Rumor Has It
by SiriusUntiltheVeryEnd
Summary: You know that girl that everybody feels sorry for but still have time to mock? After a humiliating break-up that girl had become me. And the only solution to save me from this is the one person I can't trust...Scorpius Malfoy...Merlin help me...
1. Winner Takes it All

_Fate is not an eagle, it creeps like a rat. _  
><strong>Elizabeth Bowen<strong>

* * *

><p>"Rose…are you okay?" He asked obviously uncomfortable with his current situation.<p>

My eyes trembled with tears that threatened to spill from my eyes, but I wouldn't let them. I refused to let them fall. I wouldn't let this cowardly bastard see me cry. So I swallowed them back and forced a smile on my face. It was shaky at best, but it was better than nothing.

"Yep," I grinned so hard my teeth hurt. "I'm great."

It took every nerve in my body not to slap him across the face. Instead I steered myself away from him and left the room. In the back of mind I had to remind myself that only a six months ago I was happy.

* * *

><p><strong>When I Was Happy<strong>

I was on the Hogwarts Express heading back home for summer break. My cousin Albus was unconscious on the floor, my other cousin Lily was playing wizard's chess with my brother, Hugo and I was lying against my boyfriend Aiden's chest. I had everything I wanted. I was in love with my boyfriend of a year, I had great friends, a wonderful family and I was finished with my sixth year of Hogwarts. See I should have seen that everything was going too well right then and there, but of course I didn't. Because when you're that happy you're too scared to question it.

"What days are you going to be gone for again?" Aiden whined down at me miserably as he held my face.

I grinned up at him. "25th through the 7th of July."

"So you absolutely won't make it to Hilarie's summer house?"

"No," I frowned sadly, "You know how my family is with the family trips."

He sighed, "Yeah I know. I just wish they didn't make it last so long…I wanted to snog you on the beach…under the stars."

"Well you can kiss me now."

"On behalf of everyone conscious in the compartment, ew." Lily snapped at us without looking up from the chest game.

I snickered at her. "So sorry Lily for upsetting your delicate sensibility."

"I take your apologizes into consideration."

The train came to a halt and I was forced to let go of Aiden. He wasn't so willing to let go of me though. Lily made a noise of disgust and she dragged Albus and Hugo off the train. I stayed behind with him. His brown eyes were set lazily on me as his tan arms wrapped around the back of my waist.

"I love you," He told me with a smile as he gently pushed my bangs off my face.

I grinned up at him, "I love you too."

His hands slipped down below my waist and he grinned mischievously. "Well I was thinking…when we get back from break we could…."

"Well we'll see won't we?" I wagged my eyebrows at him suggestively.

For a second we just stood there starring at each other. I loved him, he loved me and that was it. I didn't want to not see him for two months. The problem was even if I didn't do anything after my family vacation he was leaving that day for America. I was proud of him for getting an internship over there for the summer, but I was going to miss him like hell.

"ROSE!" Lily yelled from outside the compartment. "Move your fat ass!"

I sighed, grabbed my luggage. "Well write me okay?"

"I promise." He murmured before kissing me one last time.

* * *

><p><strong>3 Months Ago …<strong>

And he did write me. Everyday for the first two months of summer we wrote to each other. No matter what I was doing I always put some time aside to talk to him. He told me about how fun and interesting America was and how he couldn't wait to bring me there. I told him about my adventures with Lily, Albus and Hugo and how much I loved working at Flourish and Plots. The only thing I thought about the week before school started was getting back to him, getting back to us. Then I got the owl that changed everything. 

"MUM!" I screamed, sprinting out of my room, bolting down the stairs and abruptly stopping in front of her. "I GOT IT!"

My mother looked up at me from her paperwork. "What?" Then her eyes caught the letter in my hand and she lost it. "RON! SHE GOT IT!"

Hermione Weasley and Rose Weasley became one as we both shrieked with delight, jumping up and down together like freaks. My father came in the room looked slightly afraid of us. My mother and I were always more similar when it came to academics and he often felt out of the loop.

"Er…what's going on?"

"DADDY!" I threw my arms around him in a tight hug, "I GOT HEAD GIRL!"

"You did?" He yelled back at me.

I showed him the letter and the three of us joined in this group ecstatic family huddle. The only thing missing was my idiot brother.

"Where's Hugo?"

My father released me from his grip and frowned in thought. "I think he's over James's new flat."

"Well I'm going over to tell them!" I rushed away but then doubled back to throw them into a bone-crushing hug. "I'M SO HAPPY!"

"We couldn't tell," My dad snickered sarcastically.

I then fled to the living room. Grabbing a handful of floo powder, I tossed it carelessly into the fire and jumped inside. I whirled around in the fire until James's small flat came to my view. Hugo was sitting on the only piece of furniture in the room and James was leaning against the wall discussing Quidditch.

"Guys! I have some news!" I told them excitedly, "I got Head Girl."

They both laughed, but it was James who spoke first. "Am we supposed to be surprised?"

My eyes narrowed. "I'm happy here and it would be phenomenal if you two would join the team instead of bashing it."

"Congratulations sis." Hugo smiled lazily, wrapping me in a loose hug.

James ruffled my hair affectionately. "Yeah good job nerd."

A week later, I was on the train heading back to Hogwarts. I hadn't seen my boyfriend in two months. When I saw him at the train station I ran into his arms and in a grand gesture he hugged me and spun me around like I'd always imagined a boy someday would. Then, he put me down and kissed me, one of those sweet pre-teen kisses that are so pure and full of a magic we lose in our later years. I grinned against his lips and I pulled away.

Of course every relationships has early signs of deterioration, but in that second, I had no idea that my perfect relationship was about to have one. Aiden looked at me, smiled but that smile faded when he saw the bright Gryffindor colored badge on my chest.

"What's that?" He asked, his voice slightly off.

"I wanted to wait to tell you…_I'm Head Girl_!"

And out of everyone that I'd told, he was the only one that looked like they had to force themselves to be…_happy_. Aiden looked like he was fighting his feelings to look anything, but depressed, which killed me. I tried not to let my disappointment show but it was hard. The one person I thought would be happy for me was him. Wasn't that the point of boyfriends? To support you and believe in you? Even James was and he was the king of detention when he went to Hogwarts.

"What?" I asked in a quiet voice. "Is there something wrong?"

"No," He frowned, "I'm sorry…I just was really hoping for Head Boy. I'm sorry…I am happy for you."

He didn't look it, but I just smiled anyway and tried to be nice. "Well thank you and I'm sorry I didn't realize you were trying out for it."

"Yeah, well, I should have known it was a long shot."

"No…" I started desperately trying to think of another topic.

He acted as if the whole thing didn't bother him and gave me a fake smile. "Who is Head Boy anyway?"

"No idea." I replied honestly. "I didn't look."

For some reason that made him look angrier. I couldn't have thought of a reason why, but a few minutes later I went to the Head's compartment and he went off to sit with his friends. As I walked into the room I wanted to feel the way I had the whole week. The euphoric happiness of having gone out with a dream and succeeding in attaining it had radiated at me, but now that glow was gone. Ever since I was named prefect I dreamed about being able to put Head Girl on my resume. I worked hard as a prefect and as a student to make sure that I have a chance to get this position. And when I got it he had to go and ruin it.

But I pushed it aside and sat down looking out the window, hoping that it was just a stumbled in our otherwise great relationship. Ten minutes later I met the Head Boy, Malfoy. As if matters couldn't get any worse…. Sadly a month later it did.

* * *

><p><strong>2 Months Ago….<strong>

For five hours, I had been in the library finishing my homework when Malfoy sauntered over to my table. Over the duration of the month, we'd learned to keep our dislike to bare minimum since we had to work together so often and didn't have the time for our usual petty squabbling. But there were times where it still pushed my patience to ignore his condescending tone and snide comments.

"Weasley," He began curtly, "Did you finish the prefect spreadsheets for next week?"

I groaned, "No. I'll get them to you tomorrow during our free period."

"Fine, but do it before Potions so I can post them before dinner." Malfoy snapped swiftly before walking away.

Mockingly, I saluted his retreating form and sulked. It had become almost impossible to go to class, hang out with my friends, go to Quidditch, see my boyfriend and get all my homework done, but I was doing my best. 

Sighing to myself, I tucked my transfiguration essay away and got up to leave for the night. It wasn't due till Thursday so I had a few days to add the finishing touches. I was supposed to meet Aiden for a desperately needed snog session. But when I reached the second floor landing he was nowhere to be found. For twenty minutes, I stood there waiting for him and he never showed up. Furious I went back to my room and started the prefect schedule. An hour into it he sent me a letter apologizing for his absence and blaming it his overload of school work. I didn't respond to his letter even when his owl tried to bite me. This wasn't the first time this month I'd _'slipped'_his mind, but I wasn't going to let this one go. We were reaching our two-year anniversary and so far he hadn't said anything about it. Every other anniversary I didn't expect much because… well he had the tendency to mess them up. This was a big anniversary though and I hated to think he was just going to get me flowers and a kiss goodnight.

A week later the big date had come. I got all dressed up in this adorable blue dress I'd picked out a week before with Lily. Aiden took my hand and led me to Hogsmede. Once we were there he took me to this cute little restaurant off the side of the main road. The whole time never let go of my hand or stopped telling me how beautiful I looked. Then he handed me a bouquet of roses, which aren't my favorite flower, but it didn't matter, all that matter was he was making an effort. After dinner he took me back to castle and blindfolded me. I was nervous, but when I opened my eyes my eyes watered with happiness. He set up the room requirement with candles and rose pedals were everywhere. It was the sweetest thing he'd ever done for me.

* * *

><p><strong>1 Month Ago….<strong>

"Rose you okay?" Hugo asked me offhandedly as he passed me in the hallway.

I nodded and gave him a distant smile. "Yeah I'm good. I'll see you at lunch." 

When he left, I slid into the back of Charms classroom. Kelly and Lauren were already in their seats but they had clearly left the window seat open for me. I gave them both a smile and climbed into the seat beside them. Lauren was busy doodling on the side of her paper, her dark blonde hair, falling carelessly into her face. Kelly on the other hand was starring at me from the other side of Lauren. Her tiny little face peered at me curiously, as her long black hair spilled onto the table.

"What's up? You look upset."

I frowned. Why couldn't I have less observant people around me? "No I'm fine. Just have a lot on my mind."

"You sure?" She asked.

"Yep."

"Is it about Aiden?" Lauren questioned lightly, her eyes concentrating on the smurf she was sketching.

I blinked at them. Was I really that obvious? "Not really."

"Rose," Lauren sighed giving me a scathing look. "You really are a horrible liar. Always have been really."

"No I'm not and I'm not lying!" I insisted.

Kelly shrugged. "Oh-kay well it just seems like you two are really distant."

"I just…after our anniversary I was really excited-"

"Because he actually acted like he gave a shit." Lauren interjected wisely.

I glared at her, but continued. "Yes, but instead of putting more effort into our relationship he just insists it will be better once we get to next semester. Like saying it will be better will make it better."

Kelly raised her eyebrows, "Plus I don't see how next semester will make it better. We will get twice as much homework with N.E.W.T's coming up. And isn't he trying to get into the American Ministry?"

"Yeah," I frowned, "He is."

"Well considering you are trying to get into our Ministry to be honest I don't see how that's going to work." Lauren told me bluntly.

Kelly nudged her side roughly before turning to me. "Well have you talked about it?"

"We barely see each other as it is and we're usually fighting …or more I'm yelling at him and he just stands there and takes it."

They shared a look, but they didn't get a chance to say what they were thinking because stout little Professor Marrow came in.

As she talked I, for once, didn't listen. I starred out the window and thought about my relationship. Yes we were going through a rough patch, but we loved each other and that should be enough to get us through it. It wasn't.

* * *

><p><strong>Ten Days Ago….<strong>

"I think I'm going to break up with Aiden," I told Kelly softly as I laid back on her bed.

She paused in the midst of packing and glanced over at me sympathetically. "You sure?"

"Yeah…it's not going anywhere. We hardly talk anymore. I don't know how I'm going to do it though.._.I still love him_."

"Well tell him that. Explain that it's just not working out and you don't want to end on a bad note." Kelly advised me kindly.

I snorted with laughter. "If it were his choice he would run the relationship into the ground rather than break up."

"Well he's not the type to break up with someone."

I let out a heavy breath and starred up at her ceiling. "I know. He's too nice."

"That's not what I'd call it." Lauren scoffed as she entered the room looking quite cross. "Kelly your friend Chelsea needs to check her attitude. Just because I'm a Gryffindor doesn't mean it's illegal to enter the Ravenclaw dormitory."

Kelly snickered at that. "What did you say to her?"

"Only that if she didn't get out of my way I'd find another place for my broomstick."

I shook my head at her, unable to hold back my laughter. "Lauren. You need to learn to control your temper."

"You should talk red. I saw you having a few choice words with Malfoy last week. You looked like you wanted to behead him."

"Believe me the thought has occurred to me, but I've tried my very best to pretend that his very essence doesn't insult me."

"Well mate," Lauren began before sitting next to me. "You're going to have to try just a bit harder."

I glanced down at my watch. "I should go."

"Well good luck." Kelly said as she continued throwing sweaters into her luggage.

I didn't want to do this, but I knew it was the right thing to do. I wasn't happy and no matter what we did nothing seemed to change that. Aiden was waiting for me by the great hall. Of course the day I decide to break up with him he's on time.

"So I wanted to talk to you." I told him carefully.

"What about?" He asked stiffly.

How could I say it? I've never broken up with someone before. When I looked into his deep brown eyes I crumbled. How could I tell him I no longer wanted to be with him? My resolve strengthened as I looked away from him. I knew it wouldn't be easy but I had to stick to my guns. If I didn't want this I wouldn't have let it get this far.

"_I don't think I can do this anymore_…" I whispered, my voice braver than I felt.

His expression changed drastically as his eyes filled up with tears. "What?"

"We've been unhappy for months and this can't ever work out…You're going to America as soon as the school year ends and I'm staying here."

"So …you don't love me." Aiden questioned, his voice was weak.

"No, I do love you-"

"Then why do we have to break up? We can work it out!" He insisted.

I pulled away from him as he reached for me. "No…we can't. I'm sorry. I love you. I do. And I don't want anyone else but I just can't keep living like this. I'm sorry."

"Rose," His voice was heartbroken but I didn't look up.

"When we get over each other I want to be friends." I told him, my face full of tears and then before I could take it back, I ran.

* * *

><p><strong>Five Hours Ago…<strong>

"Rose honey you have to get up." My mother said as she sat on my bed.

I didn't even move. "Why?"

"Kelly and Lauren are here. They came to get you for your New Year's party."

"I'm not going." I told her flatly. 

I knew she was concerned, but I didn't care. In five days, I'd go back to school and have to pretend to be okay but right then I didn't want to have to force the effort. The first night after I broke up with Aiden I'd spent the whole night packing for Christmas break and crying. After that I felt like I had no more tears left in me. I didn't see Aiden and I didn't go looking for him either. Over the holidays my family tried desperately to cheer me up but I was immune. I didn't want to be happy. All I could think about was how devastated he was. My intention wasn't to hurt him. I was doing the rational and reasonable thing. Would he hate me for that? Was he ever going to get over it? My mind wasn't on my own pain; I deserved to feel this miserable. I did this to myself. I was more concerned about him. 

"Sweetheart I think it will be good for you to get out. If you go I swear you don't have to leave this room till you go back to school." She offered knowingly.

Numbly I crawled out of my bundle of blankets and climbed out of bed. "Fine. I'll go."

"Oh good. I'll send them up."

"I'm only staying for an hour." I told her before she shut the door.

Kelly walked in first but wasn't as quick as Lauren to hide her expression at the sight of me. Lauren was dressed in a cute white dress with black trimming at the bottom that showed off her nice long legs. Whereas, Kelly was in an over the shoulder olive dress that accented her cute little figure. It was clear that my days of snuggling with my comforter for support had lessened my looks but it didn't take them that long to make me pretty. 

"I'll go for an hour to make an appearance then I'm coming back." I declared firmly as they forced me into a yellow dress from my closet.

An hour later, I trailed behind Lauren and Kelly stiffly. My watch was already set so the minute my watch hit eleven I would leave. They had other ideas. Every time I would try and sneak off to get my coat one of them would suddenly pop out of nowhere and engage me in a conversation. This was the party of the year and there was no way they would intentionally let me bail out of it. Unfortunately for them, once Kelly's wannabe boyfriend, Ian McLaggen, arrived Lauren didn't notice me squeeze through the oversized crowd to the living room. I seized my opportunity quickly and went straight for the coatroom. But I didn't make it.

There were about sixty people wandering around this party, but my eyes were caught on Aiden and Claire Farns. Who were sitting on one of the couch's holding hands and smiling at each other. My heart felt like someone took a battle-axe and swung at it until it was ripped completely a part. I'd spent the whole week miserable. I'd spent the whole week thinking about what I'd done to him! And where is he? Holding hands with Claire! Slutty, needy Claire! He didn't even have the decency to just snog her. No he was actually talking to her in between their first tentative kisses like she meant something to him!

Raw with hurt, I shifted in an effort to move away, but the moment I took a step in the opposite direction he looked up. For a split second I thought he might ignore me but he didn't. He said something to her and then came towards me. I couldn't move, my feet were routed in the spot. My mind wanted him to give me a reason why he wasn't as upset as I was but my heart broke over and over again at just the sight of him. 

"Rose," He scratched his neck clumsily, "I'm sorry…I just…I miss you and I realized you're right. There's no way this is going to work out."

"So instead of grieving the loss of our relationship you jump into the nearest female's arms?"

He had the audacity to look offended. "You broke up with me Rose. Not the other way around."

"Yeah," I laughed hollowly, "Because we weren't happy. Not because I stopped loving you or wanted anybody else."

"Well…"

I crossed my arms as my lips thinned in anger. "Well _what_? If I had a choice to be alone or with someone else I'd choose to be alone!"

"I'm not like you Rose. You're strong. I'm not. I can't be alone. It hurts too much." His voice sounded so distraught but I knew better.

"Well Aiden," My voice was cutting, "_That's pathetic_. Instead of grieving our two year relationship and acting as if I meant anything to you. You throw yourself into something else so you don't have to feel bad?... Have fun with your little friend."

He grabbed my arm. His face was looked so horribly torn. "Rose… come on."

"Don't touch me." I snarled at him hatefully.

"I should tell you… before it gets out." He started sheepishly, "Clare isn't just some girl. She's my girlfriend."

My jaw tightened as my fists balled up.

"Rose…are you okay?" He asked obviously uncomfortable with his current situation. 

My eyes trembled with tears that threatened to spill from my eyes, but I wouldn't let them. I refused to let them fall. I wouldn't let this cowardly bastard see me cry. So I swallowed them back and forced a smile on my face. It was shaky at best, but it was better than nothing. 

"Yep," I grinned so hard my teeth hurt. "I'm great." 

It took every nerve in my body not to slap him across the face. Instead I steered myself away from him and left the room. In the back of mind I had to remind myself that only a six months ago I was happy. Stupid me! How could I have thought that he meant any of those things he said to me? All those letters proclaiming that I was the only one for him and that he wouldn't know what to do without me... what bullocks. Yeah, I'm special all right. I'm so special that it took him a week to get someone in to replace me.

Grabbing my coat, I apparated home and sat outside for a few minutes. No longer would I grieve over the relationship we had. It was clear that no matter how much it meant to me it wasn't worth crying over.


	2. Mean

A tip for everyone that is going to bother to go out there and try and date, eventually, someday, someone will break your heart into a million pieces. It's one of those silly side effects that no one thinks about, or more that no one wants to think about. But the moral of the story is you're going to have to get through it. And sweetheart, it does not rip like a band-aid. It's going to feeling like someone's gouging out your heart with rusty scissors. People will baby you and act like they care, but they don't. The only people that care are the ones that make light of it. Exhibit A; Hugo. 

"Sis." He started as he heaved my luggage up on the upper shelf. "If you don't cheer up. I'm going go jinx Albus so his pants drop whenever he's angry."

A small smile crept onto my face. "You can't do that…Uncle Harry will kill you."

"Not if I sneak him some of grandma's cake…you know he can't fight that."

"True, but if he eats anymore. The boy who lived will become the man with a gut."

Hugo elbowed me with a grin on his face. "There's the bitter bitch who responds when I call out, 'sister." 

I rolled my eyes and sat down on the bench. I'd spent the past five days picking myself up off the ground. Everyday I played Quidditch with James. I learned how to cook half the meals in Grandma Weasley's cooking catalog. I even took the time to reorganize my bookshelf; all five hundred books were now sorted alphabetically. All things I did to make sure that when I arrived on this train for the ride back to school I wouldn't have time to think about anything unpleasant. So now what was I thinking of? How Molly Weasley makes roast beef to perfection.

This week was going to be utter agony. Like stuck-on-a-deserted island-with-nothing-to-save-me-from-the twenty-foot-tall-menacing-bear, but-half-a-broken-flip-flop horrible. And nothing was going to save me from this, but the fragmented idea of beautifully cooked meat. I grasped onto that meal like it was life support because as soon as Hugo left the compartment to go find Albus, Rachel Levitt and her cronies entered it.

Rachel Levitt loathes me. I don't know why but ever since puberty has hit she has had this deep loathing for me. It doesn't make sense to me. Honestly she got the boobs out of the puberty drawing what was there to be bitter about? 

"Oh Rose," She flocked down next to me as if we were thick as thieves. Her blonde hair framed her rosy face perfectly. "_I just heard! _You poor thing!"

I curved my face into a smile. "Thank you for your concern, but I'm fine Rachel."

"Oh of course your not!" She cooed horribly. "You _POOR THING_! You must be so wretchedly heartbroken! Right girls?"

Kiki Deveins nodded and leaned forward eagerly. "How can you live, with the shame of it all?"

My face twitched as I tried to control my anger. "I appreciate your good intentions." I snapped sharply knowing their intentions were anything but good. "But I'm fine." They were about to go on so I stood up. "I have to pee. I'll see you girls later kay?" 

I slammed the compartment door in their smug, overly made up faces and stormed into the Head's compartment. Malfoy was thankfully in his usual compartment, leaving me some time to calm down. Sliding down to the floor, I clamped my eyes shut and focused on breathing. I wasn't going to let those stupid girls get to me. They were pitiful and small and I… I was stronger than this. Fuck him. Fuck them. Fuck…fuck!

* * *

><p>After the first two weeks I expected it to get better. People had to move on and talk about something else right? It's not that interesting of a topic in first place anyway and yet they didn't move on. In fact as soon as I got onto Hogwarts grounds it seemed as if even people I'd never met were talking about me.<p>

Oh, sad pathetic Rose. Isn't she so sad? Doesn't her life suck?

Then after the first week it turned from pity to ridicule. Instead of feeling sorry for me, people, standing less then five feet away from me, were talking about how I had it coming. How I deserved to be publically disgraced because I broke with him. The whispers should have been over by now. New rumors should have been swirling around the zest pool by now but somehow I seemed to still be on the tips of everyone's tongues.

I got to charms early and went to my seat. No one was in class yet thankfully. Taking out my parchment and spare notebook I felt my self-esteem dropping. I could handle the taunts and fake sympathetic looks from my peers. I'd grown used to it. But the one thing that killed me was seeing them together. Every time I thought I'd out run the pair of them they show up looking blissfully happy wherever I was. There is nothing that got to me more than seeing them. It's like pouring 40 gallons of gasoline on already roaring forest fire.

Pulling out a quill, I began to gnaw down at the edge of it resentfully. At the moment I hated everyone and everything and I was perfectly happy with that. When I first broke up with him I cried every night. I didn't leave my room. I didn't even wash my hair. I was just miserable. The minute that I discovered how quickly he moved on though I became infuriated. Sure I was heartbroken, but it wasn't because of what he did, it was more what he didn't do. He didn't fight for me. He didn't even wait three seconds to think about me. The only person he gave any thought to was himself. Big shocker. The only way I can get through the day with any sort of dignity was by indulging my natural dramatic flair. My current mindset is the only way I can whip out my _woe-is-me_attitude wherever the hell I want to. And the way things are going I might have to drop to the floor and put a hand to my forehead right now in the horror of it all.

Frowning pensively, I opening my notebook and began to let my thoughts run wild. An idea struck me and I couldn't help, but go for it. The classroom filled, but I did not give anyone the time of day. A rage was circling through me the more and more I drew until I filled up six pages worth of doodles. Lauren arrived before Kelly did. It was funny her long hair was held back by a thick red and white polka dot headband that flawlessly matched her quirky socks. For a moment she left me alone to my own devices, but that moment didn't last long. She peered over my shoulder at my drawings in confusion. 

"Watcha doing there sport?" Lauren asked lightly. She enjoyed my newfound self-deprecating humor more than Kelly did.

"Doodling."

"Well show it to me when you're done."

I nodded at her appreciatively. 

As I sketched out my feelings Lauren pulled out her Transfiguration book. She was notorious for last minute studying but even I had to give it to her. The transfiguration exam was in an hour and here she was reading the chapter for the first time. Kelly would have a fit. In Kelly's mind people should study all week and not stop until you take the test. I was more in the middle about it. Studying is important; you don't get the grades I get without thinking so but when it comes to midterms Kelly gets a little overboard about it. Proving my point, she stormed in, her hair everywhere and fell into the seat next to Lauren almost in a state of hysterics. 

"You okay there King Kong?" I shot at her.

She nodded, her eyes slightly crazed. "Just was in the library."

"Surprise, surprise." Lauren snorted from behind her book.

"All done!" I whispered to Lauren, handing her my notebook.

Her eyebrows rose as she saw the title. Kelly was busy with her notes so we scooted closer together so we could read it together.

"The sad chronicles." Lauren snorted again as she looked at the picture of an actual heart, broken and crying. She turned the page to a picture of a huge hand slapping a stick figure girl in the face. "And this is…_you_?"

I nodded with a sly smile. "All the ones with the dresses are."

"Huh," She mumbled as she turned the page to a picture of a girl trapped under a huge boulder with only her head, arms and feet visible. She roared at that but still continued on to the next page. Seeing the next page, she tilted her head in confusion. "And who is this fat crossing guard supposed to be?"

I busted out into delirious laughter. "That's cupid."

"I see…. So cupid is shooting you?"

"Oh it get's worse." I told her, turning the page. "See there? He's throwing me off that cliff."

Lauren smiled, "I like this one. What does it say? I can't read your tiny ass handwriting."

"I say, '_No! Stop! Please! I just want love!'_ And Cupid says, _'No excuses. Play like a champion._"

She snickered. "And this next one?"

"He's shooting me and I'm crying."

Once she saw it was the last page she gave me loving smile. "Kid, this is a cry for help."

"Maybe on anyone else, but on me it's just pathetic."

We were laughing so hard that Kelly had to yell at us to be quiet.

* * *

><p>An hour later we dragged ourselves out of our seats and slumped to Transfiguration. Kelly looked as pale as a ghost, which was remarkable considering how naturally tan she was. I didn't even bother to remind her that it was only a test. To Kelly everything in life was a test, and she was determined to ace it all with flying colors. Lauren linked arms with me as Kelly threw her face into her textbook. <p>

"You know, I'm often surprised on how she can walk while she does that." I remarked softly.

She smirked. "When did you start studying?"

"Week before Christmas."

"And when did you stop?"

I shrugged, "Last night. Three weeks is enough."

"Huh." 

She opened her mouth to say something else to me, probably a question on how the next Quidditch match is going to play out but she didn't get finish it. Why? Because right at that moment Rick Fitzpatrick came sauntering up the hallways. Let me explain, Rick is an asshole and has been ever since he stepped on Hogwarts train our first year. The way he is an asshole is which different than say the way Scorpius Malfoy is an asshole.

Malfoy is an arrogant, snide asshole that enjoys long struts around the castle and insulting me with underhand comments about my blood purity and my so-called intelligence deficiency. But even Malfoy has his limits. Rick on the other hand is a whole different breed. He doesn't like my personality just as much as Malfoy, but he's made it absolutely apparent what he would do with me if we were alone, which is precisely why I make it a point to never even be in the same room as him if I can help it. 

"Oy Weasley! Why don't you come with me so can see if the drapes match the carpet?"

_Case in point._"Bugger off Fitzpatrick." I growled as he cozied up on my side.

"Why? It's not like you're going to get any other offers."

A chill of loathing trickled down my spine as my lips thinned in intense dislike. "Fitzpatrick if you say another word to me I'll give you detention for the rest of your life."

"Nah it's an empty threat. You'll get desperate soon enough once you realize that nobody wants you."

Literally, I was about to go crazy. Who says that to someone else? Honestly? I'd taken about as much as I could take. The stupid brute seemed to sense that his lower region was in danger because the minute I inhaled to round on him he disappeared. Letting out a furious breath, I clambered into a seat in the front next to Kelly.

"I swear to Merlin," I began threateningly to Lauren. "If one more person says something to me…."

"It's a tough break kid. I would have thought they all would get over it by now but then again it is you that it's happening to so I guess that might be why they're prolonging it."

I blinked at her confusedly. "What do you mean?"

"Sweetheart you're basically Hogwarts royalty with your family being so famous and noble and all. Plus you have this whole golden girl thing."

"Okay, what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

She rolled her eyes, "You know. You're Head Girl, you were a prefect, you're top of the class and you've been on the Quidditch team for five years. Honey people kind of expect you to just get…everything."

"I don't…_get everything_!" I snapped, "I work my ass off for everything I have!"

"I know you do but nobody else does. Look, I've seen you pulling the all nighters and go days without a moment to relax to accomplish all those lovely things but every one else hasn't. They see you walk around the halls with it all …_together._"

I frowned. "Well…I guess I'm glad I come off that way."

"Okay here's a suggestion. Why don't you just ask someone out?"

"Because it's as simple as that." I scoffed darkly.

Lauren sighed, "Rose as much as I like the bitter version of you…"

"What?"

"I think it would help you to let go of that leech to move to somebody new even if it's just a phase." 

As soon as I finished my Transfig exam I sat in my desk quietly thinking about what Lauren said. Most people waited till they were completely over their past relationship to move on to a completely new one but maybe that wasn't what I should do. Maybe I should just take a chance with someone new. On the spare sheet of parchment next to my test, I wrote down a list of boys names that were eligible and that I'd be interested in. The list became incredibly short as I realized it was hardly a list at all. Only one name was on my list, Robbie Turner.

My cheeks became heated as I thought about him. He made his intentions clear about me a few months ago, but I was unsure if he still felt the same. I would have heard if he had liked anyone, our school was about as secretive as a girl's bathroom. The possibility of a new someone brought up my mood. I pictured his face and the first real smile in a while came on my face. This new prospect was…exciting.

Once the bell rang I rose, Kelly joined our conversation quickly as if she hadn't spent the past two hours out of the loop.

* * *

><p>"Well I think you should wait till you're ready." Kelly announced as the moral center of the group. "I mean what if you really like him and he finds out you were just using him as a rebound?"<p>

Lauren tossed her arm around tiny Kelly. "Dear dear Kelly. If she does date him and likes him it could easily turn into an actual relationship. Tell me Kelly have all your relationships followed the perfect dating procedure?"

"No," She sent Lauren a dirty look, "But I don't think it's a good idea."

"Well I'm going to try it anyway." I told her firmly, "Honestly I have to try something. If it was just me I could get over it on my own, but how can I with the whole world reminding me?"

I could tell Kelly wanted to say more. She just was trying figure out the best way to say it. We moved through the great hall and I sat in between my cousin's.

Lily glanced at me in between bites. "How was your exam?"

I shrugged. "Fine. I actually wanted your advice on something."

"On what exactly?" Albus questioned curiously.

"Nothing that concerns you Albus."

He raised my hands in innocence and went back to his meal. "Just curious!"

Lily tucked her bright orange hair behind her ears. "So, what's the romantic entanglement you've gotten yourself into?"

"I was wondering what you thought about me dating again."

"Why do you need to?"

"I don't _need _to do anything." I lowered my voice, "I'm just sick of everybody talking about me."

She put her head on my shoulder and put down her fork. "Well I know once you get an idea in that head of yours you follow it through. But just so you know I think this a horrible idea."

"Why?"

"There is four and a half months till you graduate. Do you really want to spend that time bothering with a man?"

A wild laugh escaped my lips. "Are you sure you're sixteen? Because I swear you're forty!"

"A wit beyond measure is a woman's greatest treasure." She recited with a cocky smirk.

"Look if it doesn't work out I'll move on. I just need to try to do something. I'm sick of hearing my own name in those whores mouths."

Lily gave me a look. "Why do you care what they think?"

"I don't. I care that I have to hear it. I swear I can't even go to the loo without hearing my own name."

"Well you could always visit Moaning Murtle." She told me with a chuckle.

"Oh yes," I drawled sarcastically, "That's just what I need right now. A hundred year old ghost whining at me while I'm trying to pee."

Lily gave me a sad smile and handed me some food. I ate some chicken and listened to Albus, Hugo and Benny argue about Quidditch. Benny thought that Ravenclaw would win but Albus didn't agree.

"I hate to say it but Malfoy's a pretty decent captain." Albus told him sourly, "Although his beaters are rubbish their team is still better than Ravenclaw."

Benny shook her long blonde hair. "They have Robbie Turner."

"Who is a phenomenal seeker." I agreed.

"And," Lily smirked at me knowingly, "A hunk."

* * *

><p>Five hours later, as I was entering the prefects meeting I decided that I would approach Robbie later. Maybe he would be receptive, maybe he wouldn't, but there would be only one way to find out. No one was in the room yet except Carlie Phillips. She was five foot two sixth year, with sweet blonde hair, gray eyes and an ideal figure. <p>

"Hi Carlie," I smiled at her politely.

Her face lit up with kindness. "Hey Rose. How's it going?"

"Good you?"

"Oh nothing well…." Her face broke out into a smile. "Someone just asked me out!"

My eyebrows rose as I put the schedules around the table. "Oooh who?"

"Robbie Turner!" 

My heart sank the minute the words left her mouth. I wanted to throw myself off a thousand foot cliff. But what did I do? Did I punch her? Kick her? Tell her she smelled? No, I didn't. I smiled and congratulated her as she gushed on about how he asked her out. I mean, what else could I really do? She was a nice person who was genially liked him and by her description it was clear that he liked her. It made sense really. Both of them were really attractive, smart, popular and nice. So even though I was sad that I had lost a potential getaway plan...I mean boyfriend… I couldn't bring myself to even dislike Carlie. She was the better woman than I was and they deserved each other. I was just going to have to just get through this and accept that there wasn't any easy way out. They'd eventually all leave me alone and get on with their own lives. In the meantime I'd just stay positive and ignore them. 

Malfoy sauntered in and sat down in the empty chair next to me. "Weasley, I didn't know you were coming today."

I gave him an odd look. "Why wouldn't I be at a meeting that we are both required to attend?"

"I thought you would be crying in your dorm over your sad sad life." Malfoy said in a silky patronizing tone.

"You know Malfoy I actually thought you would be more original." I whispered to him casually not even insulted by his comment. "You have been insulting me for years. I would have thought you would at least have an insult with a little more meat." 

He didn't respond. For a moment I was scared that he'd been murdered. He always has a snappy retort handy for one of our bickering matches, but when I looked over I saw he was indeed alive. He was just quiet and starring at the end of the table. 

"You alright?"

He blinked and seemed to regain himself. His eyes trailed back to my face. "Yeah…Why?"

"Oh dear …Merlin." I snorted as the girls at the end of the table starred daggers at Malfoy. "What did you do to them?"

"Nothing!" He snapped. "Let's just start the damn meeting."

I eyed him with a smirk. "Fine. Okay everybody here?"

They all nodded in unison.

"Okay well I've passed out the schedule's-"

"Yes well we can all see that. I asked for Saturday off." Rachel interrupted me swiftly.

My lips thinned in anger. "Well _Rachel_," I spoke sharply, "You didn't ask it off for validated reason. So you have to do rounds. You can't simply ask for a day off just because. Now-"

"What are those reason's again?" She pretended to be courteous, but I could feel her slithering around, waiting for her minute to strike. 

I took a stabilizing breath and pulled out the handbook. This bitch wasn't going to get under my skin, not today. I'd give her the exact textbook example and we'd move on. But even as I felt her predatory gaze on me I knew she wouldn't let this go. She brought it up for a reason and she wasn't going to let it go until she got whatever it was she wanted. 

"Quidditch, Detention, Club Meeting, Family illness, Personal illness and Death are the only reasons for missing prefect rounds."

"And you are going to follow the textbook? So the only way I can get out of this is by dying? Are you asking me to commit suicide?"

I rolled my eyes. As if I had that glorious power. "Nope. I'm just following the rules."

"We can't bend them?" She asked in a coy voice.

"No. We don't bend the rules for anybody. I'm sure other people in this room have had to work when they didn't want to. Now everyone who has one of the prescribed excuses please pass their notes to Malfoy." 

There was a soft ruffling as Albus and a handful of others passed their papers to Malfoy. I let out a large breath as I tried to calm down my temper. Maybe I should have had Malfoy take over so she would have less to work with. Malfoy would have shut her down instantly and she would have shut up for the rest of the meeting. With me, Rachel always found another reason to keep the fight going. 

"Rose honey," Her voice was sickeningly sweet, "Could _you _possibly cover for me?"

"Sorry I can't." I flashed her a phony smile.

"Well darn," She snapped her fingers while puffing out her chest. "I just thought since its Hogsmede you wouldn't mind doing me this favor."

I was about to kill her. "Well Rachel I can't. So let's move on."

"Because," She started loudly, "Everyone knows you certainly don't have a date. What were you planning to do? Sit in a coffee shop by yourself?" 

I don't know how Malfoy knew what I was going to do. Maybe it was the murderous expression on my face, or maybe he'd just been on the receiving end of my rage enough times to see the warning signs, but he got to his feet quickly and gripped my arm firmly. "Rachel, knock it off. If you don't want to work turn in your resignation and we'll have Emily Smart take your place."

The laughter died on her face. Apparently she didn't want to give up her shiny badge and the power it awarded her. Malfoy then took the liberty of continuing the meeting. He had to first force me to sit down but after that I didn't fight him. I don't know why he stopped me in the first place. He hated her just as much as I did. For twenty minutes I stayed down, seething to myself. At the end of the meeting I moved to leave, but he blocked me. His gray eyes were narrowed down at me and we waited until everyone was gone. 

"Weasley, get it together." He told me bluntly, "You are not going to lower our position by stooping to her level."

I scowled at him hatefully. "Malfoy, if one of them had made a, _'Death Eater,'_slam at you would you have stood there calmly?"

His pale face grew red. "Yes. I would have."

"Bullshit. You aren't as controlled as you like to think you are. Besides it came out of nowhere! I was just going to go over the schedule and she interjects a ridiculous complaint just to give me a cheap shot!"

He rolled his eyes. "Weasley she hates everyone-"

"Not you Malfoy." I reminded him with a sly smile.

His scowl grew dark. "You love throwing that in my face don't you?"

"I think it's hysterical how she claws after you."

"Keep laughing Weasley and see that it doesn't bite you in the ass."

I laughed after him as he stormed out. "How could it?" 

Soon enough I would find out.


	3. Trouble is a Friend

People always say when you fall down you have to pull yourself back up. Most of those people however don't mean it literally. But as I lifted my body out of a two-foot ditch of mud I knew that in my case things should always be taken literally.

Looking up at my classmates, I wanted to just drop right back down to the ground and die. Yes my life had been unfortunate before but until this moment it hadn't taken a physical toll. Two days earlier I knew my life was almost at it's lowest, but as I felt the grimy dirt nestle into my hair, I knew I finally arrived to the lowest point possible.

Two days earlier, I was just leaving the prefect meeting and heading back to my dorm. Although I wasn't in the best mood it was slightly improved from the mood previous to it. My steps weren't as heavy and my body wasn't as rigid. After my self pep talk in the Head meeting I seemed to be able to pick myself up. Maybe I would get through this. That thought vanished from my mind however when I saw Rachel waiting outside my dorm. What the hell could she want? There was no crowd to use against me here. 

"Oh Rose!" She greeted me like an old friend. "Could you be a dear and give me the password?"

My eyebrows rose as my stomach tightened hatefully. "Why do you need it?"

"Well, just between us girls, I want to ask Scorpius to Hogsmede."

I couldn't help it. It was too easy. I had to strike back. So I feigned an interested look. "Really? Because I think he already has a date."

"What?"

"Yeah, I saw him writing the note yesterday. Though I didn't see who it was addressed to so maybe he's sending it to you…" My jaw dropped dramatically, "Maybe it's sitting in your room right now!" 

Without second guessing my helpfulness she strutted away, her ridiculous heels clicking the whole way.

It was insane how gullible she was. After all she did just spend the past hour attempting to discredit me and yet she didn't even consider whether or not to trust my advice. I guess she was really desperate for Malfoy.

I paused and busted out into laughter at that thought before walking through the portrait hole. Malfoy, ironically, was sitting on the couch finishing his potions essay. Despite our mutual hatred I felt entitled to let him know what I'd just done. So I sat next to him. 

"What do you want Weasley?" He asked bluntly, his voice was tired and worn.

"Do you have a date for Hogsmede?" I asked bluntly.

He looked surprised for a moment then gave me an odd look. "No."

"Well you might want to find one… because I found Rachel lurking outside and I told her you already had one."

"Why…would you do that?" His voice was beyond annoyed.

I tilted my head at him curiously. "I thought you didn't like Rachel."

"That's precisely it Weasley. I always go stag and now she's going to expect me to either take her or someone else."

I had yet to see a problem with that. "Um then ask someone else."

"Everyone worth taking already has a date."

As usual his words found their mark. So I shrugged, and walked to my staircase. "Well that sucks. I'm going to bed."

"Come back here!"

"What?" I turned and propped my hand on my hip.

His face was impassive. "You don't have a date."

"No I don't and thank you for so elegantly throwing that in my face. Now I'm goin-"

"You're going with me to Hogsmede." He told me as if it was obvious.

"WHAT?"

"You got me into this mess and there's no way I'm going with her."

I let out a hollow laugh. "That sounds like a personal problem. I apologize for setting her on you but there's no way in hell-"

"What you have better plans?" He asked with a smirk. "You going with a really striking book?"

I bit down on my lip so hard it bled. "You know, I know we hate each other. I've come to grips with that fact from the minute you opened your mouth to insult me first year. I understand that you will never be civil with me because it's against your very nature but do you really have to join the team? Do you really have to add to the hell they are inflicting on me?"

His face softened as furious tears surfaced in my eyes.

"I've been exploited enough. Now if what I've done is truly horrible then I will write her a letter explaining my error but don't you dare stand there and look down on me. I have enough people pointing at and judging me. I'm not weak and feeble. I don't need a date and you know what? I don't want one!"

I spun and was about to stomp up the stairs to my room when his arm gripped mine and stopped me. Glancing up at him I was surprised to find him looking…remorseful. The revelation didn't make my anger fade, but it did make my cheeks flush for a reason I didn't know.

"_I didn't mean it like that_…" His face was tightened uncomfortably as his steel eyes scrambled for the right words. "I just meant…"

"What?" I questioned him sharply, considerably unnerved by this side of him. "What did you mean then?"

Malfoy let out a sigh and released my arm gently. "I'm just saying for one day… we can help each other out."

"I don't need your help."

"Oh?" His usual pompousness returning slightly.

"I can handle it."

"I'm sure you can."

I crossed my arms at him. "What do you think a date with you would even do to help me?"

"Incase you've missed it, I'm the most popular bachelor at Hogwarts."

A loud snort busted out of my mouth. "And humble too huh?"

"I'm just saying it's one night. It would boost your credibility and give me peace from Rachel." He reasoned as if it were as easy as that.

"It's a wonderful thought, but no one would ever believe that neither you nor I would share a book let alone a date."

A trace of a smile was on his face. "That's true, but they wouldn't stop talking about it either." 

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. If his face didn't look entirely serious I would think this was all some huge ploy to embarrass me further. How could he be serious though? This ridiculous conversation was the longest we had ever gone without hexing each other, but it was also completely crazy. Rationally I tried to consider it and make sure that I was right. Maybe he was right, it would be insane, but maybe he had a point. 

"Well…what would we do?" I asked with a frown.

"Eat, shop, and leave."

It sounded easy enough but I still had my reservations. "Will we have to…_hold hands_?"

"No," His replied instantly.

"What will we tell everyone?"

He shrugged coolly. "My friend's won't really care."

"This is crazy!"

"It will last three hours tops."

I gave him a look of disbelief. "You think that you and I can stand to not only be civil for three hours but act like…we like each other?"

"I can fake it."

"I highly doubt that."

He sneered down at me. "Wanna bet?"

"What are we betting on specifically?"

"I bet you that I can make it longer than you can."

A smirk popped up onto my face. "You know what? You're on."

"Fine."

"Fine. Oh and by the way you have to ask me. I hope that isn't too much trouble since you would look stupid if you weren't taking the forward position."

"Naturally."

I couldn't take him the least bit seriously. "You do that then."

For a moment we starred at each other, each trying to see when the other would break down. Neither of us gave in. So finally after exactly three minutes I scowled.

"Well I'm going to bed. I guess I'll see you tomorrow Malfoy."

"Guess you will Weasley."

As I wondered up the steps to my room I felt like I was in the middle of a very odd dream.

* * *

><p>The next morning I woke up and went straight to the great hall. Lauren was sitting at the far end of the Gryffindor table with her little sister Delilah.<p>

"Hey guys."

Lauren nodded at me as she read her Daily Prophet. Delilah grinned at me perkily. "How are you Rose?"

"I'm just wonderful." I yawned softly. "How about you?"

"I'm okay. I was wondering if you would help me with my Charms later?"

"Sure." 

Delilah flashed me a crooked smile. She like Lauren was gorgeous and at fifteen knew how to use it to her advantage. As I poured myself some orange juice I began to go over a mental checklist of what I had to accomplish today.

1) Start potions essay.

2) Make Kelly's birthday present.

3) Finish Count of Monte Cristo.

It was a relatively small list, but I still had to go to Defense and Potions. There was something lingering in the back of my mind that I couldn't remember. Something about the night before...I remembered the head meeting and the classes I went to but there was something I was missing. Shaking my head I ignored my instincts and went back to my breakfast. It would occur to me eventually. I had no idea that it would quite literally hit me. 

"What the hell is that?" I heard Lauren laugh.

"What?"

She nudged me in the stomach. "Rose look!"

I scowled at her but it didn't last long. The second I looked up my jaw dropped. Seven owls of various shapes and sizes had large tarp with about a hundred roses on it.

"Who are they fo-?" I didn't even have a chance to finish my sentence because the owls dropped the flowers in front of me. 

My body was perfectly still as I starred at the scene in front of me, astounded. Though I felt everyone's eyes on me I didn't turn around to look. Of course Lauren being Lauren didn't wait for everyone else's opinion. She just stood right up and grabbed the parchment. 

"It says, 'Rose would you…'"

I rose to my feet and moved next to her. "Go on."

"It says, 'Would you do my the great honor of going to Hogsmede with me…Scorpius." 

Embarrassment didn't cover it. My entire body was on fire. Me, along with the entire great hall turned to look at Scorpius Malfoy. And you know he didn't even have the audacity to look the least bit self-conscious. Instead he slid out of his chair and grinned at me. 

"Well?" He called across the now silent hall. 

If it were anyone else I would have been to overcome to speak because the gesture was so …sweet but I knew Scorpius was just trying to one up me on this bet. So I took a deep breath and put on the biggest smile. "Yes."

It seemed as if the whole contents of the great hall held its breath before I answered because the minute I did there was a collective gasp. Then everyone snapped back into his or her conversations as if the whole thing never happened. Except for the fact that a majority of their conversations changed from Quidditch and the latest article in Witches Weekly to the Hogwarts bad boy asking out…me.

The look Kelly gave me was priceless. Her tiny little face looked at me in absolute horror. She couldn't believe I would do such a thing. Glancing to the side I was surprised to see that Lauren was wearing the same expression. Before they could question me or anyone else could for that matter, I grabbed a bagel, slung my bag over my shoulder and strutted to class.

* * *

><p>The rest of the day was surprisingly pleasant. True everyone was still talking about me, but it wasn't about how feeble I was. Now it was how they couldn't believe that he was interested in me. Frankly, I wasn't insulted at that, because even I had to admit Malfoy was attractive. It took me years to notice because I was so busy hating him, but sometime last year I saw him flirting with some girl and I saw it. That thing that made girls ages 12-20 loose their minds was clear in a way it never had been before. He had this just dark knight look about him. Like he would be the guy that would show up in a crisis with his black leather jacket, swooping blonde hair and prominent chin, and would smirk at the danger. Girls love that shit. Because the only thing that's more fascinating is what's hidden in that smirk. It's a smirk that tempts the bad guys to do their worst because he sure as hell will do his. At least that's what Lily told me when I asked what the big deal was.<p>

I'd spend the majority of the afternoon sitting in my common room finishing up Kelly's present and was 80 percent done when I saw that soon I would have to leave for potions. Arriving early I sat in the front and went back to work. Since this was the only class I didn't share with Kelly I didn't care who saw it. 

"What are you doing?"

Except maybe Rachel. "What do you want Rachel?"

"Well while you are playing arts and crafts I was wondering what the angle was."

I glared up at her. "What the angle of what is?"

"You and Scorpius of course."

"I don't know what you're talking about…I was sitting at breakfast and he sent me flowers and asked me out. You saw it happen so I don't see what the question is-"

Rachel leaned on the chair next to me scathingly. "Rose I'll make this clear to you. I want Scorpius. We will graduate soon and if I don't get him to be mine by the end of the semester than I can kiss our marriage goodbye."

If I were drinking something I would have spit it out. "_Marriage?"_

"Yes. I'm sure you've heard of the notion." Her tone was cutting, "Now all that stands in my way is you."

"Even if he didn't ask me out what makes you think he would want to marry you? You're only seventeen."

Rachel released a high girlish laugh. "Are you kidding? Look at me!"

"Well then why didn't he ask _you _out?"

Her face turned from fake friendly to coldblooded in an instant. "Listen here Weasley, I've put up with you over these years and even have thrown you a bone, but if you prevent me from getting him I will take you down." 

Then before I could utter a syllable, she flicked her hair over her shoulder and went to sit with her friends in the back. Put up with me my ass! If I weren't Head Girl I would have kicked her ass by now. Before this year at least she didn't say this shit to my face, but the minute we got onto the train it was suddenly open season on me. Even my mother wouldn't be disappointed in me if I took action but I'm sure our headmaster might have a problem with it. Seeing as Head Girls are supposed to keep other students in line and all. Sometimes being in a position of power sucks. 

"What's wrong with you?" Albus questioned dropping in next to me.

"Rachel." I growled hatefully.

He gave my arm a squeeze of reassurance. "Just four more months."

"Easy for you to say," I scoffed furiously. "If someone attacks you, you can do whatever you bloody please."

"But I wouldn't."

I smiled at him kindly. "No, that's more of James thing to do."

"But I have to ask…what is with Malfoy?"

"If I understood him I would tell you."

Albus's green eyes narrowed at me suspiciously. "Then why did you say yes?"

"If I understood I would tell you." I chuckled to him.

"Well you better only go on one date."

"Why does it matter?"

He looked at me as if I'd gone mental. "Because…he's Malfoy. Nothing good can come of making a habit of …being near him."

"I thought your father lectured you about making nice with him."

"He did, but your father didn't." He pointed out meaningfully.

I shrugged as I lowered my voice so only he could hear me. "Don't worry. I still hate him and he still hates me."

"So why are you-?"

Albus was shut up as soon as he noticed Professor Huston had already started class. I followed suit and put away Kelly's present.

"The potion we are going to perform today is complex. Ms. Weasley could you please come up here and demonstrate it?" 

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. She did this every potions class to either Albus or me just because of our surname. Albus sent me a smirk; clearly he was happy that today was my oh-so-lucky day. I went up to the professor and did everything she instructed. Finally after fifteen minutes she let me return to my seat. Most teachers treated me like any other student, but there were a few, like Huston, who went out of their way to make sure I stood out. Maybe she thought that my parent's would appreciate hearing how she puts me on display for the class, but I didn't. People starred at me enough without her help.

The rest of class was quite uneventful. Albus and I completed our in class assignment quickly and moved onto our next task; mad libs. We'd discovered this muggle wonder years ago when we were Christmas shopping near a convenience store. Since the adults were busy choosing our presents we snuck inside and along with millions of other interesting artifacts this book. Now I have never before or since shoplifted but I was seven so the amount of guilt was subsided by the fact that it was worth less than a sickle.

Now for any holiday big or small we get each other a new mad libs to use for the few classes we share together. Last time in Care of Magical Creatures we went through three pages as Hagrid chased after the Kink he'd brought to class. We would have helped, but we both were scared shitless of the thing. 

"Class dismissed!" Professor Huston announced finally.

Albus gave me a lopsided smirk. "Best Mad libs yet!"

"My favorite was,_ 'baboons will loose their teeth if they moon me once more._"

"Inventive eh? Originally it was, 'blank will blank blank teeth if blank blank blank once blank."

I laughed as we moved out of the class. "Yes Albus, truly visionary."

* * *

><p>Later on that night as I sat in my common room I felt perky. For the first time in two months all my homework was finished and it amazed me. Lauren had decided to come over after dinner and help me add the last touches on Kelly's photobook. It became clear by the way she kept glancing at me that her only intention wasn't just to offer her assistance.<p>

"This looks great Rose." She admired a particularly good picture of the three of us.

I beamed. "Thanks!"

"But I would like to address what happened this morning."

I rolled my eyes at her. She was so diplomatic. "Okay…"

"Is Malfoy seriously interested in you because that would so…" I never found out what it would be because at that moment she made a strange face and shook her head. "More importantly what the hell were you doing saying yes?"

"Why are you so offended?"

She blinked at me. "Are you mental? You've hated the guy since we started Hogwarts and the last time I checked that hasn't changed."

That was true. My feelings towards Malfoy hadn't shifted in any respect, but still I went along with this date. I even played along when he attempted to show me up with the flowers. I'm supposed to be taking the hits sent at me with grace. What I'm not supposed to do apparently is date my sworn enemy. Maybe that's what was so appealing about it. The fact that no one expected or understood what I was doing, including, and maybe in fact especially, myself, drove me to doing it. Then again it wasn't hard to analyze myself. The forbidden is always alluring because who doesn't want to do something you're not supposed to. But looking at Lauren's face I knew I couldn't tell her any of that. So I simply lied. 

"You know Lauren he's actually not that bad." I've never seen her look so shocked in my life and I quite enjoyed it. You would have thought I told her that she was an alien made for breeding or something. "Calm down okay. It's just one date."

Her thin blonde eyebrows shot right back up. "Fine, but if it becomes anything more than that I'm going to commit you."

Kelly would have ranted on all night, but after Lauren said what she had to say she said nothing more about it for the rest of the night.

* * *

><p>"Rose, if you don't wake up you'll miss breakfast."<p>

I inhaled sharply and pulled my face out of my pillow to look up. "Whata?"

Hugo came over with a smile. "It's nearly noon sis."

"Oh…" I felt my stomach grumble. "Right."

"Come on. You have to get up."

I shook my head grumpily. "Why?"

"Because you have a date today. Or do you forget on purpose?" His smirk grew as I starred at him.

"How did you-?"

Hugo rolled his brown eyes at me. "Come on Rose. I know you better than anybody and more importantly I know Malfoy. And there's no way in hell that you would go out with him unless you two had an agreement."

"Well I'm glad you aren't going to give me any shit."

"Somebody has to be on Team Rose and as usual that person has to be me."

I laughed at that. "Well thank you for the outstanding vote of confidence."

"Anytime." 

As I sat up I had to grin at him. The way his brown hair laid gracefully off his face, the weary look that he wore so well reminded me of my father so much. Looks wise I may look just like my father but I act more like my mother when it comes to most things. Hugo was the opposite, he had my mothers almost every thing physically but when came down to it he was a carbon copy of my dad. They were both so laid back and calm about everything. Always in the back of my mind was this nagging concern of where I was going with my life, but they weren't that way. Their main concern was what they were going to eat for the next meal or who was winning the Quidditch finals. They didn't stay up nights, and weeks worrying what was going to become of them. Sometimes I wonder which way is better, to worry or to just simply let your life happen to you. 

Rising I moved my worries back to their comfy little nook in the back of my brain and proceeded to stand. "I'll meet you down in the Great Hall in a few minutes."

"Alright," He ruffled my hair affectionately prior to leaving my room. 

I slumped down the stairs exhaustedly. Every orifice of my body was squeaky clean and I wasn't keen on leaving my dorm. It had been years since I'd taken a day to simply taken a day to just lay in bed all day. When I was young I did it often but now there was barely enough of hours in the day to just sit down and relax. I love keeping busy with Quidditch, school, head girl duties and hanging out with my friends but some days it would be nice to not have to be anywhere or do anything. I guess that's one of the consequences of getting older, you have to do things you don't want to do. As if he could hear my inner monologue, Malfoy appeared in the common room behind me. 

"What are you doing?"

I turned confusedly. "Going to breakfast."

"Alright," He snorted as if this activity he didn't deem acceptable. "Well you might want to do something with yourself."

"What do you mean?" I snapped quickly, crossing my arms.

Malfoy took a step towards me arrogantly. "Look, I don't want to go on this date anymore than you do…_trust me_. But you caused this mess and you looking _like that _is not going to fix it."

"What most of your dates don't wear neon headbands and no make up?" I scoffed sarcastically.

"Shockingly no. They actually care how much of a resemblance they share with a _sprawling duck_."

I held back a laugh at that and instead gave him a look. "Well what am I supposed to wear?"

"Not grandma's old sweater and a pair of fisherman jeans." He told my authoritatively.

"What? And I should be dressed like you? Who wears black on a first date?"

"Clearly," He began snidely, "Someone who values the wear of a good tailor."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. You know what? You're right."

"That only took seven years for you to discover that."

"Well since I'm such a slow learner and you _CLEARLY _have a better fashion sense then me why don't you go pick out my outfit?"

Apparently, that was not what he was expecting to hear. "…What?"

"Well since you are so superior to me in every way," I stopped to smirk, "Then you should have no problem picking out something as simple as something for me to wear."

It took a second, but then he scoffed and walked past me. "Whatever Weasley."

"Chicken shit."

He spun on his heel and gave me a thoughtful glance. "What are you playing at Weasley?"

"I'm going to keep challenging you because you Scorpius Malfoy seem to think that you can do anything. And I'd like to see you prove that."

"You're on Weasley." 

Twenty minutes later, I emerged from my room in an outfit we finally both agreed on. At first he seemed content on me going in just my underwear. I explained that though he might be content with going on a date with a corpse I was not cool with freezing to death. Finally I walked out of my room in a v-neck light pink shirt, a pair of my darker expensive jeans, my black pea coat jacket and some stylish boots that I was half sure were actually Lily's. He also gave me shit about my choice in make-up and absolutely refused to let me leave the dorm with my headband. It was funny but it wasn't actually as bad as I thought it would be. Actually it was kind of fun and our bickering wasn't as dark and hateful as it usually was.

We walked down to the great hall together and everything was fine until we remembered something…well actually two things. 1) We hated each other and 2) we were supposed to go on a date in an hour. Suddenly the space between us wasn't nearly enough and our walking became so fast that it could hardly to be defined as such.

* * *

><p>Walking inside the great hall I sat in between Lily and Kelly and sighed. Lily black eyes glanced quickly down at my shoes and then back up at my face. "Huh, I was wondering what I did with those."<p>

"Do you mind if I wear them?"

She shook her head. "Nope. Someone has to get some use of them and in my closet I'd quickly forget about them."

Kelly leaned close to me and lowered her voice. "You know at first I thought you were crazy."

"At first as in the first day you met me or…?"

"But now," She continued as if I never interrupted. "I think it's a good idea."

I began piling my plate with pancakes. "Are you going to tell me what you mean or are you going to make me just guess?"

"You and Malfoy."

"What?"

She gave me a bemused smile. "You're going to make Aiden jealous as hell."

"I don't know if I'd go that far…" I dripped some maple syrup on my plate. "Actually I don't think he'd give a rat's ass. If you haven't noticed he kind of has moved on."

"I think he still loves you." 

I was about to take a bite of my beloved pancakes when I saw the look on her face. Cute Kelly, adorable Kelly. Kelly who believed in true love, the joy of popsicles also entirely believed in happy endings. In her heart of hearts believed everyone had a special someone just waiting for them to come along. And I didn't have the heart to tell her the truth. I wasn't exactly pessimistic about love, but it was hard to believe that the love my life is just waiting around the corner for me.

We finished breakfast and everyone 3rd year and above moved along to meet the carriages. I was walking with Kelly when I realized I probably should wait for Malfoy. This would be the perfect time for him to ditch me, but after only twenty seconds of waiting he broke away from his sullen group of friends and stood next to me. Awkward wouldn't cover the definition of us going on a fake first date. We got into the carriage together, accidentally touched shoulders I jumped into a blind panic and moved far away from him. 

"So uh, where do you want to go?" I questioned sticking my hands in my pockets.

"Honeydukes?"

I nodded nervously.

"Are you sick or something?"

"No. Why?"

Malfoy titled his head condescendingly. "Because look like you're ready to propel your body of the carriage at any moment."

"It's tempting, but I'm fine."

"Well then why do you look _so_…twitchy?"

_"Because ferret_," I began cuttingly, "First dates are awkward especially when you're pretending to be on one."

"Maybe for you, but for me they are generally pleasant."

I glanced at his smugness hatefully. "I wouldn't call sticking your tongue down Jade Wilkson's throat for an hour and a half, a date."

"Why not? I paid for dinner." He faked an innocent expression.

"I'm not even dignify that with a response."

* * *

><p>The carriage halted right at the edge of Hosgmede. Malfoy stepped out down first; since he was so tall he didn't need to jump like the rest of us. So he just leaned lazily against the side of the carriage waiting for me. I was prepared to jump when I saw his hand raised to help me down. Hesitating I looked at him uncertainly. Apparently he didn't see what was so strange in the gesture, but then again he didn't realize no guy, my age or older, had ever offered to help me with anything.<p>

"Weasley, move it would you? I'm getting not getting any younger."

"If you use this as a way to throw me into the mud. I will kill you." I shot at him.

He gave me a smirk. "I make no promises." 

Despite my better judgment I took his hand and have regretted ever since. It wasn't just that I took his hand. I wish it was... It was that the moment that his hand touched mine and I felt a shiver of…something. I didn't know what that something was but I did know that it wasn't negative and that scared the shit out of me. Malfoy, fortunately, didn't notice a thing or if he did he chose not comment on it. He simply released my hand and strutted on down the road.

We spent about twenty minutes in Honeydukes, which I deemed a success. My overflowing bag was filled with liquorish wands, Toothflossing Stringmints and my absolute favorite, sugar quills. He didn't say anything, but I could see him sending me looks. I guess none of his dates ever bought their body weight in candy. Next we steered clear of my uncle's shop and went into Spintwitches. Both of us starred in awe at the new Quidditch equipment for a few minutes before forcing ourselves to leave. New Quidditch merchandise and a bag full of gold was always a recipe for bankruptcy.

As we moved along the street I was surprised that as cold as it was there were still puddles on the ground. While I was lost in my own thoughts I followed Malfoy into some restaurant. It wasn't until I was all the way in that I noticed where I was. I tried to make a break for it. I really did. But Malfoy enjoyed my discomfort far too much. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and gave me a wide smirk. 

"Where do you think you're going?"

"What …_the hell_…are we doing here?" I practically growled at him.

"Do you want to make people leave you alone?" He didn't wait for an answer. "Well this is the most ridiculous place but it's where every couple goes. Besides," His smirk grew even bigger. "I know you love this place."

Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop was hell. I'd only been there once before and thankfully my date was just as uncomfortable with all the fluffy pink as I so we left. Malfoy, on the other hand looked perfectly at ease. Then again, I'm sure if this were a real date he would never take me here. He was not the mushy gushy type.

"Oh... Holy... Merlin." I groaned glancing at the hot pink menu. "They seriously have a menu designated just for couples."

"Then we simply must get one!"

I glowered at him. "You are enjoying this far too much."

"Well it's enjoyable to see your face flush that delicate color of crimson. I've always thought you'd eventually get used to being embarrassed and your face would adapt…. I suppose not."

"Did you know," I started furiously, "That Rachel intends to marry you?"

That shut him up. His gray eyes pulsed in fear.

"She said to me that I was the only thing standing in her way from getting you."

"When…When did she say that?" He repeated quietly.

I smiled coyly. "Today when I was in potions. So you might want to be nice to me otherwise she might think she could have a chance with you."

"Fair enough Weasley." 

We finished our separate meals quickly. He had the true love steak and mashed potatoes whereas I had the star-crossed hamburger and french fries. Malfoy said he wanted to go wash his hands before we left so I told him I'd meet him outside. What I didn't expect was that on my way out, as I was buttoning up my coat, that Rachel would rush up next to me and ram me into pit of mud.

At first I was too stunned to do anything, but lie there. Then after I got over the initial shock I started to push myself up off the ground. My new coat was ruined and I felt the mud begin to slide down under my clothes. That wasn't worst of it. The worst was that Rachel was standing above me laughing.

_This stupid bitch_….

Just when I thought I couldn't hate my life any more…Tears of pure unfiltered loathing filled my eyes as Rachel and her friends laughed above me. How could they hate me this much? I'd never done anything to them that warranted this level of deep unfathomable hatred. And out of the fifty people around me that had been walking by or had come out of shops, none of them offered to help me up. Not one. I knew they all didn't especially like me, but this was unspeakable. Just as I pushed myself up I saw the last person I wanted help from, Aiden. His dark eyes beamed sympathy as he held _her_hand. And what did he do? He just stood there! He didn't move or even flinch. I moved to stand when a hand appeared in front of my face. It was Malfoy.

I would have preferred someone to kill me right then and there. Why was he the only one that had heart to help me? Taking a shallow breath I took his hand and he pulled me up onto my feet. 

"Thank you." I breathed.

He nodded and stepped aside politely.

"Weasley you are soooo pathetic. Even Scorpius feels sorry for you!" Rachel shouted. 

I had enough. My body was pulsing with complete and total rage to the point where I was shaking. I took three steps so I was right in front of her. And with mud rolling down my skin, and no dignity left I punched her square in the face.


	4. Consolation Prize

"I don't feel bad." I declared feisty as Malfoy dragged my now clean arm into a carriage.

"Just get in."

I lasted about five minutes without saying anything, which was a feat considering I'd just punched my arch nemesis in the face. Finally once I saw the castle, I broke.

"She completely deserved it. Even _you_," I started defensively, "should understand."

Malfoy said nothing he just faced the opposite way.

I crossed my arms furiously. "I don't even feel bad."

Still nothing.

"Would you please for the love of Merlin talk to me?"

He turned and I finally saw why he couldn't look at me before. Scorpius Malfoy was laughing, apparently at me.

"What?"

"…_The look on her face_."

My face broke out into a wide smirk of pride and his laughter became contagious. For about five minutes we both were bent over crying with amusement. That stopped as soon as the school came into view. He was still going, but suddenly for me it wasn't so funny. I could lose my badge. I could potentially loose the badge I've worked so hard for. Malfoy must have realized this too because he calmed down and took a deep breath.

"Who do you think he'll put in my place?" I asked him in a quiet voice.

He shook his head. "I don't know."

"My parent's are going to kill me…"

"They'll get over it."

I gave him a look. "You don't know my mum. Sure my dad would understand but my mother's sheer intensity of anger would force him to join her side."

"What?"

"When my mum was my age she didn't even get to go back to Hogwarts. She's going to be livid that I made it this far just to loose my position."

He didn't reply and I realized why instantly. I just talked to Malfoy. Like legitimately spoke to him about my own life and didn't …insult him. I shook my head and looked away from him. I clearly was spending way too much time with him. Once we reached the castle he walked with me up to the Headmaster's office.

"He's not going to kick me out isn't he?"

Maybe I looked as panicked as I felt because he stopped in front of the Gargoyles. "Weasley, you'll be fine."

"How can you be sure?"

"Your father did much worse things back when he was in Hogwarts and he got through it."

We climbed up the stairs and he nodded at me as I walked in on my own. Professor Pulcer was standing by his desk reading a letter. His short wispy hair was curled slightly as he glanced up at me.

"Ah, Miss. Weasley. I was wondering when you would show up."

I frowned guiltily. "Sir, I want to start by apologizing-"

"There's no need Miss. Weasley. Mr. Malfoy sent a letter ahead of you."

I stomach knotted up. "And what did it say?"

"That Ms. Levitt physically attacked you and you defended yourself."

"Right," I nodded anxiously, not hearing a word he said. "I'm so sorry it was just the last straw. I've tried ignoring her. I've tried talking to her and she just won't leave me alone and you just can't throw me out!"

"Miss. Weasley! I'm not throwing you out." His face was slightly bemused. "You will of course serve detention but other than that I see no further reason to punish you for defending yourself."

"Wait… _wha-aat?"_

"You may go Miss. Weasley."

I blinked in confusion. "But…Let me get this straight…I punched her in the face and I'm _not_ in trouble?"

"She attacked you first, you turned yourself in and I've been getting several reports that Ms. Levitt has been …"

I muttered, "A raging bitch…" under my breath.

"Bullying students," He finished as if he didn't hear me. "So therefore she will receive a weeks worth of detention. I do not tolerate bullying Ms. Weasley and I won't punish you for defending yourself especially since it's clear you have been trying to be the bigger person. Now off you go. I must go see Professor Longbottom about his Herbology field trip plans."

We left the office and parted ways at the staircase. I pratically ran back to my dormitory where I found Hugo, Albus, Lily, Lauren and Kelly all waiting. Kelly got to me first.

"We heard what happened are you okay?"

Albus wanted to know, "Did he take away your badge?"

Whereas Lily said, "Dude I walked up just as you hit her! You should have seen her face! It was hysterical. If Malfoy didn't drag you away –"

"Woah Woah Woah!" Hugo stopped everybody as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder amusedly. "Now, why don't we let Rose speak?"

"Thank you!" I opened the door, invited them all in and explained everything.

Lily looked beyond proud. "You decked the ice bitch in the face and she get's detention?"

"Yep!"

"Sometimes its painful how charmed your life is." Lauren grinned.

Hugo laughed, "I know right?"

"But why did Malfoy help you?" Albus questioned suddenly from the opposite couch.

I shrugged, "I don't know…He was there. He saw it happen."

"So?" Albus's face looked slight agitated. "Since when does he help you?"

"I'm sorry Albus, but it almost sounds as if you're offended that he helped me." I started snappily.

His thick eyebrows rose. "Well I am."

"Al, you're being ridiculous." Lily snorted.

"No. I don't think I am. Hugo back me up."

Hugo rolled his eyes. "You're on your own there cuz. I don't see what's wrong with Malfoy helping her."

"Is everyone forgetting who he is?" Albus questioned around wildly. "Have you all just stopped thinking clearly?"

"Al. I really think you're being ridiculous-" Lily began steadily.

Albus interrupted his little sister swiftly. "Lily has he ever given you even an inclination that he's not just like the rest of his family?"

"He doesn't need to." I started, my anger rising. "Sure he's an asshole, but he's still a tolerable person!"

My cousin looked appalled. "Rose. You can't be serious!"

"Actually, I am."

We looked at each other, each daring the other to back down. I didn't. Hugo cleared his throat awkwardly. "Well I think we should go. Rose's had a very eventful day."

Hugo and Lily grabbed Albus and forced him out of the room while Lauren and Kelly trailed after them awkwardly. I sank back into the couch furiously. What the hell was Albus's problem? Yes Malfoy was completely jackass sometimes, but Albus acted like he was the resurrection of Satan or something. I shook my head and dropped my neck back onto couch. Many things have changed but one thing remained… My life is fucking ridiculous.

The next morning I climbed out of my bed and changed into a pair of loose jeans and my oversized Weasley sweater. Unlike my father, maroon is my favorite color; so he gave me all his Christmas wear. All the other times I might have to work to find a clean shirt to wear, but not in the winter months thanks to dear old dad. It was Sunday, which was in my opinion the best day of the weekend. On Sundays there were no Hogsmede trips, Quidditch practice or really any drama. Sundays were calm and peaceful. After the year I've had though, even Sunday's were losing their steam.

I tucked my hair behind my ear and went to the window ledge. It was softly raining outside causing an almost rhythmic sound of water splashing against the window. Slumping down on the ledge I starred out the window to the grounds. My eyes floated over to the lake in remorse as old memories resurfaced. This whole situation was just completely messed up. I loved him, I didn't cheat on him, and I was just trying to be honest. Why was I being continually punished for doing the right thing? We weren't happy and it's almost as if everyone is trying to make a point out of it. Like I should have still held onto him even though we weren't happy or something.

Crossing my arms over my chest, I felt a certain unwavering bitterness creep over me. I hated this feeling of worthlessness. My whole life I'd always at least tried to treat others the way I'd like to be treated. I would never have let Aiden become a social pariah and let the whole school treat him like shit if the roles were reversed. Then again, I also wouldn't have replaced my boyfriend within a week of our break up. I, unlike him, meant what I said in our relationship. I didn't lie when I said I loved him. I didn't lie when I said he was important to me. Clearly that opinion wasn't mutual.

To him I was about as replaceable as toilet paper. He didn't even try and help me up. What a fucking asshole.

I think what hurt the most was that the guy that stood there holding another girl's hand as I was in mortal pain, a part of me still loved him. Not that version of him obviously but the him I first met. The guy that opened doors for me. The guy that shared his french fries with me. The guy was always there for me when it felt like no one else in the world was. The guy …that loved me.

I was so immersed in the past I didn't notice Delilah knocking on my door until she walked in front of me. Her bright blonde hair was piled up on her head as she starred down at me.

"You okay?"

I nodded and forced my self up to my feet avoiding her face "Yeah…what's up?"

"You said you'd help me with Charms….You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah." I sighed, "Let's go in the common room."

We were almost all the way done with her homework when Delilah demanded a break. "Rose, can I ask you a question?"

I rolled over onto the floor. "Shoot."

"Did you have sex with Aiden?"

"Why? Are you thinking of having sex?"

She rolled her eyes. "No. I'm just curious."

"Yes. I did."

Her face twisted in thought. "Do you regret that now?"

I let out a little whimper of annoyance and frowned thoughtfully. "…No."

"Why not?"

I starred at the black carpet centimeters from my face. "Because, when we reached that point in our relationship I completely trusted him and was in love with him."

"Oh…" She starred at me for a minute. "Can I ask you one more question?"

"Is it related to Charms?"

Delilah smiled, "No."

"Ugh…" I groaned but shrugged, "Fine, but after we need to get back to Charms soon."

"What would you recommend I look for in a guy?"

That was the opposite of what I was expecting. So it took me longer than a minute to answer. "Um…well what you mean? Like personality? Morals? Looks?"

"All of it." Delilah declared anxiously, "I've seen my sister date a lot of losers and I like her current boyfriend, but Lauren's taste changes on her mood and …well you've always seem to have a good idea of what's right."

"I have?" My eyebrows rose in surprise. "I always feel like a hot mess…Well um what kind of man do you mean? Like what man should you go for practically?"

She shrugged. "Yeah."

"Ugh…Okay well I guess personally for physically my only big requirement is that they have to be taller than me and since you are five foot ten I'm sure you agree. Um…I don't know what else to say for physically because it's mostly made up of personal preference. Like I hate guys who wear necklaces and bracelets, I think it's extremely feminine but you might not-"

"Well then just tell me what your preferences."

I pushed myself up to a sitting position pensively. "Um, well I hate when guys try and gel their hair…or when they have unnecessary facial hair. Scruff is fine on the right guy but it looks awful on most guys... I don't know I have weird things I'm picky about looks wise... Personality wise I would like a guy that has his own opinion, a guy that would stand up for me, but also wouldn't let me walk all over him. And also he has to have a good sense of humor. Other than that…"

"Okay…Now where do I find that guy?"

A loud snort sounded in my nose. "Yeah well for that you'll need Kelly's help. She's the match maker….Go see her at lunch and she can set you up."

"Thanks Rose."

"Of course."

We spent a few more minutes going over her charms homework and before I knew it I was ushering her out the door. It was funny. Delilah and Lauren looked just alike, they were both tall, willowy with suffer blonde hair but personality they were so different. Lauren loved her boyfriend but not…in a real way. Like she loves him, but she doesn't fully trust him. Every time he might possibly be doing something remotely wrong she tenses up and investigates the problem. She rarely finds out anything of note but she also never takes it as a sign to trust him either. Delilah on the other hand is a hopeless romantic. I've caught her reading those sappy romance novels quite a few times and I'm happy that she's not as bitter as her sister or as ridiculous as the people in those novels.

When I spun around though I was surprised to find Malfoy sitting at the bottom of the staircase. "Still here?" He asked dryly.

"Well I couldn't leave you here all by yourself. How can you be all brooding and mysterious if they have no one to compare you to?"

"Rounds is in an hour. Are you sure you're up for it?" His voice turned condescending naturally I know that given your emotional state you might go postal and murder Filch."

I glared at him. "Well you might want to watch it because if you cross me I might take you out next."

"I would love to see you try Weasley. What are you going to do bewitch me in a bat?"

"No," I grinned at him forcibly, "I think I'll turn you into a ferret, it fits you more."

This could have gone on for hours as it normally did and would have ended with one of us making a below the belt comment but today it didn't because there was a loud knock on the portrait hold interrupting our squabble.

"Are you expecting someone?" I asked confusedly.

He shook his head and went to open the door. At the door there was a man that was the very picture of tall, dark and handsome, or as he was more commonly known as Logan. Malfoy crossed his lean arms superiorly. "Yes?"

"I'm looking for Rose."

Now it was my turn to look surprised. "Me?"

"I would like to speak to you …alone."

Malfoy snorted. "No problem…"

Once Malfoy was gone I starred at Logan curiously. Though we were in the same year and even the same house we had never really a reason to speak that often. We ran with different circles. I was a hybrid of a jock nerd whereas he hung out with all the slackers. This made me beg the question why the hell was he looking for me?

"So…What's up?" I drawled slowly.

"I'm going to be perfectly honest with you."

"That's a nice change."

He smirked, revealing a cute smile in its wake. "Rachel paid me a visit today."

"Oh god…What did she want?"

"She paid me to take you out-"

My jaw dropped in anger. "And you said yes?"

"Yes…but not because of that!" He answered quickly, "I mean I just figured it would be nice to go out with you."

"What?" I was completely taken aback. "Why?"

He let out a snort of a laugh. "Is that so surprising?"

"No but," I cut myself off, "What is the deal with Rachel?"

"I just have to take you out and keep you away from Malfoy. So I figured we could use the money to splurge on a ridiculously expensive date and have some fun."

I blinked up at him. "So we'd go a date or two…and she'd pay for it?"

"Yep."

"But why would you want to do this?"

Logan frowned. "She was pretty persistent and I figured it wouldn't be to bad. So what do you say? Want to hang out with me?"

I couldn't explain why, but I hesitated. Here was this great guy, who was called a hunk by many women, standing in my common room, asking me to go out with him at my arch nemesis expense. And something was holding me back. But what was stopping me? I thought about it and realized that absolutely nothing was standing in my way. Except me.

"Sure."

He flashed me a smile. "Well I will see you tomorrow."

I nodded and watched as he walked out the door.

Sitting back on the couch I felt tears roll down my face. It didn't make any sense but I'd never been unhappier. I didn't want to date Logan even for just pretend. The whole thing felt so…forced. How did Aiden do it? Just throw himself into a relationship without any thoughts to his own heart?

My heart was so battered I doubted that given the chance I would fall for Logan. I wasn't in the mood for some half-assed arrangement. It would just be better to be alone then to have to constantly put on a face to the world.

I laughed to myself and wiped my face. What was wrong with me? I was going on a date with one of Hogwarts most eligible bachelors and I'm crying because it doesn't mean anything. There were people in third world countries who don't have food, shelter or families. In the large scheme of things my life wasn't nearly that bad at all. I just needed to get over myself. This wasn't a big enough problem to get worked up over. Checking my watch I was surprised to see that it was almost time for rounds.

Changing into my uniform was a small ordeal. Somehow I think my body knew how comfortable I was in my muggle wear and used this, as an excuse to make my uniform not fit as well as it should. When I went downstairs I saw Malfoy waiting by the end of my staircase. He looked less put together than usual, which struck me as odd.

"What happened to you?"

His jaw went rigid. "Can we just get on with this?"

"Fine." I raised my hands defensively.

We didn't speak for a long time, which for us was a feet. Normally we bickered about something or another, but tonight Malfoy seemed to prefer brooding silently to insulting me. I didn't really mind. This silence worked well with my melancholy mood. It gave me time to revel in my teenage angst. Years from now I'll be sitting in my one bedroom, run down flat alone thinking of how good I had it now.

Malfoy eventually got tired of the quietness and gave me a sideways glare. "So what did that kid want?"

"That kid? Oh Logan, Rachel paid him to ask me out."

A crinkle formed in his forehead as scrunched his face up in confusion. "Why?"

"To keep me away from you."

"Oh fuck!" He groaned angrily.

I nodded with a smirk, "Yes. So he asked me out."

"Wait a minute." He spun around regally with his nose in the air. "You are meaning to tell me that he straight up tells you that he's being paid to ask you out and you still said yes?"

"I know. I just figured it would be…I don't know." I admitted regretfully. "I honestly have no fucking clue what I'm doing anymore..." When I glanced up my jaw dropped. What was I doing? I never tell anyone about my personal life let alone Malfoy.

"I mean," I started feebly but he cut me off.

"That's really pathetic that you can't go a day without a boyfriend." He told me bluntly.

My eyes narrowed dangerously. "I don't need a boyfriend! I never have! He came to me and said, 'Hey do you want to go out? I know it's weird that she's paying for it but think of how great it will be to spend her money and get to know each other.' Which sounds pretty honest to me considering I have no other plans next weekend and why shouldn't I go hang out with him?"

"That's an interesting spin on it." He cackled vindictively.

"Miserable rodent…" I muttered under my breath hatefully. "You just have to hate on everything don't you?"

Malfoy's gray eyes squinted down at me, "I don't hate on everything. I just think you are acting like a whinny 14-year-old girl. 'Oh poor me! I dumped my boyfriend and now he has the audacity to find someone else!' It's ridiculous. What did you expect him to do? Wait around on a white horse for the day you decide he's worthy of you?"

"You self righteous son of a bitch!" I whispered furiously, "You have no idea what the hell you are talking about!

"Oh I don't?"

My lip curled in anger. "No. You don't." I took a violent step from him so I was only a few inches away from him. "The only person you've ever been in love with is yourself! He was my best friend. I've been in love with him for two years. And for that entire time he told me that I was the only person he ever wanted to be with. He told me that if I died, if we broke up or if anything happened to us he would still be there for me and love me even if he couldn't be with me."

"All guys say that."

"I know that." I spat at him bitterly. "But when I said I loved him," I stepped back emotionally, "_I meant it."_

His perfectly structured face tilted at me. "Then why did you break up with him?"

"Because it wasn't working and we were going in two different directions. I was trying to do the right thing. Obviously that backfired."

"Clearly."

I glowered at him, shook my head and started moving again. "I wouldn't expect you to understand."

"Because I'm just so evil." He drawled sarcastically.

"No, you have a heart you just have no idea how to use it."

This astounded him, I could tell because as I continued on down the hall he didn't follow me at first. Normally he would be right on my tail with a snappy retort ready to go. This time though he seemed to be unable to find a worthy response to what I said…yet.

He scoffed loudly, before falling into step with me. "What kind of insult is that?"

"It's not an insult it's the truth. You have it in you to be a good person all the time but you're just trapped in the body of an asshole."

"Are you insulting my family-?"

I shook my head immediately, my thoughts processing slowly. "No it's not their fault you're this way. See you know what's the right thing to do you just can't seem to do it. You proved when you helped me up when no one else would and when you stood up for me at the meeting. You could be a good person, but you just can't seem to commit to the idea."

"Weasley." He rolled his eyes dryly, "I think there is something wrong with you.


	5. Hold On

I remember when I first found out how many free periods I would have my seventh year. It was a blissful, blissful day. But when I actually got here I realized that there was nothing blissful about it. Every minute I'm not in class I spend; planning programs for the school, making prefect schedules, finishing my mountains of homework, Quidditch training and everything else I can cram into my free time. Lauren's actually specified one day a week to let me bitch about how stressed I am. Apparently if she didn't do then I would simply rant forever.

Normally, I would have this session on Monday's during breakfast, but today Lauren was sick. So instead of taking my frustrations out on helpless bystanders, I ate quickly and dashed off to the library. No matter what was going on in my social life, there was always one place of total salvation: the library.

See my way of achieving the glory of isolation is different than everyone else's. Most people sit in front of the history of magic section, thinking that no one would go there. The problem with that is it's extremely visible and if you are trying to achieve solitude that privacy can be easily breached. Now my method is, I sit in the back behind the shelves on ancient runes in the farthest corner, because no one who takes that class ever bothers coming back there.

I pulled out my books, ink, parchment and planner irritably. Stupid Lauren and her stupid runny nose. Who am I supposed to vent with now? Kelly? Kelly's worthless when it comes to ranting. She wants to see the good in everybody and honestly at the end of the day who really wants to do hear that shit? You want someone in your corner, understanding your arguments and hating the person/place/subject/situation just as hard as you are. Not someone who is trying to be reasonable and see both sides! No! They are supposed to be completely loyal to you and utterly devoted to your bitter opinion. And if you run out of words to say they are supposed to pull out some ridiculous metaphor about a walrus or humpback whale to make you feel better. That's a good rant buddy. That's someone to keep in your all star line up. Fuck Lauren's cold. Who the hell gets a cold in January anyway? That's so overdone.

Sighing, overdramatically I snapped open my planner to see what hell I had to deal with today.

+Finish ministry application

+Write Defense essay

+Talk to Headmaster about Eliza Bennett

+Ask Albus when the next practice is

+Talk to Eleanor about Kelly's birthday party

+Finish supply of sugar quills, so you will have excuse to get more next weekend at Hogsmede.

Lowering my head down on the table, I drummed my head on the surface a few times before pausing. A hand lightly tapped my shoulder, forcing me to roll sideways and see who could have interrupted my pre-studying. Of course it was just Malfoy.

"What?" I groaned, my voice cracking attractively.

He of course was fully awake and on top of his shit. Jack ass. "Well good morning to you too Weasley."

"What do you want Malfoy?" I snapped instantly. "I'm not really in the mood to school your ass in a battle of wits today. So kindly slink back into the hole you crawled out of."

"Fine." He twisted around and stepped away.

I rolled my eyes and grabbed his arm. "What do you want?" I repeated more softly this time.

"One, your boyfriend Logan is looking for you. Two," He smirked, "It's your week to watch over detentions."

"What? That is complete bullshit," I ripped my planner of the table and shoved it in his face. "Look what it says!"

He pretentiously pretended to read it. "You need to get your legs waxed?"

"No you wanker! The one across the whole thing!"

"'No detentions this week.' And? You miswrote the week."

My eyes narrowed up at him with venom I reserved only for his Aryan ass. "No. I didn't. We scheduled this months ago you demented ferret."

His face tightened with a hint of annoyance. "Yes, we did, but last month you agreed to switch weeks with me."

I wanted him to be wrong. In the deepest pit of my bones I wanted him to be wrong, but as usual he wasn't. I vaguely remembered the conversation and there was no way in hell I was going to admit it.

"Isn't there some other place you should be? Like …anywhere else."

"Good come back Weasley. You know, your resemblance to a saber tooth tiger right now is startling." He grinned, snobbishly leaning back against the bookshelf behind him.

I pushed myself up to my feet and crossed my arms furiously. "One of these days, I'm going to use that olive and silver tie to strangle you."

"With what? Your little t-rex arms?"

"Yep." I retorted firmly.

He surveyed the situation but eventually decided to move along. I didn't see him again for another three days when I was heading to defense.

A lot and nothing at all had changed in those three days. It started out awkwardly, with me just trying to get used to Logan. He assumed the role of male-friend-man quickly. If I didn't know any better I would think that we'd been dating for a while. You know if I wasn't actually involved in the situation.

I was just so tired of caring and trying. Fuck it. There were so many other things that I could spend my time worrying about. And more importantly I'd grown to see there's no point in dating someone or being with someone in general. I'm not even being bitter. I just honestly don't see what the point is anymore. If you need sex go have a one-night stand. If you want a date ask a friend. If you want love read a romance novel. Anything else is just not worth it.

Logan was adorable with his wistful black hair and dimpled smile. He caught up with me and was talking to me about this band he had heard about. He was so easygoing and effortlessly happy. It was just so simple and undemanding.

"Do you like Fusion Patronum?"

No. I didn't. "They're alright." I shrugged noncommittally.

"Well…" He continued excitedly, his brown eyes lit up with intensity.

I felt bad, but honestly I did not listen. My whole existence was worn out. I was just plain sick of this. Logan was holding my hand. Logan was talking to me about his interests. Logan was there, but I honestly could care less. He was attractive. He was smart. He was funny. But you know what I wasn't missing. Logan didn't truly want to date me. Sure once a bottom feeder suggested it he was all on board but let's think about before that. Back when he was in most of my classes and sat a few people away from me at lunch. The great thing was no one really noticed and …they all stopped caring.

For weeks all I heard was my own names coming out of other peoples mouths and this was all it really took. Some guy, holding my hand for people to leave me alone. It was so simple. I never had to talk, think or even do anything. I finally get what it's like to be 1950's housewife and you know what? I see the appeal. You just do your job. You get up every morning, look pretty, do the laundry, make the dinner, do the dishes and call it a day. There's no drama. There's just a purpose.

Kelly was waiting for me patiently. So I turned, let Logan kiss me and sat down. "Hey."

"You look weird...like sort of_ deranged_. Your face as no emotion."

"Isn't it great?" I smiled weakly. "I can just nod and let him hold my hand and I receive peace."

Her long eyelashes fluttered confusedly. "So you just…exist?"

"Pretty much."

"Well," Kelly frowned, "Explain that."

I leaned against the table thoughtfully. "What do you mean?"

"How can you merely exist? You are one of the most passionate people I know how can you just not care?"

"It quite straightforward really." I started hollowly, my voice dropping in sound. "I can't stand caring anymore. I have a million things going on with my life, but when I'm alone. I don't think about any of it. All I can do is be…heartbroken. And I'm just…tired. I'm tired of letting it bother me so much okay?"

Kelly eyed me sensitively. "Have you stopped crying yourself to sleep?"

I looked up at her stunned. "How did you-?"

"Rose, _I've been best friends with you since we were five." _

Sometimes, I hated how well she knew me. I gave in a little. "They leave me alone. So I can mourn in peace. No one talks about me. No one bothers me. I can just rot in-"

"If you say peace one more time, I'm going to shoot you in the face." Lauren interjected nasally from the seat next to Kelly.

I let out a choked laugh. "Glad to hear you're living Lauren."

Kelly frowned. "Way to detract from the point."

"Let's move on." I mumbled as our teacher began to hand out our mind terms.

Halfway through class I began to notice Malfoy. He was in all of my classes, but normally the classes were so crowded I didn't come across him. Today, he stood out to me for some reason. It was funny, but when he wasn't sneering or insulting me he looked quite proper. His uniform was always neat as if he took a ruler to all of his clothes to make sure it lined up straight. He was absentmindedly fiddling with his paper in his right hand while taking notes with his left. The paper he was playing with was delicately folded into this perfect little shape before I could stop myself a little smile came on my lips.

"I think I'm going to throw myself off the astronomy tower." Lauren declared carelessly as we left class. Her face was full of bitterness. "I can't believe I studied for twenty minutes for that damn exam and only got an E!"

Kelly turned, her face tight and her eyebrows crunched together in resentment. "_Sometimes_…I just want to just slap you in the throat."

I howled with laughter as they began bickering in the hallway. This was only interrupted when a new strand of gossip hit their ears in the great hall. Kelly nudged me gently. "Rose, look."

"I really don't care if Olive has her shirt tucked into her skirt. Someone will eventually tell her." I shook her off but just as I was about to return to my grilled cheese

Lauren yanked my arm and forced me turn. "No, seriously look."

The instant my eyes saw what she was dragging me to see a reluctant smile planted itself on my face. Rachel was sitting next to Malfoy, and he seemed to be trying to ignore her. Trying being the operative word since she was about six inches from his face with her claws digging into his sleeve. I spun around and went back to my food.

"That sucks."

Across the table Lily gave me a speculative look. "You okay?"

"Yep." I replied in a monotone. "I'm fine."

For the rest of lunch Lily and everyone else left me alone. Though I still saw her giving me looks, but she didn't say anything. I was glad. Upon leaving the great hall I shifted in the direction of the library became aware that Malfoy was tailing me. My eyebrows rose as I starred at his irritated face.

"Is there a reason you are following me Malfoy?"

His hand seized my upper arm as he dragged me into an empty classroom. "I need to talk to you."

"About what? We already went over the schedule for next week." I blinked up at him confusedly. "So what could you possibly have to talk to me about?"

"Rachel is driving me insane."

"That sounds like a personal problem Malfoy."

He set me with a hateful glower. "Weasley, she is stalking me! Everywhere I go, she's there! I checked to see if she stuck a tracking device on me or something. She didn't she's just creepy!"

I leaned back on the table behind me. "Well how do you expect me to help you? I can't do anything about it unless she threatens you and even then all I can do is get a teacher to talk to her."

"I need you…" Malfoy's gaze starred away from me before he mumbled something incoherent.

"I honestly have no idea what you just said."

His grey eyes turned onto me bluntly. "I said, I need you to date me."

"I would love to," I began to dryly, "But I'm sort of dating someone."

"I think he'll get over it since the only reason he's doing it is for the gallons."

"Oh? And your intentions are what? Noble?"

Malfoy shrugged, "At least you know I'm not lying to you."

"Why me?" I snorted rudely, "There are hundreds of sad souls here who would love to be your fake girlfriend."

"She's afraid of you."

"What?"

He gave an exasperated sigh. "Come on Weasley. I'm asking nicely here."

"I understand that Malfoy, but I really can't help you. I already have a fake boyfriend."

"You can't get out of it?"

"No and why would I want to? Honestly when I date Logan no one cares and they leave me alone. When went on one phony date with you I was propelled in a lake of mud. Notice the difference?"

His mouth opened to respond but I shook my head.

"I'm sorry Scorpius, but I can't help you."

I'd thought that would be the end of it, but it wasn't. Not even close. After I got through most of my work I stumbled to defense hours later. Every other day Albus sat next to me, but he seemed to still a little annoyed from our spat last week so he sat next to Tony Lee in the back. Leaving the seat next to me open for Malfoy to sit next to me.

"What are you-?"

His face was positively calm. "I'm going to wear you down."

I banged my head on my desk. "Malfoy, bugger off. No means no."

"I don't think you _quite_ understand the seriousness of the situation."

"I don't think _you_ understand _how close_ I am to _killing you_!"

He frowned. "Weasley…I found her sniffing my underwear."

"What?"

"I went into my room to get my books…and I found her in there going through my drawers and smelling them."

My jaw dropped in horror. "You must be joking…She isn't…that…_Oh god_."

"You have to help me."

"I would if I could Malfoy, but I already explained the problem to you!"

Professor Smith strutted in, her prominent thick glasses high up on her nose as she moved like a duck with swag. She silenced the class with a withering stare.

"Today you shall break into the pairs you sit with and quiz each other on the study guides that are on your desks. After you finish everything on the list you may leave, but be warned I will know if you haven't completed all the spells."

Then with a swish of her indigo cloak she sat behind her desk. I glanced at Malfoy and saw that obnoxious smirk of his practically embedded on his face. Sometimes…I think he just needs a high five, in the face, with a tree.

"What spell would you like to start with?"

I let out a loud sigh. "Agglomero." A blast of wind sprouted out of my wand knocking him across the row and on his ass.

He dusted himself off and strutted arrogantly back over to his seat. "Nice, Weasley."

"Anytime."

For the rest of class he said nothing about Rachel, but it was clear that he wasn't letting the subject drop. My mind was other places. I really didn't want to give in to Malfoy. His concern was understandable, Rachel was a freak, but why was I always the one that has to fix this? This wasn't my problem. I had my own problem. As soon as Smith dismissed us I bolted out of the room. I ran so fast I nearly ran Logan over.

"Sorry Logan-"

"Can I talk to you?"

I paused, "Yeah."

His face looked pained and I frowned. He wanted to date somebody else. It was written all over his face and I couldn't even get mad. It was reasonable for him to want something else, but I didn't want him to leave. This was so easy. This was simple.

"So…I'm really sorry, but-"

"You want to break up."

Shock flew onto his face. "How did you… Are you mad?"

I shook my head. "No. Who do you want to date though?"

A deep blush crept onto his face. "Taylor."

"Aw, you two would look cute together." I smiled sincerely.

"Thanks Rose. I really appreciate it."

We hugged and I smiled at him. "What are you going to do about Rachel though?"

"Since we didn't ever spend the money…I'll just give it back to her."

"Can you do me a favor and wait till tomorrow to do everything?" I asked sadly. "I want one last night of solitude before she comes after me."

He grinned. "I get it…I have to think of how to ask Taylor out anyway."

"Well if you need any help…"

"Would like to go to dinner and discuss it?"

I linked arms with him. "Sure!"

"So," I declared a half hour later as I polished off my milk. "You will first send her a cutesy note and then you will see her response and act on it."

He cackled under his breath. "You would be a good match maker Rose."

"Thanks, but I just have fantastic problem solving skills."

"I just can see why you were picked as Head Girl."

I nodded at him gratefully. "Thank you! I often feel overwhelmed like I'm fucking up all the time."

"You aren't…Is it weird that I'm nervous?"

"For tomorrow?"

He gave a sheepish nod. "I've like girls and I didn't mind snogging you…She just is different."

"Aww!" I faked swooned.

"Sod off Weasley. What are you going to do about Rachel? She's going to be after you as soon as she finds out you're off the leash."

I snorted with laughter. "_Off the leash? _Don't mean off the hook?"

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah I do and I'm just going to let it hit me like a sunburn." I grabbed my stuff as we stood up to leave. "I've tried sun block, I've tried using one of those damn hats and nothing works. At the end of the day I'm still going to be welting in pain."

Logan gave me a pitiful look as we moved into the hallway. "You are a strange little ginger."

"Thanks."

We stopped outside my door and shared a brief hug. "Good luck tomorrow." I told him with a smile.

"You too."

Crawling up the stairs to my room I felt my eyes get heavier and heavier. I didn't even bother to change. Dropping my bag to the floor, I collapsed onto my mattresses and instantly fell unconscious.


	6. Skyscraper

Planning your whole future is great in theory. You sit down in a comfy chair. You get out your most trusty quill and you make a glorious list. A list that you would be proud to show your future children because they know you have accomplished all those goals. The problem with this is; what if everything you plan falls through?

Until June 1st my whole future is at a stand still.

First thing this morning, I packed on my winter gear and hiked up the Owlery. I had seventeen applications that needed to be sent to five different departments immediately. It took about ten minutes for me to securely tie the envelopes to three different Owls. When I sent them off I sat on the steps of the Owlery, anxiously watching the applications grow farther and farther out of my control.

All my life I was excited for my future. I couldn't wait to be in the ministry and start to make my mark on the world. I just hated the thought of waiting for something that could never come true.

If I didn't have to go to Potions I would never have left. The Owlery was cold and in no way comforting, but at least I didn't have to be around other people.

Albus had once again decided to sit next to someone else during Potions. I wanted to storm over to him and tell him to grow up, but I didn't feel like wasting the energy. He wasn't the type of person to get over something easily and I wasn't in the mood to kiss his ass. If he wanted to be angry fine. He could seethe by himself. I didn't do anything wrong. Sitting up front, I laid my head on my arms and closed my eyes. Maybe if I fell asleep I could wake up on June 1st. Kelly's birthday will have gone off without a hitch. Albus will have gotten over his hissy fit. Victoree's wedding will have passed. And I will know whether I will be unemployed for the rest of my life. Oh how I wish it were June 1st.

"Weasley."

Especially now. "Bugger off Malfoy."

"Now is that anyway to greet me?"

"Actually." I started bitterly, "I think it's _precisely_ the way I should greet you."

He leaned over the table, unintentionally flexing his arm muscles. "Come on Weasley. Can't you just do me this one simple favor?"

"It's anything, but simple Malfoy."

"Seriously Weasley why won't you help me?" His tone turned curious to serious.

I shook my head at him. How could he not understand? "I'm not doing this to insult you. I'm doing this because I simply don't want to play stupid little games anymore."

"You're done with whining about how unfair your life is then?"

"For now." I spat at him. "Why can't you just go bother someone else?"

He sighed, "Because you are the one person that she's afraid of. Didn't we go over this yesterday?"

"Yes we did Malfoy and clearly you missed the entire point." I lowered my voice as the professor began to teach. "Just ask someone else!"

"Look, I'm not going to do it so what is going to just get on board?"

I didn't answer him. In fact for the rest of class I successfully ignored him. Oh he tried to get me to crack, but I never gave in. Not when we were paired together. Not even when he spilled the potion on me, ruining my robes. Malfoy wasn't going to get it. So I figured maybe if I just ignored him he would just take the anvil-sized hint and move on. It didn't work. All it did was make him angry which was refreshing to see for a change. He was always the collected and cool one. It was nice to see him sweat for once.

When I gathered my things for class I hoped he would give up and leave me alone. As usual I'm not that lucky. His long legs propelled him after me and he never lost me for a minute in the crowded halls.

"I'm not leaving you alone until you at the very least answer my question."

I rubbed my temples irritably. "What question?"

"What is going to take," He steered around a group of oddly rowdy first years. "For you to agree to this."

"I don't want anything Malfoy."

"Nonsense. Everybody wants something."

The lie was ready on my tongue. "Not me. I'm perfectly fine. Now if you'll excuse me-" I tried to side step him, but he put his arm out to stop me.

"Try me."

"Excuse me?"

He folded his arms and leaned against the staircase railing. "If I can't do what you want then I will leave you alone."

I eyed him skeptically. "For eternity?"

"Try me." Malfoy repeated calmly.

"I don't want anything-"

He stopped me again, his eyes softening. "Come on."

"Fine. You know why I won't do what you're asking? Because I want to be in love. I want a guy to like me and for me to like him back. I want the big sweeping declaration of love in a crowd full of people." I glanced up at him coldly. "No offense Malfoy, but this is a little out of your range."

This time he didn't stop me.

Moving through the crowd I halted when I saw Lauren. "Hey."

"What took you so long?"

"Malfoy." I sighed exhaustedly. "He has the resilience of timber wolf."

She rolled her eyes. "Well come on then. We have to set it up before you go to your next class."

The Gryffindor Common room was filled with streamers, happy birthday banners and all kinds of festive decorations. We set up a table for presents, drinks, cake and music. After a half hour of swearing criticism at each other Lauren and I hadn't done too shabby of a job.

"What did you get her anyway?" I asked as we fell back onto the sofa.

Lauren smirked. "A karma sutra book."

I gaped at her. "No you didn't!"

"It's about time she knows where everything goes."

"You got her the fuzzy handcuffs too didn't you?"

Her grin grew. "The pink ones."

"You are a sick, sick person."

"And you are going to be late for Herbology."

I groaned into the sofa. "Fuckkkkk."

"You could ditch."

"Yeah because I would really keep my Head Girl position if I ditched the same month I punched a girl in the face."

Lauren shrugged. "I still say it was worth it."

"As do I, which is why I must head to class." I slung my bag over my shoulder, "Make sure Eleanor keeps Kelly away from here."

"Got it captain." She saluted me as I left.

The minute I left the hall I saw Albus standing outside of the portrait hole waiting for me. He fell into step with me easily. "So I've decided to forgive you."

"Oh how gracious of you." I drawled darkly.

"It was one of my finer moments."

"Now that you've gotten over yourself when is Quidditch starting back up?"

He ran a hand through his messy hair. "Next week. I'm fighting with Malfoy about using the field."

"Huh. Well keep me posted."

"Oh and speaking of things to keep you posted about Rachel was asking where you were earlier."

My fist balled up as we turned down a staircase. "Did she not get a clue when I punched her? I'm this close to beating her ass."

"I would love to see you in a fight."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I glowered at him.

"Rose, I love you. You know you're my favorite cousin, but at the end of the day you follow the rules."

I was about to retort something cutting when I saw a large mass of people outside the Great Hall. Albus and I shared looks before pushing through to the front.

"Alright break it up! Everybody move along-" The words died on my tongue as I caught sight of Malfoy and Rachel.

Rachel was attempting to jump him and he was doing everything in his power to defend himself without hurting her. She was screaming about something, but I don't know what it was. I was about to intervene when Malfoy broke away from her and came towards me.

"Malfoy what's-" I began, but never finished.

Then, without a word his hands wrapped around the back of my waist. At first I thought he was going to just hug me, but what he did do was much more traumatizing. He picked me up and in front of at least a hundred people he kissed me.

A moment prior I felt nothing. My body was cold from the winter chill, but that was all I felt. The second his lips touched mine a shiver of pleasure ran down my spine. Everything that could cling to him clung as he pulled my closer. It was like he knew precisely how to set off every neuron in my body with minimum effort. I never knew kissing could be this…electric. I knew from the second our skin touched he only intended for a brief kiss. He just wanted her to leave him alone. The reason behind the kiss wasn't because he liked me. But then drastically it changed. It transformed into this thrilling charge. This jolt of energy that made him hold me tighter and forced my arms around his neck.

When our faces separated a gasp escaped my lips as both our faces displayed perfect shock. We both were breathing heavier than normal and I felt his heart beating just as hard as mine. Then, gently, he put me down and retracted his arms from my waist. Neither of us looked at each other as we both were at a profound loss for explanation. My eyes caught onto Rachel's enraged face, but it took longer than it should have for my mind to snap back into focus. Her five-inch stilettos punctured the floors face as she stormed over to us. I was still slightly dazed from the unexpected kiss, but the closer she got to me the more I began to give into Scorpius's idea.

"You!" She snarled hatefully. "You stupid bitch! _How could you_? You were supposed to be dating Logan!"

"Logan and I agreed we had zero chemistry but thank you for paying for my new batch of sugar quills."

Her icy eyes narrowed on Scorpius. "And you! How could you-?"

I inhaled remorsefully before moving front of Scorpius. I was so going to regret this. "As you just saw we can't hide our relationship anymore Rachel."

"You're…_what?_"

"You heard me."

She glowered at me, "I'm going to get you for this Weasley. I'm not going to play nice with you anymore."

There is a moment in everybody's life when they have to make a choice. Maybe it was taking up a new hobby. Maybe it was taking a summer job instead of playing a sport. But I've always wondered if it was really a choice what happened next or was it fate?

It's easy to say everything's up to chance, but I've always hated the thought of some all-powerful being in control of my fate. But at the end of your life there is a place you can look back and see the point where everything started. The point where you made your biggest mistake. The point where you took the biggest risk. For me I would have always thought it would be getting a job at the ministry, saving someone's life or helping discover the cure for Levee Itch. Oddly for me it was this moment.

Puffing out my chest, I set my jaw and starred her down. "Are you threatening me Levitt?"

"What if I am?"

"Then Me and my-" _Merlin I was going to regret this_. "…Boyfriend will go to the Headmaster and report you."

I've never seen so many jaws drop at once. Mine was included when Malfoy moved next to me and put his arm around my shoulder stiffly. I felt like throwing myself of a very short cliff. Weird was when your grandma listens to the same music you do. Strange is when your mother randomly dyes her hair pink. This was fucked up. Scorpius Malfoy hand was on MY shoulder. I just told the entire school that he was my boyfriend. Holy god. Before I could even second-guess my impulsive decision Rachel let out a shriek and run through us so we were knocked a part.

"Alright everybody shows over!" I announced loudly, "Get to class!"

I looked around for Albus, but didn't see him anywhere. It didn't take a genius to know I'd hear about this for a week, but that wasn't the biggest problem on my mind. The bigger problem was that Malfoy was still standing next to me, starring at me. What the hell was I supposed to say to him? Hey thanks for the make out session but don't worry about the whole school thinking we are dating it's cool? Besides I couldn't exactly bolt to Herbology. Now I was late and there were too many people still trying to get through the corridor so I couldn't even run back to my dorm. I was stuck with Malfoy, literally and metaphorically. So I just decided to deal with it. It meaning him.

I grabbed his unnervingly muscular forearm and dragged him into a broom closet the opposite way of the mass of people. Slamming the door I backed away from him and crossed my arms. At first it was hard to look at him. My body was still tingling from him kissing me and that disgusted the hell out of me. Maybe I could make a joke out of this. He had to be just as freaked out as I. What a minute what was I thinking? Malfoy felt nothing when we kissed. He probably was logical and saw it as a reasonable step. I was the idiot that told him exactly what it would take to get me to agree to his plan. Sighing I sucked it up and broke the awkward tension.

"Well…We've really fucked up."

He leaned back against the woodened wall and tilted his head in thought. "We? There's no we. I didn't fuck up. This was the exact plan I told you. I intended for this to happen. I am surprised that you didn't slap me when I kissed you."

I couldn't look at him, suddenly the already claustrophobic room felt smaller. "Since there's no turning back now we should discuss terms."

"Terms?"

"How long are we going to do this? What is comfortable what isn't….Things like that."

He subconscious licked his bottom lip. "Until she gives up or the school years over-"

"That six months!" I cut him off in disbelief.

"Don't be overdramatic. It's January 24th. Graduation is June 17th."

"Do you hear yourself?"

Malfoy let out a shallow laugh. "What do you have something better to do? Haven't you been complaining about how you wanted everyone to leave you alone?"

"And you think this helps?" I shouted at him incredulously. "Now I'll never be left alone!"

"Get over it!" He scoffed, his cheeks tinting pink in anger. "Seriously why do you care so much what other people think about you?"

It was my turn to scoff. "Because you don't? Please! You strut around this place like you're Jesus! You would be livid if people treated you the way they treat me!"

"I'm sure I can handle it."

"You know what though?" A smile popped onto my face, "You're going to see it anyway now. Watch, all of your friends, anyone that liked you before is going to treat you like dirt now that you're with me."

His smirk lost some of its arrogance. "What do you mean?"

"I may be popular Malfoy, but it's not for my looks or my line of gentlemen callers like the rest of the hoes you usually parade around. I'm popular for my family name." My lip curled boldly as his smirk faded from his face. "Which as you know is known for being the opposite side of the war as your family name. So all of them who look up to you for bringing you as the resurrection of the Malfoy name are going to be appalled that you are seen with the likes of me."

Malfoy scowled, but said nothing.

"Yeah." I snorted, "That's what I thought."

"I'm sticking to this. Dealing with you is better then dealing with her."

"So we're back to terms."

Malfoy nodded curtly, "It appears so."

"Don't ever kiss me again in public like that." I snapped.

He looked taken aback by my intensity. "Alright."

"We can…I guess hold hands…or something around other people."

"We'll have to sit with each other for meals to make up for the rest."

I made a face at him. "This is going to be awful."

"Yes. Yes it is."

We starred at each other for a minute but I broke quicker than usual. "I can't do this! I'm a horrible actress."

"I'll do good enough to convince everyone."

"Oh hell." I groaned and kicked the wall. "Fuccccck. This is so incredibly stupid!"

He rolled his eyes. "Well I'm leaving this nasty closet. You can stay here and pointlessly rant if you want to."

"No I'll leave."

"You going back to class?"

I shook my head. "No point now."

"Rose Weasley skipping class…" He gave me an amused look. "Never thought I'd see the day."

"It technically wasn't my fault so I don't feel bad."

He walked ahead of me with a grin on his face.

"What?" I yelled after him. "I don't!"


	7. Change of Seasons

"Albus," I groaned as I leaned on the wall outside his dorm door. "Come on."

There was a ring of silence after I spoke.

I rolled my eyes, "You are being ridiculous! This isn't that deep."

He said nothing, but I heard him lock the door. Which if you really think about it is pointless, because I have a wand. But I guess if that makes him feel better then I'd let him have that little pity victory. Shaking my head I went down the stairs with a sigh. Albus was never going to approve of what I was doing and quite frankly I didn't really care. He was my best friend in the whole world, but he can be a selfish git when he wants to. So what if I snog Scorpius Malfoy? Is that really a reason to have a hissy fit? I could tell him that I didn't like

Running my hands through my hair, I threw it up in a hasty ponytail. I wasn't looking where I was going. I'll admit that, but then again I didn't expect to run into Aiden. He wasn't even a Gryffindor, so why would I think he would be in here?

"Sorry," I mumbled, and I was about to keep moving without looking up when he lightly touched my wrist.

He starred down at me sympathetically. "Me too."

"Excuse me." I glared at him hatefully.

Aiden didn't move. "Rose…I've been meaning to talk to you…"

"About what?" I snapped quietly, "I see no reason for us to speak."

His face displayed signs of hurt, but I knew better than to believe that. "Rose, is that why you've taken up with Malfoy? To get back at me?"

"No. It's not." Venom filled my stomach. "Shockingly everything I do isn't about you."

"Rose," I hated the way he said my name. Like it meant something to him. Like I ever meant anything to him. "I know I hurt you."

I glanced around the room and saw people pretending to be doing other things when I knew they were all listening. "Yes. You did, but it doesn't matter anymore."

"It doesn't?"

"No. I have a boyfriend. You have a girlfriend. So unless you have a problem with another student that your house prefect can't handle I'll be going now."

I had to be back in the Gryffindor common room in two hours, but until then I wasn't going anywhere near it. Instead I headed back to my dorm. When I walked in I was surprised to find Malfoy lounging on the couch. The thing of it is…Malfoy's never in the common room and I've never seen him …relax. It's kind of fucked up really. He always has perfect posture.

"Um hi." I nodded at him.

"You look like you were just hit by a bus." He acknowledged me bluntly.

"Yeah well… that happens."

Malfoy put his hands behind his neck. "Are you going to say what's wrong or am I supposed to guess?"

"Don't you worry your peroxide induced head about it." I told him as I sank into the chair across from him.

"I won't, but don't boyfriend's help with this crap?" He injected snidely.

"Probably."

His face turned confused. "Potter not talking to you?"

"No, but I don't really care."

"Why not?"

I shrugged, swung my legs around in the chair and closed my eyes. "Because if he's not mad about this then it's something else that I do wrong."

"Huh."

"As I said, not your problem."

He didn't say anything for a while and neither did I. My eyes were getting heavy, but I fought it. I lost the fight. When I woke up Malfoy was gone and I was ten minutes late to Kelly's party. Swearing up a storm, I changed out of my uniform into some jeans and my Quidditch jersey. If it were Lauren's party I would put more effort into the way I look, but Kelly cares more about me being on time.

Thankfully Kelly hadn't arrived by the time I got there. Lauren gave me a dirty look, but she didn't say anything. Instead she handed me a party hat and sat next to me on the couch.

"So," She started with a scowl, "Having a busy day are we?"

"I guess so."

Lauren scoffed, "You guess so?"

"Yep."

"Nothing you want to share?"

I pretended to think about it. "Um…Let me think…"

"You are such an asshole," She huffed slapping my arm, "How could you keep this from me?"

I shrugged.

"A shrug? That's all I get out of you? A shrug? Scorpius Malfoy picks you up and kisses you in front of over a hundred people and all I get is a shrug?"

"Look," I lowered my voice as I saw a bunch of people starring at me. "I'll talk to you later alright? For now let's just talk about something else."

Lauren's long eyelashes batted in irritation. "Fine…Let's discuss what the hell Melody Cossack is wearing."

I glanced over at the strawberry blond and had to hold back laughter. Instead I kept my face passive. "Yeah, if this was your party I would correct this issue, but since it's Kelly's party I'm forced to see the good in her and accept her and her atrocious outfit for who she is."

"I think even Kelly might let us have a pass on this one."

"I doubt it…She'd make Melody's neon fish nets into a demonstration of her unique personality." I smiled widely.

Lauren adjusted her emerald sweater over her designer jeans. "Being against mainstream society isn't unique or exceptional. It's actually just as common as being a prep."

"Deep." I mocked her knowingly.

"Oh shove it Weasley."

Lauren and I started weakly fighting when everyone began a loud shushing noise. The lights dimed as I heard Kelly's cousin Eleanor talking to Kelly outside the portrait hole. Lowering myself to the floor, I felt Lauren's piano hands hold onto me for balance.

"Why …the hell are you wearing three inch heels in January?" I whispered at her furiously.

She elbowed me. "Shut-up!"

There was about four beats of silence before Kelly walked in and we all jumped up and yelled surprise. Her little heart shaped face lit up in excitement before reddening in a deep blush.

"You!" She pointed at me with a huge grin.

I half-shrugged as I dragged her into a hug. "I may have had some help. Happy birthday!"

"Thank you!"

Releasing the petite brunette, I moved away and let everyone else get a hold of her. Lauren hugged her the longest and I couldn't help, but laugh. Their friendship was always the funniest thing to me. They were polar opposites and yet they complimented each other so well. Kelly brought out the humanity and kindest in Lauren. And Lauren brought out the underlying catty old woman in Kelly.

Hugo threw his arm around me. "Well hello sis."

"How may I help you?"

"I think we need to have a little talk about what I was forced to witness earlier-"

I moved out of his reach and groaned in aggravation "Not now okay?"

"Fine, but we have to talk later then."

"That's fine."

Before Hugo could say anything more I bolted. The last thing I needed was for my little brother to lecture me. He's dated every girl in his grade and yet he has the nerve to be worried about me? I appreciate his intentions. Hugo, unlike my idiot cousin, is just thinking of me and not how this situation will affect him. I get it. I'm just not going to discuss it during Kelly's birthday party.

Speaking of Kelly, she was in the midst of opening her presents at the center of the room.

"This is definitely from Lauren." Kelly snorted looking at the cute little package.

I crossed my arms and stood next to Lauren. "What makes you think so?"

"Because she has the handwriting of a serial killer."

Fighting a grin, I shared a look and waited for Kelly's reaction. Her large Bambi-like eyes widened in fear and then her jaw dropped. "YOU DID NOT!"

My sides felt like they were going to split I was laughing so hard. Kelly is innocent, but she takes it well. Kelly doesn't want to have sex till marriage. The very mention of sex makes her embarrassed, but instead of getting mad or upset she rolls with it. After a few minutes I looked up and saw that she was laughing too. Sometimes I wished I were like Kelly. She was such a genuine person. She didn't pretend to be anything she wasn't. Every minute of everyday she was 100 percent herself and she never for a second hesitated in that.

When it was time for cake I offered to cut the pieces and pass them out. Lauren gave me an uppity look, but said nothing. For once she just got with the program. Of course the one person who absolutely refused slunk down the stairs and leaned against the back wall.

I was determined to ignore him. Albus could be a prick to me later. Not now, not here. Albus being Albus didn't see that way. He saw now as the perfect situation. He waited until I looked like I was having fun. He waited until I almost forgot he was back there. He waited until he knew it would hurt the most.

Right when Rick Fitzpatrick decided to open his big dumb mouth.

"Hey Weasley, I hear you are with Malfoy now."

I scowled at the jackass, "Rick…please…just shut up."

"Why should he Rose?" Albus stepped forward arrogantly, his black hair swept up like he'd just gotten off the Quidditch field. "I mean have you forgotten what he comes from?"

A few snickers echoed in the room as I fought to swallow down my temper. "Albus knock it off."

"Why? I see no reason for me to. He's the scum of the earth and you are too for dating him."

It took a minute for me to control myself. Every hateful thing I could say to him bubbled up in my stomach, but I fought it down. Abruptly, I said goodbye to Kelly and without another word I walked out.

Unfortunately, I couldn't shake Lily that easily. _Stupid Potter's._ You lose one and two more deploy to bother you. They are such a relentless family.

"Rose! Would you please slow down! I'm not as tall as you this is actually work here!" She yelled as I pushed through the portrait hole leading to my dorm.

I stalled and turned. "Lily don't!"

"Don't what? Try and tell you I don't agree with Albus? I do agree with him. I think you are being an idiot, but I don't approve of his little tantrum either."

I couldn't believe her. "Lily. Why did you follow me then? I'm glad you think Albus is not reacting correctly, but really I think the whole bunch of you are fucking ridiculous. You are all acting like I want to go a cult! He's not the devil Lily!"

"Since when?" She put up her little hand to stop me. "No seriously. Think about it. Since when is he so great? Last year you wrote me a letter comparing him to that stupid Russian dictator!"

"He was acting like Stalin!"

She leveled me with her slender ginger stare. "Rose…what are you doing? What are you doing with him?"

"Lily. What I do with my free time is nobody's goddamn business and not you or anyone else is going to have say about it." I let out a loud sigh. "Now if you'll excuse me. I'll see you tomorrow."

Running up to my room, I didn't let myself look back. I didn't care what Lily said or Albus said. I was sick of them trying to tell me what to do with my life. So I stayed up finishing my program ideas for the Head's meeting and went to bed.

The next morning…I woke up on the floor. I don't know how it happened, but I must have had a nightmare. It had something to do with pancakes, which made me really want pancakes. Like real bad. Rising from the floor, I felt a bruise growing on my temple. It was a great way to wake up I must say. Crawling to the bathroom, I ran my face in some warm water and groaned. In two days it would be February. How did that happen? That month went so quickly. Everything did really. As I ran over the list of things I had to do today, I put some make-up to cover up the hell that was my face. I'm not ugly, but I look like death in the morning. It's like everything unflattering about me is highlighted the most at 9:28 AM. Like how my hair is out-of-control, how my skin gets all blotchy or how my skin couldn't possibly get any paler. By the time I get done I feel reasonably human. This morning was different, because when I went down the stairs to the common room Malfoy was waiting for me.

I was beyond confused. "Where we supposed to have a meeting this morning?"

"I thought we should…" He scowled as he leaned his body against the wall stiffly. "You know go down to breakfast together."

"Wait you always eat early though. So you waited for me?"

"Don't think too much on it Weasley. After a week we don't even have to really be seen together."

Laughing softly, I put my hair up in a ponytail and shrugged. "Sure."

Instead of moving to walk with me he just stood there. "I've never really done this before… so I'm not really sure the procedure."

"Done what?" I mocked easily, "Walked with someone? I do it occasionally to keep up my figure. You should try it more often."

"Not that."

I swiped a few ginger hairs out of my eyes quickly and looked up at him. "Then what?"

"We should probably you know hold hands and all that garbage."

"…I guess you're right."

Starring up into his cool grey eyes, I felt my heart constrict. The air between us changed in an instant, but once it did I found it impossible to be casual with him. A moment earlier I would have just manned up and grabbed his hand. Now I couldn't find the courage to do so. It was like a switch had been flipped and no matter how hard I pushed the lever it wouldn't turn off. After a few seconds I finally couldn't take it. I had to break the tension.

I bit my lip nervously before holding out my hand. "It's not hard."

Malfoy lowered his hand down to mine, but hesitated. "Uh…"

"It's not permanent. Okay think about it this way, haven't you ever held your mum's hand?"

He shrugged. "Yeah."

"It's like that. Here," Before I could chicken out I grabbed his hand and interlocked our fingers. "It's simple."

Taking a step forward, I halted. Malfoy was staring at me. I could feel it, but I wasn't going to give in. No this was awkward and this was happening. So there was not else I could but just accepted it and move the hell on.

"Let's go." He announced as we left our common room together.

We said nothing to each other the whole way to the great hall. Then again what else was there really to say?

Hey this is uncomfortable as ass. I know we've hated each other for 7 years, and we've never so much as smiled at one another, but we are totally holding hands. We are holding hands and you're hands are oddly manly and strong. Which isn't actually weird because you are in fact a man, but it's weird because I forgot. Oh and this whole holding your hand thing doesn't feel bad. It actually makes my hand tingle.

"Do we have to sit together or…" I began wanting to let go of his hand as soon as possible.

He shook his head. "We held hands. We've done enough."

"Okay…then I guess I'll see you later."

Malfoy moved to open the door then gave me a look. "I guess I'll walk you to class after?"

"Suuuure."

Walking in I sat at the end of the table and filled my plate with pancakes. Since I wasn't that awake I didn't think about anything but maple syrup. Maple syrup is never a maybe. Maple syrup is a necessity. I like my pancakes to be overflowing and fatty. It pumps me up for the rest of the day. So I didn't acknowledge Lily when she sat next to me.

"Rose."

I toke a bite.

"You know you need to be able to breathe and eat at the same time."

"Ah huh."

Lily leaned forward so her face was inches from mine. "Rose. Are you going to stay mad at me?"

I took a swig of my chocolate milk.

"You're being ridiculous."

I wiped my mouth and went for another pancake.

"I can't believe you held hands with him!"

"Well I did."

Albus made a loud noise on her other side that sounded something like traitor.

At that moment something in me…snapped. Finishing my food, I made the most irrational decision of my entire life. I don't know what drove me to do it. There was an impulsive rush of adrenaline pumping through my body and I felt the need to use it. Everyone's words were pounding in my head. They all called me names. They all thought they could tell me about my own life. Well you know what? I'm taking it back. Every piece of dignity I let them steal was mine again.

I marched over to Malfoy. My head held high, I became aware that everyone's eyes were on me, including his and for once I loved it.

"What-?" He started, but I didn't explain.

Instead I smiled at him and sat on his lap. "Honey, I missed you!"

His eyebrows almost disappeared in his hair. "What are you doing?"

"Paying you back." I smirked before snatching his tie and pulling his lips onto mine.

At first, he was too shocked to react, but then he kissed me back. His lips were so soft as his arms circled around the back of waist and he dragged me closer to him. Goosebumps popped up on my skin as my confidence boost stabilized. I pulled away first and when I did I expected him to let go of me. He didn't.

"Why did you do that?" He whispered.

Pushing myself up I tried to walk away, but he grabbed my arm. "Weasley…"

I let out a breath. "Pancakes…" Then I looked away from him and at my feet. "It's the pancakes."


	8. Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?

Two days went by without me looking at Malfoy and considering we spent almost every minute together it was pretty skilful of me. Unlike most guys he noticed that there was something wrong. He just asked nothing about it. Until today, that is.

"Weasley," Malfoy started as we sat next each other in class. "Are you on your period or something?"

I let out an exhausted sigh. "No Malfoy I'm not menstruating, but thank you for being a stereotypical male."

"Well I thought I'd push the obvious reason out of the way."

"How thoughtful of you." I scoffed getting my homework out.

He turned and leaned forward. "Why won't you look at me?"

"I never look at you."

"Actually you do." He frowned, "You always made it a point to look at me when you snap bitchy things at me."

"Whatever."

Malfoy bit the side of his lip in thought, which somehow made me angrier with him. "Okay I usually don't care about your little white girl problems, but it seems to be directed at me and I refuse to give Levitt anymore motivation to come after me then she already has. So I'm going to ask you this once, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm fine. I appreciate your selfish consideration for my wellbeing, but I'm good."

"Weasley, you are really doing the girl thing?"

I furrowed my eyebrows. "The what?"

"The girl thing. You know the thing where you pretend you're fine when it's clear you aren't."

A low chuckle escaped my lips. "We all do that?"

"Yes, and it's annoying as hell."

"Well as intriguing as this revelation is I'm actually fine thank you." I lied calmly.

He opened his mouth to refute what I just said, but he stopped as our professor began lecturing. Today I didn't feel like taking notes. My mind was on other things or more the body next to mine. It was like a never-ending slide show of my mouth on his. This was torture. When I built snowmen outside with Kelly and Lauren, all I could think about was how it would feel to push him in the snow and kiss him in the snow. During the first Quidditch practice of this semester we were really busy. We went through new trick plays and ran through the snow. But while Albus was hazing the shit out of me, making me do more laps than everyone else and making me carry all the equipment, I was thinking about what he would look like shirtless. He had to have some kind of muscle going on under those oxford shirts right?

My hormones were driving me crazy. The only piece of sanity I held onto was the fact that I couldn't act on it. I threw myself into school and head girl duties and tried to ignore my sudden impulses. Malfoy, oblivious to my internal struggle, wasn't making anything any easier. Every time Rachel came down the hall or there was even a flash of blonde hair he put his arm around me or pull me into him. Originally it was really random and rigid, but after the first day I got used to it and didn't tense up.

I was caught of guard when Malfoy passed me a note. He always paid attention during class so why the hell was he sending me a note. Opening the note, and let out a low laugh. There on the parchment was a weird stick figure with my hair and a guy I'm supposing was him was oddly starring at her. There was a caption at the top, but I couldn't read it. His handwriting was so small that it ran together. So when our teacher was drawing something on the board I faced him and held up the paper.

"What is this?"

"You can't read?"

I glowered at him. "Better than you can. It's just your handwriting that sucks."

"It says, 'what's wrong?"

"Really…You spent ten minutes working on this and all you could figure out to write was what's wrong?"

He grinned, drawing my vision to his perfect jaw. Asshole. "I like to get to the point."

"Honestly Malfoy, just let it go."

"No," His voice dropped to a whisper. "I'm not going to and you know why?"

I crossed my arms furiously. "No, why don't you tell me?"

"Because when you get all angry …you're kind of cute."

My face grew warm and I looked away from him in embarrassment.

I waited till class was over to respond. Throwing my bag over my shoulder I stood up and glared at him.

"I know you heard me Weasley, because your face matches your hair."

"Well then Malfoy… I'm about to get gorgeous!" Then I practically ran away from him and ran right into Lily.

"Where's the fire Rose?" Lily asked me.

I scrunched up my face. "Nowhere."

"You've been acting weird. Is it Malfoy? Have you finally realized that this is a stupid idea?"

"No Lily." I groaned wanting ever so slightly to throttle her throat. "I'm sorry I ran into you, but I must get going."

She popped her hand on her hip. "To avoid Malfoy? Because he's right behind you."

I spun around. "Fuckkkk!"

"Why are you avoiding him?" She called after me, but I was far gone.

I didn't look like I'd be fast. I have malnourished chicken legs, but these chicken legs are long and have thin threads of muscles. And those threads of muscles matched with the rest of my athletic figure made me one fast bitch. The thing is I couldn't avoid him all day because we had a huge meeting later. What I could do though is hide in the Ravenclaw tower and go over the plans for the meeting. No one ever comes up here, because it's colder and was the only building they didn't repair after the war. I think it's because uncle Fred died here so they left it standing the way it was a monument to everyone that died. Whenever I feel like I'm really loosing it I come here. Sometimes it's nice to look back and remember at time when sometimes things were important enough to give up everything for.

Sitting down on the third step, I pulled out a photo book of my family and started flipping through my favorite pages. I didn't have it bad at all. At the end of my angsty teenage days even I know that. But the reason I made Kelly a photo book instead of buying her a gag gift is because to me it's more meaningful. Yes Lauren's gift is funny, but in fifty years when it finally hits Kelly that life sucks then she can look back at a time when it didn't.

Once sun when went down, I felt too cold to sit there in my uniform. So I tucked my photo album back into my bag and went back to my dorm to change into some muggle clothes. I was going to wear a t-shirt when I remembered the reason I needed to change in the first place and felt like an idiot. Eventually I left in my Quidditch sweatpants and a very thick and very warn maroon sweater. When I got to the meeting Malfoy wasn't there. It was weird. He was always early, and arrogant about it too. So where the hell was boy wonder?

"Okay…well I guess Malfoy has better things to do… so I have the program ideas for tonight. I will pass out the vote numbers and when I'm done please circle which option you want and then we will vote on who will work on the advertising. Any questions?"

Rachel raised her hand and I bluntly ignored her.

"Well in that case here we go." I passed out the forums and took my own.

Camping trip; April 13th, three day trip with chaperone.

Trip to muggle town; February 17th, two day visit to a muggle town with chaperone.

A dance; May 5th.

Seventh year sleepover; April 8th.

Sitting down, I grabbed a quill and circled 1. My mom often took me camping and I loved it. Hugo bitched the whole time and I doubted that they would feel any different. People don't like getting dirty or doing anything on their own, but sometimes I actually prefer it.

"Alright," I collected their papers and sat back in my chair. "So does anybody actually _want_ to be on the advertising committee?"

Rachel raised her hand.

"Okay …anybody else want to work with Rachel?"

Nobody raised their hands.

I fought to grin at them. I meant to ask anybody else want to, but this answer was so much better. "Okay well somebody else has to do it."

"Can't Scorpius fill in?" Rachel asked innocently as she chewed on the side of her quill.

"Well," I tilted my head, "He _could, _but he probably is too busy. Head boy and girl aren't supposed to."

Rachel tossed her blonde hair and batted her obnoxious eyelashes. "Well can he Rose? Will you let him?"

"I don't know what Scorpius wants, _Rachel._ But I don't own him. So if you would like to ask him something I suggest you ask him yourself." I snapped.

"Well, how do you suggest I do that?"

Cracking my neck aggressively, I crossed my legs and wanted nothing better than to throw her off a cliff with sharp needle like rocks at the bottom. "I'm sure you'll see him eventually."

"Well where is he now? Aren't meetings mandatory for you two? Shouldn't you know where you boyfriend is?"

I let out an awkward laugh and starred at her in disbelief. "Are you serious right now? One of us is required to be at this meeting. And as to where he is why don't you look at the door?"

Her face went from cool confidence to dumb shock and I enjoyed immensely. Malfoy strutted over and dropped into the chair beside me. This time it was him who couldn't look at me and I immediately knew why when I saw the bruise growing under his eye. My happiness evaporated as I began to fume with anger.

"Alright well why don't we put it to a vote?" I suggested ripping up pieces of parchment and passing it around. "Write a name on it and whoever's name that is written down the most will do the posters."

In the silence I heard two things; 1) the sound of quills scribbling on the paper and 2) the sound of my own shoe clicking on the floor. Poor Eve Helmer, a lowly fifth year Ravenclaw got it.

"So Eve and Rachel will be on the advertising committee and this years 7th year trip will be…" I counted the votes and was happily surprised. "Will be camping. So next meeting Rachel and Eve come prepared with ideas for marketing and everyone else don't forget to bring your schedules for next month. This meeting is adjourned."

A few people looked like they might need to talk to me about something, but I paid them no attention. They knew where to find me if what they had to say was important. I snatched Malfoy's arm and dragged into the nearest broom closet, which was more cramped than I thought it would be, but fuck it.

"How did you get that black eye?"

He scowled. "Don't worry about it."

"No," I yelled putting an arm out to stop him. "That's not how this works. You don't show up to a meeting late with a black eye and get to not tell me what happened."

"Oh really?" He asked his tone cold, "How does this work then?"

I lowered my hand and stared at him. "What's wrong with you?"

"Like you don't know."

"Don't know what?"

He sneered and punched the wall furiously. "Like you didn't know your bastard cousin, brother and their friends waited for me outside the room to beat the shit out of me."

"What are you talking about? If you were cornered wouldn't you have more than a bruise?"

"They thought they heard a teacher coming and pulled me off of Potter so he could get a hit in."

I blinked up at him stupidly. "Wait…why didn't I hear anything why would…."

The reason I stopped speaking was because at that moment I looked into his eyes and found that he was being…genuine. Albus did jump him, but why?

"Why did he do that?"

Malfoy's eyes sought the floor for an alliance and suddenly everything made sense.

"I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!" I roared about to charge out when he stopped me. "WHAT THE HELL IS HIS PROBLEM? YOU'VE DONE NOTHING WRONG!"

His face was crestfallen, but he didn't let go of me. "He seemed pretty sure I must have something on you to get you into this."

"What a fucking tosser!" I bolted for the door, but Scorpius held me in place.

"You may be fast, but I'm stronger than you Weasley."

I let out a sigh of fury. "Five guys against one, real mature! I'm sure his father would be disgusted…What did he say to you?"

"Nevermind. I'm fine. So let's drop it-"

"Oh no! We don't get to drop it! I want to know exactly what the little shit said to you!"

Scorpius rested his head back on the wall behind him in irritation. "You are relentless."

"Yes I am. Now you better tell me or you are going to spend a very uncomfortable night in this cramped smelly broom closet."

"I'll make a deal." He countered, "I'll tell you if you tell me what's the matter with you."

I narrowed my eyes up at him. "Fine. You first."

"Fine. Your cousin came up to me and started saying …"

"Tell me."

He curled his lip over his teeth. "He asked me what I did to make you sink to my level. And when I told him I've done nothing. He called me a few choice words and I punched him in the face."

"Ah I see." Suddenly I felt that I had overreacted and regretted our agreement.

"So now are you going to tell me-?"

"Nope! Gotta go!" I yelled and tried to run around him, but he found a way to grab me and pin me against the wall.

He grinned and it looked even hotter with that black eye. Asshole. "Now tell me ginger, what are you trying so hard to lie to me about?"

I shivered as I felt his breath hot against my neck. "You don't want to know."

"Clearly I do."

I couldn't look at him.

"My eyes are up here," He tilted my chin up jokingly.

I wished he hadn't because then we both noticed how far away we were from each other and for the first time I saw him blush.

I cleared my throat and move around his arms. "Come on," I grabbed his wrist, "Let's get some ice for that eye."

The most impossible part of my day? Acting like I had no feelings for him when I acted like I had feelings for him. It was ridiculous. We'd be in public doing cutesy bullshit to reinstate our dating status and then we wouldn't be within four feet of each other when were alone with each other. So being in the kitchens with him late at night putting ice on his eye was weird to say the least.

"So what were you and Rachel fighting about when I walked in?"

A large smile grew on my face at that question. "Well she wanted you to work with her on the advertising thing for the camping trip."

"Ugh they chose the camping trip?"

"Of course you would hate camping." I scoffed taking a bite of my cupcake.

"What does that mean?"

I shrugged, "You just don't seem to like to like to do anything that doesn't have a purpose."

"And you do?"

"Yeah."

He sat back in his chair and his one eye gave me a look, which I don't know how he managed, but he did. "Like what?"

"Huh?"

"What do you Rose Weasley do that doesn't have a purpose?"

I frowned in thought. "Play in the snow, bake deserts, annnnd…dance."

"You bake?"

"Only when I'm upset."

A sparkle of intensity flickered in his eyes. "See? Then it has a purpose!"

"Oh whatever!"

He took a bite of his cupcake. "Why only when you're upset?"

"I dunno, I just only like doing it when I need to calm down."

"Well have you tried doing it when you're happy?"

I shook my head. "No I haven't and I like to keep it that way."

"I don't get you." He sighed.

"What is there not to get? I'm a very simple person."

He shook his head. "You, Rose Weasley are anything, but simple."

"Have you eaten enough pink frosting to make you feel better?" I asked him like he was a child.

"Yes…" He let out a little laugh. "I have."

I stood up and smiled at Peiki. The little house elf hugged my waist and grinned up at me. "Miss Weasley, promises to visit!"

"Yes I do!" I hugged her back. "Next time I will bake with you."

"I will enjoy that! Thank you!" She curtsied at us as we left.

We fell into step with each other instantly, but we didn't talk we didn't need to. It wasn't forced. It was just…us.

For years all I wanted was for him to leave me the hell alone.

Now, as we walked alone in the quiet corridors, the only thought on my mind was what it would be like to really hold his hand. Not as a joke or a ploy, but to just do it because we could. A whimsical feeling swelled up in my stomach as this thought swirled around in my brain. It was like I was fourteen all over again. The possibility of love was everywhere, but all I had to do to come back down to reality was to remember how I got into this situation in the first place. I loved a guy more than he loved me. I'd fought for the relationship and I gave up when it was clear he wasn't willing to do the same. I'm not going to be that girl that cries about how she doesn't want to get her heart to get broken again. Of course my heart will be broken a thousand more times in my life. The problem I was having was letting it happen. It's like someone telling you that they are about to beat the crap out of you. Do you stand there and take it? Do you run for the hills? Or do you fight back?

I've always believed it was worth it. The sacrifices made for love that is. But now, I wasn't so sure. How could I be sure about anything? I couldn't.


	9. Fool Like Me

For four hours Malfoy and I sat in the library studying. It was horrific. We hadn't spoke in fifty minutes. We were both pouring over essays for different classes and I don't know about him, but I wasn't getting anywhere. About five minutes earlier Malfoy's moronic friends moved to the table across from me. It was weird at first because I didn't realize they knew where the library was. Now it was weird because they wouldn't stop leering at me. At first I thought they were just zoned out, but they occasionally looked away to talk to each other meaning they were looking at me for a reason. Whatever it was it was creepy.

"Malfoy." I closed my eyes furiously. "Want to tell me why your thug friends are staring at me?"

He shrugged. "I don't know."

"Well could you ask them to stop?"

"Nope."

I turned and glared at him. "Why?"

"Because it wouldn't work."

"Why not? Aren't you in charge of them?"

He put down his book in frustration. "Weasley is there a reason you are talking? If you working on your essay like I am then you wouldn't care."

"What is up your ass Malfoy?"

"Nothing."

I pushed his arm so he would look up at me. "No. What is wrong? Don't be a woman."

"You wouldn't understand." Malfoy sighed dismissively before picking his book up.

I wasn't going to wait for him to grow up. That could take years. So I grabbed him, lifted him to his feet and dragged him to the back of the library.

"What are you doing Weasley?" He questioned me.

"I'm not going to sit there with you silently mad about something. Why are those guys starring?"

He moved to get around him, but I blocked him. "Why are you being so difficult?"

"I'm not!"

"Yes you are!" I'd never seen him this way and there was no way I was going to stand for it. "Just talk to me!"

He set his jaw and glowered at the ceiling. "I told you-"

"Well I don't believe you."

"Well maybe I don't like watching you struggle with something that I could easily fix for you!"

I blinked up at him stupidly. "What?"

"Your essay!" He exclaimed raising his hands. "You know I've finished it and know how to help you and you refuse to ask me."

Touché. "That has nothing to do with why your friends are starring at us."

"Haven't you noticed? Everyone stares at us!" He growled, "It's like we're an exhibit at the zoo!"

"You've been to the zoo?" I scrunched up my face in surprise.

He shrugged. "Yes my mother took me. That's not the point!"

"What is the point then? I warned you it would be like this."

"I know you did, but that's not all they're doing."

I leaned back against the bookshelf. "What are they doing?"

"There are some rumors going on about you."

"Like?"

He scowled. "You should ask Potter. He's the one spreading them."

"Yeah, well he does that." I was disappointed, but not all together taken aback by Albus's actions. "Is that why you're so angsty?"

"How do you not care? You get mad at everything Rachel does to you. He's your cousin…"

I frowned. "Because I've done nothing to deserve this from Rachel. Albus…finds things to get mad at me about. Besides it's probably just rumors calling me a slut, which I'm not so I don't care."

"There's something wrong with you."

"You say that often, but if it bothered you so badly that I wasn't asking for help why didn't you offer it?" I pointed out slyly.

He crossed his arms and flicked his bangs out of his eyes. "If you need help you'll ask for it."

"Clearly you don't know me as well as you think then." I gave him a condescending look.

"Fine, what do you need help with?"

I slumped. "The whole damn thing. I can't seem to make it flow right."

"I can take a look at it."

"What's the catch?"

"What do you mean?" His tone was sharp.

I sighed. "I mean what do I have to do in return?"

"Not everything has strings attached."

"Oh because this whole relationship isn't for a purpose?" I reminded him bitterly.

He nudged me and gestured we leave. "Come on. You don't have to beg I'll fix your horrid paper."

"Oh yeah because that's what's happening."

I hated how school came so easy for him. He never had any trouble at anything. As he went over what was wrong with my essay I became infuriated with him. How could he be so good at everything? Why wasn't he bad at anything? After he butchered my poor innocent essay, I just starred at him in anguish.

"What?"

I frowned.

"Why do you look like I just murdered your cat?"

"Are you bad at anything?" I asked flippantly.

"Not that I'm aware of."

I nodded, "So you're fatal flaw is arrogance. Original."

His faultless lips parted to speak, but he was interrupted as a very large ridiculous bird swooping into the library.

"What the-?" Loudly I snorted out with laughter as it dropped the biggest envelope I'd ever seen.

Scorpius leaned forward curiously. "What is it?"

I shook my head. "No idea."

Opening the envelope I found a very fancy wedding invitation.

_Mr. and Mrs. Harry Potter  
>and Mr. and Mrs. Charles Weasley<br>invite you to join in the celebration  
>of the marriage uniting their children<br>Theodore Lupin and Victoire Weasley_

_On Saturday May 8__th__ 2024,_

_at Godric's Hollow Number Four._

_Reception Immediately Following Ceremony_

A small smile filled my face as I noticed there was a handwritten note on the bottom.

_Ps: You are bridesmaid and you better get over your aversion to pink._

"What is it?"

"My cousin is getting married." I answered softly.

Scorpius looked pensive. "Why do you look sad then?"

"I didn't realize I did." I admitted sheepishly. "I'm happy for them."

Suddenly I just wanted to be …alone. I couldn't explain why, at least not to him anyway. So I began to pack up my stuff. I told him I needed to go see Roxanne to see if she'd gotten hers, but I didn't. Roxanne Weasley was probably in Ravenclaw with her nose shoved in some book. I headed for the Ravenclaw tower again. I wasn't sad about the wedding I was overjoyed that Teddy and Victoire finally were getting married. For years, I'd watched the pair of them bicker so clearly in love with one another. I'm glad they're going to be together…_forever_.

"Mind telling me what the hell are you doing up here?"

I jumped and was alarmed to find Scorpius standing a few feet away from me. "What the hell are you doing up here?"

"You left your jacket in the library."

"So you walked all the way over here to deliver it?" I questioned doubtfully.

He sat down across from me. "It's freezing up here."

"What do you want Scorpius?" I hugged my cold arms. "As much as I appreciate you bringing me my jacket you don't have to sit with me."

"You know why I'm here."

I shook my head. "I really don't. You don't have to pretend to care. I know we have to in front of Rachel so she doesn't lock you up and steal your clothes. But not here."

His face grew…softer as my eyes filled with tears. I pulled my knees into my chest. "I'm sorry… I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Are your parent's getting a divorce?"

I shook my head. "No. They're not. No one in my family is. Because they all met the love of their live at Hogwarts. Then they got married had redheaded children and stayed together. Forever. Nothing was ever questioned. There was never any heartbreak it just all fell together perfectly."

"Are you maybe scared that it won't happen to you?"

"Yeah…I am." I sniffed slightly, "It was all so easy for them. Even my parent's had it easy. I know my dad can be an ass but still they've been together for thirty years. I'm almost out of here and I really see it happening to me. They all love each other in that I'd-die-a million-death's-for-you way too. It's not just settling for whoever…. Not that I need it or anything, but how does it happen to other people? I literally have no other example that doesn't involve Hogwarts."

Scorpius shrugged. "Mine did."

"How did your parent's meet?"

"My mum owns a book shop, and one dad when my dad was walking on his way somewhere he saw her." A bright grin sprawled out across his face. "He says he felt thick asking a girl out that he'd never spoken to before, but there was something about her that stopped him in his tracks. She says that she agreed to go out with him because she saw him practicing how to ask her out outside the store before he did it and she thought it was adorable."

I beamed. "It is adorable. Your mum sounds sweet."

"She is."

"Not that I'm saying anything against your dad. I actually feel sorry for him. If my family heads were on the chopping block I don't know if I would have been able to openly defy Voldemort either." I then clamped my hand over my mouth in horror. "I did not mean-"

And for once he laughed, which brought out a light in his eyes I'd never noticed before. "It's fine. I know what you meant, and for the record I appreciate that."

"I'm sorry. I'm an idiot. I know I have it easy. It is cold up here isn't it?" I asked awkwardly looking around as if I just noticed the place.

He handed me my jacket. "This might help."

"Yeah, thanks for that."

"Don't mention it."

I starred determinedly at my shoes. "This is awkward as ass."

"Yeah it is…But why is it? We've known each other for years."

"Not like this."

His face tilted. "Not like what?"

"You know what I mean." I scoffed darkly.

"I'm afraid I don't."

I rolled my head back onto the back wall as I pulled on my coat. "Never mind."

"No," He bent forward so close I could see his breath leaving his mouth. "What are you rambling on about?"

I shook my head and moved to stand. Scorpius sensed this and blocked me. He seized me and caged me in his lap, between his arms. My heart leapt into my throat as my face turned crimson.

"What are you doing?" I stumbled nervously.

"I don't know." He whispered as his eyes scanned my face.

If he lowered his jaw a fraction of an inch down we would kiss. I was frozen in his arms, scared shitless. Then, he slowly began to bring me in closer to him. I wasn't even sure if he was aware of it. But he was little by little drawing my lips into his. His lips tasted like coffee and licorice. Touch by touch our kissing became more and more intense as we began to loose ourselves. For that moment it didn't matter who we were. For a moment the only thing that matter was getting as close to each other as humanly possible. Every part of me had felt like a person with boobs and hair for show since Christmas. Now I could feel myself turning back into an actual girl wanting things I hadn't in a long time.

My legs wrapped around his waist as I sunk deeper into his lap. His hand slid up the back of my jacket as my hands gripped his neck like my life depended on every kiss he was giving me. It felt like it did. I felt like at any second we might be ripped a part and when the second came I would never feel this way again. This magnetic, electric pulsing need to be as closer than close to him. My hands became bored and wandered down to his shirt. I wanted it off. I needed it off. But as soon as that thought entered my brain common sense taggled along and I gradually pulled away from him.

"Woah…" I breathed heavily dazed.

He nodded with the same dumbfounded expression. "Yeah."

"I should get off of you."

"Probably." He grinned.

I touched his face without meaning to. It's just that I noticed he has dimples and I couldn't seem to stop my hands from touching them. "You have dimples."

"I do?"

"Yeah. No one's ever told you?"

He shook his head gently. "No."

"Yes well…I'm going to get off you now."

We both rose. I moved around him and started walking down the stairs. I didn't reach for his hand and he didn't reach for mine. In unison we hiked down the steps. It was weird we were supposed to be kissing each other. We weren't supposed to pull away around other people. So why when our feelings were genuine he acted like he didn't know me, but when we were pretending he had no problem kissing me in front of the world?

'Because,' that little bitter voice in my head echoed all knowingly. 'This will never be anything, but a kiss in the dark.'

I'd done a good job pretending our little make out session in the Ravenclaw tower had never happened. I still held his damn hand and all of the bullshit, but I cut it off at that. I was being stupid. Scorpius Malfoy and I are a horrible idea clearly. He's just with me to get away from Rachel and I need to accept that. I was heading to Quidditch practice when Hugo headed me off.

"So I think it's time we talked."

"About?"

"You and Malfoy." He voiced curtly.

I let out a groan of frustration. "Really? You have nothing else you could possibly talk to me about? How about your love life or how you're doing in school. Or generally you?"

"We never talked about it in the first place."

"Because I don't want to!" I felt like ripping my hair out. "God! My whole life doesn't revolve around who I'm dating!"

He raised his hand defensively as I looked like I might beat him with my broom. "Fine! Fine! Can I ask you one question without you freaking out? Are you bringing him to the wedding?"

There I was standing in the middle of the Great Hall, in full Quidditch gear, in the beginning of February and he was asking me if I was going to bring Malfoy to Victoire's wedding?

I couldn't even begin to answer that question, because when I saw the plus one on my card I immediately disregarded it. Come to think of it I didn't know why I did that.

"I have no idea. Probably not."

Hugo's face turned into a smirk. "Probably not."

"What are you smirking about?"

"Oh nothing," His tone was light and full of mocking.

I smacked his arm. "What? Are you saying you want me to bring him or something?"

"Oh it's definitely _or something_."

"What?"

Hugo's grin grew as he got an annoying arrogant glint in his eye. "You know exactly what I'm talking about."

"No I honestly don't." I crossed my arms in aggravation.

"Wow…you don't do you?"

"You are more cryptic than Sudoku!" I finally just decided to walk away. "I don't know what you're talking about Hugo, and I'm not going to be late to practice."

He cackled behind me. "Oh I'll walk with you. You forget I'm on the team too right?"

"No. I didn't forget. I was just saying that I was going to practice."

"Ah huh."

I didn't understand him at all. "You know…I dropped you when you were little, and I think this is the side effects."

"You dropped me?"

I snickered, "Yeah. I don't know what dad was thinking when he handed you to me. I'm only two years older than you. Mum threw a fit when she found out."

"He probably thought you might warm up to me."

"What are you talking about? I stalked you when I we were little."

Hugo looked confused. "What?"

"Look at the pictures when we were younger. I was all over you. I volunteered to tuck you in and read you stories. I've always loved having you around."

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and squeezed me to his side. "I know I just like hearing it."

"You're an idiot."

"Your favorite idiot."

I rolled my eyes and side hugged him. "I guess. Now why don't we talk about you for a change?"

"Nothing new with me. Just getting all the hotties as usual."

"Wow maybe that fall gave you brain damage."

He restrained me with one arm as he playfully messed up my hair with the other. "How's this for brain damage? Huh? Huh?"

We arrived for practice early, but it didn't matter Albus spent this practice like he'd spend the last three, trying to make me as miserable as possible. It was 19 degrees outside, the snow was up to my knee, the wind was howling and Albus was trying to start shit with me? After five unnecessary laps around the field I started laughing. How weak was he that all he could come up with to bring me down was making me run and calling me a slut? How clichéd was he? The more I ran the funnier it became. It got worse when we were in the air. Albus's face was rosy like a fifteen-year-old girl as he screamed himself hoarse at me.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" He yelled as his voice cracked.

I shrugged, with a stupid smile on my face. "Nothing."

"WHY ARE YOU SMILING?"

"No reason. It's a nice day out."

His eyes widened in pure fury and he made several strangling motions with his hands before flying over to work with the beaters.

One of the chasers, Luke Pike, flew next to me, and gave me a look. "Are you alright Weasley?"

"I'm good. How are you?"

"You just look like you've gotten the wrong end of a cheering charm."

My hair was everywhere, but all I could do was laugh. "Nope Luke. I'm straight."

I really don't know why I was so calmly happy, but the angrier Albus got the delighted I became. I was sick of being mad about stupid shit. He could yell at me all night and I was going to keep this big dumb smile on my face. That was the biggest fuck you I could ever give him and I was going to keep as long as humanly possible.

Once we were done with practice Albus couldn't think of anything to say to me. In the two hours he'd done everything he could to break me and I broke him. It was Jesus. When I got back the dorms I showered and changed into my dancing penguin pajamas. I grabbed my boom box put it down in the common room and turned on the witches channel. The song that came on was upbeat and just the thing to dance to.

I'd like to start by saying I'm an awful dancer. I have two rhythms fast and slow. Fast is just me moving around punching and jittering around. And slow is classic slow dancing. So when Malfoy came down from his room I was in the middle of this weird hip sashay that I'm quite proud of.

"What are you doing?"

I stopped immediately and laughed. "Um…you know just moving."

He was wearing a black t-shirt and some pajama pants along with a smile. "You're really bad you know?"

"Yes I do, but you know what I realized today?"

"What?"

I spun around in a clumsy circle. "I don't give a fuck!"

"Have you been drinking?" He asked skeptically.

I shook my head. "I am done being miserable. Would you like to dance with me?"

"Is what you were doing before dancing? Because I'm afraid I can't keep up if that's the case."

"Can you dance?"

He rolled his eyes. "Of course."

"Then come on."

"What kind of dance do you want to do?"

I frowned thoughtfully. "Um, I have no idea…I honestly have no idea how to do any specific style of dancing."

"Clearly."

"Oh quit being a pompous ass." I held out my arms. "For one minute just put your resentment away and forget that you don't like me. It's easy you do it every day."

He let out an overdramatic sigh and walked towards me. "Do you know how to waltz?"

"Is it the one two three one?" I squinted my eyes up at him.

"No."

I scowled. "Well then could you teach me? I have to learn how to dance anyway for my cousin's wedding."

"I thought you weren't the type of girl to ask for help." He reminded me haughtily.

"You know what fuck you!" I scoffed, "I'm trying to be in a good mood here. I'm really trying here and you have to shit on it. Why do you always have to shit all over everything?"

"I beg your pardon?" He asked with his eyebrows raised. "I shit on everything?"

I pushed him in the chest hard. "Yes you do! And I'm sick of it! I'm sick of you acting like I'm beneath you! I apologize for ever thinking you would possibly help me!"

"Me think I'm beneath you?" He yelled loudly, his temper flaring. "What about you, you hypocrite?"

"What about me? I'm perfectly nice to you and you throw it back in my face! I'm sorry I'm not one of your sluts who kiss your feet-"

His eyes narrowed as he took three strides toward me and interrupted me swiftly. "You wouldn't know the first thing about me Weasley! It is very obvious that it is actually you who look down on me!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh please! I don't imagine your entire family is talking to you, because they are happy to see you holding your hand."

I threw my hands up. "What am I supposed to say to that? Of course they aren't happy. You've treated me like garbage ever since I met you."

"Did you ever stoop to wonder why?"

"No," I cruel tone took over, "Because I knew you hated me the second you saw me so I figured it was because of my last name."

He frowned. "No. I don't hate you because of that. I hate you because everything works out for you because of your last name."

"You really think that?" I couldn't hold the look of hurt back from him.

"Yes I do. I've had to work everyday of my life to try and erase what my father and grandfather have done. And you have no idea what that's like." He seethed hotly.

"No," I conceded. "I have no idea what it's like for you, but don't you stand there and think you have any idea what my life is like. My mother was a genius, and everyone expects me to be just like her, but I'm not. Yeah I want to work at the Ministry, but where? I have no idea, because everyone else in my family in succeeds and what do I do? I fuck everything up. That's what I'm good at. Sure I'm headgirl and top in our class but do you have any idea how hard I have to constantly work to do that? I'm constantly terrified that I'm going to fuck it all up. Like when I punched Rachel. I could have been expelled then what would have happened to me? Nothing! I would be the black sheep of my family. The one they all pity and feel sorry for because I'm not as great as everybody else. I'm not as well liked as Lily. I'm not as smart as Roxanne. I'm not as pretty as Victoire. I'm just there. Existing."

When I finally finished I let out a huge breath and groaned. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything to you ever. I'll leave. I didn't realize that my mere presence brought you continuous agony."

"I didn't mean it like that." He growled. "I meant that I'm just uncomfortable with your family."

I moved onto the couch. "That's fine, but what does that have to do with me?"

"Nothing, except you are a part of your family."

"What does that mean? You're a part of your family too."

He lowered himself down on the couch. "Not like you are with yours."

"It's suffocating. Everyone tells me what to do or gives me advice like they can control me. Look at Albus. Why does it matter who I date? How is that any of his business?"

"Because it's me."

I looked over and grabbed his arm. "Look at me. You shouldn't give a shit. If we were really dating I wouldn't care what they think."

"Oh please Weasley. Everyone cares."

"Not me, and maybe you should worry a little less about what people think."

He raised his eyebrows. "Huh, you think I should do whatever and not care?"

"I'm saying do whatever you want. I'm just saying to stop letting what people say about you affect what you do."

He scooted over so he was sitting right next to me. "Are you sure about that?"

"Yep." I gulped. "If you want something. Go for it."

"I'll take that into consideration Weasley."

He bent downward so we were millimeters a part. I could see every freckle under bright grey eyes. He was about to kiss me. I knew he was, but I wasn't going to let that stand. He just yelled at me and his reward is to kiss me? Hell no. If he wanted to kiss me he was going to be nice to me first. Abruptly I maneuvered away around him and stood up.

"So I'm all for you taking initiative, but I'm not that easy."


	10. Arms

Late on Tuesday, I was headed to meet Scorpius out in the quad when I spotted my brother with a bunch of his friends. Albus had somehow managed to avoid me for the past few days. He was in almost all of my classes, we were on the same Quidditch team and yet I could within ten feet of the guy without him finding a way to get a way from me. I hoped it meant he felt bad for cornering Scorpius, but I wasn't that delusional.

"Hugo," I stated as I grabbed him by the ear and dragged him aside. "Oh nice to see you too!"

He growled and tried to break my grip, but I was too quick for him. "What's your problem?"

"So I heard that you, Albus and a bunch of his sleazy friends ganged up on Malfoy. True," I squeezed his ear harder. "Or false?"

"First of all," He started regally as if he was facing a judge and jury and not his older sister. "I didn't do anything to Malfoy. I actually was there to stop Albus, but one of his little buddies kept blocking me."

I released him and sighed. "Good I'd hate to have to kick your ass. You come from such good stock."

"As do you." He grinned while he rubbed his ear. "So, have you yelled at Albus yet?"

"No. That little worm keeps running from me."

Hugo's bushy eyebrows furrowed in suspicion. "Wait, he's avoiding you too?"

"Yeah…"

"I thought he was just mad at me, because I told him off for picking a fight with Malfoy…But that's weird. He's usually only mad at one of us at a time."

I frowned thoughtfully. "You're right…He does that so he still has one of us to bitch about…"

"I'll ask Lily and see if anything's up. I'll let you know. Maybe he's just feeling like trying a new thing this week."

"Maybe," I nodded absentmindedly as Hugo walked away.

Walking outside I had to squint to block out the intense brightness of the endless fields of snow. I was distracted so I didn't see when Scorpius throw a huge snow ball right at my face. A big grin spread across his face as his eyes gleamed with pure delight.

"Malfoy." I used the edge of my sleeve of my coat to wipe the snow residue off my face. "I think you're cruising for a bruising."

He looked confused. "I'm what?"

I stalked over to him, "You are cruising," I sprung myself at him, knocking him to the floor and laying upon his chest. "FOR A BRUISING!"

"You weigh…a…mill-ion pounds." He told me in a monotone.

"Oh I do?" I pushed all of my weight into him. He didn't even flinch.

Scorpius nodded and his arms closed around me as tendrils of my orange hair fell on his face. "Yes."

"Well how do you like…" I leaned forward suggestively and then shoved the handful of snow I'd been hiding in my right hand in his face and down his shirt. "THAT?"

I was trying to run as far away from him as physically possible, but this became increasingly more and more difficult because he refused to let go of me. Scorpius's grip on me became tighter as he rubbed his face on my face. Squealing I squirmed in his grip and almost got away, but he took this opportunity to flip me over. He didn't put all of his weight onto me like I did to him. Effortlessly he rested all of his weight on his arms, his upper half hovering above me. A bright smile appeared on my face as he starred down at me. Of course, he wasn't wearing a hat so all the snow was falling in his hair and sliding down his slightly pink face.

He didn't kiss me. He never did. I always could tell he wanted to, but he never did unless it was in front of other people. The thing is I wanted him to kiss me. Every fiber of being felt on fire. I was deep in three layers of snow, we were both wearing layers, but I could still feel the outline of his body on mine. That was more than enough to get me going, but it wasn't the only reason I wanted his lips on mine. The way he looked at me now was different from before. And I'd seen him smile and laugh more times this week than I had in the past seven years. I actually had really grown to like him. Oddly enough.

"So are you comfortable? Because I feel like you're going to sneeze on my face." I told him as blushed at his closeness.

He looked down at me in disbelief. "Did you seriously just say that?"

"I'm just saying in this limited three inch space it's a possibility."

"Well Weasley, if you want me off of you. You should ask."

I cupped a small handful of snow behind his back. "And how should I ask that?"

"Well you should say, Scorpius, you handsome, superior man. As much as I want you and need you, It's simply too temping for you to seduce me in this manner and I ask you as a gentlemen to take yourself out of the scenario for the time being."

"Scorpius you handsome, superior, idiot." I slammed a huge snowball in his unsuspecting face. "I'm sorry it had to happen this way."

While he was distracted, I snuck out from under him and ran for the edge of the Forbidden Forrest by the Threshal's. He chased after me, but we instantly became less playful as we both went and petted the Threshal's. They were eating some spare apples Hagrid must have left, but they didn't seem to mind our presence.

"Who was it for you?" I asked, only slightly louder than the falling snow.

He sighed and wiped some snow off his face, "My grandmother. You?"

"My grandfather."

Neither of us asked how it happened or any more information. Instead we fell into a comfortable silence that he broke once we walked away from the Threshal's.

"Do you want a big family?"

I shrugged, "Not big. Not my family's big."

"You seem like one of those girls who has their whole life planned ahead of them."

"I guess."

He put his hands in his pockets. "How would you rank them? Career, marriage and family. I'm curious."

"Okay um, Career, Kids…then I guess marriage."

"How many redheaded kids will you bear to torment the world?"

I kicked some snow at him half-heartedly. "I think I'll have three. Two girls, one girl and a huge dog. The girls will be older and look like me. They will tease their father and dress up their little brother with make-up. Oh and the boy has to look just like his dad."

"Why would you want that?"

I smiled. "I don't know I've just always thought it was sweet when little boys look just like their dad's. Especially since my baby daddy is going to be a hottie."

"Let me get this straight Weasley," He began snottily as he followed me onto a log that was over a frozen ravine. "You haven't planned on getting married, but you have the whole rest of your family planned?"

I shrugged and walked down the log like it was a tight rope. "I can't plan on a man. That's the one area that could go terribly wrong no matter what I do. So I plan the rest so any guy can fit into it or no guy at all. What about you?"

"Exact opposite."

My eyes almost popped out of their sockets from shock and I nearly tripped into a ravine. "You want to get married? You?"

"Yes. I do."

I took a step back. "Okay, I can't resist. What kind of wedding would you have? Big? Small?"

"Big wedding."

"You HAVE to be pulling my leg. I can't see that at all!"

He shrugged. "Go big or go home. I either believe in it enough where I want to show it off to a bunch of people or I don't believe in it at all."

"Wow, you are arrogant in every area aren't you?"

I turned and saw him walk across without staggering or looking down. He had perfect balance. "No, I just know what I want. You can't tell me you hate marriage."

"No. I don't. I just believe in elopement. Divorce is so common I wouldn't want to flaunt it in people's faces if I fail." I replied honestly.

"You're that afraid of failure?" His tone wasn't judging. It was just soft.

I stepped down and leaned back against a tree. "I don't know what it is, but honestly I don't see how people do it. They make it seem simple; you're with someone long enough you get married. But what they don't mention is that at that moment you're putting everything that you are on the line for this one other person. It's more than dressing up and saying a lot of pretty little words. It means something and in my family they have taken it seriously, but not everybody else does. I can't expect the world to act like my family."

"You might not want to share your thoughts with your cousin." He murmured with a smile.

"Teddy's basically family anyway. He really doesn't count. Everyone that's a friend of the family eventually marries in somehow."

Scorpius made a face, "That's weird."

"I know!"

"So you're above marrying a family friend?" He stopped me and rested his arms on my shoulders.

I shook my head. "I'm not _above_ it. I just don't want to marry someone unless it's worth it…Anyway! Enough of the marriage talk. We are seventeen! We are too young to be talk about marriage."

"I am not seventeen."

"What do you…" I stopped and let out a loud laugh. "It's your birthday!"

He rolled his eyes. "It's not a big deal."

"Of course it is idiot. I love birthdays! What do you want to do?"

"Nothing."

I was annoyed. "…You want to do nothing? …On your birthday…You want to sit in your room…Wearing all black…doing nothing."

"Birthday's are overrated."

"Okay, what did you do on your best birthday?" I quizzed him,

He scowled. "Weasley, just drop it."

"Just answer the question."

"Fine, I was eight my dad took me to cannon's game and my mom made me a cake."

The air around us was quiet. We were far enough into the Forbidden Forrest for no one else to be around, but not too far enough in where there were scary magical creatures floating about. It was the only time we've ever been truly alone. It was nice to be alone. We were more comfortable with one another and we didn't fight as much because we didn't have to be anything, but ourselves with one another. I'd learned a lot about Scorpius in the past few weeks, but one thing I'd noticed more recently was how normal things like birthday's escaped him. He knew how to dance, which forks were used for proper dinning and how to dress well, but he didn't really no how to …have fun.

"Now promise me you'll just play along."

He titled his head down at me condescendingly. "When did I say anything about going along with anything?"

"Right now." I gave him a puppy dogface. "Come ON! You wouldn't have told me of all people it was your birthday if you didn't want me to do something about it. So accept your fate and come with me."

His grey eyes focused on my outstretched hand for a moment longer than necessary, but eventually his hand grabbed it. It was funny. I was wearing some dark blue fuzzy gloves that matched my buttoned down coat. He, on the other hand wore, black leather, proper gloves that went well with his long coal colored coat. We walked hand and hand into the castle and I marched him right up to the fifth floor. When we got there he gave me a look.

"What? Are you going to give me a sponge bath?"

I smacked him across the chest. "There's more on the fifth floor then the loo."

"Like what empty classrooms?"

"Ah how about the Room of Requirement?"

He frowned. "Oh."

"Why are you frowning? Stop!" I grabbed his face in my hands. "You are going to be happy today not matter how used you are to misery."

"How do you suggest accomplishing that?"

I smiled and unbuttoned my coat. "Close your eyes."

"When I open my eyes, are you going to be naked?" He grinned mischievously.

"Sadly no. Now close your eyes."

He did as I asked, though he did hesitate at first.

"Now I want you to think of something small. Something you've always wanted and is possible to get but you've never gotten. I'll give you an example ever since Hugo was little he's always loved blue tennis shoes. Don't ask me why, he's weird. Anyway. When was thirteen I asked him what he wanted and he said he wanted to wear some and skip around in them for a bit. I brought him here and we did just that. So Malfoy I'd like you to bear with me and just think of something."

After pausing he smiled. "I got it."

A door appeared for the room of requirement. "Okay, ready?"

"Ready."

A loud, obnoxious laugh escaped my lips as I saw a huge kid pool filled with pudding. "What do you want to do in there?"

"I've always wanted to swim in pudding." He admitted sheepishly.

Throwing my coat aside, I took off my gloves, shoes, socks, hat, scarf and sweater. "Come on."

"You can't be serious," He froze, "We can't jump in there."

"Why not?"

Scorpius stumbled for a reason. "Because."

"See that's your problem Malfoy. You think that if something isn't proper you can't do it. You'd be willing to put everything you have on the line for a chick, but you won't jump in a pile of pudding."

"It's different."

I crossed my arms. "Yeah it is, but it's still the same principal. Come on. Try it. If you don't like it you can take a shower and say at least you tried it."

"I don't know."

"Well I do. I think it's a brilliant idea." I cupped his pale face in my even paler hands and starred into his eyes. "Your birthday is the one day a year where you are supposed to celebrate and have childish ridiculous fun. If you don't want to I won't make you, but it's your birthday wish and I think you should." I didn't notice before but his face was perfectly still. I frowned. "Are you okay?"

His hands slipped around my waist. "Are you going to come with me?"

"If you want me to."

"Okay. Deal." Then without another word, he picked me up by the back of my knees, lifted me onto his chest and walked with me into the kid pool.

I death gripped his back, and clamped onto him for dear life. "Malfoy, I don't mind you dropping me, but for the love of Merlin be careful…"

"You scared?" His breath tickled the small hairs on my neck.

"No." My voice betrayed me. "Not at all."

He made me loosen my grip and he rested his cool forehead against mine. "I trust you, you trust me right?"

"Right."

Then, without any warning he dipped me so I was an inch above the pudding. "You sure about that?"

"Are you?"

He said nothing. Instead he gave me a barely there kiss and he dropped me into the pudding. I landed on my ass; the pudding stopped right under my boobs, but still managed to splatter all over my face. I licked some of it off.

"Tastes good." Rapidly, I jerked forward and pulled him down into the pudding pool.

Face first, he fell into the pudding and at first he just laid there then as I started laughing he began to embrace it. He was too big to do big laps, but he managed to swim around me a few times. Of course he had perfect swimming posture. By the time he doggy paddled over to me I was crying I was laughing so hard. I took out my wand, which was dripping in pudding and flicked all the pudding off his face.

"Well? How did that feel?"

He pulled me onto his lap, and tugged me closer to him. His face was full of childhood wonderment. "It was great."

"Does it top a Cannon's game?"

"Not quite yet?"

I sighed, "Well what would make it better? I told you-"

Bluntly, he pressed his pudding-covered finger on my lips to stop me from speaking. "I need to ask you something."

"Shoot."

"What do you want?"

I scrunched my face up in puzzlement. "What do you mean?"

His arms locked around me and he tucked one of my stray hairs behind my ear. "I want something. Something I never thought I'd want. And I would like to know what you want."

"Give me my options."

"One, I kiss you." His voice was low.

I shrugged, "You've kissed me before."

"Not like how I want to."

"How do you want to kiss me?" My breath caught in my throat.

"Answer my question and I'll answer yours." Scorpius told me self-assuredly.

My first kiss was an accident. I'd been leaning in to his him on the cheek when Dan Roberts kissed my lips. Our first date was awful. We had zero chemistry. His lips were too small. They were also unnaturally chapped and dry. For weeks I'd been starring at Scorpius's lips and I knew that his were perfectly moisturized and strong. I'd kissed him before so I knew what it would be like. But the way he said that this was different brought a new curiosity out of the closet. What could possibly be different kissing him this time?

My interest overwhelmed my nervousness. I gulped and starred into his intense, straightforward eyes and responded. "I want you."

"Good."

If my heart were on a monitor, healers would have rushed in from all over the hospital. If I thought how we kissed before was good. This wasn't even on the chart. Scorpius was one of those people that when he set his mind on something he put his full energy into it. This was no different. He tasted like cinnamon and milk and he didn't wait to be asked. As soon as my lips parted his tongue went right for mine. He was a man who knew what he wanted and got it. I couldn't get enough of it. My hands instantly went for his hair. It was the only part of him that wasn't perfect. He let his hair lie however it wanted and I loved running my hands through it. His mouth became uncompromising as his hands traced the lines in my back; down my spin, under my bra, his hands seemed to be memorizing everything. As our kissing became more feverish we abruptly stopped when we both realized we were no longer in the pool. When I pushed him back on what I thought would be the side of the pool tub instead he fell back on a mattress.

Now we were on king sized bed, with golden sheets and a plethora of fluffy pillows. Scorpius was flat on his back, and where was I? On top of his hips, blushing my ass off.

"Uh…." I gulped.

He put his arms behind his head arrogantly. "Well, this room is certainly growing on me."

"Pig!" I snorted as I smacked him.

"Now is that anyway to treat the birthday boy?"

I rolled my eyes. "Oh please…Hey all of the pudding is gone."

"That happened after I unclasped your bra."

"WHAT?" I immediately reached for my bra and I was infuriated to find it perfectly intact. "YOU ASSHOLE!" He put up his hands over his face in defense as I slapped him repeatedly. It didn't faze him he had a good time laughing at my panic attack.

Scorpius finally grabbed my arms and stopped me. "Oh come on Weasley, you can't get pregnant from loosening someone's bra."

"I know that thank you."

"Oh do you?" He eyed me suggestively.

"Fuck you Malfoy."

"I've been trying."

I laughed at that. "Ah huh."

"Don't tell me you haven't been thinking about it."

"I'm getting down now."

Scorpius cackled as I laid down next to him. The ceiling acted like the Great Hall, but instead of showing the falling snow it showed the stars. His arm lifted and shifted under my neck. Instinctively, I shifted onto my side and rested on his chest.

"Look at all these muscles." I mocked squishing his toned arms.

He stroked my hair absentmindedly. "Are you jealous?"

"Of what?"

"All of this!" He joked jokingly flexing his arms, which were more attractive than funny.

I snorted and started shaking with laughter. "Oh yeah."

For a minute I felt something I hadn't felt before. It wasn't comfort. It wasn't quite security. It was just…safe. In his arms, the whole world could come crashing down on me and I wouldn't care. Even when we were calm like this, it still was more vivid and more passionate than anything else in my life. Every heart beat. Every breath was like the bolt of power, giving me energy to do anything.

It scared the shit out of me.

"You okay?" He asked suddenly tipping my face up towards his.

I couldn't answer.

"What's wrong?

"I'm just waiting."

Scorpius traced my jaw line wistfully. "Waiting for what?"

"The world to come crashing down."

"Does that happen to you often?" He joked tonelessly.

I held onto him tighter. "Whenever things are going too well. Yes."

"I wouldn't worry about it. We're happy now."

"The world won't stand for it. Watch I give it a day."

Gently, Scorpius tipped my face towards his. "Weasley, people are always going to try and stop us. The difference is I'm not going to let them."

"Color me shocked." I let out a breath of surprise. "Was that pudding alcoholic? Are you feeling sick? I put my hand on his forehead to check his temperature. "I think you might be going crazy."

"Maybe."

I checked my watch and jumped up. "Let's go, I'm hungry."

In a rush, he bolted off the bed and picked me up. I was laughing so hard I forgot to hold on. It didn't matter, he carried me like I was weightless. Whatever the consequences, I decided on February 9th that this was worth it.


	11. Happy

Sitting in Potions, I began to miss Albus. Sure he'd ignored me before, but never for this long. I loved to bash on Albus. I'd been doing it since we were little. He would poke me, I would poke him, he would get mad and then we'd forgive each other. This time it was obvious that until I did something he was going to stand his ground. This is the cold war. We were talking a lot of shit, act like we were going to do something about it and stay the hell away from each other.

The problem was I was tired of fighting with him. I could date a million guys, but Albus would always be my cousin. Maybe for once I could reason with him. I couldn't stand to go another day without trying. The notebook of unused Mad Libs were still sitting at the bottom of my bag, wanting to be used. So as soon as class finished I turned in my class work and followed after him. He could try to avoid me, but I was thinking of going for an approach I'd never thought of. Honesty.

"Al!"

He turned and frowned when he saw I was the one calling for him. "I have to get to class."

"Can I talk to you?" I asked hugging my bag to my chest.

"I have to get to class."

Grabbing his arm, I dragged him into the nearest broom closet. "Albus, can you please just talk to me?"

He tilted his head to the side and glared furiously at the ceiling. "Rose, I really don't have time for this."

"Can you please just look at me?" I gently moved his face towards mine. "Albus, this is stupid. You're my best friend. Can we please make up?"

"Have you broken up with Malfoy?"

My jaw tightened in anger. "Really? Seriously?"

"Your father will disown you for this and you know the family will back him. It's just a matter of time. Just don't bring Hugo down with you."

"Hugo?" I was crestfallen. What the hell did my brother have to do with anything?

Albus scratched his five o'clock shadow in annoyance. "Your brother stepped in the middle of me and Malfoy. Now I know he would have never done that before so the only reason he would have done so his because of his loyalty to you."

"Why are you doing this?"

"You know why-"

"NO!" Tears broke in my face as I used every ounce of my willpower to keep my eyes on his. "Why are you doing this? You don't hate him this much…" My voice shook as I unashamedly cried. "You don't hate me this much."

Albus's resolve wavered at the sight of my genuine tears, but he held on. "I have to go to class."

And then he moved around me and left through the open door. I seriously considered just leaving Hogwarts, but I didn't even make it out of the room. Instead I slid down the dusty cabinet to the floor and stayed there. I should have gotten up. I was supposed to go meet up with Kelly about something or another. But the longer I sat there the harder it became to even consider moving. How do you fix your relationship with someone when they don't even care that it's broken?

Fate, as always, had it out for me. As I was sulking to myself Aiden and his little girlfriend walked by. And where did they stop to be all cutesy? Right in my line of vision. How predictable. Just as he kissed her button nose and she stood on her tiptoes to reach his face, it finally hit me. Not like slap in the face hit me. It was like someone had thrown a bucket of hot water on me, hit me.

I wasn't in love with him anymore. The reason I was so upset wasn't because I wanted him back or have him suddenly want me. I just didn't want to have to see him shower his new girlfriend with attention. It wasn't the girl. It wasn't even the guy. It was the fact that it proved how replaceable everything in this world was. In a minute everything can change and everything you thought you knew could be gone. Humans are built to adapt for survival. Aiden and I were not compatible so we moved on. I didn't want that to happen to Albus and I. I didn't want that to happen between my family and I. With my family I knew it would take more than me dating someone they disapproved of, but it took much less than that to dissuade Albus.

I waited for the happy couple to move and then I made myself get up. There was nothing to be gained from sitting in this dingy room. Better to sulk in the comfort of my room then here if I had to sulk at all. On my way to my dorm I spotted Hugo about to kiss this blonde chick. The last thing I wanted to see was my little brother macking on a girl. Letting Hugo hang out with James his whole youth was the worst idea I've ever had. At the time I thought he just need a guy to talk to about his problems that wasn't Albus. Now I saw that by putting him under James's wing I directly contributed to his womanizing ways. I suppose I could have done worse. I could have sent him to dad and have half the female population insulted.

Inside my common room, I laid down on the couch and covered myself with a blanket. In the quietness of the room, I starred at the fire and listened to the fire crackle. Quickly I fell into a deep and comfortable sleep. The sofa felt like home. It had this soft, but firm feel to it that always consoled me.

_I was in class, dressed in my Weasley sweater and jeans. Scorpius was in the seat in behind me along with Lily, Albus and Hugo. Lily, Hugo and Albus were in their Hogwarts uniform. Scorpius and I weren't. This struck me as odd, but the weirdest part was that my father was upfront. He was dressed in a tweed sweater vest and jacket with a bright carrot color tie, an outfit he never would wear. Behind him were the words final exam. A wave of panic it me. What was this exam even on? I was about to ask when Lily stood up and left._

"_Where are you going?"_

_She smiled at me and told me. "I passed."_

"_You passed what?" She swung her long red hair and walked away. "YOU PASSED WHAT?"_

_I was about to run after her when Hugo stood up. "See ya sis."_

"_Now where are you going?"_

"_I passed," Was all he said before flashing me a warm smile and following Lily's lead._

_Facing my father, I hoped he could give me some kind of an idea what was going on. "Dad what did they pass?"_

"_The test." He answered simply._

"_What test? Albus! Where the hell are you going?" I stood up to stop him, but he shoved me off of him and continued through the door._

_Reaching for the door, I twisted the knob, but it wouldn't turn. "Why won't this door open?"_

"_Because you haven't passed the test."_

"_WHAT TEST?"_

_I was about to go over to him when I took a glance at Scorpius. He was looking down at his desk. His face was detached and emotionless. This was an expression he held often, but the problem was it didn't waver when he saw me looking at me. All there was between us was air and space. _

"_Scorpius, what's going on?"_

_He shook his head, his blonde hair flicking over to the side of his face. Instinctively I moved to brush it back over when he jerked away from me. "Don't."_

"_Scorpius…what."_

"_He's never going to pass us."_

_I was confused. "Wait, what, why?"_

_His hand gripped mine and his eyes filled with tears. "Wake up, Weasley."_

I jumped awake and found Scorpius lightly shaking me. "Wasgonnaon?" I slurred hurriedly.

"Your mother wants to see you."

"My mother?" I starred at him dazed.

He nodded and pulled me to my feet. "She's outside."

Inhaling sharply, I followed him to the portrait hole and found my mother standing there. Her face was frantic. "Rose, I need to speak with you."

"Clearly," I wiped the sleep from my eyes. "What's so urgent?"

"Alone please." She asked Scorpius kindly.

He nodded and went up the stairs to his room politely.

My mum sat down on the couch. "Your cousin just sent me a letter."

"Which cousin?" I questioned already knowing that answer.

"Albus," Her brown eyes bore into mine. "But your father opened it before I got home."

"Oh Merlin! What did it say?"

She sighed and gave me an all-knowing look. "Albus wrote that you were dating Scorpius Malfoy."

"I'm pretty sure it's more crude than that if you came all the way down here."

"Rose, why don't you tell me what's going on?" She gestured for me to sit down next to her as she fixed her ponytail.

I let out a sigh. "It's complicated, but for all intent and purposes yes we are together."

Cringing, she leaned forward and grabbed my hand. "Where did this come from?"

"I don't know…How is dad taking it?"

"Not well."

I groaned. "Great."

"Rose, I'm never going to ask you to break up with him. If he's who you want then I'm supportive."

"Why do I feel that ever hovering, '_but,_' in the air?"

Her childlike smile popped up on her stressed face. "Rose, you know how your father feels about this. I'm not saying I approve, but I'm warning you before you get too attached that if this becomes serious that this will not be easy."

I starred into her sweet, kind eyes and felt I could not lie to her. I could lie to everyone in the world, even myself, but I could never lie to her. "Mum, I already am attached."

"Oh …" Her face looked crestfallen. "How attached are you?

"Attached enough where I can't just stop it." Falling back on couch my head, I starred at her agonized face. "How bad is it?"

"I'll…I'll talk to him."

"What are you going to say?"

She hugged me into her side. "Oh I don't know. I'm sure I'll think of something."

"Mum, I know you're persuasive, but somehow I don't think it will work this time."

"We will see…Maybe I'll ask your grandmother to make him pot roast. You know that always softens him up." She joked lightly.

I smiled as she ran her fingers through my hair. "Dad's going to get over this right?"

"I'm more worried about you and Albus." She glanced down at me in concern. "He said some pretty hateful things."

"Yeah well he always finds something to be mad at me about."

"He just always wants you to be the best person you can be from his perspective. Now how are your grades? Have you sent in all of your applications? Did you-"

"Yes mum! I sent them all in and I'm getting all O's." I rolled my eyes. "I'm more concerned with dad. I don't want him to come here and go on a killing spree."

"Well you wouldn't be the one he would be killing…" She told me tactlessly.

"I know."

My mum hugged me tightly and kissed my forehead. "I'll owl you later, but Rose be careful okay? You tend to get too emotionally involved in these things."

"Okay mum." I scoffed not even bothering to hide my anger.

"Love you too sweetie." She let out a drawn out sigh. "You know I never get this many problems from Hugo."

I smacked her arm half-heartedly. "That's because Hugo's too busy chasing skirts to get into actual trouble."

"I do not need to know that."

"Neither did I, but I still know about it."

She gave me one final hug and stood up. "Well I have work to do at home and now that your father is in a mood I'll have to hear him sighing all evening."

"Nice," I scoffed. "I'm glad to see were I get my anger from.

"I'll talk to you later. I love you honey."

I smiled, "I love you too mum."

She went over to the fire and left. I felt exhausted. My dad must have really lost it for my mother to physically come to me to find out the truth. Usually she just sent me weekly letters to find out how I was doing to make sure I was on the right track. It was funny anyone else could hassle me about my school activities and I would get mad, but not my mum. Her rapid thirst for excellence had been drilled into me since birth, but I didn't let it get to me.

I walked up the stairs to my room, but when I got up to the stairs and walked through the door I realized I went the wrong way. Everything was just ever so slightly different, but I thought I was just off. When I opened the door, I found Slytherin dressings and Scorpius lying down on his bed shirtless.

"Oh um…I'm sorry. I must have just…I'm going to go-"

He snickered at me. "Why?"

"Cause…" I looked away from his ridiculously toned chest, as my face grew redder and redder. "I meant to go to my room…."

"Why are you blushing?"

I scowled. "I'm not….I'll see you later."

He was on his feet in an instant. Before I could reach the door, he squeezed into the doorframe and was inches from my face. "What did your mum want?"

"My dad knows, about me and you." I spluttered before I could stop myself. "Apparently Albus wrote her."

"What did he say?" His eyes seared into mine, as a smirk popped up onto his face.

"I don't know." I breathed deeply, "She didn't say the exact words."

His mouth looked so enticing, it was just sitting there, four inches above my face, waiting for me. Below that I couldn't stop starring at the curve of his jaw. Then, the light triangle of freckles below the hollow of his right eye. I fought it hard, but I could feel the pull of his eyes on mine and finally I broke. When our eyes finally locked I couldn't stop myself. Everything about him drew me in. We could go days kissing each other, but it wouldn't matter. Every time I was near him my skin felt on fire. I didn't just want to kiss him. I just needed to kiss him, but I couldn't just give in.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Same reason you're looking at me like that." He retorted arrogantly.

I glared at him. Why was he doing this to me? "Think you could let me pass?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

His grin grew. "Because you're attached to me."

"Well I had to say that didn't I? It's a part of the façade."

"Not to your mother. You could have told her you were helping me out."

I shook my head. "She would have thought it was stupid and wouldn't have understood."

"So you're going to let your parent's think you're dating me?"

"Yep."

His hands went onto my shoulders. "You don't have to do this."

"I know I don't."

"Weasley, if I asked you out without the threat of Rachel, what would you have said?"

My knees felt weak as my shoulders tensed under his touch. "I would have been confused. As you have always made it perfectly clear how you feel about me."

"Have I?" His voice became low. "How do I feel about you?"

I opened my mouth but ended up gaping and never found the answer.

"You said it was clear and I've never seen you speechless." He smiled, exposing his adorable dimples.

"Well there's a first thing for everything…but let me ask you something what if Rachel decided that you weren't the effort? What if she gave up? What would you do then?"

He bent forward, his muscles flexed like a well oiled machined. "Meaning would I still pretend to be with you?"

"Yes."

"I would do more than that."

A cockiness I rarely felt fueled me as I leaned closer to him. "Oh really? And what _would_ you do?"

"Well," He began before his lips came crashing down on mine.

As soon as we touched his arms slipped down to my lower back and mine linked around his neck. Without thinking about it I jumped up on him, he didn't need to steady me apparently my weight wasn't enough to make him stagger. Scorpius's mouth was firm and unyielding on my own. It was like he couldn't bear to have me as close as possible. Before I knew it he had me pinned against the wall and my blouse was unbuttoned. I knew I should have stopped, but I couldn't. My hormones were at an all time high and everything he was doing was making that high grow taller and taller.

All of a sudden, he pulled me off of him and put me on his bed. His breathing was heavy and erratic as he starred at me with a longing I'd never seen before.

"You…" He started, but stopped gulping to himself.

"What?"

Scorpius moved to the farthest wall away from me. "If you kept kissing me like that I wouldn't be able to stop myself."

"Stop yourself from what?"

He glared at me darkly. "Don't play dumb. It doesn't suit you Weasley."

"Why would you have to stop?" My voice wavered but my will didn't.

"Excuse me?"

I sighed. "Never mind." I began to re button up my blouse.

"Aren't you a virgin?"

"No. I'm not." Comprehension hit me later then it should've. "Wait you thought-"

Scorpius nodded and sat next to me.

"Even if I was you didn't have to stop. I'd tell you to stop if I didn't want it." I grabbed his hand and intertwined it with mine.

He smiled at our hands, "So you want this?"

I grabbed his face and kissed him intently. "Yes."

He lifted me into his lap and hugged me tightly. His face rested on mine as his arms locked around me. "This doesn't make any sense."

"I know," I laughed. "Half the time I want to rip your throat half."

"And the other half you want to rip my shirt off."

I smacked his back half-heartedly. "You're an idiot."

"You smell good."

"Thank you?"

He snickered, "What perfume do you where?"

"I use body wash…I think its some kind of a flower."

"Huh," Scorpius fell back on the bed with me still plastered on top of him. "Oops."

I shook with laughter, as he wouldn't let me go. "Release me!"

"Fine!"

His arms loosened and I took this opportunity to lock down his arms and his torso with my knees. "What now?"

"You realize you're wearing a skirt right?"

Immediately, I blushed and moved of off him and started slapping his chest. "Asshole!"

"You did it to yourself!"

After a few minutes of struggle we calmed down and I relaxed into his bare chest. His hand ran through my hair as counted the freckles on his stomach. It was peaceful and…nice. Then he looked at his watch and groaned. "I have to leave."

"What time is it?"

"Six."

I frowned and then remembered. "Oh yeah you have practice tonight."

"Sorry."

"Don't be." I moved and kissed him. Then I got up and was about to re button my shirt when I saw that he had broken the blouse all together. "Do you have something I can borrow?"

"Sure pick whatever you want," He gestured to his closet as he pulled his practice jersey over his head.

This was like an out of body experience. Here I was looking through Scorpius Malfoy's clothes, in his room, after I just snogged the hell out of him.

"You could wear my jersey." His voice sounded oddly hopeful, but his face was turned away from me so couldn't tell how accurate that was.

I groaned hollowly. "Yeah. No. I would get shot."

Scorpius grew quiet and I didn't let it affect me. I'm sure he was offended, but come on. He wouldn't have worn my jersey around school either. Wearing a Slytherin jersey would not only get me kicked off the Gryffindor team, but it would have also been a huge F-U to every Gryffindor that liked me. So I found a green sweater that I'd never had seen him wear.

"What's this?"

"Oh my mum gave it to me for Christmas. It doesn't fit anymore." I moved to put it back when he frowned. "Why don't you wear that?"

Embarrassed I shrugged, "Well your mum gave it to you. I feel like she didn't intend for you to let just anybody wear it since it's a present."

"I'm sure she won't care."

"Oh yes she will." I told him knowingly. "Women care about that stuff."

He dragged on his sweats and wrapped his arm around me. "I know they do. I don't think she will care." His voice dropped sincerely, "You aren't just anybody Weasley."

A huge, unending smile broke out on my face as he kissed the top of my head. "I'll see you later."

"Bye."

Tugging off my blouse, I pulled on his sweater and walked back to my room. I threw off my skirt and pulled on a pair of sweats that matched the sweater. Originally I just wanted to wear something for a few minutes, but once I had it on I never wanted to take it off. It smelled like him. His distinctive cologne was a musky mixture of apple and lavender. Going to dinner I was in a fog. I didn't care what Albus did. I didn't care what my dad thought. I was happy.

Scorpius wasn't when he got back from practice. I was working on my schedule for the prefects when he came in soaked, sore and bitter.

"Fucking idiots." He spat sitting across from me. "You'd think they thought the quaffle was a bomb."

I gave him a pensive look. "I would ask if you want to talk about it, but given we're on opposite teams..."

"Yeah." He scoffed bitterly. "Thick heads…"

"Why don't you go shower? The water will take your mind off of it." I told him sympathetically.

He nodded curtly. "You're right."

While he showered, I finished my work and started reading one of the chick flicks books Kelly always tried to push on me. It was awful. The boy swept the girl off her feet. They lived happily ever after. The end. I dropped the book quickly. It was easy to see what Kelly liked in it, but it wasn't my type of book. Suddenly I had the urge to get a different book from the library. I left a note to tell him where I went. The library didn't close for another hour so I ran in quickly. It didn't take long for the book I was looking for.

"I'm sorry." A voice announced behind me.

I turned and was shocked to find Aiden behind me. "Excuse me?"

"I should have waited."

Looking around I was confused. "…For the librarian to get back?"

"No." He frowned. "For what I did to you."

"Oh…that."

"…I don't know why I did it."

"I do," My face grew somber. "You wanted to hurt me like I hurt you."

Shame filled his face as he looked at me. "I'm sorry."

"I appreciate that."

"You aren't going to forgive me are you?"

I sighed softly and frowned. "I still loved you with every piece of my heart. I wanted you, but I didn't want us to end on bad terms."

"That was naïve."

"I know." I laughed humorlessly. "I should have expected you to do something to make yourself feel better."

He curled his lips over his teeth thoughtfully. "Are we ever going to be friends?"

"Eventually… maybe."

"Does it make it easier that I love her?"

I waited for my stomach to clench in pain at that acclamation. It didn't. I was disappointed, but not upset. There was a part of me, the part that believed in that in spite of everything good things can still happen, that believed that guy I fell in love with was still there. Looking at him, I knew he wasn't. He changed. Now he didn't shave and let his facial hair grow freely. He used to look more like an adult, wear polo's and pressed jeans, but now he dressed like a teenager. It made me realize that maybe we were too serious for him. Maybe he needed someone that didn't take the relationship so seriously. Maybe he needed someone who wouldn't take the future so seriously. One thing was sure, we didn't need each other and we weren't the people we were meant for. In that moment, I let go off any remaining hate and smiled at him.

"It doesn't make it better, but I'm happy for you."

His eyebrows rose. "Really?"

"Yes I am."

"Well, I would say I'm happy for you too, but I'm not a big fan of Malfoy's."

I laughed sincerely this time, "Join the club. I'm pretty sure Albus is the president."

"But," He corrected himself, "If you're happy then I'm happy for you."

"Well look at you being mature."

Aiden made a face at me. "I try."

"Well then from now on we can be civil."

"Deal." He put out his hand and I shook it. Then without a word he tossed me into a hug.

I patted him awkwardly on the back. "I have to go."

"Thank you Rose."

"For what?"

He smiled. "For not hating me."

I nodded and left. Walking in the empty corridor, I felt a smile build on my face. Tonight, was the first night in a long time that I would go to bed angry.


	12. The Way it Ends

"I keep waiting for it to happen." Scorpius muttered as I slipped under his bed covers.

"Waiting for what?"

His arm pulled me into me as he starred idly at the ceiling. "Your father to run in here."

"I just got over it." I snuggled into his shoulder. "It's been three days. If he's going to do something whatever."

"Easy for you to say. You're not the one who's going to be castrated."

I snorted. "You'll be alright."

"If gets to be to be too much," He started seriously, "We can stop this."

"I know."

We were in the perfect transition. We hadn't gotten far physically or emotionally. Nothing was too serious. He was right. I'm at the point where if I needed to back out, I could. It would hurt, but it would be a pinprick compared to what it could become. Neither of us had taken this too far. No one has said anything more meaningful then, I'll see you later.

It was weird, but I could feel the power of what we could be; it was this like this dark, powerful pull that was coming closer and closer the longer I stayed with him. Us becoming more than just snogging mates seemed inevitable. Even when we weren't friends there was still this magnetic energy dragging us together. So the question was, was it better to save us the hard ache and give up now or was this worth an actual try?

If it came down to it and I had to choose between a guy and my family I would chose my family. This was always a simple answer, but as I laid there listening to his thumping heart it didn't seem like it. In my head I catalogued what I hated and liked about him

Negatives:

-Always thinks he's right

-Is serious nearly all of the time

-Knows exactly what to say to drive me crazy

-He's arrogant

-He knows how good he looks

-Almost beats me on every test forcing me to work harder to beat him

-He has too much self control, doesn't know how to let loose

-Knows what he wants and doesn't care what he has to do to get it

-Hides his feelings too well

-Walks around like he owns everything

Positives:

+Only person that can verbally keep up with me

+Is sweet when no one else is around

+Good sense of humor

+How ridiculous he looks when scrunches up his face in disgust

+How safe I feel when I'm with him

+How he can go from being rough and passionate while kissing me to gently holding me and kissing me

+How he doesn't just ask me questions to ask me questions, he actually wants to know more about me

+How comfortable he make me

+When holds me, he holds me as if he never wants to let me go

+Has the cutest dimples, ever

+Even when he's sweaty he smells great

+Makes me laugh

So here I was in my cupcake pajamas with a decision to make. Do I stay with a guy that makes me happy even though it makes my family unhappy? Or do I just assume it won't work out and end it now?

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing, just stuff."

He adjusted so he could look at my face. "Like what?"

"Do you think this is stupid? Should we just break up?" My voice dropped as I frowned.

"Logically we should."

I tensed. "So you want to?"

"No. I don't want to. Do you?"

"No. I don't want to."

He sighed and traced the side of my face. "I just wanted you to know that I would understand if you wanted to because of your family."

"I appreciate that, but…" I looked away from him. "I just…I need a better reason then that. I mean if you snogged another girl or your family disapproved then I would probably lean towards that decision…. It's just not a good enough reason to just stop this because my dad doesn't like it."

"Are you sure?" I starred into his eyes, his gorgeous, light grey eyes and saw every insecurity, every vulnerability clear.

"Yes." I smiled boldly.

He smiled back, his whole face lighting up with delight. "So," Scorpius dragged me closer to him. "Is this the part where we have sex?"

I laughed and smacked his arm. "Is that all you think about?"

"It's up there."

"Along with what? Quidditch and beating me on the next Charms test?"

He smirked. "Which I will do."

"Not a chance."

"What if I gained a hundred and fifty pounds?" I questioned him suddenly.

He considered this. "Well I couldn't lift you, but I'm sure most of that would go to your boobs so I wouldn't mind."

"Fine!" I tried to think of another dilemma, "What if I had to cut off all my hair, my boobs and take out my ovaries?"

"What procedure requires that?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Just answer the bullshit hypothetical question."

"Fine…I'd be bummed."

"Just bummed?"

He shrugged, "What would you do if I was castrated? No penis. No sex for you …ever."

"That's depressing…. " I frowned in thought. "It's completely gone?"

"Yep."

I rested my head on his shoulder. "I'd figure it out somehow."

"But you wouldn't leave?"

"Nah. I can't stand most men with penises. Maybe you would be more tolerable without one…." I teased him.

He glared at me. "Not funny."

"Fine. Well what would you do if you lost your legs?"

"Cry like a little girl." Scorpius laughed honestly. "I couldn't imagine not being able to walk or run whenever I pleased."

I nodded, "It is an alarming thought."

"This is an interesting game we've discovered."

"The, 'what would you do if,' game?" I had to agree. "It is quite the brain turner."

He stroked my hair carelessly, "I've got one. What would you do if you could work at the ministry?"

"Throw myself off the Astronomy tower…I love the ministry I've always loved the thought of being involved in something that can completely change someone else's life for the better."

"So you have no back up plan?"

I groaned. "I can't think of anything else. What do you want to do after Hogwarts?"

"You'll laugh."

"No I won't." I stuck out my thumb. "Thumb swear."

He starred at me like I'd grown horns. "What the hell is a thumb swear? Don't you mean a pinky swear?"

"No a thumb swear. They're more scared because thumbs are so ugly you couldn't possibly use them for anything else."

"Sometimes I legitimately think you need to be tested for insanity."

"Or," I interjected mid-chuckle, "I'm brilliant."

His tone was sardonic and full of doubt. "I guess."

"Come on, hug your thumb with mine."

"This is ridiculous." He protested easily.

"Exactly why it works! Now come on! Humor me." I asked him nicely.

Scorpius rolled his eyes. "Fine." His thumb hugged mine.

"Now what do you want to do after Hogwarts?"

"I want to be an Auror."

My eyebrows raised. "Huh."

"See! I knew you would think it was awful!"

"No," I shook my head. "I actually think you'd make a great Auror. You'd have the most organized case files in the whole department…I just think that it's going to be hard for you to get in for obvious reasons."

His face darkened. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know what I mean. I wish it weren't that way, but …they're going to see your name and stall you."

Suddenly he moved away from me and sat on the edge of his bed seething. "So, because I'm a Malfoy I don't just have to go through school here like a convict, but that follows me to the ministry is what you're saying?"

"Your name will follow you everywhere as will mine."

He let out a scathing, hollow laugh. "Your circumstance is different."

"It's still hard for me." I defended myself. "You try being the spawn of my parent's."

"Yeah, I'm sure it was just awful." He scoffed coldly.

I let out a sigh of frustration. "Fine. You want to be all angsty and self-pitying fine. You go right ahead. I'm going to go get lunch. Because I spent the whole morning cuddling with you and I want some damn pancakes."

"Rose-"

"Oh no!" I told him as I got up and stood in front of him. "I don't want to ruin your, 'woah is me,' moment!"

Storming out, I went to my room and changed into some sweats. It was freezing and I didn't even feel like bothering with normal clothes. When I came downstairs he wasn't there. He was probably still sulking upstairs, but I wasn't going to let it get to me.

Lauren wasn't at breakfast, but Kelly was so I sat next to her. Her nose was pressed in a book eagerly. Despite my undercurrent of anger I couldn't help laugh at her.

"Kell. It's Sunday. We don't have that test till Friday."

She nodded absentmindedly. "Yes, but last time I got a 96 on the exam."

"That's an O…" I starred at her in confusion as I piled food on my plate. "What's wrong with that?"

"You wouldn't know since you receive 100 percent, but Lauren got a 98 percent."

"Why do you care what she got?"

Kelly's eyes flashed with anger. "It's just not fair! I study my ass off, I try so hard and I still do worse than she does!"

"I don't know what to tell you." I shrugged and took a bite of some eggs.

"Well of course you don't! You study!"

"Is this just about school?"

She shook her little heart shaped face sadly. "I just…you both have boyfriends, are better at school then me and just have so much more going on then I do."

"Oh honey." I grabbed her hand, "We may have more going on, but everyone loves you. That's one thing you'll always have on us. Lauren can only glide through life for so long and let's be honest I could have hundreds of boyfriends, but when you get one it will be serious and meaningful. And when it comes to work you will get picked first because you work harder and have a better liked personality. You'll get farther in the long run."

Kelly leaned against me. "Thanks Rose."

"You just have to learn to let go of it. You're better than your hate."

"How are you?"

I swallowed my food and took a swig of orange juice. "Great."

"How is Scorpius?"

"Fine."

She chuckled under her breath. "Did you two have a fight?"

"Yep."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's no need to discuss what a condescending prick he can be." I chewed aggressively. "I think over the years he's made that redundant."

Kelly giggled at that and went back to her breakfast. "True."

"What are you up to today?"

She looked guilty. "Well I was going to study…"

"Well, now you're not." I informed her arrogantly. "I bet you haven't taken so much as a step outside of your room in weeks."

"Not without you." She admitted sheepishly.

I put down my fork and wiped my mouth. "Well come on. Let's have a girls day."

"What are we going to do?" She raised her eyebrows oddly cynical. "Paint our toes?"

"If you want to."

She shook her head. "I'm good. Want to just hang out in the common room and play wizard's chess?"

I grinned arrogantly and threw my arm around her. "Or we could play a game that you actually have a sporting chance at."

"Oh sod off." She snorted elbowing me in the side.

For a few hours, Kelly and I played games in the Gryffindor common room. It was nice to see her unwind and not worry so much. The thing about Kelly was she had so much potential. She could get everything she wanted. Sure she would have to struggle for a bit, but she would get it. There was just this certainty to her that she couldn't see in herself that shined clearly to the rest of us. Kelly was going to be someone someday and I couldn't wait to see that.

"Well Kelly. I'm afraid I have to leave you." I hugged her tiny form. "But don't fret, I will see you at dinner."

She grinned up at me. "Okay."

"And don't worry anymore okay? You're going to be just fine."

"Thanks Rose. I'll see you later."

I wandered around the castle for a bit. My feet steered me aimlessly as I starred around at the place I'd began to call home for seven years. So many things had changed since I first got here, but the feeling stayed the same. It was too cold to go up to the Ravenclaw tower, but I went up there anyway.

Halfway, up there I saw Scorpius sitting up there. I considered leaving, but I couldn't bring myself to do so. He looked so …dejected. I couldn't leave him. "You're in my spot you know."

His face lightened up at the sound of my face. "Hi."

"What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry." He groaned regretfully. "I didn't mean to lash out at you."

I sat down across from him, my hands in my pockets. "I understand your life is difficult and it's hard to put up with people constantly thinking the worst of you, but you have to stop caring what they think. You are a good person and your actions will speak for themselves if you let them."

He nodded sullenly.

"And I really despise it when you talk down to me like that. I'm not a child and you're not going to treat me like my life isn't as bad as yours. Even if it might be true don't do it."

"Okay… I'm sorry."

Swallowing my pride, I reached forward and grabbed his hand. "Me too."

"I have something for you." He admitted in an oddly shy voice.

"Okay," I gave him a skeptical look. "Is it chocolate?"

"No."

I scrunched my face in thought. "Is it a book?"

"No." He scooted closer to me and pulled out a jewelry box. My eyes quadrupled in size as he took the box and handed it to me. "Open it."

"Scorpius…What is that?"

He grinned at my terrified face. "Open it."

I just starred at it for a minute. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," He laughed. "Now would you please open it?"

I gave him a tentative look and gaped in shock when I saw what he got me. It was a silver heart shaped necklace with my initials on it. "You…I…"

Scorpius grinned amusedly. "I take it you like it."

"But why…why did you get me this?"

"Happy Valentines day."

I couldn't keep the smile off my face. It was so unnecessarily sweet. He didn't have to get me anything. "This is…You really didn't have to Scorpius."

"I know I didn't."

"Are you sure? I'm sure this costs too much."

He shook his head. "It didn't…Do you like it?"

"I love it! Are you joking? It's gorgeous….But are you sure you want me to have this?"

"Yes," He squeezed my hand reassuringly. "Want me to put it on you?"

"Yes!" I squealed whirling around in awe. "I can't believe you did this."

His breath tickled my neck as he lifted my hair and hooked the clip of the necklace. "Here you go."

"Thank you so much!" I gushed, feeling the necklace on my chest cool on my chest. "I can't believe you did this."

"You're welcome."

After a few seconds, I jumped into his lap and threw my arms around him. "You are unbelievable."

"Well I was in Hogsmede and I saw this." He tried to shrug it off like it was nothing.

"It already had my initials on it huh?"

"No," He blushed. "I had them add them."

I moved back so I could look at him. "Well thank you. I really appreciate it." Then I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him.

His whole body closed around me as we kissed. We kissed until are lips were swollen and the sun had gone down. We stopped when I could no longer feel my lips or my toes.

I pulled away from his jaw and kissed him a few more times before I finally stopped. "Come on. Let's get some food. I'm freezing."

"Alright," He kissed me. "One more." Scorpius grinned and kissed me again.

"If you start that we will never leave." I giggled happily, "Come on boy wonder." Pushing myself off the ground, I hauled him to my feet.

"You know you can pay me back for that gift in a few ways." He began arrogantly as his arm tightened around me. "One you can tell me how great I am. Two you can tell me how great I look. Three you can offer me sexual favors…"

I let out a loud laugh and smacked him the chest almost tripping down the stairs in the process. "I wonder which option you would prefer!"

"You may pick any option you desire." Scorpius feigned being reasonable.

"Why aren't you just considerate?" I scoffed sarcastically.

"One of my many qualities." He boasted pompously.

My mouth opened to retort this. It was one of our usual bickering matches. Nothing was any different about it, except that it wasn't. The second we reached the bottom of the staircase I froze in shock. Scorpius staggered and gave me a look.

"You okay? What's wrong?"

"I hoped your cousin was wrong." Ron Weasley seethed furiously in front of us. He looked completely unhinged. "But I guess I was the one who was wrong."

"Dad," I started not having an idea what I was going to say.

My dad didn't wait for me to finish. "You've given me no choice Rose. I won't let you sacrifice your future."

"Given you no choice? What does that even mean-?"

He raised his wand and pointed it at us.

"Wow! Dad! What the hell are you doing?" I yelled as Scorpius moved his body in front of me protectively.

"What I need to," His wand pointed directly at me and then without a flicker of hesitation he whispered, "Oblivate."

And every memory, every second that Scorpius and I had from the past month and a half was gone.


	13. I Don't Want to Be

_"Life is all about moments, of impact and how they change our lives forever,_  
><em>what if one day you can't remember any of them?"<em>

**-The Vow-**

* * *

><p>When I woke up for class my brain hurt, or more accurately my brain hurt. It felt like a train had decided to ram me in the temple repeatedly. What the hell did I do last night?<p>

Clutching my head I sat up in my bed and starred around my room. Something was…off. I couldn't put down what it was, but I felt it. Maybe, I drank too much the night before. The problem with that is that was I never drank and I would never start at school. So what the hell was it? I lifted up my clothes to see if I suddenly had any new scars or tattoos, there was nothing.

Rising from my bed, I practically crawled to my shower. The hot water pelted into my back as I tried to retrace my actions. It was like there was a hazy fog clouding my brain from remembering everything clearly. After a half hour of nearly drowning myself to try and make myself feel better I left the shower and pulled on my uniform. Even the sunlight was giving me a headache. I snatched some sunglasses from one of my drawers, planted them on my face and walked downstairs. I was surprised to find Malfoy walking out at the same time. Usually he left much earlier than I did.

"Before you say anything," I groaned at him, clutching my throbbing head. "I hate you too."

Malfoy's eyes narrowed. "Glad we have that covered."

"Well I thought I'd just say it and get it out of the way so we could get on with our days."

"What's with the shades Weasley? You impersonating a Blue's Brother?"

I stopped and leaned against a wall for support. "First of all I'm appalled that you know who the Blue's Brother's are. Second I feel like warm death."

"You do too?" He massaged his temples irritably.

"It's probably just a bug going around." I inhaled sharply and slung my bag over shoulder.

We left the room at the same time, which was weird, but that seemed to be the way things were headed this morning. I went to the Great Hall for breakfast and sat next to Albus.

"Pass the eggs." I ordered him as I laid my head on the cold table surface.

He gave me a look that I didn't quite understand, but I wasn't in the mood. "Just do it Albus."

"What's happening with you?" Hugo asked giving Albus and I a weird glance. He almost looked shocked to see us together. I don't know why, but then again Hugo was an odd one.

"I feel like woke up with an elephant on my face…why?"

"Here," Albus poured me some orange juice and passed me a plate of eggs. "What…um…What did you do yesterday?"

I closed my eyes to try and remember. "I can't remember…I know I hung out with Kelly for a bit…I don't know maybe I'm loosing it."

"Do we have Quidditch today?"

Albus nodded, "At eight"

I swallowed down some food and pulled out my planner.

**Monday:**

_+Breakfast: 9:20_

_+Potions: 9:45_

_+Lunch: 12:00_

_+Defense: 1:30_

_+Library: 3:30_

_+Dinner: 6:30_

_+Quidditch: 8:00_

_+Date: 10:00_

**Work On;**

_-Charms Paper_

_-Prefect Schedule_

"What the hell?"

"What?" Albus snapped his attention to me immediately.

I blinked at his intensity, but answered him anyway. "I wrote down that I have a date tonight…I don't have a date."

"Maybe…you wrote it in hope for one?"

Glaring at Albus, I smacked his shoulder. "Yeah, because I'm _that _sad."

"You've been known to make mistakes."

"Hugo, why are you looking at Albus like that? Did he try and steal one of your women?" I joked easily as I starred at my furious brother

"No," Hugo's eyes seared fiercely into Albus as he sat across from us. "He did something I completely and utterly don't approve of."

I leaned forward, concernedly. "Which was?"

"Why don't you ask him?"

Humoring Hugo, I turned to Albus. "Is there something you would like to share with the class?"

"Nope."

Hugo scowled. "Well, I hope your conscience catches up with you Albus."

"I understand your opinion Hugo." Albus told him sharply. "Now kindly fuck off."

"Merlin." I muttered under my breath as Hugo stalked off. "You two never fight."

Albus couldn't look me in the eye. "Yeah well it happens. Want to leave for potions?"

"Sure."

Albus insisted that it was nothing but I knew he was lying. There was something wrong and it wasn't just with Hugo. I could feel that something was missing. I just couldn't my finger on what it was. When I got to class it became worse. At first I just thought they were just looking at me because I was wearing sunglasses. But when I took them off not only did my headache grow, but so did my suspicion.

"Albus…is there something you want to tell me?"

"About?"

I glared at him. "Everyone keeps starring at me."

"They always do."

"_Not like this_…"

Albus gave my arm a reassuring squeeze. "I have no idea Rose."

"Hm."

I lowered my head down on my desk and was about to take a pre-class nap when I heard the whispering get louder. Rising, I glanced and saw Malfoy entered the room. What was the big deal? And why was everyone starring at us? We weren't going to start brawl in the middle of the room. What was everyone's problem? Forcing myself to turn around, I starred at the dark wall next to me. What was going on with me? Was I just hallucinating or was there something wrong here?

Through class I tried to figure out what it could possibly be but none of my ideas seemed to stick. I did my class work and tried to talk to Albus, but I couldn't shake this feeling. And it was like that all week.

Albus rarely left my side and when he did I would do things that seemed habitual to me that would force me to run into Malfoy. It started the day after I woke up with the headache. I went up to the Astronomy to clear my head and he was sitting there. Two hours later we ran into each other going to the kitchens and then again the next morning when I went to the library. And it didn't end there either. Every time I just went somewhere without much thought, there he would be with the same annoyed expression as me.

Today I finally had enough. I was about to leave for the Gryffindor common room when I saw him heading down his staircase. Marching up to him I began to formulate what I would say. By the time he reached the bottom step I was ready.

"What is your problem Malfoy?"

He gave me a look of contempt. "With you? Would you like a alphabetized list?"

"Everywhere I go you're there! And everyone whispers about us whenever we're in a room together. What the hell is going on?"

"First of all," He started arrogantly, "I would never follow you Weasley. Who knows what kind of havoc would await me if I trailed you into one of your dreary book club meetings? Secondly I have no idea why people are doing that. I'm assuming they just are discussing how exceedingly attractive I am."

I stared at him with a bewildered face. Nothing about his face had changed. He still had the same grey eyes, tossed blonde hair and pointed chin. But there were purple circles under his eyes and an unnerved look in his eyes that he was trying to hide. It was weird, but the longer I stood there the longer I wanted to be closer to him. Not just because I was attracted to him, but also because I knew how it would feel to be incased in his strong arms and feel his lips gently kiss my forehead. Now how in the world could I possibly know that?

"What are you thinking Weasley?"

This question struck me more than anything else because it felt so familiar. I couldn't understand this, but I hoped that maybe I was just anxious about everything and I was over analyzing. Malfoy of all people probably thought I was going crazy. He certainly was looking at me as if I was going crazy.

"Nothing…Never mind. I'm just going…crazy." I glanced up at his curious face and moved out of his way. "Sorry."

"Are you alright? You look deranged."

"As much as I appreciate your delicate compliments….I'm going to go and take a long nap. Hopefully when I wake up you and I, and everyone else will be back to normal."

As I turned around, I shook my head and began to go around the corner to my staircase. I had this nagging feeling that he wanted to say something to me, but as I went up the staircase I heard nothing. Shaking my head to myself, I fell onto my bed. This was just anxiety over my unclear future. I was just making things up in my head because I was just trying to avoid how nervous I was about everything else. What else could it be?

I thought about writing my mum, but I didn't want to worry her. She worried enough about Hugo and I without me adding fuel to the fire. I also considered writing dad, but the minute I rose to do it I stopped. For some reason I didn't trust my father. I'd known the man my whole life and he's always been there for me. So why now was I doubting him? Sure he wasn't the most serious person and tended to be more vague then not but there have been times over the years where he had his moments of wisdom. Besides I couldn't think of a reason in the world why I shouldn't talk to him. So I pushed passed my instincts and got out some parchment and a quill.

_Dear Dad,_

_I think I'm going a little crazy. Not crazy enough for you to tell mum, but obviously crazy enough for me to tell you about it. Do you ever have this feeling as if everything is just…off? I feel like I'm missing a something but I don't have any clue what it is. I thought I was just acting weird because I'm worried about my future, but this feels…different. Do I sound crazy? Because I feel crazy. Even Malfoy thinks so, which shouldn't bother me, but for some reason it does. I guess I can just add it to the list of things I simply don't understand. But what I'm asking you is what I should do about it. I've tried ignoring it. But I can't seem to get rid of this feeling. I love you and tell mum I say hi. My grades are good and I'm doing well in Quidditch so don't worry about that stuff. I hope to see you soon._

_Love,_

_Rose_


	14. What the Water Gave Me

In the middle of Quidditch practice I was sitting on my broom, a hundred feet in the air when a bludger came slashing through the air and smashed into the side of my jaw. Normally I would have been paying attention and would have been able to block that, but I was too distracted. For that I received a bruised jaw. It's sounds funnier than it is. 

"SON OF A BITCH!" I cried as I cradled my jaw delicately. Hugo and Albus raced to my side and lowered me down to the field. "FUCK FUCK!" 

Taking my hand off my face I was disgusted to find gushing blood all over my new Quidditch gloves. I became dizzy just looking at it. After the initial hit I felt nothing but stinging pain in my chin. It didn't hurt badly until I felt the wind breeze past it. Then it was like the time I waxed my legs and took a hot shower immediately after, searing, blinding pain. Trying to fight urge to scream in pain, I looked up in an attempt to distract myself with something, anything else. Hugo and Albus both had their arms around me, as they attempted to usher me into the castle. I was expecting the nausea. I was expecting the pain. I wasn't however expecting to see Malfoy opening the door for us.

"You have GOT to be kidding me." Albus growled.

"What Potter? You want me to slam the door in her face? You think that will stop the bleeding?" He scoffed coldly.

Albus looked absolutely livid. "What are you doing out here?"

"I was walking around the castle when I saw you carrying her in. Last time I checked, I can do whatever I want."

"Okay!" I shouted furiously. "You two can bicker! I'm going to hospital wing on my own." Breaking away from Hugo and walking on my own I made it about three steps before I became dizzy from the blood loss.

"Oh hell!" Albus groaned under his breath. "You know what…fuck it. Malfoy you take her to the hospital wing. Hugo come on we're going back to practice."

"What?" I coughed getting some blood on the floor as I swayed where I stood.

"No matter what I do I can't seem to keep him away from her. I give up." Albus told Hugo as he put me in Scorpius's arms.

Scorpius's strong warm arms circled around me and suddenly he was the one helping me to the hospital wing. I wasn't in the shape to question it. It didn't matter if Voldemort wanted to help me at this point. I just wanted someone to stop the bleeding. Scorpius half dragged me their and stayed silent the whole time. Somehow, I knew, that he knew that speaking only hurt more. Not everybody was this attuned to my feelings. Madame Promfrey's new assistant for one not only lost her mind when she saw me, but she almost beat the stuffing out of Malfoy.

"What the hell happened to you?" Eleanor questioned me sending him an accusing look.

"Blu-ger." I spat through the blood.

She clicked her tongue on the roof of her mouth negatively. "Stupid game if you ask me. Just a bunch of people risking their lives for no good reason."

I clenched my eyes in pain as she magically pulled my jawbones back together with a few clever flicks off her wand.

"Now," She spoke clearly, "I'm going to put some ointment on your face to clean up the wound and heal the bruise."

I nodded, though I kept my eyes closed.

"Your jaw may feel a little numb for a few hours and I'm keeping you till lunch."

My eyes snapped open. "That's not necessary."

"Who has the medical degree you or I?" Eleanor snapped wryly. "That's what I thought. Now I know you are a flight risk after our venture together so Mr. Malfoy I'm correct in assuming you are staying with her till then."

"A minute ago you were accusing me of beating her and now you are asking me to sit with her all for three hours?" Scorpius raised his eyebrows cynically.

Eleanor glared at him. "Well one never can be too careful and you seem well intentioned. So what's your answer?"

"Yeah…after she told you I was innocent…" Her sat down in the chair next to me.

"Well?"

He frowned. "I'm sitting aren't I?"

Eleanor rolled her eyes. "Men." She tucked her raven hair behind her ear. "You stay put until I say you can leave."

"It's not that bad…" I moved to leave, but stopped when she gave me a death glare. "Okay! Okay! You'd think I was trying to steal a baby or something."

"You sit. And you make sure she stays." Eleanor told us before strutting back into the nurse's courters.

I leaned back against the bed and groaned. "Worst morning ever."

"How did you get hit?"

Closing my eyes, I shook my head. "I was distracted."

"By?"

"Nothing. I'm just…I don't understand a lot."

He glanced at me curiously. "Oh?"

"You wouldn't get it."

"Try me."

As I looked at him I waited for the usual shiver of doubt. He was Malfoy, my enemy since before I could remember. I was supposed to doubt his intentions. But as I looked into his pale grey eyes I didn't see that. He wasn't the same person. He was…changed, but by what I didn't know.

"Maybe… later." I thought of a lie easily. "I need to sleep…You can leave if you want. I promise I won't leave."

"Why'd she call you a flight risk?"

I scoffed. "Every time I get hurt she always wants to keep me here longer than necessary."

"What was the last thing that got you in here?"

"Rick Fitzpatrick tripped me and I went flying through the air into a brick wall."

His jaw twitched. "Seriously?"

"Yeah apparently he didn't like a comment I made about him the day before."

"What did you say?"

"That all his snobbish bigotry was just an act to overcompensate for how small he is."

Scorpius shook slightly with silent laughter. "I see."

"I can't understand why he was so upset…I was just telling the truth."

"No reason for him to take it so personally right?"

I smiled. "Yep….Hey did she get all the blood off my face?"

He nodded. "Now the only red thing on your face is your hair."

"You really don't have to stay. I know you probably have a busy day… kicking orphans and telling small children that Santa doesn't exist."

"It's fine Weasley. I'll just kick the orphan's while I tell them that Santa doesn't exist tomorrow."

I pretended to gape. "But tomorrow is Sunday. On god's day you are going to go around ruining hopes and dreams of all?"

"I'm a rebel."

Rolling my eyes, I laid back on the pillow behind me. "Oh yeah you are. Tell me Malfoy what do your parent's want you to do for a career?"

He seemed taken aback from the question. "What?"

"Everyone knows I'm supposed to go the Ministry and add to their ever growing ginger overpopulation. What do your parent's want you to do?"

"Why do you ask?"

I shrugged. "Well we're going to be here quite awhile and figured I might as well find out more about you so I can sneakily use it against you at another time."

"Ah. Well my mother wants me to become a ministry official and my father just wants me to be happy."

"That's adorable. You're really close with your dad aren't you?"

He tensed as I saw his defensive mechanism come into place. "Aren't you?"

"Yes I am, but we aren't talking about me."

"Yes. I suppose we are."

My smile grew. "It's just funny. You look just like him. Do you think you act more like him or your mum?"

"I don't know…" He twitched uncomfortably.

"Why are you getting so uncomfortable? I'm just asking you about your family."

"Perhaps," He began curtly, "Because I know you have a low opinion of them."

Turning I looked at his hardened expression in surprise. "Is that what you think? I don't hate your family. I hate you sometimes, but you've fully earned that. I actually think your mum looks nice. I could be wrong."

"She is nice."

A smirk played on my face as I thought of what I was about to say. "And your dad's pretty hot."

He set me with a disgusted look.

"What he has this whole older man…I used to be bad…I've probably killed some people…while shirtless."

"Stop."

I busted out laughing. "It's too easy!"

"But wait didn't you say I look just like him?" His smirk was back with a vengeance.

"Oh dear god_. You_ would zero in on that."

He leaned in towards me "Well?"

"You know you're attractive." I rolled my eyes. Then I started feeling my jaw. "It really is numb. I bet I could get hit again and not feel anything."

"So you find me attractive."

I scoffed. "I don't know why you're so shocked. You how you look."

"Yes, but you of all people admitting it is quite refreshing."

"Oh please. If you don't simmer down I won't be able to fit in this room with you and your ego."

"What are you trying to say? That you as a woman are immune to compliments?" He snorted. "You people live of compliments.

My eyebrows rose in disagreement. "First of all that's a lie. I live off pancakes and sugar quills." I then gave him an even look. "I'm more impressed by the fact that you finally admit I'm a woman. Although I don't imagine I look much like one right now."

"Are you saying you don't think you are an attractive female?"

"Not at the moment."

He looked at me as if I was an alien. "Do you ever think you are?"

"What the hell is with this line of questioning? I'm sure at some point I look alright."

"You're a weird girl."

Outraged, I starred at him. "How am I weird?"

"Most girls strive for a compliment. You run from them like they will give you cancer."

"Just became I don't swoon at every word that comes out of your mouth doesn't mean I run from compliments. In that whole slew of words I didn't hear even a hint of a compliment so what was there to run from?"

He snickered at that. "Touché Weasley."

"Oh my did Scorpius Malfoy just admit defeat?" I clamped my hand over my mouth in fake shock.

"It's been known to happen."

I smiled. "Not around me."

"I thought you wanted to take a nap."

"Yeah I did…but what are you going to do? Sit there and stare at me?"

He pulled out today's Daily Prophet. "I'm all good."

"You sure?"

"Yes. Now shut up and go to sleep."

I rolled over and fell asleep quickly. When I woke up he was gone and Hugo was sitting in his seat. 

"Well hello sis. How's your face feeling?"

"Fine." I sat up and looked around. "How long have you been here?"

He shrugged. "A half hour."

"Oh."

"Expecting someone else?" Hugo grinned knowingly. "I told him he could leave. I'm sure you'll run into him later."

"Hey I was wondering what was Albus going on about earlier?"

Hugo looked conflicted. "I could tell you, but I'm not sure if I should."

"Why not?"

"Because he had a point, a crazed, delusional, ridiculous point."

I checked my watch. "It's lunch time. Have you seen Eleanor?"

"Yep. She said you could leave when you woke up."

Hugo and I left for the Great Hall and we sat together and discussed Victoree's wedding.

"I think it's going to be the epitome of over priced." I told him knowingly. "I have a fitting on Tuesday. I really can't wait to see what color scheme she picks."

Hugo scoffed. "We all know it's going to be yellow."

"She would. Speaking of which who's your plus one? It's February twenty seventh. The wedding is in two and half months you might want to get your shit together."

"Me? What about you? Are you going stag?"

I grimaced. "That would be awful. Roxanne will mock me the whole night."

"Yes," He patted me sympathetically, "She will."

"Oh well. I'm going to have a good time with or without a date."

Hugo gave me a pensive look. "There's no one you could see going with?"

"Not at the moment…why do you know someone I should go with?"

"Well you and Malfoy seem to be getting chummy."

My face flushed. "No, we're not."

"Then why when I mention anything to do with him do you loose your mind?"

"I don't loose my mind."

"Oh?" Hugo stared at me arrogantly. "Then why is your face constantly the color of a strawberry whenever I mention him?"

I glared at him and threw a napkin at his face. "Oh sod off."

"I'm just saying."

"Well shut up." I stood up and linked arms with as he walked me back to my dorm. "So speaking of dates who are you taking?"

Hugo's face twisted in discomfort. "I'm not sure."

"What's with the face?"

"Nothing."

"Oh," I said quickly, "Because it looks like a whole lot of something."

He frowned. "Promise you won't judge me?"

"Thumb swear." I wrapped my thumb around his. "No what's up?"

Hugo followed me into my common room. "I like someone."

"Okay Captain Vague."

"Fine." Hugo fell onto the couch in despair. "Charlotte Parker."

"Who who who whooo." I snickered teasingly. "A Slythern eh?"

He groaned and threw his face into the couch. "I don't know what to do! I can't get her out of my head."

"This is hysterical. Hugo Weasley in love with a feisty blonde."

"Yeah," Hugo spat into my cushions. "Delightful."

Sitting down next to him, I laughed. "What's the big problem? Why don't you just ask her out?"

"The problem is it could never work out."

"She not like you?"

He scoffed condescendingly. "As if that's even possible."

"And the arrogance continues."

"Well come on."

"Fine," I threw up my hands defensively. "All women love you. So what makes this an issue?"

Pulling himself out of my couch he gave me a dirty look. "Duh. She's a Slythern?"

"And? This isn't 1981 you know."

"I know that, but dad would loose his mind."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm sure dad would throw a fit, eat a sandwich and then get over it."

"I'm not so sure about that."

"Well I am. Dad is a lot of talk, but very little action." I heaved him into a hug. "Don't worry about him."

As we pulled away I heard the door swing open and watched as Scorpius strutted across the common room to his staircase. Neither of us said a word to each other. But I waited till he was in his room before I continued talking to Hugo.

"Now are you going to go for it? Or are you going to be a little pansy?"

He made a face at me and squished my face together. "I told you how I feel about that term."

"Pan-sy." I muttered with difficulty as he smashed my face together like a fish.

"Well if you insist on acting this way I must leave you."

I snorted. "Love you."

"You too." 

As he left I sunk into the couch and tried to relax. I had a few papers that I had to write before Monday, but for once I was going to put them off. I had a whole crappy Sunday to worry about that. For now I was going to go get a book from the library, crawl up by the fire and read. After being socked in the face by a bludger I think I deserve a break.

Lauren was in the library banging her head on the table when I walked in. This was a sight I never thought I'd see. Kelly yes, Lauren…hell no. Kelly was the one who always came to me with countless paper cuts and book lines indented into her cute little face. Lauren on the other hand was more likely to be found reading a magazine, snogging her boyfriend or doing anything else really. 

"Well isn't this a surprise."

Lauren glanced up reproachfully. "Come here to make fun of me?"

"No. I came here for a book. I had no idea you were here at all."

Her gaze softened. "Well go get it."

"What's up with you? You're snappier than usual."

"My mum just sent me a message telling me that I better start applying myself. So here I am…applying myself."

I picked up her book. "Law enforcement?"

"Yep. She seems to think I'd be perfect to work in your mother's department."

"Oh."

She flipped her hair impatiently. "Exactly! I hate law enforcement. I'd much rather stick needles into my eyes."

"What would you like to do?"

"I don't know…I've never given it much thought."

Sliding into the seat next to her I gave her a sympathetic look. "Well what did your job test tell you?"

"That I should be a mortician."

"Oh." I grimaced. "Was there a back up?"

She shook her head. "Nope."

"Well…Um…I bet we can figure something out. For now…why don't we get you out of the library?"

"Okay."

I helped her up with a frown. "It just doesn't look right…You being in here I mean."

"I didn't know where else to look."

"You know. I think Kelly will have a few ideas. She's good at that kind of thing."

Lauren nodded absentmindedly. "She would be."

"Don't worry. We'll figure it out."

"How are you?"

I shrugged, "I'm fine."

"Hugo said you're seeing a lot of Malfoy."

"I'm not trying to. I just keep running into him."

"I'm sorry. It sucks running into your ex."

My whole body stopped as I starred at her in surprise. "_My what_?"

"Your ex." She starred at me with narrowed eyes. "I thought you broke up with him."

"Lauren, what are you talking about? I never dated him."

Adjusting her headband she shrugged. "I guess you're right. I think I'm going to take a nap. Want to eat dinner with Kelly and I?"

"Of course." I hugged her and watched as she went into the Gryffindor common room. 

When I reached the top of Astronomy tower I did something I never did. I pulled myself onto the edge and sat there, looking down at the snowy grounds. It was no longer a lingering suspicion. Lauren had legitimately just proven the festering doubt within me that something was deeply wrong. She shrugged it off, but the longer I sat there the more things I saw connected back to what she said. The way people kept pointing at the two of us. How Albus's wouldn't let him anywhere near me. And more importantly why no matter how close or far away I was from him my feelings never changed. Feelings that in no way connected to the way we were. I must have sat up there for a couple of hours, because the air grew frigid and the sky fell dark. My mind was working so fast though I didn't notice until I heard someone coming up the stairs. 

"Woah Woah Woah!" Malfoy yelled as he skidded next to me. "What are you doing?"

I shrugged distractedly. "Thinking."

"Can't you be normal and think on the ground?"

"No I can't…I think I'm going crazy."

"Yes that has become clear to me as well but why don't we talk about this down here…off the ledge of a two hundred foot drop."

"Do you think I'm crazy?"

He starred at me like I was. "Right now or in general?"

"In general."

"_Usually_ you seem very level headed."

Pursing my lips I sighed. "That's what I thought."

"Weasley what's the problem?"

"I've been feeling …not right for the past two weeks. What do you think it is?"

"I haven't got a clue."

Malfoy gave the ledge a hesitant look before climbing up to sit next to me.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?...If I die up here I'm going to haunt you forever." He told me snidely as he death gripped the back of the ledge.

I laughed at him. "I'm sure you would. I can just see you now. Judging me on my fashion choices or tell me I'm doing just ordinary in a class."

"Yes. Yes I would."

"I just don't get this….I feel." I put my head in my hands. "I feel heartbroken and everything connects to a past I don't have."

"What does it feel like?"

Tears appeared in my eyes without my permission. "Every morning I wake up and feel like my best friend has just died. But then I talk to Kelly, Lauren and Hugo and they're all fine. I'm constantly restless. I can't concentrate on anything and when I'm around certain things my chest clenches …Like I found this sweater in my room and as soon as I saw it I became depressed. I don't understand why though…I don't even think it's my sweater either it's huge." I let out a breath. "And I can't let it go either I keep obsessing over what the hell could cause me this much…pain."

"That is weird…" His eyes starred into mine and his expression completely changed.

"The worst part is I don't understand why it all seems to circle around you. Lauren seems to think we've dated and now that I think about it. _It fits_. You and I have never even shared a meal together let alone anything that would warrant the way I feel. Or the way everyone is acting." I bit my lip. "Is it just me? Am I crazy?"

He shook his head and avoided my eyes. "No. I feel it too."

"You do?"

"I thought it was just me." Scorpius admitted quietly.

"Can I ask you something?"

"No, this conversation couldn't be any stranger."

I rolled my eyes and smacked his arm. "Not that you idiot."

"Then what? What could Rose Weasley possibly not know?"

"Why are you up here?"

A faint blush came over his cheeks. "You never came back from the library and you looked emotional earlier."

"How did you know I was up here?" I asked him softly.

"I didn't know."

I smiled at him, "I know you didn't have to make sure I was alright …thank you."

"Well if you left they would probably put somebody else as Head Girl and I was just getting used to listening to you lecturing me."

Instinctively, I looped my arm through his and hugged it. "Yeah, because you listen to me." I then stopped and looked down at my arm in horror. "I'm so sorry! I don't know why I just did that."

"No…it's okay." He breathed with a note of surprised enjoyment. "I don't mind."

"You don't?" I questioned him in shock.

He shook his head with a small smirk. "No. I don't."

"Oh Jesus this is weird." I blushed embarrassedly. "You don't even like me."

"How do you know that?"

I pulled away from him and swung around so I was fully facing him. "How about seven years of reinforcement?"

"That means nothing."

"How does that mean nothing?"

His smirk grew as I became angry. "There you go."

"What?" I snapped in confusion.

"When you get all feisty, your hair grows."

Self consciously, my hands flew to my hair. "No it doesn't!"

"Yes it does. It's adorable."

I snorted and rolled my eyes in sarcasm. "Oh-kay!"

We were quiet for a few minutes as the winter air howled around us. When he finally broke the silence it wasn't awkward or tense. He was perfectly at ease as if we'd been friends for years.

"What were you talking about with Hugo earlier?"

I shrugged. "He actually for once genially likes a girl, but she's in Slytherin and he scared shitless of what my dad is going to think. I have no idea why. I told him he was being stupid."

"Doesn't your dad hate us all?"

"He doesn't hate Slytherin's. He just doesn't trust them. He's not bad enough to do something about it. If it was me I'm sure it would be different, but I don't see why Hugo cares. If he really likes the girl it shouldn't care where she comes from."

Scorpius's face twisted in thought. "Why would it be different if it was you?"

"I'm his baby girl. I'm sure when he pictures my future he doesn't see men in it at all." I replied honestly.

"Would you date a Slythern?"

A faint blush reappeared on my face as I considered the loaded question. "I judge more on the guy then the house he's in. Unless he likes the Cuddley Cannon's," I joked knowing full well there was a Cannon's poster in his room. "Then it's all over."

"Are you one of those fans that jumps on the bandwagon when they're good and jumps off when they're bad? Because that's not a real fan?"

"You sound just like my dad. And no I've never been a Cannon's fan. I know they're our home team, but after awhile it's just sad to watch them play. They're never going to even make it to the playoffs."

Malfoy smiled. "Sometimes the best teams are the ones that you think will never make it."

I frowned and suddenly felt the need to change the subject. "What did Rachel want earlier?"

"To tell me that now there was nothing stopping us from seeing each other." He scoffed darkly. "As if I'd need an excuse to get away from her."

"How did she take that?"

"Not well." He answered honestly. "I wouldn't be surprised if she tries and slip me a love potion."

I let out a snicker at that. "Now I would pay good money to see you head over heels in love with her."

"Oh you would?"

"Yep."

His hand slipped down to my hand until our hands were intertwined.

"What is this?" I asked gently not daring to look him in the eye.

"I don't know."

"Well someone should and I think I know who does." I got down from the ledge carefully and held out my hand. "Are you in?"

For a second he seemed to second-guess himself, this entire situation and me. But then he shook his head and jumped down. "I must be crazy." And then he took my hand and let me lead the way.


	15. No Light, No Light

_"There's an old saying about those who cannot remember the past being condemned to repeat it. But those of us who refused to forget the past are condemned to relive it."_

**_-__ABC's Revenge_**

* * *

><p>"Weasley," He groaned. "Where are you taking me?"<p>

"Space," I told him dismissively as I dragged him through the castle back to our dorm.

"Seriously. Where?"

I ignored him and snatched a handful of floo powder and threw it in the fire.

"We have to ask to leave ground Rose."

"What are they going to do?" I scoffed at him dismissively. "We aren't going to a brothel."

"Oh really? Well I guess that's one idea down." He drawled sarcastically.

I gave him a look. "Look, do you want to know or not?"

"Yes."

"Then shut up and take my hand."

His hand gripped my own as we walked into the fire. "Godric's Hollow, Potter Mansion."

My uncle was never really a big talker; then again no one really could get in a word with my mother in the room. But when I saw him sitting in his chair in the living room I didn't think of that. All I remembered was a man who would take me and Albus to get ice cream when Aunt Ginny was out and take us to Quidditch games when we were too small to see above the stands. Uncle Harry, of course would take turns putting us on his shoulders. As I walked through his study with Scorpius in tow, I felt the day hanging on my shoulders. It would be okay, I told myself. Uncle Harry always knows what to do.

"Uncle Harry?" I called walking through the kitchen to the open the living room.

"Rose?" My Uncle questioned walking in from the living room bewildered. "What's going on? What are you doing here?"

"We have a problem and we need your help."

His green eyes grew wide. "Please, please tell me you're not pregnant."

"Hell no!" I spat back horrified, stepping away from Scorpius. "No, no no no no."

"Okay," He let out a breath. "Good…So why are you two here then?"

I glanced over at Scorpius uneasily and he began to explain. He told my uncle about all the coincidences and how something I don't think I can fully explain how truly uncomfortable it was to lean against my aunt's wooden cabinets as a boy tells my uncle that he has feelings for me. My eyes were glued to a particular spot of dirt I recall my aunt was unable to rid of. Probably was something James did. He never seemed to be able to color in the lines. As I focused away from the conversation next to me, I jumped when Scorpius elbowed me to get my attention.

"What?"

"He told us to follow him."

I nodded, "Yeah…yeah."

Uncle Harry walked with us back through the kitchen to his study where we came in. "Now what do you think could have happened?"

"I don't know, but Hugo knows."

"I'll be right back. You two stay put." He told us before going into the fireplace and flooing to god knows where.

I sat in the armchair next to fire. "He's probably going to get a mental health specialist so he can commit us."

"Well he can take you, but he can't take me."

"If you think I'm going down and not taking you down with me you deserve to be committed." I told him half-seriously.

His icy eyes turned on me, suddenly completely serious. "What if there's something wrong with us?"

"There isn't. We wouldn't both be going through the exact same thing."

I had the urge to grab his hand. To hold him and tell him that everything was going to be okay. I didn't. We were fucked up enough without me adding to it, especially if Uncle Harry was bringing a relative back with him. Scorpius started pacing and running his hand through his hair. Then he suddenly stopped at a picture.

"Is this you?"

I frowned. "Hold it up."

He did and my whole face went red. "Uh…"

"It is isn't it?" He laughed sitting next to me with the picture in his hand. "Who's the boy?"

"Lewis Longbottom."

"Didn't you use to have a huge crush on him?"

I glowered at him. I couldn't believe moments earlier I had considered trying to make him feel better. "You really want to go there?"

"Yeah."

Adjusting my sitting position, I gave him a look. "Joan Marrow."

He feigned hurt. "Is that all you've got? She was hot. Better be turned down by a hot older chick that's way out of my league in the first place. Longbottom was older but he was definitely in your league."

"What is that supposed to insinuate?" I snapped easily. "That you are in a higher league then me?"

"Of course I am. Have you seen my hair?"

I rolled me eyes incredulously. "What? You think bleach adds to your market value?"

We could have gone on for hours, but thankfully Uncle Harry came back with Hugo in tow. Hugo looked horrified and it wasn't hard to see why. I don't think Hugo ever thought he would be dragged into this. He could have known better. When one Weasley is involved they're all involved.

"Now, It's ten o'clock. I have work in seven hours and I really don't want to involve your father if I don't have to. So why don't you just tell Mr. Malfoy and Rose what spell, jinx or curse you and my son placed on them so I can get to sleep?" Uncle Harry told him plainly as he sat down in the chair across from me.

"I didn't do anything!" Hugo raised his hands defensively.

Scorpius and I shared a look. "Yes," I started cuttingly. "But you know who did, now out with it."

Hugo looked up at the sky in a, 'why me?' gesture before grabbing the pensive from the corner and placing it in the corner of the room. "For the record I didn't do anything wrong." He declared before Uncle Harry used his wand to take Hugo's memories.

Giving Scorpius a nervous look, I pressed my face into the basin. I thought, what could it hurt?

* * *

><p><em>We fell into a memory of Hugo's that seemed fairly recent until I noticed Hugo's haircut. This must have been mid-January. He was on his way to the library when he saw a huge crowd. Being the nosy Weasley boy he is, he swiftly turned on his heel and joined the group. I watched as his eyes grew wide at the sight in front of him.<em>

I wasn't short but for once I had difficultly seeing. So I moved through the people and stopped dead.

_There I was, off the ground, in Scorpius Malfoy's arms having the life snogged out of me. _

"WHAT?" I scoffed. "But why would-?"

Then the image changed to me talking to Hugo in the hallway.

_"So I think it's time we talked." Hugo told me swiftly._

"About?"

"You and Malfoy."

I let out a groan of frustration, my face scrunched up in annoyance. "

_Really?__You have nothing else you could possibly talk to me about? How about your love life or how you're doing in school. Or generally you?"_

"We never talked about it in the first place." He pointed out.

"Because I don't want to!" I felt like ripping my hair out. "God! My whole life doesn't revolve around who I'm dating!"

It changed again to us holding hands in the hallway, and hanging out in the library. As the memories shifted I saw something else that was shifting as well. At first it was clear that we were doing it for show. But then Hugo started seeing us when it was clear we didn't know anyone was watching. There were things that just were different about us. Like how my eyes lit up when I was with him or how my voice changed when I talked about him. The funny thing was I saw Scorpius's behavior change too. He subtly switched from being rude and arrogant to be playful and loving. Instead of making hurtful jabs he would lightheartedly tease me. When the next memory flashed up I was still taken aback, but my jaw dropped as I watched Hugo run up to my father.

"What's dad-" I started but didn't finish. My questioned died as I saw my own unconscious form on the floor and my father pointing a wand at Scorpius.

_Scorpius's hands were in the air. "Mr. Weasl-"_

"_Oblivate!"_

"_DAD!" Hugo yelled attempting to stop him, but it was too late. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"_

_He said nothing to his only son. Ronald Weasley, calmly walked away._

The next memory popped up and I was saddened to find it contained Albus.

"_If you want to sneak around with your Slytherin slut fine, but if you tell Rose or Malfoy anything I'll tell your father." Albus threatened easily._

_Hugo looked at a loss for words as he leaned on the bookshelf behind him._

"_I don't know why you look so guilty." Albus scoffed harshly, "Look you believe in all that true love stuff don't you? Well if they really love each other than they will fall in love again."_

_Hugo's face fell. "What if they don't?_

"_Then they weren't supposed to be together." Albus's face turned disgustingly earnest. "Look I'm doing her a favor. He doesn't deserve her and maybe this way she will figure that out on her own."_

* * *

><p>Shock. I was in complete and utter shock. I was shocked at my brother. I was shocked at my cousin. I was shocked with my father. And more importantly I was shocked at myself.<p>

I just sat there, with my mouth dumbly hanging open with absolutely nothing to say. As someone who prided them self on always having a quick snappy response, I was lost. Scorpius didn't have the same problem. He was on his feet on an instant.

"And you what? Sat there and let us look like idiots?" He barked at Hugo furiously. "Our parent's fought an entire war on the basis of eradicate stereotypes and what are you doing? Running around with your bastard cousin reinforcing them?"

Hugo's face displayed perfect guilt as he hung his head. "I was going to say something-"

"When?" I piped up, furious tears surfacing in my eyes. "It's March tomorrow! It's been two weeks and you've said nothing to me!"

Hugo stood up, "I'm sorry," and flooed back to school before anyone could stop him. Scorpius scowled, and without saying another word stepped into the fire and left.

I don't know where he went, but I had a feeling I shouldn't follow him. My hands grew cold and shaky as starred after him miserably.

"Your father is my best friend and brother in law, but…" Uncle Harry struggled for an explanation, breaking the silence. "He tends to overreact to things he doesn't like."

I glared at him wholeheartedly. "Overreact? He didn't even tell me to stop Scorpius or ban me like a normal parent! He erased my memory!" I screamed. "Isn't that illegal?"

"Yes. It is, but why don't you stop and think before you-"

"NO! I'm never going to speak to him again. It's not about the guy! It's about what my father did! It's about what he had the nerve to think he had the right to decide for me! I'm seventeen fucking years old! There is no reason that he can do this to me! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!"

He just sat there, baffled. His black hair was graying at the edges and I saw his deep worry lines growing by the second. My poor godfather hadn't signed up for this when he agreed to take the job. I'm sure he assumed he would just take me to some Quidditch games, get me cool birthday presents and by me ice cream. Dealing with the fact that his best friend for over twenty years just went off the deep end was a little more than Uncle Harry was prepared for. Sitting up straighter, he adjusted his glasses and sighed.

"Rose, I suggest you go back to your dorm and cool off. You can write him any hateful letter you want, but promise you won't go see him."

"WHY? He deserves a good kick in groin from me!" I spat back.

He nodded, "Understandable, but why don't you step back and wait? Give it three days and I'll have him in your Headmasters office. By then can have all your arguments planned and then I can talk to your mum. Okay?"

"If it was anyone else asking I'd tell them to shove it…"

"Yes, but I'm not anybody else. Now please, go back, go to sleep and I'll owl you in the morning okay?"

I blinked and looked around. "Where's Aunt Ginny anyway?"

"She's in Belgium for the game Belgium versus France." He pulled me to my feet, "My money's on Belgium."

Rolling my eyes, my jaw grew tight. "Ah huh."

"We'll square this away, don't worry kiddo." Uncle Harry pulled me into a light hug. "Be good."

Walking to the fireplace, I said, "Hypocrite."

"How am I a hypocrite?"

"You literally have an award for most rules broken while attending Hogwarts." I told him with raised eyebrows.

He grinned. "That's just because my wife would have killed James if he surpassed me. Now off you go."

Giving the room one last hardy glare, I flooed back to my common room. Once I got back there, I crossed my arms and glowered around the room. Pure fury made my skin grow warm with hate. How could my father do this to me? Who else was involved in covering this up? I couldn't even move, I was glued to the couch, starring at the fire.

There was no way in hell I was going to sleep tonight.


	16. Impossible

**Authors Note:**

_This chapter is dedicated to the unknown reviewer that likes to giving me 'constructive criticism'. First the Weasley twins were considering buying out Zonko's in Hogsmede so it is perfectly legitimate that they might have done so. They are seventeen and I'm sorry but ...seventeen year olds tend to swear. It may be offensive but it's realistic, as most teenagers swear this excessively which is why this story isn't written for children. Hermione might have gone back to school but she never got the head girl position that she would have. And 'Exceeds expectations,' is good, but Kelly is a perfectionist and wants O's on everything. I really don't know what British version of, 'white girl problems,' would be as it is american slang. Any other comments I would be happy to answer personally if you left your name, but since you leave in anonymous I will be more than happy to keep replying here. Have a WONDERFUL holiday._

* * *

><p>There was a time when I was little when I love the game, 'what if?' What if, I grew wings and could fly? What if I dyed my hair blue? What if I suddenly became allergic to pancakes? The one, 'what if,' I never considered was it, 'what if your father erases your memory so you won't remember your boyfriend?'<p>

Why was that escaped from the other ridiculous what if's? Because I thought things like that only happened in soap operas.

I didn't sleep at all. I just stay up seething until I was too tried to stay activity angry. Finally once it hit 7 AM and Scorpius hadn't shown up I decided to take a shower. Ripping off my clothes, I stepped into the shower and let the scorching water pelt into my back. The harsh water began to refuel my anger. The longer I stood there the more I craved to know who else was involved. Was this a group effort or was it just my stupid cousin and father? I prayed that it was just them, but what if it wasn't? What would they have done? Held a, _'Let's control Rose's life_,' meeting?

Once I got out of the shower I changed and made a lovely little list of people that I need to speak to. Our, …depending on their answers, my Kill Bill List.

_1) Lily_

_2) Kelly_

_3) Lauren_

_4) Albus_

_5) My dad_

The first name was the easiest to find. Lily Potter was always in the center of things. She was nestled in the middle of the table with her nose in the air. As soon as she saw me coming she grimaced and moved away from me.

"I had nothing to do with it." Lily told me immediately.

Scooting into the seat next to her I glared at her. There she sat with her perfect make-up, smooth bun and adorable outfit. There was no way she was going to let me ruin any of that. Maybe that's why I just had to. So I pulled her hair clips out of her hair until she turned around to look at me. I did it slowly so she would notice. She snapped when the carefully clipped section near her face fell.

"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?" She roared furiously, "I told you I didn't do anything!"

"Did you know they were going to do it?" I questioned her firmly.

"You know at the end of the day it doesn't even matter." She told me authoritatively. "I didn't oblivate you and I didn't help Albus cover it up."

I eyed her hatefully. "So you're saying, it doesn't matter that he betrayed me and that you did nothing to stop it?

"Yes. Yes I am, because Albus is right. If you love Malfoy, who cares about what we did? You should be focusing on where you and Malfoy stands."

"I will worry about that after. I'm more concerned about the fact that you thought it was okay to sit on your ass and do nothing while your older brother tries to control _my_ life."

Lily's full lips turned into a frown. "What was I supposed to do? He wouldn't let me anywhere near you! And to be honest I didn't realize you and Malfoy were that serious so I didn't see anything wrong with it until a few days ago."

"And you didn't think to do anything?"

"Look, It's your life Rose. It's not my problem who you date or what my brother does." She took a sip of her cup coldly. "You need to learn that your problems are yours, _not mine._"

"_Wow_." Glaring at my shorter cousin, my mouth became tight and I stood. "You are the most self absorbed, bitter, bitch I've ever met. And if you ever need a favor," I bent over to whisper, "You can go fuck yourself." Then I walked away without a hint of remorse.

* * *

><p>Lily, is a heartless, soulless little bitch. I can't believe she could be so…bitchy. Sure I knew Albus was going off the deep end but didn't think Lily would go the complete opposite way. By the time I go to the library to find Lauren and Kelly I was shaking with rage. How could she say that to me? She basically said that no one cared what I did. Kelly was helping Lauren go through some career brochures and looking at the requirements. They both nodded at me when I walked up, but Kelly did a double take when she saw the look on my face.<p>

"What? Did Rachel burn all your clothes?"

I started pacing in front of their table, ignoring her questions. "_Did you guys know?"_

"Know that Lily stole your eyeliner," Lauren frowned thoughtfully, "Or that she borrowed your peacoat?"

"No," I snapped shortly giving her a lethal look as I stopped, leaned forward on the table and starred at them. "That my cousin helped my father oblivate Scorpius and I into believing that we never dated."

Lauren's face, which rarely shifted, since she was always two steps ahead of everyone, turned to shock. Her big blue eyes widened making her sleek blonde hair fall farther into her face. Kelly's tiny little jaw dropped as her dark eyebrows furrowed down in confusion.

"Wait…._whaat_?" Lauren whispered in bewilderment. "What are you talking about?"

"For the past two weeks," I started my voice shuddering with radiating rage as I began to pace again. "I've been under the impression that I've been going crazy….Because I felt like something was missing and then I would run into Malfoy, a man I've hated for years, and feel something for him that I shouldn't. Then I realized when you," I pointed at Lauren, "Asked if we had broken up again that we must have been together. So I went to my uncle and he forced Hugo to tell us the truth."

Kelly let out a low whistle, "And how… did _tha_t go?"

"We had to watch our memories for ten minutes…and then as soon as we came out of the pensive Scorpius yelled and then left."

"Where did he go?" Kelly asked leaning forward in concern.

I shook my head. "No idea. He just went into the fire and left."

"_Ouch_…How could Hugo show you all of your memories though? I mean unless Hugo is a creep which I hope to Merlin isn't true."

"He just showed me the ones he saw." I told her distantly, then I sat down in the chair across from them.

I didn't want to ask the next question, but I had to. It was lingering in me and I had to know. The reason why I couldn't just stay away from him. The reason I couldn't just forget him or move on. And it more importantly was the reason I worried if he was okay and wanted him near me…It was what I feared the most, but knew to be true even without asking. But I still needed it confirmed by someone else.

So I bit my lip and let out a sigh. "I was in love with him…wasn't I?"

Lauren wouldn't look me in the eye, but Kelly did. Her earnest little face turned up at me with a nod. "I think so. You didn't say it. Or really talk about him much, _bu__t_…"

"But what?"

"It was all over your face." Lauren replied barely above a whisper.

The next question was much more awkward. "Did he love me?"

"Ughhh." Lauren scratched her neck in discomfort.

"Believe me I hate asking this. It's more awkward for me…trust me."

Kelly shrugged unconcernedly at Lauren and then turned back to me. "He did."

"He did?" I blinked in surprise. "_He did_…"

Running my hand through my hair I felt whole-heartedly conflicted. How did I get myself into this situation?

"I'm sorry Rose." Kelly whispered sincerely.

"Yeah," Lauren agreed in an oddly sympathetic voice that didn't suit her at all. "I don't like Malfoy, but I would have never let them do this to you."

Starring at the woodened table I never felt more …_lost_. "I'll see you guys later…Good luck with the job hunt."

"Thanks." Lauren smiled at me.

I knew I should talk to Albus and figure out what the hell I should say to my dad, but after the slap to the face from Lily and the bucket of cold water from Kelly and Lauren I couldn't. I needed some time to just process this. I figured Scorpius had gone home or …wherever it was he would go. So I went to the Astronomy tower without fear of running into him.

Along the way I tried to think of how it must have gone, how we …fell in love with each other. It must have started off as some kind of joke. Or a bet or something. Then what though? How could I have allowed myself to like him? He was…detestable and rude and …hadn't he hated me for years? Now I was more offended that he allowed himself to fall in love with me. He hated me for years, loathed and detested me. Where did the commitment go? How could he just suddenly…like me? What was wrong with him? What was wrong with me?

* * *

><p>Climbing up the steps, I was so out of it that I didn't see my face hit the stone step. "OW!" Groaning, I clutched my face and rolled over to see a human being sitting in front of me. The one human I thought I wouldn't see was inches away from my throbbing face.<p>

"_WHY IS IT ALWAYS YOU_?" I whined horribly. "Why is it always my face?"

He helped me off the ground to a sitting position. "You okay?"

Rubbing my nose, I shrugged and leaned back against the frigid stone wall. "Yeah, I guess I'm fine…What are you doing up here?"

"I was looking for you."

"Great." I scowled knowing that wasn't a good thing, "Well you found me. What do you want to say to me?"

He's going to say it. He's going to say after everything… I'm not worth it. That it's too complicated. He's going to say that I'm too much trouble and he can't let go of what my family did. And then my heart sank as I realized in horror that I was right. His face said it all and the second I saw the guilt in his cloudy eyes I had to look away from him. I couldn't bear to be anywhere near him, but I stuck it out. If he was going to say it. He was going to say it to my face.

"I've had these feelings…that make no sense for awhile now." He confessed looking determinedly at the stone step between us. "But now that I've seen the memories and saw what your father did…" His eyes floated to my eyes and I wished to god they didn't. Because the minute they did my heat broke in my chest. "This doesn't make sense. We are leaving soon. So maybe it's better we just ignore this and go back to the way things were."

"Tomorrow we're getting our memories back." I told him.

His jaw tightened, as his light eyes dropped in pain. "It won't change anything. We just…are too different. This whole thing started as a ploy. Let's leave it there."

"_Let's leave it there_?" I breathed in echo of his words, giving him a look of detachment. "Well then I guess, I'll see you tomorrow, and the day after that, but when you look back on this and try to think you were just doing the right thing. Remember what you feel right now." I stood up determinedly and walked back down the stairs. My eyes burned with tears but I didn't let them fall.

He may have just seen it as walking away from a situation that never was going to work. I saw it as him reinforcing every negative opinion I had of myself. Every little insecurity I worried a male would eventually feel or think about me he just said. It would have been different if he had waited till we had our memories back and realized he didn't love me at all. But he didn't think I was worth the wait and it killed me.

I've had guys cheat on me. I've had a boyfriend that left me for another girl. I've had a boyfriend date someone right after we broke up. _But it never hurt like this_. I always knew with all of them that no matter what they did I wouldn't depend on them enough for them to hurt me. In those memories…._I saw how much I loved him_. Lauren was right. It was obvious to everyone how I felt. I never knew that I could feel that much about someone else. It was this passionate, destructible feeling running through me fueling me. Before it was always something that I could control, something I could give up. But now I didn't have a choice. He made the choice for me and that was it.

When I got back to my dorm I didn't mean to cry, but I didn't bother to stop myself when it happened. I needed to cry. I needed to cry hard. So in the secrecy of my room, behind my bed I allowed myself to cry harder than I ever had before. Not over a boy, but over how I let the boy mean this much to me. That's the thing they forget to mention when they talk about how great those forbidden romance's are. They forget that most of the couples either break up or die, because there's no way that kind of passion can last. There's no way two people would give up everything for each other. No one loves another person enough to give up everything for them. But Malfoy proved that he doesn't even think I'm worth fighting for. And for that I'll hate him forever.

Wiping the tears off my face furiously I sank into the floor. Closing my eyes, I saw nothing, but the damaged, tortured look of his face. I couldn't look at his face without wanting to scream at him, even in my head. So instead I focused on what I was going to say to my father at the meeting tomorrow. To be honest I don't think I'll say a single thing to him. All I want are my memories back. After that…I don't care what happens to any of them. All I want is to get out of this place in one piece. Months ago that seemed easy enough, but now it seemed like it was impossible. Not with my current track record anyway.

So, I made a new goal. I hoped one day I wouldn't think of him every second of every day and want to cry whenever I saw him. That was a goal I was more than slightly interested in accomplishing. That was a goal I was going to accomplish. I breathed carefully. I was going to be okay. I didn't need him. What I needed was to get my priorities straight. I was going to focus on school and being a good Head Girl. Enough of this boy bullshit. I can date after I get my career lined up and my life together. Right now, clearly, it is just not the right time for me to be with anyone.

Not bothering to climb back on my bed, I instead grabbed my blanket from the bed above me and pulled it on me along with my pillow. Starring at the ceiling, tears still flowed down my cheeks as the darkness of the room seemed to hover over me. I would be fine, I told myself resolutely over and over again, until I fell asleep.


	17. Set Fire to the Rain

Walking up on the bitterly cold, hardwood floor, I felt my whole body whine in pain. It wasn't a good idea to sleep on the floor in the midst of winter or anytime of the year really, but it kind of fit. My head and heart hurt, my body should too.

For what seemed like the longest time I just laid there calmly enjoying the discomfort. I heard a knock on my door, but I didn't answer it. I was in mood for other people. Apparently, that didn't matter to whoever decided to come in. When I glanced up I let out the heaviest sigh I could muster and shook my head.

"I really don't have the energy for you right now."

"I came to say I'm sorry."

Letting out another sigh, my jaw tightened in annoyance. "Well… _that's nice_, but I want to be alone."

"Okay…" Her voice was soft and full of guilt, but I honestly didn't have it in me to be nice to her. "Well I'll see you later."

If she hadn't been a royal bitch to me yesterday I might have swallowed my pride, left my sullen attitude behind and forgiven her. But she was a bitch to me yesterday and I didn't feel like being nice to her. Maybe after a few hours of sulking I would get the strength to do so, but right now I didn't have it in me. So instead, I leaned up grabbed another blanket off my bed and snuggled on the uncomfortable floor. About a half hour later I heard two rounds of knocking. Once again I didn't move and once again the door opened anyway. I really needed to lock that door.

"So," Lauren murmured lowering herself down next to me. "What are we doing?"

"Sulking."

She nodded, "Sulking…very productive."

"I thought so."

"What are we specifically sulking about?"

"In a couple hours time," I started dejectedly, "I'm going to see my father, my ex boyfriend and my cousin….I don't particularly want to see any of these people, but I have to. And until then I'd like to just lay in my unhappiness."

She adjusted her headband and stylish outfit, "And this is helping how?"

"I'm not happy and I can get it all out now so I can be composed later."

"Okay." Lauren nodded, stretching out her long legs next to mine. "I can get behind that concept."

Inhaling softly, I said, "I thought you might. Did you work out your career?"

"Kelly has a few ideas, but I'm not sure." Her voice wavered oddly unsure, which was unsettlingly to hear. Lauren always was sure of herself. She knew what she wanted and she got it. What made this any different? "I'm not like you and Kelly," She continued, "You two are so…driven. You know what and where you're going to be for the next forty-five years. I don't even know what I'll be doing in the next few months."

"Well you're right about Kelly. She knows exactly where she wants to go."

She turned and looked at me. "What about you?"

"I know I want to get into the ministry, but I have no idea where. And I have no idea what I'll be doing after Hogwarts."

"What about Scorpius?"

"What about him?" I scoffed hatefully, "Whatever we had…it doesn't matter now. Even if we get our memories back there's no point."

Lauren pursed her lips. "Did he say that?"

"Yep."

"He didn't mean it. He's just scared, imagine if you found out his mother hated you so much she erased your memories."

I frowned. "Are you defending him…_you_?"

"No. I'm not defending him. I'm just trying to make sure you don't do something you regret. I can't stand the guy, but…"

"But what?" I snapped harshly.

"But," She began, "He makes you happy."

"That was before he broke my heart." I let out a sigh, "Now he's just another asshole guy."

"Alright." Lauren sighed knowingly.

"What is it?"

"I think you both are ridiculous. At first I thought it was the stupidest thing you'd ever done, but now I think this is."

I sat up and glared down at her. "I didn't do anything!_ He_ was the one that decided that _he _didn't want to wait. That I wasn't worth it and we were better off going back to the way things were!"

"Wait…_he broke it off_?"

"I don't know what he was breaking off since we aren't together, but yeah."

Her face looked crestfallen. "Huh…I didn't see that coming."

"I did." I confessed turning to face her. "You should have seen his face when we came out of the pensive. He was so uncomfortable. I mean I was too, but he looked…_destroyed."_

"He couldn't have looked worse then you do."

"Thanks." I laughed hollowly. "That really helps."

She grabbed my hand. "I'm serious. You look broken."

"Look can we just stopping about it?" I closed my eyes tightly, "I'm sick of talking about it. I'm sick of thinking about it…I just want it all to go away. So please talk about something else, anything else."

"Um…I can't really think of anything." She shrugged thoughtfully. "My life has become quite basic."

I snorted coldly, "Lucky you."

"Oh cheer up mate. You're life has been worse."

I frowned. "I'm sure it has."

Lauren gave me this searching look and shook her head. I guess she was expecting me to be melodramatic and say I never have been this upset before. But I wasn't going to. I'm pretty sure I've been more upset before. But it was never this…way. Before whatever I was upset about was a huge blow that I got over quickly. All emotion; anger, tears were all used up in the moment and then were edged away hours later. This didn't. Maybe it was because I didn't scream at Scorpius. Maybe it was because I didn't hysterically cry and loose my mind like I wanted to. Or maybe it was because …this wasn't something stupid enough to spaz out about and then let go of.

After a few minutes she gave my hand a squeeze and left wordlessly. Checking my watch I sighed. I had twelve minutes before I had to pull my shit together and get dressed. I'd been up for three hours and still wasn't hungry. I could do this. I had to. I couldn't live in this state of constant stand still anymore. Things had to go on.

Rubbing my temples, I moved my hands down my face to wipe away any stray tears before pushing myself up to my feet. It was Monday how did that happen? I didn't go to any of my classes, but I couldn't bring myself to care. Tomorrow, I'll care. Tomorrow I'll go back to giving everything my all. I pulled on some jeans and some shirt. I wasn't even entirely sure it was clean, but I was beyond caring. Grabbing a granola bar from my stash in my closet, I crammed it into my mouth and leaned against my closet door as I chewed slowly. It didn't help me at all.

After brushing my teeth, washing my face and pulling my hair back into a ponytail, I starred at the mirror. I didn't even look like me. The hollow under my eyes looked darker than usual, making my whole face look as grim as I felt. I would be okay. I just needed to get through this one day, and then all the others would fall in line.

Walking across my room, I took nothing with me but my wand. I didn't even wear my Head Girl badge. It was always attached to my clothes, but today wasn't it. A headache ached in the back of my head, build large knots in my shoulders, but I did nothing to counter act it. No matter what I found out, there was no way things could get any better so I might as well go in as damaged as I can. At least that way there's no where to go but up.

Once I got to the door, I took a deep breath and starred at it. I could slink off to my dorm. I wouldn't feel particularly good about myself, but I could do it. It would be cowardly, and spineless of me. But would I feel better at the end of the day?

No. I really wouldn't. I would hate myself for not having the balls to stand up to them all. So, against my lesser judgment, I forced myself up the last few steps to the Headmasters office and knocked on the door.

Inside was my mother, father, uncle, aunt, Albus Mr. Malfoy, Mrs. Malfoy, Scorpius, the headmaster and…Kinsley Shacklebolt, Minister of Magic.

The room was pretty well divided in terms of seats. My aunt, uncle, my dad, Albus and the Minister of Magic were on one side. Whereas my mother, Hugo, Scorpius and Mrs. And Mrs. Malfoy sat on the other side. There was an empty seat next to my mother, I took it. The tension in the room grew with every step I took until I could feel every eye baring into me.

If I could describe in one word what my mother's face looked like, it would be rage. Pure, unfiltered rage, and I knew exactly who it had been directed at though I didn't look at him.

"Ms. Weasley," The headmaster started wearyingly. "I've heard several accounts of what has happened. Your father has denied erasing either yours or Mr. Malfoy's memory. As you know if your father has committed this crime he will be taken to jail until his trail. But we want to get all testimony's before we do this."

I nodded as my mother's hand slipped into mine reassuringly. "I understand."

"Now do you think your father did this?"

"This is something he would mention, think seriously about doing, but until I saw the memory I wouldn't have believed he would break the law over something like this."

The headmaster scratched his black thinning beard wisely. "I see. The problem we are running into Ms. Weasley is that your father has an alibi for the day in question."

My whole face dropped into shock. "Excuse me?"

"I looked into his work log Rose," My Uncle told me a few seats next to me. "He was away on business."

"What and he couldn't have lied and flooed in here?" I scoffed dismissively. "I'm sure it's not that difficult to get in here."

This was apparently my mother's cue. "Actually it is. Since the first war new measure's have been taken so no intruders can enter without the knowledge of the Headmaster."

"I don't understand." I stated simply. "If he didn't enter the grounds then who did? It was my father who did this…we saw the memory."

Albus cleared his throat awkwardly. "No it wasn't."

"What do you mean?" I snapped, "Who was it then?"

"It was Rachel." He admitted sheepishly. "She came to me afterwards and convinced me to keep you two away from each other.

I turned in my chair to glower at my cousin like I never had before. At that moment the Minister of Magic flooed out and Hugo left the room. My body was shaking as my blood boiled from my core.

"And you just what? LET HER? Am I piece of meat to be distributed at your will?" I spat at him lethally as my mother kept a firm grip on my arm.

The headmaster spoke, this time it was directed at the Malfoys. "I will get miss Levitt up here, and if this proves true we will restore her memory and expel her."

"I want more than expelled." Mr. Malfoy announced fiercely, "My son's brain could have been damaged by this. His whole career gone before he even had the chance to start it."

"I understand your concern-"

Mr. Malfoy cut him off swiftly. "No, I don't think you do. My son could have been impaired permanently!"

"I understand your concerns Mr. Malfoy." He spoke diplomatically. "But I must hear all the evidence before I act."

"How did she do it? Then?" I barked at my cousin demandingly, barely containing myself to my chair. "You can't make a polyjuice potion without DNA and Rachel has never been around my father."

It was Albus's turned to look ashamed and I was quite pleased with the scene. "I took one of the hairs from his comb and gave it to her."

The headmaster scowled disapprovingly, moving towards the door. "I will send for Ms. Levitt."

"What the hell is your problem Albus?" I raged unable to keep my fury in any longer. "What could I have possibly done to you to make you do this to me? What was I late to practice?"

My mother stood and forced me back down into my chair, which was surprising considering she was smaller than me. Then again my mother was always more forceful than her body permitted. Scorpius, who had been inexplicably silent during this whole thing, cleared his throat. Without meaning to, I shifted to see what he was going to say.

"I'd actually like to hear the answer to that." He spoke clearly with a very obvious threatening tone.

"You don't deserve her." Albus announced through gritted teeth.

I let out a loud scoff of disagreement. "What and you think you have the right to decide that? What am I the queen of England or something?"

"Albus, shut up," Aunt Ginny told her son sternly as she leveled him with a look. "You could get expelled!"

"He should be expelled." I told her bluntly.

"For what?" Albus cried in frustration. "I didn't do anything."

"Ever heard of people being charged for being accessories to a crime?" I told him cuttingly.

"Oh come on! Your acting like this is a big deal. I did you a favor!"

"YOU BIGOTED ASSHOLE!" I roared finally stepping out of my mother's grip. "HOW THE HELL DID YOU DO ME A FAVOR? THE WAR IS OVER! HE ISN'T A FUCKING DEATH EATER! HE'S A GOOD PERSON! YOU ON THE OTHER HAND ARE NOT!"

When I let out the last word of venomous hate, I let out a breath and seriously considered hexing the life out of him. And I would have. Even my mother couldn't have stopped me at this point. My cousin seriously needed to be in some pain. Some agonizing, leg twitching pain. After all the self-entitled bullshit he's been spinning to make this okay to myself. How could he do this to me? I loved him! When he split his knee open and was crying, who held him and told him it would be okay? ME! When he thought he couldn't make Quidditch Captain because he wasn't good enough who put in a good word with the previous Captain? And who gave him pep talks the week before to give him the confidence to not blow our first game? That would be. And why did I do all that? Was it for nothing? Did none of that matter now? He acted like he could just see something I couldn't. But what could he possibly be seeing that would make him do these things? It wasn't just that I hated what he did. It was the fact that I couldn't understand why he did it. He didn't have any justifiable reason to do any of this. But I never said anything else because at that moment the door opened and Rachel Levitt was in the doorway with the Headmaster.

For once, she didn't look so smug. Her blonde hair was pulled back off her face, and her face had no make up on it. Rachel's piercingly light eyes focused on me briefly before zeroing in on Scorpius. It was weird, but out of everyone…I wasn't mad at her, because she, unlike everyone else, never pretended for a second that she wasn't capable of this. All she wanted was to marry Scorpius. Get the pureblood title and have beautiful blonde babies. I couldn't even fight that, because she never wavered. Even my father, who did nothing in this whole situation, was still on my bad list. It was too conceivable for me to believe that he did this. It shouldn't be this easy. Then again everything shouldn't be this hard.

It was then that everything became…_clear_. My Aunt kept a tight grip on Albus. Uncle Harry was keeping his wife from killing his son. Mrs. Malfoy held her husbands hand firmly to stop him from killing my cousin. My mother was keeping me from killing everyone. But who was my dad keeping in line? No one. He wasn't keeping anyone in line. My father didn't ask if I was okay. This whole time he didn't say a word to me. Instead, he spent the time he was forced to sit in here glaring at the Malfoy's. This meeting wasn't about Scorpius getting me pregnant, having sex with me, trying to marry me, or anything like that. But the distinctive look on his face said it was. He wasn't worried about me. He was worried about what Malfoy had done to his daughter.

Taking a breath, I sat down and I did something I thought I would be unable to do just a few seconds earlier. I listened. Rachel was asked if she had done it, she looked at me an unashamedly said yes. I would have been…so embarrassed that I went out of my way to manipulate a man into being with me. I wouldn't be able to look anyone in the face if I did what she did, but she had no problem with it. Why? Because she owned it. She wanted something, and she went for it, it didn't work, but she doesn't care. Why? Because she did everything she could and now she was done. Maybe that was my problem. I didn't know how to let go of things when they were finished.

"Well Ms. Levitt given the evidence you will be expelled. Using that charm is illegal." He announced to the room very formally.

"Scorpius spoke up immediately, "What about Potter?"

I looked at my cousin and knew the answer before I could verbalize it. Frowning somberly, I told him, "They should both be suspended, and she should loose her prefect badge."

"Ms. Weasley, their crime's were severe-" The headmaster started shocked at my calm reply, but I had interject. He had to understand.

"I'm well aware of that Sir. But I don't want to ruin the rest of their lives." I glanced at Albus. As I looked into his green eyes I fought my anger. I fought my hate and tried to remember that deep down I loved him. And then I did what I always tried to do but always managed to mess up. I did the right thing. Expelling them wouldn't make my life any better and in the longer run I might feel guilty for not giving them one last chance to redeem themselves. It wasn't easy, but I knew I had to do it.

"I think they should have any privileges taken away, be suspended for two weeks and be forced to stay away from us." I answered hollowly, "I think that's pretty fair."

"That's it?" Rachel questioned, skeptically eyeing me.

I sighed and scanned her. "That and I want my memories back."

The headmaster went to his desk. After a few minutes of glancing at all of us thoughtfully he seemed to learn to agree with me. "Very well. Does that work with you Mr. Malfoy?"

And out of all the people in the room he could look at. Draco Malfoy moved a fraction of an inch in his seat to look at me. He looked so much like his son, that it broke me a little to look at him, but I didn't fight the tears that brimmed to the surface. I let them linger there so he could see. I wasn't putting on a charade. I was genially over this. As soon as I had the opportunity to get my revenge I realized it wasn't what I really wanted, and oddly enough I saw that Mr. Malfoy, the last person in world I thought would get that did without a word.

"Yes. But if I hear a word about either one of them harassing my son-"

"They will be expelled instantly." The headmaster agreed wisely. "Ms. Levitt, step forward and give them back what you stole."

Rachel scowled but did as she was told. "Fine."

Standing up, I tried to prepare myself. Finally I was going to understand something. She raised her wand and whispered a spell to quietly for me to hear and then there was a jolt and …everything came back. It was like a jellyfish jumped out of the ocean wandered on up the castle, came into the headmaster's office and calmly placed its tentacles on me. Forget the fact that they can't survive outside of water. This jellyfish had eyes and a face, and it sighed before it electrocuted me. And through that rush I saw everything. Every touch, every laugh, every argument whirled through my brain until it hit the last memory. Then everything just stopped.

My eyes filled with tears. I loved him. It wasn't just a little crush or something that we made up. I loved him and we had decided we were going to be together in spite of everything. It was like someone took a blood pressure clamp and suctioned all the blood out of my heart. Glancing over at Scorpius, I saw nothing at first, but then his clear grey eyes twisted and turned in regret. He was going to say he didn't mean it. But it didn't matter. He had given up and he was right. Clearly we didn't belong together.

My mum stood up and turned me around to look at her. "Are you okay?"

"No. I'm not. I have to go."

"Sweetie," She held onto me attempting to reassure me, but I didn't want it.

My blue eyes locked onto her warm brown ones. "Mum, just let me leave please…" I dropped my voice. "I can't be around any of them right now."

"Your father didn't do it sweetie. Why wouldn't you want to see him?"

Aware that everyone was blatantly listening to our conversation I let out a choked sigh. "Just because he didn't do it doesn't mean he wouldn't have. Why else would you have sided with me so easily?"

She didn't have an answer for that. No one did.

So I kissed her cheek and maneuvered out of her grip. Someone's hand grabbed me to stop me. It was my uncle. "Rose just wait okay?" His voice was so soft and gentle. He wanted to make everything all right, but what he didn't realize was that he couldn't fix this.

"Uncle Harry," I whispered, "Let go."

"Rose-"

Looking up at him, my lip trembled, "Please."

I saw the conflict in his green eyes, so much like his sons, as he released me. Then I pushed open the door and cried all the way down the steps. By the time I got to library my face was puffy and red. It didn't matter to me. I just wanted to go somewhere that I knew they wouldn't think to look for me for awhile. Sitting in the back by window I buried my head into my hands and shook as I cried.

"Rose?"

I cried harder as I recognized the voice. Why would Aiden be in the library right now?

"Rose?" His hand rested on my back. "Are you okay?"

"No. I am not okay." I cried furious at the question. If was bloody okay would I be sitting in the middle of the empty library crying my eyes out? God I dated such an idiot.

The chair next to me scraped as he sat in it and pulled me into his chest. "Want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Okay. Well then I'm going to sit here until you calm down."

I sniffed loudly looking as unattractive as I possibly could. "Why?"

"Because…That's what friends do."

Keeping to his word, Aiden sat there and let me cry into his chest until I was all cried out. He didn't say anything or try anything all he did was sit there and hold me. When I was done he hugged my lightly and left me there to my own thoughts. After that hard and heavy cry I was still mad as hell, but more than anything I was tired.

So I sat in library and calmly watched the snow fall outside. When the sky eventually grew dark, I walked back to my room, crawled into my bed and put my blanket over my head. I felt like a herd of centaurs had trampled all over me. Leaving nothing behind, but their hove marks and my broken body. Tomorrow I would put all of this behind me and remember that there are millions of people around the world that have it a thousand times worse then me. But tonight, I'm going to be self absorbed and think only of myself.


	18. Get it Right

"Okay guys," I set my chin as I looked at my team firmly. "I know this is not what any of us wanted it and I would like to thank you all for…cooperating. We may have lost a captain, but we haven't trained for this many years to give up now. Ravenclaw," I lowered my voice, "_is a team of little bitches_. They think they are better than us. Yeah, those stuck up idiots think they are better than us. Now come. We haven't worked this hard for this long to just let those book pushers win."

"Weren't you almost in Ravenclaw?" Hugo commented from the corner.

"Yes." I gave a loathing look. "But the hat chose Gryffindor, because I'm more than book smart. I know what it takes to put everything on the line and I'm willing to do it. WHO'S WITH ME?"

All the guys faces became set as they put their hands on top of my mine. "Now this is for the playoff's. Gryffindor on the three? Ready boys?"

"HELL YA!" They chorused loudly.

"ONE, TWO THREE….GRYFFINDOR!"

As I braced myself to walk out there, we all waited for the gate to rise. My fists tightened as I realized how far I had come in the past two days. This was my team. We were going to fight. We were going to win, and when we walk off this field we will be in the playoffs…Merlin I hope so.

**Two days earlier….**

* * *

><p>Glancing at the owl, I frowned. There was no way in hell the team was going to deal well with their Captain not only being kicked off the team, but suspended for two weeks. They were all going to blame me. They were all going to hate me. I hope whoever they pick for new Captain will be at least indifferent to me. Merlin, please let him be nice to me.<p>

Climbing into my uniform I went through my morning routine and raced downstairs with a granola in my mouth. I was pretty shocked, when I was three steps down, to find Malfoy sitting on the couch. I don't know why, but I kept assuming I would get used to the sting of pain every time I saw him. Clearly that wasn't working. It hurt me so deeply to see him, but I was more interested to see how his face looked. He didn't know I was here. I don't know how he didn't hear me, but he didn't. His face was unguarded displaying exactly how he feeling. It was… remarkable. For years I was accustomed to the fact that his face was inept at showing emotion. To now discover that he simply mastered controlling his emotions was enlightening. Now I saw purely unfiltered …_agony_. His eyes were bloodshot, his uniform, which was usually pressed and perfectly dressed was askew and half hazardly buttoned. Scorpius's tie wasn't even tightened. He looked unhinged and I wanted to know why. I hoped it was because he realized he loved me and he shouldn't have given me up, but I wasn't delusional. There were so many things I still didn't know about him that he could be upset about anything really.

Shaking my head, I swallowed the rest of my granola bar and went down stairs without looking at him. He wasn't my problem anymore. I had to focus on myself and getting my life back on track. I had to let go of him. I had to let go of us. I had to.

Biting my lip, I walked out of my common room. Okay so I might have walked faster than my usual pace, but I don't think he even noticed. I can't be sure of course though, because I didn't dare to look at him. Instead I just marched on. He may have said something, but I walked too fast to catch it if he did. I headed to the kitchens and got some breakfast. While I ate my chocolate chip pancakes, eggs and washed it down with some orange juice, I could help, but think I was eating a breakfast of champions.

Once I finished my delicious meal, I thanked the house elves and went to defense. I knew that he would sit in his usual seat next to me and I thought I was prepared. Sure it wouldn't be as easy as I hoped it would be, it never is…but I can do this. I'm starting over a new leaf. He doesn't want to be with me. Fine. I'm done then. I will be cordial with him and only talk to him when he talks to me. Which probably won't be that often anyway since he has his pride to protect. I can do this. I'm Rose fucking Weasley. This is my school and I'm not going to hide in a hole. I run this!

As soon as I left the kitchen and headed to class I heard the passing students pointing and whispering about me. For once, I enjoyed it. I hoped every last person in the whole school heard what happened to me. And I hope they told their friends and I hope they all had a damn good time hearing about it. Because I, Rose Weasley was over their high school crap. My team is going to win the Quidditch cup. I'm going to graduate, with honors. I'm going to get a cool job at the ministry. And in twenty-five years when I'm sitting with my three children telling them about my time at Hogwarts I'm going to tell them flipped them all the bird and did better than all of them. Because I'm Rose fucking Weasley.

Strolling into class I saw several open seats. I could just sit in the back and settle for conquering the world from the back row. But no. I'm not going to run away. I'm going to sit where I always sit, do my work and leave this place like a legend. Or like a boss. Depending on what career I go into it. Across the room I saw Lauren and Kelly give me questioning looks. I would explain everything to them later. Now was not the time. Scorpius was starring off into the distance when I started walking over to him. Taking a deep breath, I stood up straighter and held my bag closer to me. His appearance was slightly better than earlier. He had managed to pull it together enough to straighten his tie and shave. But other than that he still looked like shit. But I wasn't allowed to care anymore. So I sat down next to, got out my paper on fire versus water spells and started outlining my paper for Potions.

It took him a minute to realize someone was sitting next to him. By the time he noticed class was about to start and I was starting the introduction to my paper

"You're sitting here?" He whispered incredulously. Then he looked at my paper, "How long have you been here?"

"Well _I'm_ not going to sit next to Tracy Smulders." I snorted gesturing to the only open seat left, "You are more than welcome to her."

Scorpius blinked in confusion, "I don't understand. Does this mean-?"

"This means nothing." I told him sharply. "This is my seat and I'm going to sit here for the next few months unless the teacher tells me to sit somewhere else. If you have a problem. Feel free."

"I'm not going anywhere." He told me and I had a feeling he wasn't just talking about seating wise. But I fought the urge to look at him. I wasn't going to loose myself in his eyes, in him.

So as class continued I did everything I could to ignore him. I took notes. I turned in my paper. I talked to Elyse Hopper behind me when I was supposed to be practicing spells with him. And I left class without saying a single word to him. Lauren and Kelly didn't let me off that easy. The instant I was in the hallway Lauren linked her lengthy arm with mine and little Kelly grabbed my hand.

"Well hi guys," I snorted. "Can I help you?"

"You sure can asshole," Lauren shot back to me as she dragged me into an empty classroom and sat me down in a chair. "Tell us what happened."

"Well," I went into the explanation calmly earning appropriate responses from my friends.

"So… _basically_…they got away with it." Kelly scowled uncharacteristically harsh. "I can't believe this."

"Please tell me you aren't going to just forgive them." Lauren interjected instantly, her tall form towering over me intimidatingly.

I frowned. "Of course not, but to be honest I don't think Rachel will be a problem."

"What about Albus?"

"What about Albus?" I breathed starring up at the pair of them.

Kelly put her hand on my shoulder, "Are you going to forgive him?"

"No. I'm not. I'm going to ignore him until he figures out what he's done."

"What if he doesn't?"

"Then," I inhaled sharply. "I will never speak to him again."

Kelly looked at me unsurely, "But he's family. How can you just ignore him?"

I shook my head firmly. "No one has the right to tell me what to do with my life let alone to control it.."

"Come on Rose," Lauren rolled my eyes. "He's your cousin. It's not like you can just not talk to him for the next fifty years."

"_Actually_," I started fiercely, "I can. If Albus can't get it into his head that I am not a slab of meat that he can control. Then he doesn't deserve to have me in his life. _That's it_. I'm not going to rethinking this. If he can't see how unbelievably wrong everything he's done is. I don't want to know him."

"Oh." Kelly's hand slid off my shoulder. "If you're sure."

"I am."

Standing up, I gave him a stiff smile. "Thanks for the consideration guys, but I'm doing great." Then, before they could give me the, _we-are-your-friends-so-we-know-you're-full-of-shit _look, I left for Potions.

In Potions, I sat by myself. Today the professor left me alone. I guess the teachers were told what happened so she felt the need to not put me on display like usual. I had a good time. I even considered playing Mad Libs, but even though I did nothing to deserve the Albus situation, it felt sad and pathetic to play by myself. I mean who plays Mad Libs by themselves? Not anyone I want to share my quills with. After class I headed to lunch and I realized that tonight we had Quidditch practice tonight. All my confidence faded. What if they all ambushed me and hated me? I took away their captain two practices before the game that will get us into the playoffs. _Oh Merlin._ _They're going to murder me…._

* * *

><p>Going to lunch, I sat next to Lauren and was surprised to find Kelly missing. "Where's the short one?"<p>

"She said something about the library. Are you going to Hogsmede this weekend?" Lauren moved on.

I shook my head. "I have to work on my Charms final project. I think I'm going to bewitch my music box, to play music and flip through pictures."

"Huh." She gave me an approving nod before turning to her copy of the Daily Prophet. "Are we going to pretend that you aren't upset about the fact that everyone is taking turns to ruin your life?"

"Yep."

Lauren took of sip of her orange juice. "Alright, as long as we're both on the same page."

"Hey…did we do New Years resolutions?" I thought aloud suddenly.

"No…We didn't." She frowned. "First year we haven't."

Grabbing a quill and spare piece of parchment I smiled with a thought. "Well why don't we make a end of the year resolution?"

"Okay…" She laughed at me, "What's yours?"

"I'm going to…" I tried to think of something I'd always wanted to do but never had the balls to do. "Get a tattoo."

Lauren lowered her newspaper. "Now that I would pay to see. What would you get?...a stack of books down your forearm." She mocked me easily.

"Nah, probably a crescent moon around my hip."

"Want to do that next Hogsmede trip?"

Nervously I nodded and scribbled it down, there was no backing out now. "What about you?"

"Ugh…Picking a career would be nice."

"Something more specific than that and not something you have to do." I encouraged her. "Come on. Work with me here."

"Fine," Lauren took a bite of her sandwich before answering, "How about I get a tattoo?"

"Please don't be one of those idiots that get it on their calves, that _never _looks good."

Lauren wiped her mouth pensively. "Um…nah I think I'd get it on my wrist."

"Get what though?" I asked as I grabbed some chicken strips.

"Well I'd probably get a caterpillar."

Mid chew I paused and gave her a look. "_A caterpillar_?

"Duh. My favorite children's book is A Very Hungry Caterpillar. Why are you getting a moon?"

"Because the crescent moon is my favorite moon." I pouted taking a bitter bite of food. "I wonder what Kelly's would be, because she sure as hell isn't getting a tattoo."

Kelly hated tattoo's, she'd ranted at the pair of us for two hours on how stupid it was to brand your skin permanently like that. Lauren pointed out to her that you can get them removed. That only made her madder. She said, 'why would you make that serious of a decision that you can take away that easily?' Which we got but also didn't see it as that big of deal. Lauren's boyfriend walked over from the Ravenclaw table, said something to her and kissed her before leaving the Great Hall.

"What did Greg want?"

Lauren shrugged, "Nothing, just was telling me to dress up for our date on Friday."

"Aw," I teased her easily. Then it occurred to me. "You know Kelly has never really gone on a date."

"That's true, but I've always seen her as a career woman. She has other priorities you know?"

Laughing lightly I gave her a half shrug, "I see what you're saying, but what do you say we set her up on a date? I need a project. You need something to plot."

"Deal Weasley," Lauren shook my hand. "Now…who is the lucky guy?"

"Well they have to be over five foot five, not an asshole, not pompous, likes to read…" I started unsurely seeing how small the list, "I see why she doesn't date now…"

"Leave it to me." She winked at me cockily.

"Okay…But don't fuck it up. Kelly may be smaller than both of us, but she's scary when she's mad."

While I was finishing up my homework in my room, Lauren made a detailed list of the eligible men. Then she cross-checked this with their personalities and narrowed it down to three men; Ted Hannigan, Ravenclaw, with a good head of hair who was a little on the shy side. Craig Thomas, Hufflepuff, with a great sense of humor and a nice smile. Or the last contestant Bill Harris, a stocky guy, with horn rimmed glasses and good career prospects.

"What do you think?"

I scanned the names, "Well I personally would pick Craig. But I'm not Kelly."

"Yeah that's my problem too." She frowned sitting down on my bed. "I'd pick Ted."

"Okay well here's the plan why don't I try to see which she finds more attractive? And you think of the perfect Kelly date for them to go on?"

"Deal," She high fived me and then glared at my parchment. "You know you only had to write a foot right? This is like three."

"Yep."

She rolled her eyes and ruffled my hair. "Whatever makes you feel better."

Then she stood and left me with my piles of homework that I had to finish before practice. I was happy I had homework it gave me the perfect distraction from everything. Instead of thinking about Scorpius, Albus or my dad, I thought about the proper principals of a dragon dye. This controlled my attention for a bit, but at 5:15 when I finished that faded quick. Instead of the usual worries though I thought of the Quidditch practice I had in two hours. Who was going to be captain? My vote would be Hugo over Josh. What if they all decided to throw things at me? What if they all came prepared with the things they wanted to throw? Like tomatoes…or eggs….or pudding balloons. Pulling on my Quidditch robes I sighed. Please, please don't let them hate me.

First, I went to dinner. Lauren was sitting with her boyfriend over at the Ravenclaw table and I sat with Kelly.

Her nose was in a book. As always. "Hey Kelly," I started in a sleazy tone. "I've got a game for you. Lauren and I got into a debate and I need you to fix it."

"What is it?" She asked softly looking up from her book.

"Marry, sex or kill."

Rolling her eyes, "Well that's kind of redundant since I won't have sex till I get married."

"Fine pick one of these three contestants. Craig Thomas, Ted Hannigan and Bill Harris."

Blushing slightly she went back to her book with a small smile. "Ted."

"Damnit." I swore, "She was right."

"About what?"

I smiled and grabbed myself some food. "Oh nothing. Want to go with me to Hogsmede this weekend?"

"I was going to read Great Expectations this weekend and weren't you going to work on your Charms project?"

"I need to get out," I lied sympathetically. "And I thought you could keep me company."

Her answer changed instantly. "Of course! We can have a little date."

"Good." I smirked as she went back to her book.

Leaving the table with the rest of the team I felt like I was going to keel over. They weren't going to kick me off too were they? That would just be stupid….But they aren't that angry are they?...Right? No one said anything as we trailed to the field. So I grabbed Hugo my his upper arm.

"They're going to murder me aren't they?" I whispered frantically.

"No," He laughed pulling my hand of him, "_You lunatic_. No one's mad at you. Actually they're all pretty pissed at Albus. Now we have to use Mike Savage….If he doesn't shape up. We might kill him."

I let out a sigh of relief. "Good."

"Though it's going to awkward as ass picking a new Captain. It's between you, Luke, and Benny."

"My money's on Luke." I nodded in approval.

"Look," Hugo started sincerely looking at me. "I'm sorry about the whole Scorpius thing."

My face dropped and I looked away from him. "Yeah."

"Are you guys going to get back together?"

"I don't think so….I don't really want to talk about it." I told him dismissively.

Hugo scowled, "Rose. What are you doing?"

"I'm not doing anything Hugo."

Hugo stopped walking and stopped me too. "Rose…you love him. Why are you pushing him away?"

"Pushing him away? He was the one that broke things off!"

"Well clearly he made a mistake." He shook his head. "You don't see the way he looks at you Rose. He loves you….No wonder he looked like he was run over by a truck today."

Raising my chin, I glared at Hugo. "Look. I love you and I forgive you, but he chose this. And if he loved me he would be fighting for me. He would have told me it was a mistake. He would have done something. He has done nothing. So he can love me all he wants from his kiddie pool of pride. I'm done trying to make this something it's not. He can live his life and I'm going to live mine."

"If that's how you feel."

"I do. Now let's go. We have to get prepare for the playoffs."

My little brother followed me onto the field and saw Benny, Luke, Mike, Patrick and Leo sitting on the field.

"Hey guys," I smiled at them. "So how are we doing this empty ballots or-"

"We already voted you in Rose." Luke told me bluntly, "Can we start now?"

Hugo laughed, "Wait I don't even get a vote?"

"Are you guys sure?" I swooned slightly touched by the gesture.

"You're a natural leader Red." Benny told me with an easy smile.

I took a breath. "Okay, yeah then everybody get up in the air." Pulling Hugo aside I whined, "If they kill me in the air you better avenge me."

"Aye aye sis."


	19. Pretending

You know those days were you really just can't get anything together no matter what you do? This is a brief snap shot of one of those days.

Walking up from what felt like a coma at 7:40 I rushed into the shower. I was supposed to be awake at 6:40, but for some reason I didn't even sleep through my alarm it was like I couldn't wake up even though I heard the beeping. Stumbling into the shower I did everything at warped speed. I was supposed to wake up early, write my speech to say to the team, make the schedule for the prefect's rounds and maybe get some breakfast. Did I get to do any of that? Oh no that would just be too convenient!

On the way out of the shower, I crammed my toothbrush into my mouth and I didn't even bother to brush my hair. I would look like a bag lady today if I had to in order to get to class on time. Slipping into my crappy half broken flip-flops, I scrubbed my teeth with one hand and put a towel around my body with the other. Then I spit out the toothpaste, chucked my toothbrush on my counter and bolted into my bedroom. Unfortunately one of four things at that time; one, being my towel began to slip, two, I stepped wrongly on my flip-flop, three, I fell forward and four, my ex boyfriend walked in the room. If one of those four things didn't happen I probably would have some dignity. But, I slipped, my towel dropped and Aidan saw me fully naked. I let out the most girlish, horrified scream, and dove behind my bed.

"WHAT….THE HELL… ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?"

"I just wanted to talk to you!"

"Can't you have the decency to look away?" I roared hiding behind my bed frame.

Aidan laughed, but still didn't all together turn away. "Rose, I dated you for two years. I've seen you naked millions of times."

"That's great and all," I spat at him cuttingly. "But you have a girlfriend and as I am not yours anymore you can't just idly stare at my naked body!"

"Alright, alright," He raised his hand defensively, "I'll wait for you downstairs, but by while we are on the subject, you are really getting a toned as-"

His speech was cut short as I grabbed my wand and trained all of my books to beat him down the stairs. Snatching my fallen towel I draped it over my still wet form and whined. How do I get into these situations? I just wanted to wake up, and get through the day. Now I was humiliated…again. It should be nothing new right? Pulling myself up to my feet, I heaved on my uniform, looped my bag around my shoulder and went down to my common room.

"So what is it," I began in the most irritated voice I could muster, beneath never ending blush. "That you wanted that you couldn't possibly wait to ask me later in the day?"

Aidan sighed with a smile, "I wanted to see if you were okay."

"Well it's that just great. I'm glad you got to see that," I grumbled slumping into the seat next to him. "I'm fine."

"No you're not." He told me flatly, "But you will be."

I let out a sigh and checked my watch. "I got nothing done that I needed to. Goddamn... I'm like a constant run away train. Why do people keep letting me be in charge with everything?"

"Because you're a good leader and you have boobs."

"Well thank you." I snorted rising of the couch, "But me and my boobs have to get to class. As do you and your fat ass."

"You used to love my fat ass."

"Used to, being the key words." I told him snottily, throwing my hair up, "Aren't you supposed be kissing your new girlfriend's ass?"

Aidan shrugged.

"Trouble in paradise?"

"I found out she smoked." He stood up and started walking with me. "I'm over it."

I laughed and adjusted my bag strap. "You do have a good ability to get over things easily."

"It's not easy. It's just quick."

"Ah huh." I mocked him. "So do you have the next girl lined up?"

He looked guilty.

"You know, you're quite an asshole." I scoffed.

"True, but I'm glad to hear you're doing better. I've never seen you loose it like that." Aidan admitted quietly as we paused outside of the Transfigeration.

I smiled up at him with a sigh. "Well thank you for your concern and I hope you and whoever the new girl is hit it off." Then I reached up, gave him a friendly hug and moved to the door. Over my shoulder, I yelled, "And next time knock or I'll blind you!"

Sitting next to Lauren, I pulled out my blank schedules and started filling them in.

"You look… crazed."

"I have a lot on my mind." I told her blankly, as I started scribbling names. "I'm going to need you to take notes today for me."

Lauren's eyebrows shot up. "Me? Take notes?"

"You always borrow mine. This friendship will now be two sided. You have better handwriting then Kelly and I need help." I told her bluntly.

"Fine," She sulked. "I'll do it. What are you going to do?"

I covered my mouth with a yawn. "I'm going to finish the prefect schedule. I'm going to start making the plans for tonight's game. I've already mastered this spell. I know everything about it. I basically take notes to memorize the wording and to give them to you."

The teacher didn't notice my lack of participation. It helped that for once Lauren decided to raise her hand. By the time class ended, I had finished everything. At lunch I let myself relax and I sat by the team. We talked about Ravenclaw's weaknesses and how to pin point them.

Hugo sat in the seat next to me, made me a plate of food, and forced it in front of me. "I noticed you've been running on empty."

"I've just been busy."

"I know, but you still have to take care of yourself."

I hugged his arm thankfully and took a bite. "Thanks, I'm trying."

"Oh and you might want to Owl Victoree she needs to set a dress fitting with you."

"I can just send her my size. It's more important that I'm there for her dress fitting. I'll just ask when she's good and I'll work my schedule around her," I took another bite and let out a breath. "I'm sure she's freaking out. There's probably a lot she has to plan."

Hugo smiled. "That's not the only reason she wants you to Owl her. She wants to ask you something."

"What is it?" I asked him distractedly. "I'll wear whatever she wants it's her day."

"I think she wants to ask you to be Maid of Honor."

I choked on my food, my eyes bugged out. "She w…what?"

"She was going to ask her sister, but she didn't think she could handle it. So she was wondering if you wanted to. If you're not too busy with all of the other things you're doing."

My eyes watered, and it wasn't from choking. Putting down my fork, I looked my little brother. "Of course I will."

"Are you sure?" He looked at me with concern. "You're Headgirl, Quidditch Captain, top of your class and you want to add Maid of Honor to that?"

"I could use the distraction."

He gave me a look. "You still haven't talked to him?"

"No and I don't intend to." I looked away from him. "I told you to drop this."

"Yes, but when do I ever listen to you?"

I rolled my eyes and went back to eating. "What about you and your little Slytherin friend?"

"I'm working on it."

"Well you might want to hurry up. You don't have all the time in the world."

Hugo elbowed me, "Speak for yourself."

As Hugo joined the guys in their conversation I dared a look at the Slythern table. I didn't expect to find him looking at me and he wasn't. He was talking to some blonde fifth year slut. I should have figured. Glancing away I felt my heart clench and my eyes water again. Finishing my meal, I ruffled Hugo's hair and went to the owlery. It was mainly to owl Victoree back a response, but it was also to get away from Scorpius. He had given up on me and it was probably for the best. I don't know what I was expecting. I guess the romantic in me just hoped that I'd been wrong. That's a girl thing. A guy can treat us like crap, openly tell us how they despise the earth we walk on and yet we hope. Why? One because we don't want anyone to honestly hate us that much. And two because we want to believe that we have the ability to change someone's life for the better to the point where they realize how great we are.

Sitting on the top step of the owlery, I didn't feel great. I felt worn out and it was only 12. The funny thing about me is I will have a great resume, but no social life. After Hogwarts I will owl Lauren and Kelly, but it won't be the same. We will get lunches here and there, but I'll be so busy I'll probably just go home to my owl and big comfy bed. At this point though, that doesn't seem as bad as it used to. Walking back to my dorm, I fixed my unruly hair, but on some make up and adjusted my uniform. In the rush of this morning I miss buttoned my shirt and had my shirt half tucked into skirt and half hanging out. I was a hot mess.

Cracking my neck, I relaxed for a minute. I had a half hour until I had to run off to charms and I was in no hurry to get there. Tossing my bag in my closet, I paused when I saw Scorpius's green sweater. I don't know why I had the sudden urge to rip the thing, but I did. Instead, I grabbed it and rushed over to his room. I knocked, he didn't answer. Not wanting to walk in on anything, I simply folded in and left it outside his door. I wish I could find that necklace or I could have some token of our …whatever it was so I could break it. I wanted to just burn something. And it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he was talking to that whore…Nothing at all.

I needed to stop thinking about him. Immediately…right now….or now….Going back to my room I flopped on my unmade bed and frowned. This sucked. I knew too much. I remembered too much. Maybe it would be different if we'd never kissed. Then I could lie here and think that he could be bad at it. But no, he was a phenomenal kisser. Maybe it would be different if hadn't legitimately talked to each other. Then I could just think he was just this pretty idiot with a need to piss me off. But the sad thing was I knew better, and it was eating me alive. Why couldn't we just be two normal people? Why did everything that involved us have to blow to ridiculous proportions?

My alarm went off on my watch, I groaned and went to class. In class I sat by the window and watched the snow defrost on the grounds before class started.

"You excited for the game tonight?"

I nodded, "We're going to win."

"I love that confidence." Kelly snorted with a smile. "What do you think are your chances to making the playoffs?"

"Excellent."

"So you think you're going to make it all the way through?"

I smiled at her series of questions. "Yes."

"And you guys are going to win the cup?"

"Yes." I laughed, "Were are you going with this?"

She shifted in her seat to fully face me. "Okay saw you win, and all of your dreams come true."

"…Waiting for the question."

"Who is the person that you want standing next to you?"

I blinked at her, I looked confused, but I wasn't. A face popped into my mind, but I ignored it. "What do you mean?"

"When everything you've ever wanted happens who are you going to tell?"

"You and Lauren."

She rolled her eyes. "I mean besides us."

"Hugo."

"Someone you are not related to."

I frowned, "Where are you going with this?"

"I think you should talk to him."

Banging my head on my desk I groaned. "What is with you and Hugo? You both don't even like him!"

"Not especially, but he makes you happy. You look a lit up inside even when you've just come from arguing with him."

"Well that's over." I told her sitting up and getting out my notes.

"Is it?"

Her tiny little voice got to me, and I couldn't look at her. She knew me better than I liked. She knew I was hurting. She knew I was avoiding him and everything to do with him, because I didn't want to break again. I had too much to do with my life to let a guy get to me like this. I needed to focus. But I couldn't. I spent the whole class starring out the window. Kelly walked me halfway back to my room.

"So you know we're planning you a surprise party." She stated with an elfish smile.

I gave her a look and then I realized it was March already. My birthday was a month. "You guys really don't have to."

"Of course we do!" She beamed up at me.

"Oh shit, I have to go talk to Stella about who's replacing Rachel." I looked down at her apologetically. "I'll see you at dinner okay?"

She nodded and gave me a hug. "Good luck."

Turning on my heel I headed for the dungeons. Most Slytherin's at the very least tolerated me, with a few minor exceptions. Stella was the only one I openly liked and she would know better than I would who would be a good replacement for Rachel this far into the semester. Once I passed a crowded corridor, I pulled out my books. I had a reason for pulling them out, but that reason because irrelevant as I turned the corner.

"Weasley?"

I wanted throw myself off a building when I turned and saw none other than Scorpius Malfoy standing behind me. "Yes?"

"What are you doing down here?"

"Looking for Stella…we need to replace Rachel."

His face was impassive as ever. "I already did."

"With who?" I questioned in surprise.

"Amber Riley."

Not a bad choice, probably actually the person I would have gone with, but I was shocked that he did this without speaking to me. "Oh…okay."

"Mad?"

"No. That's fine." I then moved to walk away and he blocked me. "What now?"

His face twisted, and I could practically feel the hate radiating from him. "Going to get back together with your old boyfriend now?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I saw you hugging earlier," His face looked unconcerned, his voice didn't match up. "And I saw him head up to your room."

Sighing, I bit my lip. "The asshole, went to see me without knocking and walked in on me naked…Not that I owe you any explanation, but I'm not planning on dating him."

"Going to go for Rick then?"

My face twisted in disgust. "Rick Fitzpatrick? Seriously?"

"Well at the rate you jump to new things, I'd say he's your best bet." He sneered coolly.

"You know, I have this aggravate urge to slap you, but I won't because you told me this was what were going to do." I started bitterly, "Go back to the way we used to be, right? Well you've already said your cutting and uncommonly cruel remark. I've already defended myself. So now I would like to pass."

His face twitched, "What for?"

"If you don't move," I looked away from him. "I'll move you. So why don't you just save up whatever comments you've created about me being a dumb, typical, cheap, whore and move now."

"What happened to you?"

This question infuriated the life out of me. "Me? I just realized that you care nobody, but yourself and I was nothing, but a weird arrangement gone wrong. So kindly move Malfoy."

"Rose," My insides clenched as I halted. My books dug into my arm as I held them closer to me. As if my textbooks could give me some kind of support. They couldn't.

"It's funny," I scowled, "You're supposed to be the great ray of hope for you family. Do better than them, show that you aren't like your grandfather, but right now, you are nothing, but a pretty boy with money." I looked up at him. "I thought I saw something in you, but I was wrong."

"What if…" He gulped and let out a harsh breath. "What if I admitted I made a mistake."

I let out a dry laugh. "You can't even do that though can you? Your pride will only allow you to ask. I'm done okay? You didn't love me. I got it. Message sent and received."

Defeated he lowered his arm and looked dejected. "I never said that."

"Yeah, but you're too much of a coward to deny it either."

"Rose-"

"Enough," I breathed, "Just enough."

Then, before I lost my nerve I moved out of his reach and walked away.

As I changed into my Quidditch robes, I rehearsed what I was going to say to the team. We were ready for this game, but I was nervous as hell. I'd been the leader of several organizations since I was little, but this was different. It was like everything was pounding down on me at once. But that was the way everything was in my life. It was either crazy and chaotic or boring and simple. Taking steadying breaths, I tried to ignore everything and focus. Then when I was calm, I left for the great hall.

Benny had saved me a seat next to him, "Hey Cap, you look frazzled."

"I've had a long day Ben." I sighed exhaustedly. "How's the morale going?"

"We're pretty split. It's a tight race on which team everyone's betting on."

I let out a breath. "I hope Robbie Turner fractures his arm or something on the way to the game."

"Not likely boss." Benny frowned.

"Ughh…I hope Luke can pull this one out of his ass, otherwise I will have the shortest Captainship ever."

Benny gave me an easy natured smile and clapped me on the back. "You'll be alright. James was Captain for five years, it's in your blood."

"That's reassuring." I snorted flashing him a grateful smile.

I ate a little bit, but not a lot. I was too nervous. I worried if I ate too much I might hurl all over the field. Soon enough though it was time for us to go. Luke, who I'd never seen so pale, stood up like a prince about to take over the kingdom. Yes as keeper I had a good stake in this game, but against Ravenclaw it was more about who had the better seeker. Biting my lip, I walked over and linked arms with him. Normally I would never have done such a thing. Luke Pike was such a serious guy I would never imagine even hugging him, but I had this gut feeling that he needed a bit of support.

"Nervous?" He asked me quietly as we made our way out to the field.

I lied. "No."

"Liar."

"Fine, maybe a little bit, but not in your abilities. Robbie is all about the scoreboard. You are all about the team."

Luke let out a breath. "Yes, but with Albus gone we are basically down a scorer."

"We don't need Albus." I told him firmly. "We can do this."

"I wish I had your confidence. We're going to need it."

I released him and let him walk ahead as I waited for the rest of the team. We met up in the locker room. I wrote all the plays on the board as they all filed in.

"Okay guys," I set my chin as I looked at my team firmly. "I know this is not what any of us wanted it and I would like to thank you all for…cooperating. We may have lost a captain, but we haven't trained for this many years to give up now. Ravenclaw," I lowered my voice, "is a team of little bitches. They think they are better than us. Yeah, those stuck up idiots think they are better than us. Now come. We haven't worked this hard for this long to just let those book pushers win."

"Weren't you almost in Ravenclaw?" Hugo commented from the corner.

"Yes." I gave a loathing look. "But the hat chose Gryffindor, because I'm more than book smart. I know what it takes to put everything on the line and I'm willing to do it. WHO'S WITH ME?"

All the guys faces became set as they put their hands on top of my mine.

"Now this is for the playoff's. Gryffindor on the three? Ready boys?"

"HELL YA!" They chorused loudly.

"ONE, TWO THREE….GRYFFINDOR!"

As I braced myself to walk out there, we all waited for the gate to rise. My fists tightened as I realized how far I had come in the past two days. This was my team. We were going to fight. We were going to win, and when we walk off this field we will be in the playoffs…Merlin I hope so.

Stepping onto the field we all lined up. Robbie had this arrogant, pompous smirk planted on his face that made me want to punch him square in the face. He so thought Ravenclaw had this is the bag. I couldn't wait to shove that smirk back in his face. What a cocky asshole.

"Rose."

I nodded, "Turner."

"Good luck Rose and congratulations on making Captain."

"Thanks." I muttered tonelessly.

"Captains shake hands." Madame Thomas announced.

As he reached forward and softly cupped my hand he smiled. "Don't worry Rose, we won't beat you too hard."

My grin grew as my grip tightened. "Oh Robbie, I hope your oversized ego can handle this loss, since as rumor has it your coming up short in other areas."

His face darkened, but I strutted away before he could respond.

Right before we took off, I grabbed Luke by the scruff of his neck. "If you let that pompous, asshole get the better of you I will shove your face in a toilet bowel until you beg forgiveness, do you hear me?"

He nodded.

"Let's go boys!"

As the whistle blew I settled into my zone. I hovered over the hoops and prayed to every god I've ever heard of that we could pull this off. Twenty minutes in the snitch was nowhere to be found, forty minutes in we saw nothing. We attempted to score six times and actually scored twice.

Ravenclaw tried to score ten times, but I managed to scrape by and block all but one of them. After our beaters were fouled for the second time I called for a break.

"Okay, they are definitely planning something." I breathed in frustration. "Turner hasn't moved an inch since the game started, they are barely going after the bludger's and most of those attempts at goals were pitiful."

Luke spoke up first, "I haven't seen the snitch all game. I don't know what he's planning."

"I think they are going for the Izrax ploy." Hugo thought out loud. "All they need is a hundred points to be ahead of Slytherin. They want to let us get comfortable so when Turner makes his miraculous catch-"

"They will look the hero's and we will look like chumps." I finished with a scowl. "Okay new plan. We need to stale mate them….Um, so," I spoke to John, the quiet blonde in front of me. "John I want you to get one more goal. Just one and then after that I literally want you do to do nothing."

He looked at me like I was insane. "What?"

"I want you to get one more goal, and while he's doing that Mike I want you to aggravate the beaters." Mike looked like he was going to protest, but I cut him off. "They're planning to use their beaters at the last minute after Luke, but I want you to aggravate the hell out of them okay? Irritate them anyway you can think of that isn't illegal. Hugo, I want you to start focusing on hitting the bludgers at Robbie. You have to get him moving." I turned to the beater, Joe, "Joe, I need you to leave me and block for Luke."

He objected immediately. "If I leave you alone they will start targeting you and win that way."

"Let me handle it. Now Benny, I need you to just try and score. I don't care if they get the quaffle, but after Mike starts off with it you are going to take over as lead mover okay?"

Benny wiped the sweat off his forehead and nodded exhaustedly.

"Now Luke, I want you to be on the hunt for the snitch. Worry about nothing else okay? You have Joe protecting you. If this plan goes to hell I want everyone to just be aggressive. If we have to lose to those idiots I want it to be because we did everything we could. Okay everyone?"

Hugo let out a low whistle. "This isn't going to be easy Rose."

"Winning never is." I told him with a sigh. "Now everybody in, Kick ass on three, one, two, three…KICK ASS!"

Flying back over to the goals, I gulped. When the whistle blew they all did as I told them to do, and it worked. Ravenclaw was surprised by this new tactic; apparently they didn't think we were smart enough to pick up on what they were planning to do. Unfortunately, they didn't take the bait the way I'd hope I would. Turner, after we had scored three goals, called for a time out. When they came out they weren't being passive anymore. Instead it seemed that Robbie gave his beater's two opponents, Luke and me. Luke fortunately had Joe blocking for him. Once they realized they weren't going to be able to touch Luke, they dropped him and just started going after me. When the quaffle was on Ravenclaw's side, everything was fine. The only time I was in real trouble was when they were in scoring position. Ten minutes into their new plan I was covered in bruises and laced in sweat. I had to give it to them, they were well in shape and they were very good. Calling our last time out, I gathered our team together.

"I can't find the snitch anywhere!" Luke cried out furiously, loosing his cool. "I don't know what the hell to do."

I rubbed my neck, "Calm down."

"It was a good plan Rose, they just caught on too quick." Benny told me sympathetically.

"What's the score?"

"They're leading 60 to 50."

My body froze. "Shit, Shit! Okay we need to pull out all the stops. If they catch the snitch right now we're screwed. Benny and John, go back to just using the V-sweep. Mike, I want you to follow them up with a Crane feign in the middle of their goal. We need another goal guys. Hugo, I want you to stick by me until after they try and score another goal. The minute after they make an attempt I want you on Turner, like glue. Okay? Luke, I want you to stay high and be prepared to make a sharp dive. Robbie is staying low to keep you off his trail, so you stay high so you can get to the snitch quicker. Do whatever it takes you hear me?"

"Rose, I don't know-" Hugo started unsurely.

"HEY! You voted me in captain. Either you think I have this or you don't. Now we aren't going to lose. We have to believe in this and fully commit to it! Now come on! Gryffindor on three, one, two, three…GRYFFINDOR!"

Hugo followed me back to the hoops. "You okay? You're looking a little sluggish."

"I've been hit twenty times, out of the forty they've swung at me." I let out a wheezy breath. "I've blocked only thirty out of the thrity six."

"You're having a rough game…I'm sorry for not backing you fully, I just thought-"

I raised my hand to stop him. "I know Albus was a better Captain, but he's not here. So please just trust me."

Silently, he nodded.

Hugo once again did as I told him, this time though it was done with much more passion. My vote of weak strength seemed to inspire him. I stopped their goal and kicked it to Mike. Then as everyone followed the plan, everything fell into place. Luke saw the snitch, and started diving to catch it. Robbie raced up to stop him, but he was hindered by a beautifully served bludger by Joe. And then after an hour and forty-five minutes, Luke caught the snitch and we won.

Tears of happiness spilled down my cheeks as flew down to the field. Before I could congratulate Luke the rest of the team rushed over to me and enveloped me in a big, sweaty group hug. Hugo hugged me the hardest, whispering how proud of me he was. Finally they released me to go hug the rest of Gryffindor house. A hand tapped me on the shoulder and it wasn't at all who I thought it would be.

"Mum?" I breathed in shock. "What are you doing here?"

She frowned in concern and pushed my hair out of my face. "You look pretty beat up. Should I help you to the hospital wing?"

"I'm just a little bruised up…Shouldn't you be at work?" I looked at my watch in surprise. "Or at home."

"No, I'm right where I'm supposed to be." She pulled me into her arms gingerly and rested her cheek against my shoulder. "I'm so sorry for everything that's happened and I want you to know that I'm here."

My eyes watered. "Thanks mum."

"Now, I'll let you go celebrate with your friends, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm proud of you."

"Thank you."

"Love you," She kissed my cheek and released me with a beaming smile.

As she left to meet up with my aunt, I paused and then I thought back to Kelly's question from earlier today. If all my dreams came true who would be the person I would share it with. The answer was obvious, but it wasn't that simple. For Kelly if you loved someone you said it and meant it. Then that was it. You got the Cinderella wedding, got the princess and wore pretty dresses for the rest of your life. Her version of everything was so Disney. She just wanted to badly for everything to workout for everyone. But sadly I didn't think that was going to work for me. Across the crowd, I saw Scorpius watching me. I didn't smile at him. I didn't go to him. Instead I turned and looked for Lauren and Kelly. Even though I said nothing to him, I knew that he like my mother came to see me play. But I didn't think on it. I just walked with Lauren and Kelly to the victory party and talked about our narrow win.


	20. Not Over You

"I still can't believe we won," Hugo told me as he helped me lower myself into a tub of ice. "I mean I know it's been three days, but I still can't believe it."

"I still can't believe how bruised I am." I groaned as I winced in pain.

He squatted down next to me with a grimace. "Well it doesn't help that you keep going to practice and you told them to practice by throwing bludgers at you."

"I need to get faster. We got lucky with Ravenclaw." I let out a cry as I adjusted myself in the chips of bitter ice water. "Slytherin won't be as easy. Malfoy will have them well prepared."

"Yeah," Hugo's voice wavered. "I saw him at the game."

"Well he had to go see who won didn't he?" I snapped trying to stop the conversation from going down the same conversation he'd been trying to bring up all week.

Hugo set me with a look and whispered. "That's not why he went."

"Honestly, can we not? We have a month to prepare for our final game, and in between then there will be two games to decide who we are up against. I really don't have to time to think about Malfoy."

"Or," He accented superiorly, "You are throwing yourself into all these things so you don't have to deal with him."

"And is that really so wrong?" I let out an agonized breath before pushing myself out of the tub. Shivering violently, I waited for Hugo to hand me a towel. "_Fuck_ that's cold."

"Do you feel better?"

I nodded as he wrapped me in a few towels and handed me my clothes. "Hugo. If I spend enough time ignoring him he will forget about me. I give it two weeks before he's back to his old self."

"You don't believe that."

I waited for my body to stop convulsing and then proceeded to pull on my sweats. "Why are you so confident about this?"

"Because I've talked to him."

As I almost had my pants over my swimsuit bottoms I glowered at my younger brother loathingly. "You …did…_what_?"

"I felt bad! I should have stopped Albus when he started getting all crazy, but I didn't. If I had you two would still be together."

Pulling on my hoodie I shook my head. "You don't know that."

"Yes I do, because that guy would never willing let you go."

"Except," I began airily, "For the fact that that is _exactly_ what he did."

He let out this big over dramatic sigh, "I'm sorry Ro. But I feel for the guy. He screwed up and he knows that he just doesn't have the faintest clue how to fix it."

"How long was this conversation you two shared?" I scoffed incredulously sitting down on the locker room bench. "I mean I really can't see Scorpius Malfoy divulging his soul to a Weasley."

"Why?" Hugo countered, "He did to you."

Tossing my towels into my locker, I frowned at him. "No. He really didn't."

"Come on Rose." He sat on the bench, "I know you're pissed as hell at everyone, but don't push him away."

"What's the point Hugo?" I sat down next to him. "We're graduating in two months and I don't see me and him living together, getting married and having a big happy family after all of this."

His voice softened. "How would you know if you don't try?"

"Because he was the last person I expected trust and I did and now that's gone."

"All I'm asking is don't shut the door on him."

Sighing I let out a groan. "You don't give up do you?"

"Nope." He grinned at me. "Now let's get you back to the castle so we can hoodwink Kelly into going on this date."

Hugo and I strolled into the Ravenclaw common room and waited in the common room. I took a minute to stretch out my limbs. We'd practiced for two hours this morning before class. My body was worn out, but I didn't care as long as we won it would all be worth it. I wasn't lying to Hugo when I said we got lucky. If Ravenclaw wouldn't have been so confident that we wouldn't figure out their plans they could have acted quicker. But they didn't and now all of them were livid. As we sat on the couch, I was a little glad Hugo came with me. I'm sure it wasn't just sibling love that encouraged him to stay by my side all week, but it was nice all the same. It was good to know that when it came to it if one angry Ravenclaw tried to retaliate, my brother would stand up and in his most stern voice tell them to stop. It would be really intimidating. They might even get the hibbie jeebies from the horror of it all.

Kelly, in her innocent glory came downstairs in her regular baggy shirt and loose pants. "You ready to go?"

"That's not going to work." Hugo judged her outfit openly.

"Oh, I'm going to bring my coat." She tried to reassure him, misunderstanding his criticism.

"Actually," I told her trying to work the right angle. "I thought we could dress up for this trip."

She looked down at what I was wearing and became severally confused. "Are you going to change?"

"Yes! Yes I am. So run up stairs and get all ready. I will meet you in the Great Hall okay?"

"Okay," She gave me a strange look, "Is there a reason you want to dress up?"

"Nope," I lied arrogantly. "I just thought it would be a fun idea."

She eyed me suspiciously, but went up the stairs to change.

I let out a sigh of relief. "Now I have to make sure Lauren set up the date."

"Who's the lucky guy anyway?"

"Well, I played a few rounds of marry, fuck or kill with her. And out of our three contestants she chose to marry Ted Hannigan so we decided he was the best option for the blind date. I think it was much harder to get him to agree to doing it."

Hugo's face turned offended as we got to our feet and left the Ravenclaw common room. "Who wouldn't want to date Kelly? She's like sugar, spice, everything nice with a library thrown in."

"It wasn't it that. It was more he felt uncomfortable that she wasn't aware of it before hand." I swooned a little at how sweet the next part. "He admitted that he's always like her he just never had the courage to ask her out."

"How sweet." He mocked walking me back to my dorm. "What I find interesting is something your friend Lauren told me."

I sighed, _please don't talk about Scorpius again_, I begged him silently. "Which was?"

"You're getting a tattoo."

My face fell as my memory returned. "_Oh…no_. I did promise that. Didn't I?"

"I'm sure she will just tease you for pulling out. I don't think she actually expected you to follow through."

"No," I stood up a little straighter. "I'm going to do it."

Hugo stopped dead in his tracks and gave me a look questioning my sanity, "No…Way."

"Yes, I am. I will go …_do that_, and then I will come back and work on my charms project."

"Mum and dad will kill you, you know that right?"

I shrugged, "I doubt mum will care and I really couldn't give a rats ass what dad thinks at the moment."

"Okay well then it's settled."

"Yep."

"I'm totally going with you." He declared as we started walking again.

Now I was surprised, "Wait what? Why?"

"There's no way Rose Weasley is going to brand her body in a stupid teenage mistake and I, Hugo Weasley, am not going to be present. I'm your brother, it is my duty to supervise your bullshit."

I eyed him wearyingly, "You are my younger brother," I corrected him, "And besides don't you have a date?"

"Nah, I'm rolling stag this time, besides I can always catch up with the guys after this glorious event."

"You're really excited aren't you?" I grimaced.

"Almost as excited as the time Lily found out James ruined her favorite blouse," Hugo grinned gleefully.

* * *

><p>And that is how Hugo and I ended up waiting in the Great Hall for us to be dismissed to go to Hogsmede. He wouldn't stop snickering at me and it was driving me crazy! Okay, this was a dumb idea, but I was sticking to it. I never did anything actively wild so what was the harm? And did he really have to be so arrogant about it? Regardless, we waited and I was happy when Kelly came in. She wore a steel colored strapless dress with some adorable little heels that gave her just enough of a boost to put her at five foot five. Once she saw what I was wearing her little face fell in confusion.<p>

"What are you wearing? I thought we were dressing up."

As I signaled for Ted to come over I gave her a smile. "Well, I lied."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not the one who's going with Hogsmede with you, Ted is."

Before he could make his way over from the Ravenclaw table. "Rose…I've never been on a date! What are you doing? I have homework to do! And this dress is all wrong-!"

I cut her off. "He wanted to do go with you, he just thought you would say no. Tomorrow is Saturday and you have more than enough time tomorrow to finish the one paper you haven't finish, and I know I'm right because I checked your immaculate planner. So please, just try it okay? If not fine, blame it on me, but please just give him a chance."

She looked like she was about to argue with me, but she stopped when Ted walked up. And then they did the cutest thing in the whole wide world, they blushed. Not the all-consuming blush that often took hold of my face, but this adorable infatuated glimmer. I pushed them both forward.

"You two have a good time!" I called as Hugo and I linked arms. "I'm going to regret this aren't I?"

Hugo shrugged, "Setting Kelly up on a date possibly, allowing me to come with you to get this tattoo, _always_."

We headed to this tattoo parlor next to the quill shop. It wasn't at all what I pictured when I pictured a tattoo parlor. It wasn't grungy and disgustingly dirty. Everything was clean, sterilized and ready.

"Now would be the time to pull out sis." He told me as he sat in the spare share with a copy of Witches Weekly.

"Nope," I breathed determinedly, "I'm doing this."

The tattoo artist nodded, he gestured to the chair, and his voice was very deep and quite unnerving. "You want it on your hip then?"

"Uh huh." I whispered and then I shouted, "Hugo!"

He stood in alarm and rushed over to me. "What?"

"Hold my hand you idiot!"

Laughing at my childish voice, he did as I demanded. "Fine, you big baby."

"I'm not a child! I just know it's going to hurt and-" I stopped talking as the man started working. I bit down my lip and clamped down on his hand. Ten minutes later I had a bandage on my hip and Hugo and I were leaving the shop.

"I'm so glad I'm not required to be there when you give birth, because you have the grip of a cobra; slowly squeezing the life out of your victim." Hugo whined as he rubbed his crimson hand.

"You wanted to come with me." I told him in a singsong voice. "Besides," I beamed, "I'm so excited! It's so cute!"

He shrugged, "I guess. You better come up for a good reason you have a bandage there."

"Easy, Quidditch."

"You can't even make it unique?" He complained as we walked through the falling snow to the Three Broomsticks, where he was supposedly meeting his friends. "Like once James

"I know James is your idol in everything stupid, but come on you know Quidditch is a phenomenal excuse. No one is even going to question this!"

"Yeah yeah yeah." He stopped at the door and then stooped to hug me. "You be careful walking back alright?"

I rolled my eyes up at him, "Okay. It's not like I'm stronger than you or anything."

"I was twelve, that wasn't a fair fight. Now I can hold you down with my pinky."

"Whatever." I pushed him playfully and started walking away.

My brother had to be the stupidest male ever. He was handsome for his age and I think it actually did him more harm then good. As I was about to head back to the castle, I paused and the smile I'd been wearing for the past two hours slid right off my face. There he was with some …fake ginger. I happen to know Ellie Colter is naturally a brunette, how dare she try and steal my natural hair color? That wasn't really what was offending me though wasn't her at all. It was Scorpius.

You think you're going to get over it. Like you can just wake up and feel nothing. You tell yourself if you stay away from that person long enough the feeling will go away. You try to simply will it away. You think that you have the power over the way you do everything including the way you feel. But you don't. And you never will. Seeing Scorpius with another girl hurt, more than I could explain, but what hurt more was that it was like what we had never happened. He wasn't loving towards her, I could tell he didn't even like her. He was just going through the motions, but why?

He'd hurt me so bad. I knew that. I processed that and accepted that we wouldn't work together. He would always be insecure with the fact that my family hated him and I would always worry that he didn't truly want to be with me. So why couldn't my heart get that?

My feet shifted in the soft layers of snow and I was about to move to leave when Lily snuck up behind me and put her small little arm around me.

"Well hello." I drawled.

"Hi."

Her voice became quiet as she saw what I'd been looking at. "I'm sorry you're hurting."

"Thanks," I breathed, using all my will power to look away from him and at her little face. "What are you doing? Aren't you on a date?"

"You're more important."

She dragged me into a hug and rubbed my back. I let out a choked laugh, "You're a loser."

"Well come on. Let's get you some hot chocolate."

I nodded and let her lead me into a nearby shop.

"You know I was jealous of you." She admitted bluntly.

"Me?" I breathed in shock. "Why?"

She chuckled as we slid into our seats. "You've always had it together, even when you don't you're so strong."

"_I'm really not_." I leaned on my hand feeling destroyed. "I just want to be so badly it looks like I'm keeping it together."

"He doesn't even like her you know."

"Two hot chocolate's please, with extra whipped cream." I told the waitress as she walked up with her legal pad. As soon as she shuffled away, I gave Lily a look. "What makes you say that?"

"Are you kidding me? It's quite pathetic really how obvious it is that he's into you."

"Why does everyone keep telling me that?" I exclaimed furiously, forcing an older couple two tables away from me to look startled and alarmed at my outburst.

"Can you lower your voice so you don't give the 80 year old's a heart attack? Also," She accented authoritatively flipping her perfectly straight hair out of her face. "it's really quite pathetic, because he used to be kind of hot."

I was glad my hot chocolate hadn't gotten to me yet, because I would have just about spit it all over her new olive pea coat. "What?"

"What did I say about lowering your voice? I don't why you're so surprised anyway. You know you fell for his bad boy, I don't care about anyone and anything edge…it was really enticing in this sea of hopeless boy wonders."

Snorting at her comment I shook my head. "No, actually, that is not why."

"Well," Lily sighed as the waitress handed us two mugs of steaming hot chocolate, "It doesn't matter anyway, because either way you've turned him into a one woman man and subsequently ruined him for any other woman."

"How do you even figure that?" I countered her before I took a sip, sending warm chocolately tingles down to my frozen toes. "You all seem to think I'm this missile that's sank his ship."

"Horrible metaphor, but it's true enough."

I shrugged, "I just don't know why you all think that I had this _huge_ effect on him. I swear in a few months, we will both be away at our respective careers and this will all be a faint memory."

She blinked at me as if she had never seen me. Her bright blue eyes were wide in shock. "Wow."

"What?" I grumbled as I took another sip of hot chocolate.

"So this is what you look like when you're defeated."

"Yep," I faked a grin, "_Isn't it lovely?_ …I'll be fine. I'm just reeling. I'll be great next week when we get to try on our dresses for Victoire's wedding-"

She reached forward and in an oddly warm gestured she gripped my hand. "You don't have to fake it for you know?"

"I'm not-"

"Yeah you are, but I'm just saying you don't have pretend for me."

I gave her hand a squeeze and went back to my drink. "I'm fine really. I can't wait to see what she sticks me in."

Seven days later, I found out. I'd spent the whole week talking to my cousin through a fireplace and now was the time to actually work out all the finer details like, which dresses we'd be wearing and the seating arrangements. Lily was in charge of judging all of our dresses and giving the final say, which was going to be amusing to say the least.

"Okay, I'll see you both on Monday," I told Lauren and Kelly, "Don't get into too much trouble without me!"

"I won't, but now that Kelly has a boyfriend who knows." Lauren quibbled quickly avoiding Kelly's glares.

I gave him a playful stern glance. "Behave you two." Then, with the permission of the headmaster, I flooed home.

Home, I thought as I walked into my living room with a duffle bag across my shoulder. The enticing smell of gingerbread cookies filled my nostrils. I laughed when I thought of all the times my mother had burned them I was little. It took her years to get it right. Now every time I came home she made me some just for me. It helped that Hugo hated them burnt or perfect, but I liked to think she would still make me more even if he didn't. Most of the time when I came back it felt like visiting my most beloved and cherished friend. This visit wasn't like that. It was warm, but it was still a bit forced. There was an element missing and I knew precisely what it was.

Climbing the stairs up to my room, I dropped my bag to the floor and fell on my bed. In a moment I would get happy to see my mother, but not right now. I needed a minute to prepare for it. I was happy with my life, I am. I have it really good, but I get depressed like everyone else. Now it just centers around one thing. Or more one person really. No one can ever say I don't obsess. Taking a deep breath, I focused only on my breathing. Once I was completely calm, I forced myself up and went downstairs.

"Hi mum," I smiled at her as she hugged me. "How are you?"

"I'm alright. They have been keeping me quite busy at work."

Then something sparked in my mind, the blanket on the couch hadn't been folded. "Is that why you've been sleeping on the couch?"

"No," Her face darkened. "Your father has."

"You two fighting?" I asked as I sat down at the table and bit into a cookie.

She smiled, "Nothing for you to worry about. He's just being his usual stubborn self."

"So _that's_ where I get it from." I mocked her softly.

"Honestly Rose I just can't get past how he acted towards you in the Headmaster's office. Sure Scorpius isn't my ideal choice for you, but…" She cut herself off as her lips started thinning in anger. "I'm just upset with him and some time on that couch will do him some good."

I frowned; I didn't want this to hurt their marriage. "Mum, honestly forgive dad. He's just being stupid."

"Are _you_ going to forgive him?"

"No," I sighed, "But that's different. He treated me poorly."

She leaned against the sink counter. "Exactly. You are my daughter, I'm not going to let anyone treat you that way."

I tried to lighten up the situation. "So I'm never leaving the house again?"

"Nope." She grinned down at me.

"Well that won't work. I have to be at Aunt Ginny's house in an hour."

"Well when you go, I want you to promise me you'll stay away from your cousin."

Now my lips thinned, "Which one?"

"You know what I'm talking about young lady." She gave me a scolding look. "Albus has been house arrest for the past two weeks. I don't want you going anywhere near him."

"Mum, he will be back at Hogwarts on Monday. I can hardly stay away from him forever."

"Well try." She sighed and sat down next to me so I could see the bags under her eyes. "You have enough on your plate right now."

I couldn't argue with that. So instead I just sat with her until it was time for me to go over my Aunt's.

* * *

><p>Aunt Ginny was ecstatic to see me. Like she legitimately look delighted that I was in her home. It creeped me out a bit, not gonna lie. I wanted an explanation, but as Uncle Harry was still at work I was afforded none.<p>

"Why do you have a bandage on your hip?"

"Quidditch," I answered flatly, "Where are the rest of the girls?"

"Waiting for you. I'll go grab my coat."

I shrugged unsurely, "….Okay."

After a few minutes of standing in the kitchen I wondered what could possibly be taking my Aunt so long. Where did she put her coat on the roof? And there shirtless in his pajama bottoms, shamelessly unshaven was my cousin. Now, I understood my Aunt's glee and her disappearance. She wanted me to patch things up with Albus. Like hell, I turned on my heel and moved the opposite way from him.

"Rose?"

"No."

He trailed after me as I headed to the fire. "Look can I just talk to you for just a second-?"

"No."

"Come on Rose-"

Then I lost it. All of the hate that had disappeared in the past two weeks reared its ugly head. It was like a hibernating bear that had been awoken a month early. I just wanted to come home and hang out with Victoire. Maybe help her make her fairytale wedding come true and restore my fledging faith in happy endings. And this piece of shit had the nerve to talk to me? ME? Hell no.

"YOU DON'T GET IT!" I screamed in frustration. "IT'S NOT ABOUT THE GUY! IT'S HOW YOU ACTED ABOUT THE GUY! IT'S MY LIFE! MINE! AND YOU HAD NO RIGHT-!"

"I know!" He rushed forward desperately, "I'm sorry. I just I have no idea what I want to do with my life and you do. And I just didn't want you to screw it up. Of course I took it entirely too far, but whenever I saw Malfoy with you, I'd panic. I thought you were going to let it all slip away."

"WHAT IF I DID? THAT'S MY CHOICE!"

Albus nodded, his bangs falling in his face. "I know and I'm sorry."

"Well that's great, but that changes nothing. You want me to forgive you? Why don't you start by apologizing to Malfoy?"

"Fine!" He gulped down his pride. "I will, the next time I see you two together-"

My jaw straightened. "Well that's not going to happen."

"You two aren't together?" He looked taken aback.

"No," I spat at him, "We aren't, but you still utterly fucked up his life and you had no right to do that. You get him to forgive you and I'll consider follow suit." I pushed past him. "AUNT GINNY I'M LEAVING WITHOUT YOU!"

Charging into the fireplace I flooed to the wedding shop. Victoire, Lily, Roxanne and James sitting on the big benches in front of a four way mirror. James grinned ear to ear when he saw me. Breaking the discussion they were having, he stood, ran over to me and picked me up in a whirling hug. Despite myself I laughed. James always knew how to get me going.

"Hello James."

"How's my favorite cousin?"

Hugging his torso I snickered," You really shouldn't say that while you are with all of your other cousins. They might get jealous."

"Nah!" He waved me off walking me over to the girls.

"What are you even doing here James?" I asked after I hugged Roxanne and Victoire.

James puffed his manly twenty-year-old chest out. "Someone has to make sure you all don't dress slutty."

"And who was supervising your tux fitting to make sure you don't do the same?" I fired back knowingly.

"Well, Rose it doesn't matter what I wear the ladies flock to me anyway." He boasted.

Roxanne snorted, scrunching up her long nose in disagreement. "Alright, alright James let's cool it on the ego.

Victoire intervened quickly with her usual sweet smile," Lily you help Roxanne pick out a dress, James you help Lily pick out a dress, I will help Rose and then we will all vote on my dress. Okay?"

"Deal captain!" I saluted her as she took my hand and lead me in the back. "So you said you want me to be in yellow right?"

She nodded. "It best compliments your hair. I'm thinking daisy yellow."

"Okay, so is it more important that we find a dress with the same color or the dress structure?"

"Dress structure, we can get these dresses in any color. What's your measurements?

"32B-24-32."

She made a face.

"Yes I know I'm flat." I told her as I grabbed a dress, "What about this?"

"That would look cute on you…but I was thinking more-"

"Vic, you can just say no. It's your wedding my feelings won't get hurt."

Her soft porcelain face turned to look sensitive. "I know."

"Which one do you think will look best?" I asked her wrapping an arm around her delicate shoulders.

"That one." She pointed to the sweetheart halter that floated down to just above my knobby knees.

I gave her shoulder a squeeze, moved around to grab it and went to try it on. She followed me into the changing room and sat Indian style on the carpet.

"So are you bringing anyone to the wedding?"

"Nope," I answered as I slipped the dress over my head. "I put that on my card right? I definitely was on the, _'no date,_' list.

Victoire tilted her head thoughtfully. "Yes I saw that."

"Oh good."

"I just thought you might bring Scorpius Malfoy."

It's like my family can sense when there's something I absolutely don't want to talk about and then they collectively go out of their way to discuss it. Seriously, who the hell had told Victoire about this? I let out a sigh and seriously considered pounding my head on the wall, but as I still hadn't fully gotten the dress on this wasn't practical.

"Roxanne," She answered my wordless question as she fixed her golden hair. "You know her and Lily write each other about everything."

"How is she doing? I didn't get to talk to her much with James over inflating his ego."

"Oh you know she skipped a grade again at Beaubatons? They're going to have to just send her to ministry pretty soon." Her smile grew as she eyed me knowingly. "But don't think talking about Roxanne is going to distract me from this topic."

I rolled my eyes. "Why don't we focus on you?"

"We _always _focus on me." She whined. "Come on, I love the forbidden romance element you two have. It's so _tortured and romantic_."

"It's over."

"_Why_?"

I stopped and starred at her. No one had ever asked me that. "What do you mean?"

"Why does it have to be over? He messed up, but he's human. If you love him why don't you just forgive him?"

This unsettled me. "It's not that simple."

"Of course it is." She rose to her feet gracefully, her long blonde hair bouncing behind her as she zipped up the side of my dress. "I think this is the dress."

"He's already dating someone else."

She turned me to face her. "That doesn't mean anything. Did the guy you dated after Aidan mean anything?"

"...No."

"Then bebe," she hugged me. "Neither did that girl. Maybe I'm just in wedding bliss, but I think you should give it another shot. You don't want to look back thirty years from now and think what could have been do you?"

I didn't answer. Several people had been lobbying for me to talk to him, but I'd ignored them all. Something about the honest sincerity in Victoire's eyes got to me. The Slythern and Hufflepuff game was Monday night. I wasn't planning to go, but now I was reconsidering it.

"Thanks for...you know, for picking me to be your maid of honor." I told her suddenly getting emotional, "It meant a lot."

"Of course," She put her little head on my shoulder, "I wouldn't want anyone else."


	21. Peace and Hate

Sunday night, I headed out to do rounds, but unlike the millions of other times I'd done it I was nervous. This time I couldn't switch it around so I could tour with someone else. Apparently this was the one weekend that everyone wanted to stay in, study and catch up on life. It was going to be just great. But I had a plan. I was going to be polite and cordial and it was going to fly by. Or it was going to go horrifyingly wrong like all of my interactions with him did.

There was that.

But I was going to be fine. So I went downstairs and waited for Malfoy. For about ten minutes, until I realized he wasn't coming. Asshole. So I grabbed my wand and went out by myself. The only people I ever caught were couples making out and all I had to do was threaten detention to get them to go back to bed. It was pretty easy, but I understood why we were supposed to have partners. Like if Malfoy got jumped I could stop them or tell the authorities who did it.

As I was about to turn the corner I heard footsteps and turned to find Malfoy behind me.

"You're late." I told him snottily.

"Sorry," He apologized quickly catching up to me. "I overslept."

I scowled, "Whatever let's get this over with."

"No, I'm serious. I'm sorry."

Did he just …apologize? I was literally stunned. I never in my life expected to hear those words escape his mouth. He himself looked surprised to have said it. His fair face was turned away from me, as he stood up straight and walked faster. What was I suppose to say to that? After everything that's happened, I'm sorry doesn't even cover it. He didn't know how much I cried over it. He didn't know how much I cried over him. And I didn't care for him to know.

But I couldn't hate him forever. Just looking at him I felt it beginning to fade. Maybe he hadn't meant what he said and he was starting to regret it. But that was a big maybe. Scorpius Malfoy, didn't elaborate such feelings to me. He just said he was sorry. So maybe I couldn't forgive him, but I could let it go. Spending the rest of the year angry would be exhausting and frankly it wasn't like I was going to be able to stay away from him. I was stuck with him and nothing I did would change that. So what was I to do?

"It's fine." I sighed braving to look him in the eye. "Let's just got on with it."

He was only a few inches away from me, but somehow even with the height difference it felt like nothing. "Okay."

We walked and the only thing I could hear was the sound of our shoes clicking on the wood floor. I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to understand why he did everything he did. But the longer the silence grew the harder it became to ask the questions I desperately needed to ask. My pride had gained too much ground in the past few months and I didn't know how to get away from it anymore.

I knew him well. I knew what had caused his reaction, but I needed to hear the words. And now seemed like the only time where he might honestly answer them. Gulping down my pride was like swallowing down a vile of ipecac, it wasn't going to stay down long.

"Where did you go?" I whispered.

"What?"

"After you saw the memories," I inhaled sharply, "Where did you go?"

Clearly he thought we had a strict non-disclosure rule on that whole time period. "My parent's house."

"Oh…I was just curious."

"I'm sorry," He whispered offhandedly not bothering to look at me. "I know it doesn't mean anything now."

"No." I shrugged, holding back my judgment. "It still means something."

He stopped walking and put his hands on my shoulders.

The warmth spread from the tips of his fingers down to heels of my toes. He was looking at me, in a way I'd never been looked at before. It was a mixture of hurt and longing and despite my earlier convictions I didn't push him away.

"Rose-"

"Well isn't this touching?" A disgustingly familiar voice spoke out from the shadows.

"Rick," Scorpius spat as he lowered his hands from me and scowled. "You have detention on Thursday."

"Since when?"

Scorpius eyes dilated, as his face grew cold. "Since now."

"Fine," He seemed utterly unbothered and his eyes focused on me. "I actually fancied a chat with Rose, but I'll talk to her later."

"Whatever you have to ask me you can ask me in front of him." I replied diplomatically. "What's the problem?"

His eyes savored me like I was a delicacy he hadn't tried before. I had the sudden urge to throw up all over him, but, sadly, I reframed. "Well I'm sure you and I can find time to discuss that later."

Then he slunk off down the hall to the hole he crawled out of. I cringed and wiggled in discomfort.

"Creepy ass son of bitch! UGHHH!"

Scorpius didn't laugh. "Has he been talking to you lately?"

"No. And I wish it would have stayed that way." I glared after Rick.

"You okay?" He asked me, his tone dropping into concern.

I nodded distractedly, "Yeah. I can handle him…Did you piss him off or something?"

"Why?"

"Because. He wasn't trying to get at me. He can do that anywhere." I turned and looked up at him. "_He was trying to get at you_."

The tension between us had changed considerably and I was slightly taken aback by it. Now it wouldn't be unnatural for him to put his arm around me or touch me. But he didn't. This time, he stopped himself and we began walking again.

I crossed my arms a chill went up my spine. "So are you going to answer my question?"

"What?"

"What did you do to him?"

His face went rigid. "He made some choice remarks the other day, and I reacted… poorly."

"What do you mean you, '_reacted poorly?_'" I mocked him openly.

"He said something and instead of ignoring him…I snapped."

I grabbed his arm and stopped him. "Wait what?"

"He was absent for a few days last week…" He scratched his neck, "I may have hexed him."

"This seems highly suspect. What could he have said to get under your skin?"

"It was nothing." Swiftly he changed the subject, "Are we alright?"

Biting my lip, I glanced and him and shrugged. "Yeah… I guess we are."

I couldn't believe it was this simple, but it was. All of my hate didn't vanish, but it faded into something else. Something not as strong or as consistent as hate, but much more satisfying, acceptance.

We didn't walk hand in hand. We didn't make any sweeping declarations of love, or passionately snog in the corner, but we weren't at war anymore. And as we flippantly talked about the odds of Slytherin winning the Quidditch cup, I felt lighter. We were going to be okay. Maybe we wouldn't be together, but at least I could still have him around. Even if he only was a friend. This was better. I needed a guy that would fight for me. So maybe this just means he isn't the guy for me. And that happens. But as we talked I couldn't help wishing he would prove me wrong. He didn't.

The next day I woke up, but didn't drag myself out of bed right away. It was my first day back with Rachel and Albus…Who's excited? Not me. I lowered myself out of bed when it occurred to me that I had nothing to worry about. Albus knew well enough to stay the hell away from me. And if I saw Rachel, I was no longer angry. She really had nothing else to do to me. She had no position of power anymore. So really the only thing she could do was say mean things about me and even if she did they wouldn't have any weight anymore anyway. I mean after I saved her from getting expelled what's the point? She had nothing to gain.

So, I was determined to get out of my slump. I was not going to be in a feud with anyone anymore. And even if they come banging on my door, I'm just going to push through it. Feeling my new tattoo I felt bolder and stronger. I could do this. I had this.

Lauren was most likely off somewhere with her boyfriend and Kelly was probably sitting in the library with that ridiculous smile she's had on her face since her last date. It was funny. She was so nervous before their first date she was practically shaking and on the second she kept second guessing what she should wear and what she should ask him. Now she was in the blissfully happy. Sure she still studied like crazy and made sure to schedule in time with Lauren and I, but she couldn't hide the fact that she used hearts instead of dots above her, 'I,'s.

I was surprised however to find Lily waiting downstairs for me. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm breakfast with you." It was a statement not a question.

Rolling my eyes, I hiked my bag over my shoulder. "Alright…I guess that's happening."

"Are you still mad?"

"No. Of course not... I just love that you don't ask me to go to breakfast, you just inform me as if it's already decided."

Her arrogance was back in place. "Well it is isn't it?"

Laughing at her, I linked arms with her. "Yes, I suppose it is."

Lily and I walked to the Great Hall and for once she didn't talk about her love life. She actually talked about this internship that she thinking about trying out for, which I couldn't be prouder about. Lily had never been one to think about a job. She always has been too busy worrying about what she was wearing and what boys were looking at her. I was happy that she was branching out.

"Well if you need any help with the essay, I can help you with it."

"With all of things you do you think you have time?" Lily scoffed cynically.

I nudged her. "I think I can squeeze that in. Now that Lauren and Kelly both have boyfriends I have a little more free time."

"He's Kelly's boyfriend now?"

I shrugged. "They're on their way."

"Are you happy Rose?"

"What?" I asked taken aback by the question.

She stopped me and asked again. "Are you happy?"

"Yeah."

"Well what do you think it is that makes a person happy?"

I felt like she was having a mid life crisis at the tender age of 15. "I don't know. I think if you can look at your life and say that it isn't bad then you should be happy with it. …Why?"

"I don't know…after all the stuff that's happened with you in the past few months I've been rethinking my own life."

"In what way?"

She paused, "Well when you were dating Aiden you seemed like you were trying to be happy, but not actually happy. And it didn't make sense to me. You had everything going for you so why weren't you happy? And then when you were with Malfoy, your life was trashed and yet I'd never seen you happier."

"So what are you getting at?"

"I'm thinking maybe I should start trying to get deeper goals. I mean I want to stay most popular girl, but…I'd also like to do something that means something to me. You know?"

Unlinking our arms, I pulled her into a hug and forced myself to reframe from mocking her. "I'm proud of you."

"Rose."

"Yes."

"You're messing up my make up."

Rolling my eyes, I released her. "So much for being deep."

"Well I can't just become another person overnight."

Laughing we moved into the Great Hall and sat next to each other. I only had two classes today. So the only thing I had to focus on today was making the flyers for the seventh year trip. Across the room I caught Scorpius's eye. That familiar feeling crept up on me, but I didn't fight it. I couldn't change the way I felt, but that didn't mean I had to act on it. So instead I gave him a nod, which he returned with a smile. He needed to stop that. Civil was fine. Civil worked. But being nice to me was different. Being nice made me hope for things. Things I had no right to want. As soon as I turned away though I saw Rachel walk in and instead of getting angry I had to fight off laughter. She had the biggest black eye I'd ever seen mixed in with shiny blonde hair and porcelain skin. Lily, being a Potter, stood up and started applauding.

"Well done!" She announced without a care in the world.

"Lily!" I laughed trying to pull her down. "You shouldn't support that."

"Oh please!" She pushed me away. "Quit acting like you don't approve. Besides I'm Lily Potter, what can she do to me? I run this school."

Lauren and Kelly jumped into the seats next to me with the most pompous looks on their faces. I tried not to ask why. I wanted to stay out of whatever chaos Lauren convinced Kelly to join her in, but my curiosity couldn't be helped.

"Okay I can't hold back any longer! Why are you two are grinning like idiots?"

Lauren shrugged, "No reason."

Looking over at Rachel, I felt an excitement build up in me. "Does it have anything to do with Rachel?"

Kelly blew on her little fist with an arrogance I'd never seen on her tiny face.

"No!" I gasped in shock.

Lauren couldn't look prouder; "Kelly walked up to me and told me to throw her at Rachel. And of course I did. I thought she was just going to run into her," She lowered her voice, "But instead she lunged forward and clocked her in the face! Professor Lipnick came out and looked at Kelly's innocent little face she told them to get to class."

"Seriously?" I beamed, "No way!"

"Way!" Kelly squealed.

"I _LOVE_ YOU!" I hugged Kelly happily.

"Well, she had it coming. Where justice fails." She got this wistful look on her face. "I don't."

"I can't believe you did that!"

Suddenly guilt settled on her features and she asked me in the smallest little voice, "Do you think I'll get in trouble?"

"No!" I laughed.

"Are you sure?" Anxiety built on her face. "What if they put it on my record? Oh Merlin-"

I grabbed her face and forced her to look at me. "Kell. I assure you. If you didn't get in trouble then you won't get in trouble now. Rachel was almost expelled no one will believe a word she has to say."

"Good."

For the rest of breakfast I sat half stunned half admiringly with Lauren and Kelly. It was by far the best breakfast I'd ever had. Later on I sat in the middle of my common room, with a bunch of papers on the floor.

I just finished my last class of the day and I had three hours till dinner for the wedding. Instead of studying for my potions exam I decided to knock out the sitting chart. The problem was I had no idea where to put Aunt Edna. She was this batty second cousin who always sent me strange smelling hand me downs for my birthday. Aunt Edna tended to creep people out, but we couldn't snub her and not invite her at all. The problem was who was I going to stick her with?

So I sat there, with my hair-pilled on top of my head, in my shabbiest sweats in a conundrum. Sucking on a sugar quill I tried to see the solution I was missing. I heard the door open and I let out a sigh of relief. I wrote Lily begging her to help me.

"About time! I need your help, I have no idea where-" I stopped speaking once I looked up and realized it wasn't Lily. "Oh." I breathed dumbly as I looked up at Scorpius's impassive face.

"What is that?" He pointed at the spray of parchment.

"My cousins wedding." I explained blankly, nervous as his proximity. How had he gone from hating me to being calm and collected?

Scorpius moved around the couch and squatted down next to me without a thought of hesitance. "So what's the problem?"

"Um uh…" I stammered unnerved by his swift mood change, "I can't figure out who to put my Aunt Edna next to…. she's really weird."

"Why don't you put her next to Potter?"

I laughed awkwardly knowing exactly which Potter he was referring to. "He's a groomsmen he has to be at the head table."

"Too easy of a solution." He grinned.

"I know. I just don't know where to put her. If I weren't Maid of Honor, I would take the bullet, but I can't."

Straightening up he moved towards his staircase. "Good luck."

"Thanks."

My stomach tingled at our words. It wasn't a serious conversation, but just being near him, talking with him made me happy. And right now that was enough. So I whistled to myself as I finished the wedding seating and all my homework. It took forever, but I didn't mind. Today, the stress didn't get to me like it usually did.

A few hours later I left my stuff in my room and walked to dinner. I finished a large bulk of my homework and I just had to work on Headgirl stuff. I would worry about it all later. Since I was probably going to skip the game I would have time to get everything done in the lovely solitude of my room. All the rest of the team was going to the game, so later I would grab all of them and shove their memories into a pensive and show the winning teams weaknesses' play by play. That way I can have more time and not have to deal with anyone else all at the same time. When I reached the Gryffindor table I sat next to Hugo.

"So have you-" I started with a barely concealable grin.

"Seen Rachel's face," Hugo finished with an identical smirk. "Yes I have….I can believe Kelly did that. I thought she was a pacifist."

I beamed. "I know…damn."

"You seem to be in a good mood. Are you coming to the game tonight?"

Shaking my head I slid some food on my plate. "Too much stuff to do. But I want all of you to watch the game like hawks. Don't go get food. Don't go to the bathroom. In fact use the loo before you go."

"Why aren't you going then? An extra pair of eyes will be good and then you can keep us all in line."

Smiling at him, I shook my head. "I would love to, but I seriously can't. I don't even have time for a break."

"I know you love Victoire and it's a honor to be asked and all that. But I think you took on too much."

"I couldn't turn her down. Besides I won't have nearly as much Head Girl duties as soon as the 7th year trip is over."

"When is that?" He asked before he sipped his drink.

"Two weeks from Friday."

He nodded absentminedly. "Well I better go gather the troups and get ready for the game. Are you sure you can't come?"

"Yes I am. But thanks." I told him as he bent down and scooped me in a hug.

"See ya sis."

I was almost finished with my plate. In my head I was already planning which things I would get done first. While I was planning I didn't notice the whispering around the hall get louder. I just was zoned out, wondering how long my Transfiguration paper would take. That stopped when someone slid into the seat next to me.

Albus sat right fucking next to me. There were three open seats and he had the audacity, the nerve to sit right next to me. Sighing, I could feel the whole hall buzzing, poised for the verbosity of my response. I had none.

I was at the point where I honestly didn't care. I'm just trying to graduate. Of course I'm still going to all the Head meetings, doing all my homework and running the Quidditch team but other than that, I just don't care. I'm not involving myself in anything that I don't have to. Everyone else can have his or her Hogwarts sponsored drama, but I just don't care anymore. So I literally didn't even acknowledge his presence and it was everything I thought it could be. He kept waiting for me to respond to him, and that moment never came. Instead I just ignored his annoying persistent stare, finished my food and went back to my room.

It was so new and freeing to not be so angry. Is this what actual pacifists feel like? So warm and relaxed. I snuggled with myself as I finished everything I had to do. And I mean everything. I even had the time to fill in my planner for the rest of the week. That's the kind of happiness money can't buy. At one o'clock I fell into a deep meaningful sleep. It was great.

The next day I felt like I was walking on air, was this what it was like to not care? It was beautiful. I went to all my classes in a happy fog. Then when I was done I walked to the back of the library and just read. It was wonderful. I haven't read in ages. It was so nice. When I was done I met up with Lauren for dinner.

"What's new?" I asked her.

"Nothing that I know of, but I do know that Kelly is on a roll this week."

I blinked in surprised. "She didn't hit someone else did she? I'm going to have to give her detention if she does it again you know."

"No," She grinned, "She didn't. I meant with her life. She got the job."

My jaw dropped. "NO WAY! SHE DID?"

"It's an internship, but she definitely on her way."

"This calls for a celebration!" I reveled excitedly. "Oh Merlin….What about you?"

Lauren shrugged, "I won't hear till Graduation."

"Don't worry." I clapped her on the shoulder supportively. "You'll get there."

Leaving, I walked back towards the library, fully intending to finish my reading when Scorpius walked into the empty corridor I was in. I opened my mouth to say a pleasant hello, when he stopped me with a look. For the past two days, I've been trying to just be his friend. We had been cordial enough and I didn't want that to fade into hatred. Did I want him? Yes of course i did. Even in my blissful mood, I still ached to be with him. But I had been trying to make peace with this. Now, it was clear, our calm alliance was over.

"What?"

"What's it like?" He spat, his eyes filled with pure agony.

I was taken aback. Where the hell did this come from? "What's what like?"

"DON'T ACT LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! YOU ARE UNBELIEVABLE!"

Bewildered I looked around trying to see if there was someone around me to explain why I was being yelled at. There was no one. "Scorpius….Why are you yelling at me?"

"Have you heard a single word I've said?"

"Yes," I made a face. "Kind of hard not too…_what with the yelling_, but I'm confused as to why you are yelling."

"It must be nice," He snapped hatefully.

"What are you talking about?" I questioned not understanding his harsh tone it all.

"To not care about anyone else. It must be nice. Convenient."

Taking a literal step back, I stared at him baffled. "What is your problem?"

"You are fucking ridiculous!" He was about to storm off but then he doubled back seeming unable

"Okay," I frowned. "If you would fill me in me in on the topic here…"

"You hate me for two weeks. _Two weeks._ Your cousin comes back after he tried to total your entire life and you just forgive him?" He raged.

Blinking, I gaped at him. "You think I forgave him?"

"You didn't do anything when he sat next to you!"

"What was I supposed to do?" I breathed throwing my hands in anger. "I'm tired! Everyone takes turns starting shit with me and you know what? I'm not giving him the satisfaction of getting me angry."

"So you just don't care about _anything_ anymore then?" He questioned me crossing his arms.

"What are you really mad at me about? I honestly have no idea what you are so angry about. I've done nothing wrong."

"You would think that."

My mouth gaped open and I was about to say something, when he abruptly turned on his heel and left.


	22. Back to Me

In the two weeks leading up to the 7th year trip things got…. weird. Albus sat next to me every day during dinner, and I never said anything. He was trying to break me and I wasn't going to give in to it. I had too many things going on in my life. I didn't need to deal with him. With Scorpius I was having the exact opposite problem. Every time he saw me he either avoided me or make snide remarks under his breath making the tension between us grow to an all time high. After a particularly awkward Head meeting with all the 7th year prefects, I fell onto Lauren's bed.

"Okay." I started letting out a sigh, "Is there something I'm missing?"

"You mean besides your birthday party?"

I rolled my eyes, "Naturally."

"Not that I know of," Lauren's eyes lifted from her magazine. "Why?"

"Scorpius literally keeps trying to start a fight with me and I keep thinking he'll stop and we can go back to being civil…and just won't happen."

She twirled her silky blonde hair out of her face. "Why don't you just ask him what his problem is?"

"I did, remember? All he did was yell at me." I breathed into her soft comforter. "I just want to make it to the trip. I just want to get through the next two days. I don't want to fight with him. I refuse to fight with him."

"Merlin…Even when you're not together you're together." Lauren scoffed.

"What?"

"You have relationship problems." She told me knowingly, "It's obvious what your problems are."

Rising I threw a pillow at her. "Oh? And what would that be?"

"Well if you grew a pair and talked to him you would find out."

"I just don't want anymore problems with him!" I whined immaturely. "Can't we just co exist and stop this no stop drama fest!"

"Rose, despite your best efforts you are the most popular girl in our grade. There's no way that's going to happen anytime soon."

"You know," I started icily, "You're just a wonderful help."

She flashed me a smile. "I'm just being honest. If you don't deal with this it's going to blow up in your face….I'm actually surprised it hasn't done so already."

"Well I'm not letting it happen."

"You can't control everything Rose." Lauren muttered softly.

Yawning I shot her a dirty look. "Yes, I'm aware of that. But that won't stop me from trying."

"Well I have to give you credit for trying I suppose."

"I better go pack for tomorrow." I told her pushing myself up onto my feet. "And you should too."

She waved me off from her desk chair, "Yeah yeah yeah. I will after I finish this."

Walking back to my dorm, I felt exhausted. Tomorrow I would be in charge of 22 seventeen year olds in the middle of the forest trying to learn how to exist without adult supervision. Only one teacher would be supervising and I'm pretty sure Mr. Lerner, the Astronomy teacher, would be too busy starring up at the sky. I'd finished all the wedding plans with Victoire. I've completed all my homework for the rest of the week. I've even managed to get all of our Quidditch practices together so that we only have two left before the final two matches. My stress was off the charts even with everything all together and neat. I just wanted everything to just go as planned for once.

Of course it wouldn't. But one could hope right?

When I got back to my room I packed as I told Lauren I would and then I glowered at the stacks of unanswered letters on my dresser. I spoke to Victoire a week ago. I hung out with Hugo and Lily yesterday. And I talked to my mother an hour ago. But I haven't spoken to my father or Albus in weeks. My father has written but I have nothing to say to him. He didn't care if I was all right a month ago. He just cared what it meant to him. I think my mother has been really driving the point home with him. And I appreciate her doing that, but at the same time it doesn't make it suddenly sincere. As far as I was concerned my father and cousin were on the same shit list.

Putting my bag by the door I fell back on my bed and looked at my ceiling. Lauren was right. I did need to talk to him. But I couldn't. I've tucked back my feelings so tightly, I don't want to lose it now. I'm two months away from graduation. Just two months. Then I will get an apartment with my savings and start working, away from all of this.

For some reason I thought back to two months ago, it was Valentine's Day and despite the fact that Scorpius and I had a huge fight he gave me this gorgeous heart shaped necklace with my initials on it. Distantly I wondered what happened to it. Rachel must have taken it, because otherwise it would have been turned in. Who would want a necklace with someone else's initials on it?

I could do this. I could spend two days with him. We can and will work together. He will not ruin this. Two more months. Two more months. I can do this. We don't even have to talk that much. We have our own tents and both days will be spent walking through a forest talking about our futures and doing team-building exercises. There won't be enough time for us to fight…. Right?

Pulling the covers, up to my face, I cuddled into my pillow. This was going to be fine. I've planned every detail of this down to the last moment of the trip. I was going to be fine. I fell into a deep sleep and woke up nine hours later extremely groggy.

We had to be in the great hall by 7 Am. Tossing my bag over my shoulder, I pushed my sunglasses onto the bridge of my nose and trucked on to the Great Hall.

My mom and Uncle Harry took Hugo, James and I camping when we were little this would be an easy vacation if I didn't have to be in charge of 22 horny teenagers. Lauren was sitting on her boyfriend's lap half asleep. Kelly was talking to Professor Lerner while her new boyfriend waited for her patiently. Yawning, I grabbed a chair, swung it around and straddled it. It was fifty degrees out and it stopped snowing about a week earlier. Fairly good weather for camping. I wore a pair of jeans and for the hell of it a blue plaid shirt over a blue long sleeved shirt. Scorpius was already down here. He was standing, talking to some Slytherin guys in the corner. Sometimes I forget he must have friends.

"Are you ready Ms. Weasley?" Little Professor Lerner asked me walking up to me.

I raised my coffee mug to him. "All good to go."

"Well then, I suggest you gather the troops together. We have to leave in five minutes."

I nodded and climbed off the chair. "EVERYBODY! GATHER TOGETHER." I yelled slinging my bag back over my shoulder. Everyone quieted down and formed a semi-circle around me. "Okay all of you separate into your groups and follow Malfoy and I out to the apparation line in five minutes. So please, for the love of Merlin make sure you have all of your stuff before we leave, because we are not coming back. So get your stuff together."

Everyone sectioned off into groups as instructed and only Elizabeth Pennyworth forgot her eyeliner, which I assured her she would not need in the wilderness. Malfoy came and stood next to me as he was supposed to, with this stone face. He wouldn't look at me. Fine, just stay civil Malfoy. Just stay civil.

"Alright, let's go!" I announced as Malfoy and walked out onto the grounds.

* * *

><p>The day went pretty well. We got to the Forrest of Dean easily and without any real problems. Everyone set up their tents with very few problems and all the trust falls and human pyramids went well. At night we all sat around the campfire with the wizarding radio going off in the background. Aiden walked over and sat next to me.<p>

"How's it going?"

I gave him a tired smile. "Fine, just long long day. How are your ho-antics going?"

"Wonderful. I actually like just dating around instead of being in a strict relationship." He sighed happily.

Laughing under my breath, I shook my head as the heat of the fire warmed my face. "You're a loser."

"Maybe, but I want to thank you. You've never been mean to me, despite the fact that I haven't always acted …appropriately."

I gave him a look. "Like the time you walked in on me changing and didn't immediately leave."

"Yes, just like that."

"Well we're all good. Now why don't you go talk to Ella Perkin's over there?" I gestured to the slightly promiscuous blonde at the other side of the fire. "She looks like she could use some company."

He grinned at me, and kissed my forehead. "See you later Rose."

"See you Aiden."

As he walked away people started dancing to the music. I saw Lauren and Grant, easily the tallest couple in the group swaying to the beat. Kelly and her new beau didn't get up because they were too enamored in their conversation. I was so glad Lauren and I conjured their union. They were so cute, geeky and dark haired together. I leaned back on the woodened log I was sitting on and let out a sigh. Everyone was right where they were supposed to be. Professor Lerner shuffled over to me looking purely exhausted.

"Ms. Weasley, we have a problem."

Alerted I glanced up at the cane wheedling man. "What is it sir?"

"One of the tent's is missing."

"That's not possible. I packed them myself." My eyes widened in panic. "What are we going to do? All of the tents are magically sealed so only people of the same sex can sleep in it!"

"Not all of the tents. As Headboy Mr. Malfoy's tent isn't bewitched so he can be alerted if there is a problem."

Scowling, I glared at the fire. "So…does that mean I have to share a tent with Malfoy?"

"I'm afraid so, but you two well get along swimming I'm sure. And if you have any problem's just let me know."

Yes because if a two hundred pound, six foot two inches, eighteen-year-old male was really a problem for my hundred and twenty pound, five foot seven inches seventeen year old form I would go to a seventy year old crippled man. Yeah that would happen.

"Thanks Professor Lerner."

"I'm heading to bed. I'll see you in morning."

"Have you told Malfoy?"

"Oh no." He chuckled to himself. "I thought it would come much better from you."

Grimacing, I wanted to slap him. "Well that was so considerate of you."

"I thought so!" He then waddled away.

Scorpius was sitting over by his Slytherin friends. And I was supposed to walk over there and tell him we were sharing a tent? Kill me. Kill me now.

I had to tell him now otherwise I would be sleeping outside with the bears and deer…A deer could knock me out so the bear could eat me… Shaking my head, I tried to force that unlikely, but fairly possible image out of my head.

Scorpius didn't look up from his conversation, forcing me to interrupt him. "Malfoy I need to talk to you real quick."

His eyes snapped onto me. "Why?"

I scowled. "Just a second, alright? Then you can go back to talking about whatever."

"Fine."

Shoving my hands in my pockets I felt awkward as I walked away from the people and closer to the tents. Why did he have to make this so hard on me? I wasn't asking for a kidney. All I wanted was for us to get along. Why can't he just get it together and get with the program? Was it really that hard to pretend to be nice to me?

"We have a problem."

"Oh?"

My lips thinned. "One of the tents are missing so…we have to share a tent."

"You can't just sleep outside?"

My jaw dropped in fury. "What?"

"Can't you just sleep outside?" He asked crossing his arms. "Or why don't you bunk with someone else?"

"There's isn't any room."

He raised his chin into the air arrogantly. "So I have to share with you?"

"Is it really that hard of a concept?" I snapped throwing my hands up. "I mean I know you hate me, but you want me to sleep outside so raccoons can pee on my face? Is that how deep your hate goes? REALLY?"

He said nothing.

I stormed away towards my luggage. I might as well set up camp now!

"So typical of you to walk away!" Scorpius barked at me.

Spinning around, I was shocked to find him following me. "Scorpius this is ridiculous! We were doing so well! We were getting along! What did I do?"

"I-"

"NO!" I roared, "I want a reason!"

He looked dismayed. "Never mind." Scorpius looked away from me, "You can sleep in the tent."

And before I could say anything else to him he left.

It wasn't for another two hours until I had to do a round and make sure everyone went to sleep. A few guys thought they would be clever and sneak into the woods with some girls. They called me some wonderfully choice words when I stopped them. I apologized for decreasing of the teen pregnancy rate, but they didn't seem to like that response. The hardest part was knowing that I would have to go into that tent. As soon as I got to the tent though, I decided to not sleep inside. I had a sleeping bag and I could put a protection charm around me. So after starring at the tent for ten minutes I decided, fuck it and fuck him. I don't need his damn tent. And I don't need him.

I pulled out my sleeping bag and stubbornly did as I planned. I got a rotten night of sleep, but fuck it I still had my pride. I was slightly petrified that my magic wouldn't work and that ravage forest animals would come and get me. So instead of sleeping I just stayed awake, in my sleeping back, panicking. Everything around me was dark and there were bugs making noises everywhere. Two hours in I probably looked like a crack addict, hair messed up, semi-conscious, twitching. I would have spent the whole night like that if Scorpius hadn't wandered out of his tent, shirtless.

"What …are-you-doing?"

"Trying to sleep." I whined horribly. "What do you want?"

"Rose…" He was so unguarded and confused. He must have just woken up. "What the hell?"

"What?"

He squinted and looked around, "Why are you out here?"

"Because you wanted your fucking tent," I shot up at him hatefully, snuggling into my sleeping bag. "So, _you_, can have it."

Scorpius then wiped his face exhaustedly. "Take off the protection charm."

"What?" I yelled, "No! The bears will eat me alive! I may be scrawny, but bears love me!"

"Just do it."

Scowling, I turned over, grabbed my wand and took it off. "Now what?"

He lowered long muscular arms down to the sleeping bag and picked me everything up and carried me into the tent.

"What are you doing?"

"Look," He put my sleep bag next to his. "Just go to sleep."

I rose. "I have to get my stuff."

"I've got it." He waved me off, snatched my bag and dropped it by my feet.

"Thank you." I groaned in relief as I snuggled in the warmth of the safe tent. My eyes hurt so bad from staying awake for so long.

He shut the door flap and got back into his sleeping back. "You okay."

I shivered and nodded.

"Are you cold?"

I nodded.

Wordlessly, he snatched the edge of my sleeping bag and dragged it towards him. I thought he was going to put a warming charm on me. Instead he pulled me over and wrapped his arms around me. I was so taken aback. His eyes were closed and within the minute he fell back into a sound sleep. I thought I was dreaming I legitimately thought this was a dream, but it wasn't. I couldn't imagine the feeling of his jaw resting on my forehead or his lips on my hair. The scent of his deodorant mixed with his cologne and natural aroma calmed my mind and I fell asleep in the crook of his arm.

I woke up to this blinding light I'd discovered was the sun. I blinked and saw that if I had indeed slept with Scorpius he was gone now. Shutting out the light I shut the drape and changed into new clothes. While I brushed my teeth and fixed my hair I was in a haze. Did I actually sleep with him? Or was it just a dream? I knew the first part was real, him dragging me into the tent. But I might have fallen asleep after that. I was really tired and that would be a really great dream.

Today all 7th years were going to do some more team building exercises. How was I supposed to concentrate on that? Even if this was a dream how could I stand near him with this idea in my head? It was so nice. I'm so in love with him. Why could I just dream about becoming friends with a bear? At least that would have positive connections.

But. I powered through the rest of the day. Lauren and I spent most of the day hanging out together, while everyone else was involved in a muggle contest we sat on the sidelines and laughed. It was the last event of the evening and the sun was just about to go down. We would all be heading early as it had been a 12-hour day filled with a lot of mindless activities.

"So which contest is this?" Lauren squinted.

I looked down at my sheet. "Who can make a shelter the fastest….I hate to say it, but the Slytherin boys are getting their shit together."

"It's because Scorpius is in charge." Lauren admired with an odd look of appreciation. "I will give him this. He may be an ass, but he could run an army if he needed to."

I scowled, "Yeah."

"What?"

"I had to sleep in his tent last night." I sighed leaning farther back.

Her thin eyebrows rose as she stretched her long, thin body across the grass. "Oh? And why is that?"

"Apparently one went missing and his was the only one that allowed both sexes inside it."

"And?"

"And what?" I frowned daring her to start with me.

"Did anything happen?"

I pushed my glasses farther back on my face to block out the sharp sunlight. "He pissed me off so I slept outside, and then in the middle of the night he dragged me into the tent."

"Nothing else happen?"

"No," I lied, blushing deeply.

Lauren knew better, "It's not nearly sunny enough for you to be sunburned."

"You never know. I'm a natural redhead."

"Fine, lie." She shook her head. "This is by far the stupidest 7th year trip I've ever seen. What were the other options?"

"School dance, trip to somewhere legitimate…Nothing really that extravagant. I think everyone was just sick of school dances to be honest."

Lauren shrugged fixing her flawlessly settled hair. "I see why. They keep adding new rules. Next time they will require people to be five inches away from each other."

"Hey guys!" Kelly greeted us excitedly a half hour later, her knees and hands were all muddy like a little kid, but she didn't seem to care.

"Who won?" I asked getting out my scorecard clipboard.

"Scorpius's team." Kelly answered sitting down on the other side of me.

I nodded and then was slightly unnerved. "When did you two start calling him Scorpius?"

"Right about the time we realized he's not going away." Lauren answered offhandedly as I crossed off a tally.

"What do you mean?" I questioned her confusedly.

"Come on Rose," Lauren gave me a look as the darkness of the night settled on our faces.

I pushed my sunglasses aside as they were now useless. "What?"

"We all know you guys are still into each other."

That hit a nerve. "Why can't I just away from this? I'm trying so hard." I told Kelly as put my head into my hands.

"You honey," She said with the sweetest most sincere voice as she squatted down to hold me. "Everyone has that person that no matter how much damage you do to one another you just keep going back to them."

"WHY THOUGH?" I shook my head. "It can't ever work. So why can't either of us just give up?"

Lauren let out a long laugh. "Because you are both stubborn people."

"So supportive." I smacked her.

"It's what I do." She smiled pulling me into a side hug. "Just go fucking talk to him."

I released her and sighed. "How do you expect me to do that?"

"Just corner him! It's really not that hard. You corner him and you make him talk to you. Hold him down if you have to. But for Merlin sake's just talk to him! You two are clearly supposed to be together, unfortunately…"

Snorting, I pushed her. "You are such an ass."

"It's an hour until we all have to turn in. Get off your ass and go get your man." Lauren ordered me.

"Okay…."

* * *

><p>For a few minutes I sat there as everyone slowly started to disappear into their tents. Lauren and Kelly left me to go back to their respective tents. I let out a breath and got a determined look on my face and charged forward into the night. His back was turned to me when I came into the tent so I made a noise so he would know I was here.<p>

He turned saw me and turned back, "I'm going. I'm going. I know I have to do rounds."

"You and I are going to have a conversation." I stated firmly blocking the doorway.

"Oh my god! I'm not even two minutes late!" He turned in annoyance.

I scowled. "Firstly, I'm not here to yell at you about that. Secondly I'm not nagging. You are always early to everything that doesn't concern me, but then it's something else and there you are earlier than everyone else." I shook my head, "That's not what I wanted to talk to you about!"

"Then what is it?"

"Scorpius," Focusing on him seriously. "You chose to walk away. You need to stop jerking me around. Either we are nothing or we are something. You can't have it both ways."

A shadow passed over his face. "It's too late. I know that. And I've tried to stop…but I can't."

"YOU ARE SUCH AN ASSHOLE! WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING? INSTEAD YOU PICK A FIGHT?" I let out a scream of frustration.

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Oh. I'm sorry were you busy hanging out with your ex boyfriend and your cousin and everyone who's ever been mean to you and never forgiving me."

"I forgave you awhile ago." I told him slowly. "And I haven't forgiven my cousin. I'm just sick of yelling at him. Nothing I do or say get's through to him so I've given up on him."

"What about your ex?"

"I don't see how that's your problem. For the record we are just friends, but even if I made the huge mistake and did go back with him why would you care?"

His face twitched.

I took a step towards him. "Are you going to just admit you care or are we going to do the dance for the rest of the year? Quite frankly I'm exhausted. So I'd rather just pick a team and stay on it. Either you hate me and nothing I can do be right, you're indifferent to me and we can be civil…or."

"Or what?" He asked me taking a step forward.

"I don't know…" My bravery left me as I starred at him. I was losing steam fast.

Crossing my arms I felt horribly vulnerable. This was the moment when I needed to step up and just say how I felt. To say how much he meant to me. To just lay it all on the line and let the chips fall where they may. But standing there, in front of this guy, man really, that I've known for years that knows more about me then I know about myself, I hesitated. Could I really put it all on the line? I don't think I could take that kind of rejection. Not again.

"Say something." I whispered.

He didn't.

"Fine." I threw my hands up. "_Fucking coward."_

That sparked it. He rushed forward and stopped me looking enraged. "I was scared! OKAY?"

"Well! NEWSFLASH! SO was I! But I stuck through it! I didn't go on dates or treat you like you were scum!"

"Oh well I'm sorry that I'm not as controlled as you!" He yelled pacing in front of me. "I couldn't process what I felt properly without the memories behind them! I just thought I was getting lonely and fishing around for someone. And then yes I stuck to that decision for longer than I should have, but the minute I thought about asking you back, you were off having the time of your life!"

"What?" I scoffed dismissively. "What the hell are you talking about?"

He let out this huge huff of frustration. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME? You walk around like nothing ever happened! Like you are having a great time and you don't even notice that I'm gone."

"WHAT PLANET ARE YOU ON? I've been miserable for weeks! Just because I don't put it on display for the whole world to see doesn't mean I just moved on!"

"Well it didn't seem that way."

"You are ridiculous!"

"No! I'm being honest!" He replied quickly, "Why don't you try it?"

"You want honestly? Really? DO YOU?" My voice elevated as my self-control went right out the window. "I was in love with you! And even though I didn't, 'Understand,' it I still was willing to go with it, because I'm not an idiot and I wouldn't be interested in someone that has no value. Clearly I was wrong, because you-"

"I HAVE VALUE!" He interjected fiercely, walking forward and hooking his arm around my waist. "And you were wrong I want you too! _Do you_…" His eyes became clear as the agony in them became clear. "_Have any idea how hard it's been to pretend?"_ He was so close to me I could see the air leaving his perfect mouth. My heart was on fire as every goose bump erupted. I shuttered in his arms. " Do you have feel that? Do you think I can ignore that? I can't ignore it anymore! I can't! I…I love you…. _I mean it_."

"Are…are you sure?" I asked my eyes brimming with tears. "Because you don't have to say it because I said. You really _really_ don't. I know… I know you feel obligated-"

"No. I don't," He told me flatly, his voice was unwavering as was his glance. "When it comes to you I don't have to say or do anything. But I want to. _I …love …you_."

"Stop saying that!" I cried, breaking away from him. I couldn't take it. "We can't do this. You will never be happy with the fact that my family can't stand you. And I'm sorry for that, but what should we do? When it comes to me my family matters! You can't promise you will always have the energy to fight them."

"Yes," Scorpius murmured passionately, taking a step towards me and raising my chin with his hand. "_I can and I will._ I will fight anyone and anything that gets in the way of me being with you."

My heart expanded and my eyes watered. "Scorpius..."

"I love you." He repeated his face completely and entirely serious. "I'm not taking it back, and I'm not letting you go again."

"I love you too…" I half-sobbed. "But you can't…"

He grinned and cupped my face. "Yes…I can and I do. I know this is stupid, I know it's ridiculous. But I also know that I can live without you, but I don't want to. I don't have it in me to stand here and act like you don't matter to me. I can't do that anymore. This means too much."

"So what _does_ this mean?" I asked breathlessly. "What are we? What is this?"

"This means." He started firmly, pulling me tightly into his body. "You're my girlfriend and you will not date anyone else, you will kiss anyone else, if I could have it my way you wouldn't be able to look at anyone. _You're mine_."

I glared at him. "I'm not your property!"

"Yes you are. And I am yours."

Unable to be fully mad, I conceded, "Fine. Deal, but I want a clause on this contract that you can't flirt with other girls or wear a shirt when we are alone together."

"Ditto." He countered.

I smacked his arm. "You're an idiot."

"Fair is fair."

"I guess."

I was so happy, I impulsively threw my arms around his neck and threw myself at him. He laughed as he picked me up into his arms. "You know I'm glad you didn't _just _come to yell at me about rounds."

Snorting, I squeezed my arms around him, "_You do_ have to go soon."

"Not yet." He loosened his hold on me and then without a moment's hesitation he pressed his lips to mine.

Everything that seemed important minutes, hours, days, months, even years ago faded into the background as I got a kick of adrenaline. Suddenly all I could think about was how many clothes were separating me from him. As his tongue danced with mine, his hands gripped the back of my shirt impatiently. I knew exactly what he wanted and I knew exactly what I wanted. The problem was this wasn't the time to do. The biggest problem wasn't stopping him. The biggest problem was stopping myself. It felt so good. It was like being trapped in the desert for year yearning for water and then finding civilization with a huge water fountain out front. I couldn't get enough; I didn't want to ever get away from him. Suddenly he broke, the kiss and stood away from me with a dazed expression.

"I have to go." He announced to no one in particular.

I let out a belated laugh. "Okay."

"I need a minute." He gestured to himself and I couldn't control my laughter.

"My bad."

"You should never feel sorry for that." He snorted looking away from me with an unashamed blush.

I snickered. "Good, because that wasn't a sincere apology."

"I better go make sure everyone went to bed." He gave me one last lustful look, before shaking his head and grabbing his wand out of his bag. "I'll be back."

"Okay."

He was about to just leave, but he doubled back and planted me with a heated kiss. "That will be coming for you."

"I'm perfectly okay with that."

* * *

><p>He left the tent and was in a state of delirium. This had to be one long dream. This was too good to be true. As if someone personally heard me think that, I heard raised voices outside. Grabbing my wand, I sighed and went outside to settle the dispute. I expected it to between couples on the brink of breaking up. I didn't expect to see Scorpius and Rick at each other's throats. As I rushed over I saw a crowd growing around them.<p>

"Do you know where she's been Malfoy?" Rick sneered. "She spends more time in bed then out of them."

Scorpius looked murderous. "Fitzpatrick, walk away."

"Why?" He chuckled. "You going to have me suspended for saying something about your little whorey girlfriend?"

"Ah shit." I groaned pushing through the crowd. "Scorpius don't. Rick back the hell off! Everyone go back to your tents!"

"Speaking of the whore and the whore hath appear!" Rick relished in my presence as if it was the ammo he was looking for. Then without any warning, he shot forward and pulled me into a kiss.

The minute his lips touched mine, I kneed him in the groin and decked him in the face. It wasn't even a conscious thought. It was an involuntary reaction. Then as I started getting my senses I swung around to hold Scorpius back from killing him.

"HE'S…NOT WORTH IT!" I yelled using all my weight to stop him. "CAN SOMEONE HELP ME?"

A few of the bigger guys came over and tugged Scorpius back, but none of them looked especially eager to do so.

"Lauren can you go wake Professor Lerner?"

"What should I tell him?" Lauren smirked walking forward more than willingly.

I kicked some dirt in Rick's face. "Tell him that Rick assaulted me and that he needs to be put on his personal detail for the rest of the trip. And tell him to hurry."

"I don't know about that with his cane, but I'll tell him."

I walked over to Scorpius and the guys let go of him. "Calm down. Okay?"

"_Calm down?"_ He looked like he was questioning my sanity. "That guy deserves much more than that."

I nodded in agreement. "I know. I do, but he's not worth it."

"You okay?"

I grimaced, "Yeah…but now I need some mouth wash."

Putting his arm around me he nodded, though he was still obvious murderous. "If he does that again…" Threat hung in the air and I hugged him closely.

"Don't. He's trying to get you in trouble. Look at him. He's pathetic, and I'm pretty sure I made sure he shoots blanks from now."

Scorpius ushered everyone back to their tents as I waited for the Professor, once he got there he took Rick away and I walked back with Scorpius to our tent. Rick yelled insults, but it was a little hard to take him seriously with him cupping his private parts while he did it.

"You know," I groaned, "I think I bruised my knee on his junk…Do you have any mouthwash?"

He gave me the most incredulous look I'd ever seen. "What's WRONG with you?"

''What?"

He laughed and handed me some mouthwash. "You are so weird."

"Me? How am I weird?"

"It's okay, I guess I'll put up with it." He pretended to scoff.

I swirled it around in my mouth and spit it out on the side of the ten. "You guess? Whatever I'm great."

"After one fight you think you can take on the world eh?" He mocked me taking away the mouthwash and wrapping his arms around me arrogantly.

Looking up at him, I smiled. I felt so entirely and genially happy to see those freckles and bright gray eyes this closely again. I loved him. And he said he loved me. Could my life get any better? No, no it couldn't. "Yeah. Yeah I do."


	23. Shake It Out

Standing in my Quidditch uniform, I let out a tense breath and looked out across the field. Behind me my team were talking amongst themselves, but I paid them no attention. My nerves were all over the place. I knew we were just playing Hufflepuff so I shouldn't be worried, but I was. I had this gut feeling that something was wrong. That something was going to go wrong.

Maybe I was just paranoid. Maybe I was so used to getting dirt kicked in my face that I didn't know what it was like to legitimately have it all. But as I heard the cheers and screams of excitement from the stands I couldn't help but worry.

Hugo came over and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "You okay? You look a bit peaky."

"I dunno," I frowned. "Something feels… off."

"I know what you mean. I feel like Hufflepuff has something up their sleeve." I paced anxiously. I shook my head, feeling as if I was missing something and then turned to face the team. "I don't want any of you to let your guard down. Beater's stay on Pike and stay alert. I'm telling you I don't trust this. It's the Hufflepuff captain's final year. He's not going to just hand it to us."

They rolled their eyes at me. Probably thinking, 'Oh classic Rose, worrying for no reason.' But I couldn't shake the way I was feeling. It started off nice and easy. We settled into our positions and everything seemed to be okay, except that it wasn't.

They started off playing tentatively. They went for the obvious plays and the obvious goals. We scored twenty points in the first ten minutes, it was easy. It was too easy. It felt entirely too much like our last game with Ravenclaw. I called a time out fifteen minutes in, this time we were allowed enough time to go back to the locker rooms.

Luke gave me an odd look. "Rose, we are ahead what's up?"

"Something's wrong. They are playing too light. Hufflepuff may have never been the best, but they've never been this easy…_they're playing us_. I think Ravenclaw gave them some pointers." I paced the locker room anxiously.

"What could they be planning?" Mike asked teasingly, his voice questioning my sanity. "I think we are over reacting here."

I shook my head. "No, I feel it. Something's off…" My team took turns giving me a look of disbelief. "Just stay alert alright?"

When we climbed back onto our brooms and flew up to our respective posts everything changed. It was this slight shift that no one would notice in the stands. The minute the whistle blew, they came at us like hornets. Before they were buzzing around all innocently, but now they were purely venomous and hunting for the kill. They attacked the bludgers like they were ping-pong balls and not forty pounds of solid mass. The problem for them was I had expected this so I was prepared. They tried to score ten times in five minutes, but not a single goal went in. I could see the fury growing on their faces every time I blocked a shot. My body was soaked with sweat as I did everything in my power to stop them. And I thought I would be able to handle it for the rest of the game.

Then, it got much much worse.

All of sudden all of their furious, hatred inducing energy was focused on one person, _me. _

They hit me with twelve blunders in a row sending waves of shock up and down my body and creating crater sized bruises on me. After one particularly nasty hit to my ribs I called for a time out.

Hugo rushed over to me. "ROSE! You okay? Merlin, _they are beating the crap out of you…"_

"Luke!" I wrenched forward and grabbed him by the front of his robes. "You have to find the fucking snitch. I'm dying out here. I can't take much more!" I let out agonized groaned, released him and held the stitch in my side. "New plan! Mike you are going to stalk Hendreiks."

"The beater?" Mike gulped, "The big one?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Yes. All other chasers play normally. We are thirty points ahead, that's enough to get the snitch. I'm going to hold on as long as I can. But I want our Beaters to stalk their beaters."

"What? No way!" Hugo responded with wide eyebrows. "We need someone blocking for you!"

"Who is the captain Hugo?" I snapped sharply. "Now everyone work fast, because if they get another goal we are screwed. They need to have another goal in order to go after the snitch. So if you guys let them get it, I will kill each and every one of you… All hands in," Everyone leaned over and put their hand on mine. "No survivors on three, one, Two, THREE! NO SURVIVORS!"

Sluggishly I flew back over to my goal posts. In the crowd I saw Lauren, Lily and Kelly screaming at the top of their lungs and a few rows over saw Scorpius starring at me with a face etched with worry. I thought back two days earlier.

* * *

><p>"Is it just me or was that retreat boring?" Lauren sighed as we laid on her bed. "Isn't the whole point to go do something exciting before we leave and are forced to be fully fledged adults?"<p>

I shrugged unconcernedly. "Everyone chose the camping trip, and all activities had to be pre approved of by the school board. Sorry we couldn't give you the exotic vacation you craved."

"Is that also why you kept stopping the sex athon?"

"No…that was because I didn't want to be responsible for a pregnancy epidemic."

"Just because they weren't supposed to use magic didn't mean they couldn't." She reminded me.

I snorted and gave her a pointed look. "_Actually if you remember correctly Lauren I turned a blind eye to a few couples. _Did you see which couples I stopped? Would take a chance with those idiots? I bet they'd do it wrong and come out with evil babies…"

"How can they do it wrong?" Lauren scoffed incredulously.

"I don't know, but Tonya Linkman slept through sex ed all three times she took it if that tells you anything."

"Oh and you would know something about using protection would you?" She snickered giving me a suggestive look. "You and Scorpius huh?"

Blushing I pushed her and rolled my eyes. "I'm not discussing this with you."

"Yeah yeah yeah. You say that now, but I give it a month before you're panicking about it."

"What makes you say that?"

"You are a chronic worrier." She adjusted her headband, "You can't help it."

Checking my watch, I sighed, "Speaking of which I have to go finish studying for the Potions exam on Friday."

"Why don't you study tomorrow?"

"I have practice tomorrow."

"Do you _ever_ stop?"

Letting out an exhausted laugh I shook my head and forced myself to stand up. "I wouldn't know what to do with my time if I did."

"Say hi to Malfoy."

I paused in shock. "Seriously?"

Lauren chuckled to herself. "No."

"See you later loser." I fake glared at her throwing a pillow at her face.

Walking through the portrait hole fifteen minutes later I considered whether I should do my paper or I should visit Scorpius. I knew I should work on my paper, but a ten-minute snog break couldn't hurt could it? I knocked on his door and found him sound asleep on his bed. It was adorable; he was shirtless with his curled possessively around his mattress with a little pool of drool coming out of the side of his mouth. Laughing silently, I walked over, grabbed his blanket and tucked him in. If it wasn't creepy I would definitely take a picture and use it as blackmail later. Before I left, I gently pushed his blonde locks out of his face and went to attend to my studies.

Three hours later I was still awake and only half way through my study guide. My hand started cramping up as my knots began to build in my upper back from leaning over my parchment. I needed to go to sleep, but my conscious wouldn't let me. I could sleep in late if I needed to, but I had to get this study review done. If I finished it then all I had to do was look over the answers tomorrow in between preparing for the game against Hufflepuff.

"What are you still doing up?" Scorpius yawned from my doorway.

I held up the study guide up and yawned back at him. "I thought you were asleep."

He shrugged and walked over scratching his head. "Bloody bird outside my window won't shut up."

Then he slid into the space on the bed behind me, I leaned back against his chest with a contended sigh.

"_I'm …so …tired_."

"Then why don't you copy mine and study it tomorrow?"

I yawned again, covering my mouth, "Can't. I learn better this way."

His lips softly caressed my forehead. "Come on, you can't possibly learn straining yourself like this."

My eyes closed as his arms wrapped around me. "You are too tempting."

"I swear," He whispered huskily into my ear as he brushed his lips along the side of my throat. "I will help you study at lunch tomorrow."

"I'm supposed to eat with Kelly." I gulped as my neck erupted in goose bumps.

"She can come with," He told me as he grazed my hair to the other side of my neck so he pressed his lips against my bare neck with no distractions.

After a minute I let out a small groan. Until I realized that he was sucking on my neck in order to, telling by duration, leave a very large hickey. I ripped my neck away from him and spun around and pointed an accusatory finger at him. "YOU'RE TRYING TO LEAVE A HICKEY!"

"I don't know what you're talking about." He smirked mischievously.

I clasped a hand on my now raw neck. "Oh really? _My hickey thinks differently_!"

"What?" He asked, his tone perfectly innocent. "I love you," He planted a kiss on my forehead. "You love me," He left a small kiss on my chin before stalling to give me one last lustful look. "What's the problem?"

"The problem is the way you're looking at me right now." I giggle uncontrollably.

He grinned unashamedly. "Are you blushing?"

"I'm a ginger, I breathe therefore I blush."

"Are you sure that's why?" Calculatedly he moved forward and kept his lips mere centimeters away from my own. "Or could there perhaps be another reason?"

Laughing I pushed him away. "You are an idiot."

"Try and tell me I'm not persuading you."

"You are, but if we do what you are implying we do, I might lapse into a coma from sheer exhaustion."

He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "I'm _that_ good eh."

I snatched and pillow and smacked him with it. "No, I'm _that_ tired!"

"Then you should go to sleep." He told me, his voice turning earnest.

"Nooo." I groaned, crawling into his arms.

"This isn't helping your cause." He scoffed.

Suddenly a thought popped into my head as my arms hung around his neck. My heart hitched in my chest as I lowered my lips against his neck. His body stiffened as his arm hesitantly slid onto my back. Earlier when Lauren made the comment about me having sex and how I would worry. She was wrong. Because for once, I was with someone I completely trusted and loved.

His breathing became much heavier as his eyes closed and he tugged me into him closer. "Don't stop."

I smirked, and did as he asked. And when I was done there was a ridiculously large hickey on the right side of his neck. I giggled and then resumed to leave a trail of soft kisses around his neck until I reached his lips. Instead of turning that kiss into the passionate kiss it could have I promptly left a five of the least romantic kisses on his face making him turn to laughter.

I wasn't afraid to have sex with him. That day was just not today.

"Next time you decide to taunt me, please don't wear this." He whined slipping my tank top material between his fingers.

"Hey, you were the one that came in here." I raised my hands in my own defense as I gestured to me attire. "This is just what I sleep in."

His eyes seized me up hungrily. "…_So I'm definitely sleeping here_."

Laughing, I shrugged, "Fine, but you better legitimately help me study during lunch."

"You calling it a night?"

"I might as well." I sighed tossing my stuff on the floor.

I saw him twitch, the organization freak in him couldn't handle the mess, but the polite manners trained side of him couldn't bring himself to correct me.

"You have a problem?"

"So, you're going to leave your stuff laying there like that?" He questioned with a scowl.

"Yep." I folded my arms firmly.

He sighed.

"Want me to organize it?"

"Maybe."

"I will, but you have to ask me."

He looked like he'd rather hug Albus, but his compulsive need to have everything orderly took hold of him. "…uH…Please."

Laughing I rose and went to neatly stack the papers.

He eyed the view with a smug look on his face.

"You are such a perve!"

"How am I a perve?" He fired back raising his hands in his own defense. "I'm dating you aren't I? Does that mean I can't look or touch?"

I rolled my eyes and jump back into bed. "Shut up."

"You can't just tell me what to do!"

"Yes," I rolled over him and kissed him deeply, "I can."

"If you keep kissing me like that neither one of us will get any sleep." He groaned, his face showing how severely I was torturing him.

I sighed, "Fine, I'll stop." Shutting off the light, I snuggled into my pillow. Scorpius did the same. After a few minutes I realized something was wrong. "Scorpius?"

"Huh?"

"Why are you over there?"

"Why are _you over there_?" He countered.

Stubbornly, I frowned, "Are you going to move?"

"Sure."

Suddenly I felt his ankle resting awkwardly on my thigh. "What the …" I turned around and found him arrogantly turned away from me with his leg stretched back against me. "What is wrong with you?"

"Absolutely nothing."

Swiftly I rolled over and started hitting him, he flipped me over in a second and had me pinned down.

"Now this is the third time this evening you have started something you do not intend to finish." He informed me evenly. "Now stop or I won't be able to held responsible for my actions."

"I think my problem is I want to, it's just not the right time." I told him honestly as I eyed his lips, which were only inches above my head.

He looked surprised. "You want to?"

"Uh…"

"There's the blushing again." He whispered rubbing my cheek with the back of his thumb. "Now I'm going to stop you, because you clearly are at war with yourself. I understand it must be hard to keep your hands off…_all-of-this_."

Rolling my eyes, I shook my head. "So what is your suggestion?"

He moved off of me and pulled me onto his chest. "You are going to leave me alone and we are going to go to sleep."

My body shook with laughter as I nested into his chest. "Okay loser."

* * *

><p>The next morning, I woke up to an empty bed. I didn't really mind. Scorpius was an early riser, if he had to go get his morning coffee that was fine by me. But when I got to breakfast I didn't see him. Lily gestured for me to sit next to her.<p>

"What's that thing on your neck?" She asked bluntly.

"Huh?"

She handed me her butterfly compact and I let out a gasp. "_That little asshole_!" Grabbing my wand I made the mark disappear for at least a few hours.

"The whole hall saw anyway. I just thought you might want to get rid of it before you see your dad."

"Before I see who?"

Lily looked surprised. "Your dad is here. Didn't Hugo tell you?"

"No," I scowled, "He didn't.

"Well he's meeting with the Headmaster about something."

Suddenly I didn't care so much at the fact that my boyfriend had left a hickey on my neck. Now all I could think about the fact that Hugo hadn't prepared me for this. What was I supposed to say to my father? I hadn't spoken to him in weeks and he just shows up at my school without even a hint of a warning?

I went to class in a furious fog. During class Kelly nudged me.

"You okay?"

I shook my head and then whispered out of the corner of my mouth. "My dad's here."

"What? Why?"

"I have no clue."

Kelly's eyebrows shot right up, "We still having lunch in the library?"

"Yeah."

Being the sweet girl she was she gave my hand a reassuring squeeze before she went back to furiously taking notes. I couldn't be bothered. I knew it all already, and honestly the more the teacher talked the stronger the urge to leave became. But I stuck to my seat and just struggled through it.

This wasn't the worst thing that could have happened to me today, but it wasn't one of the best things either. That was when I noticed that Scorpius wasn't it class. I'd been so distracted by the news of my dad's arrival that I hadn't looked for him. My eyebrows furrowed at his empty seat and the empty seats around his. Was it Slytherin skip day?

Shrugging, I didn't worry about it. He would turn up later, and probably with a great story for what he and the other Slytherin idiots had been doing with their time. Maybe they even had a surprise practice. Now that I was thinking about it, almost the entire team was 7th years. I think only one of their players wasn't and as he was a 6th year he was pretty much the same thing._ Huh._

The bell rang, sending Kelly and I through the crowds of people to the Great Hall. Lauren was eating with her boyfriend today so we didn't wait for her; we just ate quickly and went straight to the library. Once we were there I waited five minutes for Scorpius before I just copied Kelly's. She was shocked.

"I don't think I've ever seen you copy mine before."

I shrugged, "First time for everything…I was too tired last night to finish. Thanks for letting me borrow."

"Of course….You sure you're okay?"

"I'm just stressed, with my dad being here, the game tomorrow, the exam tomorrow and…Scorpius was supposed to help me." I let out a breath and shook my head. "I will be fine."

Kelly gave me a warm smile and gave my shoulder a squeeze. "I'm going to go look around."

I nodded and went back to my notes.

I made flashcards to memorize the words, but after a few minutes all the words seemed to be blurring together. Luckily I had class to give me a reprieve. Odd isn't it? That sometimes the thing you dread is the thing that gives you a shelter from something you're used to. During class, I once again looked for Scorpius and was annoyed to see he was nowhere to be seen. Lauren adjusted her green striped headband and matched my gaze to Scorpius's empty seat.

"You mad?" Lauren said completely un-phased.

"I…" Was I angry at him? Or was it that everything seemed to be going down hill today? "I dunno…" I finished irritated. I eyed my watch. "You know…I'll be back."

She gave me a look of concern. "You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm just going to go splash some water on my face. I'll be back."

Just to prove that I wasn't ditching I left my bag, but as I walked down the hallway I realized it was more for my own state of mind then hers. What did she care if I ditched? Lauren wouldn't have cared at all.

With the Playoffs, Finals, Victiore's Wedding and …just general reality coming up my head was taking a beating. As soon as I left the loo, I knew I wasn't going back to class. Lauren would grab my bag and if not whatever…I'd go get it later. All I wanted to do was go crawl under my covers until the pounding stopped. Unfortunately, as soon as I turned to corner leading up to my dormitory I ran right into the one person I didn't want to see today; my father.

"Ugh!" I growled narrowing my eyes at him and moving away.

"Rose?" He breathed in surprise.

"Yeah?...I go to school here." I snapped with my pale arms crossed against my uniform. "Can I help you?"

His manly father eyebrows rose. "Rose, there is no reason for you to talk to me like that."

"Actually, you're right." My mouth narrowed, "There's no reason for me to talk to you at all!" Then I walked around him.

"ROSE WEASLEY! COME BACK HERE!" He roared, his face deep red, furious at my disobedience.

"Why?" I spat from the top of the stairs, "Are you going to apologize?"

My dad looked highly offended, "I have nothing to feel sorry for!"

"Oh! So when Albus stole your hair to make polyjuice potion and proceeded to manipulate my entire life you…yelled at him?" I asked knowingly.

"_Well_…"

"Oh so you checked on me to see how I was doing." I countered mockingly.

Guilt flashed up on his face. "I was busy."

"Yeah," I scoffed harshly, "Busy sleeping on the couch…Well as long as you have time to spend why don't you bother to go apologize to my boyfriend for the way you treated not only him, but his family!"

"Now, you hold it right there!" He shouted walking up to meet me. "You are not going to date a Malfoy! And his family got off lightly if you ask me!"

I let out a cold laugh, setting off my headache, but I didn't care. He needed to be shut down before I could leave. "Well that's the funny thing _dad_, _no one's asking you!_ I don't need your permission to date anyone; I'm seventeen, which means I'm of age. And in a week I will be eighteen. So you might want to start thinking about the immature way you've been acting or you won't see much of me at all from now on."

"Oh?" I could see his temper flaring and I knew exactly what was coming next. "Then where are you going to live?"

"Anywhere, but with you!" I countered heatedly, before maneuvering around him and stomping into my dorm.

I let out a huge breath, and was even more annoyed to find Scorpius lounging on the couch. Once he looked at me I saw a flash of guilt, but I didn't care. It was two o'clock and I'd already had a very long day. So instead of dealing with him I just went straight to my bed. He could tell me whatever had held him up later. I didn't care. I just wanted to feel better. My head felt like a dinosaur was sitting on it and anything to stop that was a god send to me.

"So," He began, clearly not getting what my silent walk meant, as he walked in through my open door. "I'm sorry about today-"

I raised my hands to stop him. "It's fine."

He did a double take. "It …is?"

"Yeah." I lied exhaustedly.

Scorpius eyed me suspiciously, "Alright…"

I turned away from him and grabbed a piece of parchment. I sent one to Hugo telling him to take over for me for practice, as I don't feel well and one asking Lauren to bring my bag back to my dorm. When I was finished I gave the letters to my owl and slipped my shoes off. The entire time I didn't look at Scorpius because I really was still cross with him but it wasn't the biggest issue I was having.

"YOU KNOW THIS DRIVES ME CRAZY!" He yelled suddenly. "I hate when you do this quiet, I-couldn't-give-a-rats-ass thing!"

I looked around wondering where in the world this outburst came from. "What?"

"You're mad at me. I can feel it!"

"It's no thing," I lied fiercely as I sat down on my bed, "I had to study, you couldn't help me because you were busy."

He narrowed his eyes at me suspiciously. "Why are you doing this?"

"Why? Because I'm not yelling I must be crazy?"

"Yes!"

I laughed humorlessly, putting my head in my hands. "I don't _feel_ like yelling at you."

"Well you better start because this is weird!" He told me.

"I have a monster headache, I just got done yelling at my father. I REALLY don't feel like yelling at you too. You didn't come, it's fine. Let's move on."

Scorpius sat down next me, "You do look a bit peaky."

"Thanks." I responded acidly. "Now can I rest?"

"Yeah," He scooped me up and put me under the covers. "Do you want anything?"

I shook my head. "Just make sure nobody bothers me unless they have a good reason to. Okay?"

"Okay…Do you want me to stay?"

"You don't have to."

Even with my eyes closed I knew his eyebrows were raised. "I know. I was asking if you wanted me to."

"If you promise not to yell again, yes."

He gently kissed my forehead, turned off the light and wrapped his arms around me. "I promise."

* * *

><p>And for once, when I woke up he was there. It was really nice, and my headache was gone. It must have been around six, so I must have just missed our last minute practice. Scorpius was dead asleep next to me. I tightened my muscles and released them to fully stretch out that stirred him awake. He leaned forward and kissed me while he possessively wrapped his arms around me.<p>

"Hey."

I snorted, "Hey."

"So …about earlier…I'm really glad you weren't mad, because I thought you were going to…" His voice drifted off and his face became somber.

I laughed, "Honey no. We had a pathetic little fight. That doesn't mean this is over. It will take a lot more for this to be over."

"Good," He let out a sigh of relief. "I've never done this before…I thought if one thing went wrong-"

"-The whole thing would fall apart," I finished for him holding him tighter. "_I'm not going anywhere. _I knew when we got together that you were weird, impulsive and sometimes inconsiderate, but I love you and that's what I signed up for."

He shook his head. "I was stupid."

"More inconsiderate," I smiled, "But I love you still."

He looked down at me like he'd never seen anything like me. "You're crazy, you know that right?"

"I've been told."

"I found this," He released me suddenly to sit up and pull something out of his pocket. He then handed me the necklace he'd given me for Valentine's Day.

My face broke out into the biggest smile, "Can you put it on me?"

"Of course." He brushed my hair messy hair aside, brought the necklace over my head and closed the clasp. "It's perfect."

"Now are you done freaking out?" I asked him. "Because I wasn't even that mad earlier…"

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Don't act like you've never overreacted."

"I'm not saying that. I'm saying I think it's funny that you did, because if you would have told me a year ago it would have been over me I would have thought you were crazy."

His face softened and he cupped my face in his hands. "Well we've changed, enough to fit together."

"I like to think so too."

Scooting forward I wrapped my arms around him and lowered my head into the crook of his neck. One of his hands wrapped around me while the other stroked my hair. I was so comfortable, so relaxed, I almost forgot about any other care in the world I might possibly have. It was like this place was our safe haven away from anything that could possibly hurt us or stop us from being together.

"Did you study?"

"Not enough," I groaned, "I don't even care. I'm sick of studying."

He cleared his throat, "What were you talking about earlier?"

"What?...Oh, I ran into my dad and I kind of yelled at him and ran…" I blushed embarrassedly. "I know I need to actually talk to him, but…he's acting like an ass and I'm not going to act ashamed of you to get his approval, he owes your whole family an apology as far as I'm concerned…"

He tipped my chin with the tips of his fingers, "Hey, don't worry about that."

"I'm trying not too, but he should have warned me so I could have been prepared and I don't know maybe acted like an adult. I mean I'm turning eighteen next week I need to at least start acting right."

"Says who?"

"Society," I groaned pulling myself into his chest. "I have so much stuff coming up and I'm just worried I'm going to fuck it all up. I just want to stay here forever."

He traced the lines of my bra on my back. "I know."

"Where were you today anyway?"

"I can't tell you," Scorpius yawned honestly.

I pulled back to look at him. "You can't tell me as your girlfriend or as Head Girl and Gryffindor Quidditch Captain?"

"The later two."

"Okay," I shrugged ignorantly. "As long as it's not the first one."

He said, "Though, I did see the Ravenclaw Captain talking to the Hufflepuff captain today."

My ears perked up interestedly. "Oh?"

"Captain to Captain I'd say watch out for a double cross. I wouldn't put it pass Turner to use any intel he has against you."

"Thanks," I kissed him and instead of going to dinner or leaving the room we just laid there, completely intertwined and perfectly happy.

The next day I began to see what Scorpius was saying. After I took my Potion's exam, and headed to the Great Hall to distress I caught Robbie Turner giving me a smirk. Not just any smirk either, an I'm-going-get-you-back-you-little-bitch smirk.

When I got back to my dorm, I let out an agonized scream. I was beyond nervous and I had plenty of time to get ready. I could have spent it going over plays or checking in with Victoire on how she was doing two weeks before her wedding. I didn't have the attention span for either. So I fell face first onto the couch in a fit of hysterics. Hufflepuff had gotten good this season. Really good. And our team was coming together, but this was the last game before the playoffs. The last game! What if I fucked it up?

"What are you doing?"

"Dying."

Scorpius flipped me over, and pulled me into his arms. "Why are you dying?"

"WHAT IF WE LOSE?" I groaned. "It will be all my fault."

He laughed at my dramatics. "You'll be fine."

"You're just saying that because you don't want to play us."

"No, I'm not actually. I'm trying to be supportive."

"Oh?" I teased him as I shifted around to sit in his lap. "Are you going to sit in the Gryffindor side and wear my jersey?"

He scoffed at that, "Oh, of course. Because I wouldn't be kicked of the Slythern team for that."

"No, not at all." Straddling his waist, I wrapped my arms around his neck and smirked. "But if I really wanted you to, you would, wouldn't you."

"What do I get out of it?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

I smacked his arm. "My love and affection!"

"I get that anyway."

I raised my arm to hit him again, but he caught my arm. "Hey!"

"I'm going to get a bruise if you keep hitting me."

"Well you deserve it."

"Fine, keep hitting me, all just look sexier with a bruise on my," He drew back his sleeve to make a muscle. "Manly manly arms."

"You're literally an idiot. They should have a picture of you in the dictionary." I laughed uncontrollably.

"Next to devastatingly handsome?"

"YOU ARE RIDICULOUS!"

* * *

><p>"ROSE!" A voice shouted bringing me to the present, when suddenly I realized I was no longer two hundred feet in the air and I wasn't looking at Scorpius from across the field. He was instead sitting down on the Quidditch pitch with me, his hand locked around mine as, what I can only assume to be blood trickled down my face.<p>

"What happened?" I croaked and felt a wave of agony crackle through me. "How did I get down here?"

"Pike caught the snitch, Gryffindor won. Afterwards the beaters took this as an excuse to slam both bludgers into you."

I let out a noise of disapproval. "_Assholes_."

"You're a mess."

"Please tell me you didn't kill them."

"No…But your brother went after them." He admitted.

I tried to get up. I don't know what I intended to do, stop him, talk to him, or just do…something. But instead I felt an overwhelming sense of dizziness and floated right back down. "Ughhh."

"Don't try to get up."

"Great advice Scorp." I scoffed sarcastically. Through his tight smile I saw it was worse than I thought. "Am I going to be okay?" I asked in a weak voice that didn't belong to me.

He nodded, "Of course."

"Will you stay with me?"

He nodded again.

"Make sure Hugo doesn't get expelled okay?"

Scorpius laughed at that. "Don't worry, your cousin pulled him back before he could do any serious damage."

I opened my mouth to say more, but instead my eyes close and I fell into a deep sleep.


	24. Again

There are some weeks were everything seems to just take it out of you. Weeks that just takes everything you are and contests it. The same week I have my cousin's wedding, is the exact same week we play Slytherin in the final match of the season. And also is the week I find out if I got into any of the Ministry programs I got into. _Insert gulp here._

For the past three years we have lost in the final game. Before that we OWNED the field. But suddenly we started getting this streak of making it all the way to the finals and then loosing it. Fourth year, I was in the hospital wing from a injury and my sub let in thirty goals before Slytherin caught the snitch. Fifth year, our seeker lost the snitch and the Hufflepuff team caught it, causing the biggest upset ever since Hufflepuff hasn't won a championship in fifty years. Then last year Slytherin beat us in the first five minutes. No one even had time to score a single goal, but their seeker caught the snitch and there was nothing we could do about it.

This year is different. Our team has been training every day, going over Slytherin's moves extensively and we were committed. If we lose, which we won't, it would be because they were better. Not because they pulled some cheap shots like Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, but because they were legitimately better.

_Three days till the game_

_Five days till Victoire's wedding._

_Six days till I find out about my job status._

I can and will get through this. First I had to learn how to properly dance for Victoire's wedding and somehow I was having more of a problem with that than everything else. I even asked Logan to come over and help me since he was one of the very few males I knew who honestly knew how to dance. It was hopeless.

"Ugh I suck!" I groaned throwing myself at the couch.

"You'll be alright." Logan told me sympathetically. "…You can't be good at everything."

I sighed, "I'm actually rubbish at quite a few things..." I peeled myself off the couch and gave him a defeated smile. "Thanks for trying. I guess I'm just a lost cause."

"Well you still have sometime. Just practice." He snorted good naturedly before giving me a one armed hug and leaving. 

I starred after him bitterly. Why couldn't I have his ability to follow a beat? Starting the music up again I tried to follow the beat on my own. After a few minutes I was about to just throw in the towel when I heard Scorpius laughing behind me. Whipping around I glowered at him. 

"Something funny?"

He pointed at me with a smirk still fresh on his lips.

"Oh yes!" I drawled sarcastically. "It's hysterical that I'm going to make an idiot out of myself in front of my entire family and a hundred strangers!"

"Do you have to dance?" He was just enjoying this a little too much. "Can't you just stay in your seat?"

I scowled, "Is there a reason you came here to tease me?"

"Not really," He came over to me and wrapped his arms around the back of my waist. "Though you look cute."

"Why?...If you say it's because I'm angry I'm going to hurt you Scorpius Malfoy!" I pointed at him warningly.

He said nothing.

"UGH!" I groaned falling onto his chest, "Why is this so hard? I'm a girl, aren't I supposed to be good at this stuff?"

"Yes, but it's okay….You know I could teach you a few things." He told me suggestively.

I snorted, cracking a smile. "Oh really?"

"I honestly can."

"Well you have been taught how to be a proper human being since birth so please, instruct me in the ways of dancing."

He went over to the radio, "Well let's start off with something easy. You can slow dance right?"

"Um…sure."

"Okay," His right hand tightly secured around my waist, "Show me."

I gave him a look, "But the guy leads."

"Yes, but can you follow me?" He raised his eyebrows superiorly.

"Try me." I snapped back, my competitive edge coming into place.

"Fine."

He picked up the pace, but unlike with Logan I managed to keep up with him. Logan had more of a practiced flow to his dancing, whereas Scorpius's seemed to come naturally. It was like swimming really, once you got into it you had it. Afterwards I let out breath of astonishment.

"Wow!"

"You aren't as bad as I thought…" He eyed me curiously. "I wonder why you couldn't get that before."

I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Maybe I didn't have the right partner."

"Like sex partner?" He teased me horribly.

I laughed, "You are really corny you know that?"

"I suppose so."

"Ooh!" I squealed and pulled away from him to turn up the music.

"What?" He furrowed his pale eyebrows together. "Oh hate that song!"

I snickered and turned it up, which he took as an invitation to chase me around the room. It awhile for him to catch me, but when he did he locked his arms around me so I couldn't escape.

"You're too in shape." He let out an exhausted breath as I held the music away from him.

"Okay well why don't we pick a song together?"

"Fine."

"No…" I frowned and turned it to the next song, "No…"

He scoffed at the next one, "Hell no."

"What you don't like pop songs?" I mocked him knowingly.

"Just as much as you like the other two songs before it…Why don't we just...?" His voice trailed off as I turned it to another song.

I turned upward, "What do you think?"

"I like it."

"Me too," I put it down and switched around to face him.

My head went to his shoulder and my arms wrapped around his stomach. His jaw rested against my temple as we swayed to the beat of the song. I fit perfectly against his body and melted in with mine. His scent calmed me instantly and I found myself snuggling up into the crook of his neck as our lower halves moved rhythmically with the music.

At first it was really sweet and I couldn't be more content. But as the moments grew on I realized I needed to do something I really didn't want to.

"Scorpius?" I whispered regretfully.

"Hmm?" He murmured softly against my ear.

"After today we should probably stay away from each other…I mean it's not exactly professional for the two opposing captain's to be snogging and holding hands right before they go off to battle is it?"

He frowned, but didn't disagree. "I understand. You're right."

Suddenly I felt a rush of guilt as I thought he might be misunderstanding my intention. "I want to make it clear that I don't want to. It's more I feel like however this ends-"

"With Slytherin winning." He finished for me arrogantly.

I gave him a glare. "….You're making this easier all the time!"

"I'm just kidding!" He snorted grabbing me closer so I couldn't leave even if I wanted to.

"Sometimes you aren't so funny you know."

"You love me." He insisted not taking me seriously.

I rolled my eyes dismissively. "I guess."

"You know I love you right?" His gray eyes dilated making my heart rate increase ever so slightly as the tension between us suddenly became serious.

"Yes, but I do like hearing it." I replied, cupping his face gently. His face looked a little paler than usual and I could see dark circles above his triangle of freckles. "You okay?"

He nodded his eyes betraying him, "I just have a lot on my mind."

I could have said something. I could have asked him what was on his mind. But I didn't. Because if he wanted me to know he would have said what it was. He was the type that liked to work out his problems on his own and then talk to me afterwards. And for once I didn't feel like beating it out of him. If it had nothing to do with me, I was perfectly okay with him doing it.

So I leaned up and kissed him, it stirred something inside of me like every kiss I've ever had with, something dark and forbidden, but perfectly accessible somehow. It felt he was lighting every single part of me on fire with just the simplest touch. Somehow we made it onto the couch, I suppose I shouldn't say somehow when I was the one on top of him, but I don't remember consciously moving. We just kind of floated over there. And at some point it went from light, tingle kisses to charged passionate kissing. My skin flushed as I flattened against him and his hand went up the back of my shirt. If we weren't in the middle of the common room and if fifteen different people weren't privy to the password we probably would have done it right then and there. But I realized were we were and I stopped.

He was dazed, "What?"

"Can we move somewhere else?" I laughed gesturing to the easily accesible portrait hole.

Without another word he rose to his feet, scooped me up in his arms and rushed up to his room.

"Can't wait a single second can you?" I doubled over in his arms chuckling.

"Nope," He eyed me longingly as he lowered me onto his bed.

He slowly lifted my shirt over my head and watched me while he took off his own. It was like he couldn't bear to miss even a second of my reaction. I knew he was muscular, I'd seen him shirtless dozens of times, but this was different because the content was entirely different. One by one we stripped off our remaining clothing. My breathing became uneven as I gazed up at him anxiously. He was the second male to ever see me fully naked and I was glad to see he wasn't immune. Carefully he lowered his body down on mine and then left a trail of butterfly kisses along my neck.

An hour later, I laid on his chest and felt it rise and fall. We were both entirely naked and I was beginning to wonder where exactly he threw my underwear so I could crawl back into them. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy the activity we just partook in. I did…twice, but I felt entirely too vulnerable with nothing covering me but his olive sheets. So I finally just sucked it up and asked him.

"Where did you put my underwear?"

"Why?" He snickered evilly. "I like you naked."

I glared at him, with a dry voice, "That's great and all." I drawled sarcastically. "But I don't."

"I think they fell under the bed."

Under my breath I scoffed, "_Fell,_ my ass…"

"Well why don't you go get them?"

"I will!" Then I grabbed all of the sheets in a flash and wrapped them around myself leaving him entirely naked.

At first he was shocked, but then he put his arms behind his neck and smirked. "I have nothing to hide."

"Ah huh," I pulled on my underwear, "How would you like it if I plastered Hogwarts's walls with pictures of you like that?"

"I don't think that would be fair to them," He boosted, "I mean they would probably all suffer from concussions from all that fainting."

I rolled my eyes and threw a pillow at him. "Your ego is ridiculous."

"Don't try and act like you didn't have a good time."

"I'm not." I snorted giving him a dirty look as I dragged on my pants and shirt. "I'm just not applauding my work like you are."

He hoped over, and grabbed my arms to stop me from changing. "Where do you think you're going?"

"I have practice!" I laughed as gave me pleading eyes. "You have homework I'm sure!"

"Yes, but that's no fun."

Letting out an exaggerated sigh, I kissed him intently. "We can do this again after the game."

"No," He corrected me with a mischievous smile; "We _will_ have sex after the game."

"You're insufferable," I laughed again, bringing my lips down on his.

"Yes, but you love me." He reminded me as if I had forgotten, as if I possibly could.

He tugged on his boxers right before I slid onto his lap. I straddled his waist, and his arms linked loosely around my back. I kissed him once, twice, three times even, giggling the whole time. I'd never seen him smile so much and I absolutely loved it.

"You love me?" He asked rhetorically, "So then you will forgive me when Slytherin, wipes the floor with Gryffindor this week."

I lowered my lips to his, but I didn't touch his lips, I lingered there for a minute and then whispered. "I'll still love you when Gryffindor, kills Slytherin."

Then before he could retort, I grabbed my shirt, the last piece of clothing I wasn't wearing, slid off his lap and swaggered out of the room.

* * *

><p>For the next two days I hardly ever saw Scorpius. I ate with the team, I practiced with the team and I even walked to class with them. We were seven parts of an inseparable unit and we were working well. I'd never been in such good shape. It almost distracted me from all the pressure from the week. That's why when I ran into Albus's I wasn't fazed until I saw who it was.<p>

I immediately, moved out of the way and kept walking, but then he stopped me. "Look," He started with an unnerving amount of emotion in his face. "I'm sorry."

I was taken aback. "Excuse me?"

"I know it took me long enough…" He sighed, his bloodshot eyes downcast in guilt. "But I mean it….I finally get why you were so mad…and why it was wrong."

"Fine," I snapped evenly.

"Fine?" He breathed in surprise. He was expecting a fight.

I nodded and crossed my arms. "If you go publically apologize to Scorpius I will forgive you."

His face was instantly incensed. "What?"

"Relationship or no relationship what you did to him was completely and totally wrong. Own up to it and I will forgive you. Until then you should expect no change from me."

Albus's bright green eyes were wide in absolute shock as he ran a hand threw his hair. I didn't wait for a response. I gave him an ultimatum. Now was his chance to pick a team. Either he supported me and was no longer on the team to take me down or he would always be against me. I was done waiting for him to just be the bigger person and act the way he should have acted all along. I had things to do and I wasn't wasting my time on him. We hadn't properly spoken in months; it was going to take more than a few sincere words to reverse what he's done.

On my way back to my dormitory, I was surprised to hear a lot of noise coming from it. Scorpius rarely had people and nobody would hang around the common room unless they were waiting for me. So why would so many people be waiting for me?

I walked in and the minute I took a step, I saw the banner and everything clicked…It was my birthday party. The weird thing was my birthday was last week…Scorpius gave me a cup cake from the kitchens and got an assortment of other presents, but it wasn't a big thing. I let out a laugh as Lauren and Kelly walked over with my cake, which was in the shape of a Quaffle.

"You guys…my birthday was last week." I snorted in confusion.

"Which is exactly why you wouldn't expect us to throw you a birthday party this week!" Kelly revealed excitedly, clearly this had been her brainchild.

"You didn't have to do this!" I laughed in shock.

Kelly waved that aside, her hand intertwined with her boyfriends as she gestured to my presents. "Open them!"

I was so out of place it took me a minute to get into the moment. I was so into my extra curricular activities this month that I barely noticed that it was my birthday. But I wasn't upset when they didn't make a big thing about it. I just assumed we would celebrate more during the summer when we had fewer commitments. _I didn't expect this._ But I was thankful it was a nice little stress reliever before the big game.

Pike sat next to me on the couch as we both took bites of my birthday cake. He looked worried as ever. "How good do you think our odds are tomorrow?"

"I think we have a good chance." I told him, as I leaned forward. "Look all we can do is our best. If we fail, we fail. But at least we can say we did everything we could."

"Are you still dating Malfoy?"

I nodded, "We aren't this week, but we will be next week."

He gave me an odd look as people chatted around us. "What does that mean?"

"Luke," I told him with a smile. "I'm going to do everything in my power to destroy Slytherin. My boyfriends the captain and the teams leading chaser, I have to distance myself. So that way when I win, and I throw it in his face. It's not because I don't love him, it's because we were _that _much better."

He starred at me and I was glad to see that I relieved some of his worries. I couldn't have my seeker worried right before the big game. That would just be wrong. We spent the rest of the night talking about anything, but Quidditch. Tomorrow we would be forced throw ourselves in thick of it. But for one night we allowed ourselves to laugh at the gag gifts my cousins had bought me and throw cake in Mike's face.

* * *

><p><strong>Game day.<strong>

I never went to sleep. Instead I just stayed up and cleaned the remains from my party. We had worked so hard and I didn't want to see it go to waste. I wanted to win. I needed to win. Apparently the rest of the team didn't sleep much either because when I went down to breakfast they all were already done there. Unlike the night before when we were rowdy and slipping pieces of cake into Mike's pants, we were all silent. All that was heard was the slurping of our hot chocolate, the scraping of our eggs and bacon from our plates. Eventually other students filed in. And then the Slytherin team came in, much like we did. Wordlessly we all looked up at them. None of them held an expression and neither did we. Today we were equals; competition for the same prize that we both deemed was already ours.

After sitting for nearly two hours I gestured for everyone to get up. We all walked from the Great Hall and paused before going out onto the grounds. Lily and a few of the other sixth year girls came and painted our faces gold and scarlet. They did this for every championship game. It should have made me more nervous, but it didn't. Instead it made me more focused and alive.

They all finished before me, so they headed to the locker room where I said I would meet them. I trailed behind them only a few yards. I was about to go into the locker room, but I stopped when I saw Scorpius's dad stand a few feet away from me, starring right at me.

"Hello," I smiled weakly, completely and entirely unsure of his perception of me.

"Ms. Weasley," He addressed me formally, but his eyes glittered at me with a refined form of hatred.

I shifted my weight awkwardly. "Well …"

"He's going to America you know." He informed me sharply as if this was specifically because of me.

"Excuse me?"

He sneer grew and I found I hated it. "Scorpius received an offer from the American Ministry.

"What?" He had to be lying, but I saw from his certainty that he wasn't.

"He's leaving in August."

"No I didn't know that." I answered blindsided.

He raised his pointed chin up ever so slightly. "He's going to be an Auror and you will never see him again."

"I love your son Mr. Malfoy." I told him bluntly and unashamedly, "But if you have a problem with your son seeing me you need to take that up with him, because I'm not going to stop seeing him."

He looked shocked that I dared to speak to him this way, but he regained his composure quickly. "What, I wonder, do you expect to come from your relationship? Do you imagine it having a fairytale ending?"

"No, I expect that we will either break up or stay together. But however this relationship continues is between us. There's nothing fairytale about it, because we have a real relationship." I scowled, "Have a nice day Mr. Malfoy."

Then I walked into the locker room and put away any doubt or discouragement and got the boys ready for the game.

I said nothing to them. We had fifteen minutes to give a pep talk and get out there. I said absolutely nothing. The wind howled through the room and they all starred as I straddled a chair. Then just before my last minute was up, I stood before all of them.

"I want to thank all of you. I've been on this team for six years and I've loved each and every minute of it."

My eyes seared into each and every single one of theirs, "I want you to make them hurt. I want them to remember that they lost to Gryffindor, the team that busted their Asses to kick theirs." My voice lowered so they would have to fight to hear me, but they didn't have any trouble doing that. They hung onto every word I was saying like it was my last breath.

"Now everyone huddle together," I wrapped my arms around Hugo and Mike, "WHO ARE WE?"

"GRYFFINDOR!" They roared and then we swarmed together screaming our lungs hoarse.

The day was purely May. The grass was fresh; the trees were just starting to regain their leaves. The temperature was a perfect 60 degrees with a breeze that would work in our favor. My team assembled behind me and we all joined hands as we waited for the gate to raise. Once it did, we separated and they followed me single filed onto the field.

Scorpius and his team did the same and we met at the center with our brooms at our feet.

"Captains, shake hands." The referee announced clearly.

I steeped forward and promptly crushed Scorpius's hand. He smirked at me, his eyes twinkling. He knew it must be killing me to stay so indifferent, but I managed it.

"Good Luck." He told me arrogantly.

"You're the one that's going to need it." I told him cockily before I released his hand and jumped onto my broom.

Once the whistle was blown, all hell broke loose. Every single player was playing their hardest. The seekers had to duck every minute from the vicious rounds of beater attacks inquired by each team. The chaser's body checked each other so aggressively I could swear I could hear their ribs fracturing. And me? For once, I was the one that was fairing pretty easily. They came by six times in the first twenty minutes, but each time I deflected it and moved on. I had a bruise growing on my knee from one of the shots, but other than that I was fine.

The game headed into an hour and we were pretty even. Slytherin had gotten two past me, and we had gotten three past them. Luke was searching around the field endlessly for the snitch to no avail. We were stuck at a stalemate and I could see not only my players getting restless, but their player's too. The beaters, starred at my hungrily and I had a feeling they were holding back. And then…they weren't. The beater's who were playing ping-pong previously, were no hot on my ass. Every time the Slytherin chaser's came my way. I let it two goals before I called a time out. The Slytherin beater's were much tougher than either the Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff beaters, it was a good thing I had trained all month for this because otherwise I would have dropped already.

"Thoughts anyone?" I asked breathlessly wiping the sweat from my forehead as I hunched over my broom exhausted.

"Find the snitch." Hugo offered pointlessly. "There's nothing else we really can do."

I shrugged angrily and cracked my aching back. "Well, let's just hold on boys. We've made it this far haven't we?...Okay hands in!"

"GRYFFINDOR!" We yelled with slightly less enthusiasm than earlier.

The second the game started up again Luke shot off to the side of the stadium. At first I thought he was just feigning, but then I saw how fast he was going and I was shocked. He saw the snitch. The Slythern's saw this and used a different plan. Their seeker went after Luke all right, but their chaser's were invincible. They refused to lose. They came at me with the quaffle all the damn time. I think I counted 3 more goals went in out of the twenty they shot at me. I was running out of fuel, but they just kept gunning for me. I guess they figured if they couldn't catch the snitch they might get enough points manually to win. Scorpius was the main offender he came at me with everything he had and almost accomplished his target, but not close enough ten sweaty minutes later I was about to collapse when I heard the whistle go off. The score was 200 Gryffindor, 120 Slytherin. We won. Arms of people came rushing over to me as I flew to the grounds and tears of happiness flew down my cheeks as I dropped helplessly into my brother's arms. My team lifted me up and carried me into the castle. I was literally high off the euphoria; it felt like a very vivid dream full of noise, color and excitement. We couldn't have won. But we did. And it was everything I thought it could be.

I couldn't keep the smile off my face as every Gryffindor congratulated us on our win. My team passed the cup around the room as streamers went off every ten seconds. I kept shutting my eyes and opening them expecting to wake in the hospital wing, but it didn't happen. _This was real._

* * *

><p>After all the hoopla died down, I looked for Scorpius. I knew I should give him some space, but I couldn't. I needed to see him. Although I'd never admit it these past days without him had been awful. Not the actual days but from the fact that I had to stay away from him. So I left the Gryffindor common room and slumped back to my dorm exhaustedly. As I opened the portrait hole, I felt a rush of guilt. I should be happy I won, but I should also check on Scorpius since it was his team that just lost.<p>

I carefully stumbled up to his room. My body was heavier than it had been hours ago, but I didn't slow down. If he wanted to be alone I would understand. If the roles were reversed I'm not sure I would want to see him either.

He was leaning against his bed, still in his dirty Quidditch uniform, bitterly drinking from his flash. I grimaced and made a noise to make sure he knew I was there. His eyes floated up to me and he let out a scoff.

"Now," He said in between sips of alcohol, "Would not be the time to gloat."

I walked over and scooted into the space next to him. "I'm not going to gloat. You guys tried hard."

"Yeah, not hard enough it seems." He scowled detachedly.

I brushed his askew hair from his face gingerly. "You want to be alone?"

"No, it's okay. I had a feeling you were going to win."

"Well you guys didn't make it easy." I admitted freely, I showed him the bruises. "I'm going to be bed ridden for the rest of the week."

He discarded his flash and pulled me into him. "You smell horrible."

I laughed, "So do you."

"We should shower."

I let out a strained groan. "I don't think I can even get back up."

He sighed and let out a yawn. "What are your plans for this weekend?"

I inhaled and cozied into his sweat-ridden neck. I didn't care. "Victoire's wedding."

"Aren't you maid of honor?"

"Ah huh." I murmured as my eyes closed.

He frowned, "Don't you need a date?"

"I didn't put plus one." I added, "Though she did tell me to invite you."

That surprised him. "Really?"

"Yeah."

"Too bad I can't."

I frowned, "Well you could. I just didn't think you'd want to."

"Come on Rose," His voice darkened as it grew serious. "You know that wouldn't end well."

Sitting away from him I starred at him. "Why not? You could just come to the reception. You wouldn't even have to come to the whole wedding. It would be fun-"

He stopped me with a blunt glare. "Don't be ridiculous. You know that would never work."

"I'm not being ridiculous." I replied, hurt by his sharpness. "I think it would be fine."

"Of course _you_ do." He scoffed to himself bitterly. "Because you think everything will work out if you want it to. _That only works for you Rose."_

I scowled and shook my head. I tried to remember that he was drunk and angry that the result of the game. He had trained just as hard as we did and we won. That had to cut deep especially since he was the captain. But I wasn't going to apologize for that. I earned my win, as did my team. We had a lot of setbacks and we managed to power through. It may look easy to him, but my life wasn't as simple as he made it. Before I said something I'd regret, I forced myself to my feet.

"I'll see you on Sunday then." I told him quietly, not bothering to look at him.

He said nothing and let me leave.

The next morning I was still upset, but I didn't let it bother me. I had to focus on Victoire. She picked me up from the Headmaster's office around 10 and we went to breakfast. During which time we double and triple checked to make sure everything was on schedule for the next day.

Victoire's bright blonde hair was piled on her head as we went over the guest list. "Hey Rose?"

"Hmm?" I asked as I took a bite of my pancakes.

"Didn't you invite Scorpius?"

My face darkened and I lied, "No."

"Why not?"

"I mentioned it to him, and he said it probably wouldn't be a good idea." I told her simply as I pretended to busy myself with time schedule.

Her face looked troubled, but she didn't say anything more about it.

For the rest of the day we were at her house making last minute alterations to our dresses. Victoire looked drop dead gorgeous when she slipped on her dress. She looked absolutely flawless; the dress complimented her so well that I told her she should wear it everyday. Then I spent the rest of the day going back and forth between Uncle Harry's house and Uncle Bill's house. I had to pass messages back and forth and make sure the groomsmen were acting right. Of course they weren't, but after a few stern words and a few dirty looks from Grandma Molly they got it together.

The night before Lily, Roxanne and I hung out with Victoire in the living room. We ate candy and junk food and watched old movies all night until we all fell asleep. We tried to get a stripper, but considering we were staying at Uncle Bill's that idea died quickly.

I was the last one to fall asleep and I couldn't help feeling slightly raw. Selfishly I wished Scorpius hadn't reacted the way he did. I knew he was right, but it still made it clear that no matter what had changed between us the real rules of the world hadn't changed in the slightest. Which made me question were did that leave us long term. We hadn't been together long, but school was ending in three weeks. What were we going to do after that? He was going to America and whether he told me about it or not I knew he had already taken it. He wouldn't give up such an opportunity and I wouldn't want him to. Biting my lip, I turned over and looked and Victoire's angelic sleeping face. Sometimes I wish I had her certainty. She always knew exactly what she wanted and then went out to get it. Why couldn't I be more like that?

* * *

><p>The next day went according to plan. We had a few hiccups, a few groomsmen sneaking some booze and a few of the seating arrangements were off, but I fixed it all before anyone was the wiser. Right before the ceremony, I went in to see Victoire. She stood in front of a full-length gold mirror. Her hair was swept up into an elegant do, and her face was sprinkled with the lightest make-up. She didn't need anymore than that. She was stunning.<p>

"You…You look…" I astonished looping my hand around her waist with tearful eyes. "Wow…He's going to eat his heart out."

She beamed. "I hope so."

I heard a double knock on the door. "That's our cue. You ready?"

"Yep."

"No turning back, you sure?"

She laughed softly. "Of course."

"Well then let's get you hitched!"

The wedding took about twenty minutes and it was actually quite moving. I never expected myself to be the type to cry at wedding, but I couldn't help myself. They're vow's were so heartfelt, especially Teddy's. I never asked him the moment that he knew he was in love with her, but he told a churchful of people all about it. By the time they were legally married, I was full on crying and so was Roxanne, even Lily was getting a little misty.

Roxanne and I left for the reception together and had to collect ourselves in the bathroom. We fixed each other's make-up laughing the whole time. Then we went into the reception. It was just as we hoped it would be. It was a giant tent like area, held up by huge, strong pillars with simple twinkle lights on top for when it grew dark. I sat at the head table and laughed as James gave his toast, and I gave a very sappy one to accommodate it. After everyone was done eating their meals everyone started to let loose. I went over to Victoire and gave her a big hug.

"Jesus Victoire," I grabbed her hand with a laugh, "Can your hand breathe under all those diamonds?"

"Oh it's managing just fine," She grinned brightly, wiggling her fingers.

I was in awe, "Ted must be making _dough_ as an Auror."

"It was his grandmothers." She told me before the man of hour came over.

Ted curtsied to me mockingly. "Cousin!"

"I guess we are now." I snorted good naturedly before tugging him over into a hug. "You take care of her." I told him sternly.

He saluted me, and then swept Victoire onto the dance floor.

My face broke out into an unbreakable smile as I watched the pair dance. They looked so incredibly happy, that even Satan himself would be a little amused by the sight. James came over to see with a smirk.

"You know it's a rule that the maid of honor and the best man are expected to dance together." He told me arrogantly.

I rolled my eyes and laughed at him.

"Well favorite cousin have you gotten over you aversion to dancing?"

"It's not an aversion. I just can't follow a beat." I put my hand over my heart feigning sincerity. "I just don't want to slow _you _down."

He pulled me into a waltz stance all majestically. He look handsome in his tux, it accented his flowing jet-black hair and wide brown eyes. I could see the tableful of girls eyeing him longingly. "Cuz, nothing can slow me down."

James then proceeded to whip me around the dance floor like I was rag doll. I couldn't stop laughing and by the time he dropped me into an overdramatic dip, the whole room was spinning. He ushered me to a table with wide set grin.

"You okay Rosie?"

I nodded clutching the table for reassurance. "Go, be with your women! I must rest…"

It took five minutes for my brain to stop spinning. By the time that happened, I noticed everyone was on the dance floor. I wasn't sad. I was more in a general sentimental mood. I wanted Scorpius to be here, but he couldn't and I had to learn to understand that. Maybe it would be better for us to break up now. I didn't want to think about it. But if it was impossible to convince him to just come with me to a wedding how could we continue a cross continental relationship? He wasn't being ridiculous. It was unrealistic for me to force him to come here, but it was also unrealistic for him to not realize what not coming would mean.

Instead of sulking though I watched as my family overpowered the dance floor with a smile. My mother came over at some point and gave me a kiss before going onto the dance floor with Uncle Charlie. The sight was hysterical, poor Uncle Charlie couldn't follow a beat either. I couldn't tell if it was were I genetically got it from or if he was just so broken from following dragons his whole life that he couldn't move properly.

I got up from my chair, adjusted my yellow dress and walked over to my dad when I stopped dead in my tracks. I was expecting to find my dad, my Uncle Harry and maybe a few other of the male members of the family, I didn't not expect to see Scorpius standing in front of them. I hid behind a pillar, in disbelief. He couldn't be here..._This wasn't possible_. But he was and listened eagerly.

"Be nice," Harry warned his brother in law sternly, "Hear him out."

"Sir," Scorpius started nervously, "I know what you're nephew has told you and what you've come to believe about me. And I'm not here to tell you that they're all lies. I'm here to tell you that I'm in love with your daughter. And although we both know I'm not even close to being good enough for her." He paused to clear his throat and interlock his trembling fingers. "I want to be with her. If she decides she doesn't want me or doesn't want to be with me that's her choice. I'm not asking for your permission or your approval. I'm just asking that you don't stop us."

Ron Weasley's aging face-hardened as he starred up the much younger man. "What makes you think my opinion would have any weight? My daughter is her own person and has made it clear how she feels about you."

"Yeah," Scorpius laughed under his breath, "But she does value your opinion and I don't want this to come between us. Rose likes to think of relationships in terms of investments-"

"Investment?" His voice cracked slightly. "What do you mean by investment?"

Scorpius raised his hands defensively. "I'm not talking marriage. We're only eighteen."

"I was engaged when I was eighteen." Ron cut him down quickly.

"I …was not aware of that." Scorpius breathed anxiously. "But Rose wouldn't want to get married this young…. My point is, I just want to be able to date her without any interference."

My father hesitated.

"Please sir. I…I don't have that much time left with her."

Then, my uncle gave my dad a dirty look and sighed. Uncle Harry then said, "He's just being difficult. Go find her."

Scorpius's eyes lingered determinedly on my father, willing him to agree.

Eventually my father conceded, "Alright…go."

"Thank you sir!"

Scorpius stepped away from him and then I saw him look around. Looking for me. I leaned against a pillar and crossed my arms.

"Looking for me?" I let out a loud laugh as his arms around way around me like they always did. "Well hello…I don't recall seeing your name on the RSVP list!"

"Yeah, I'm gate crashing."

"You look handsome." I admired his tux slightly impressed.

He grinned, "Well I wouldn't kick you out of bed either Red."

"Why thank you!" I breathed and then glanced at him in amazement. "I'm sorry I'm just shocked."

"Why don't we dance?"

I eyed the dance floor. "You sure?"

"Yes."

He locked hands with me and headed me over to the dance floor. I heard a stir among my relatives, but nobody said anything to us. Scorpius wrapped his arms around me formally and I busted out in a fit of laughter. Eventually he joined me, not knowing what the reason for the laughter, but going along with it.

As our laughing calmed down we swayed to the music. I couldn't believe he did that. He stood up to my father and asked his permission. Was that real? Was this real? I couldn't believe it. For a few minutes I just glided gleefully in his arms. I wasn't going to mention the other night, we both silently agreed to let that go and just move on.

The problem was I couldn't move on from what his father had said to me. It was nagging me so incessantly that it was killing me. How could I waste this time? But on the other hand how could I go on another moment without knowing where this was going?

Suddenly the song went slow and I recognized it. No longer could I ignore it. After what he just did with my father "Scorpius?" I wondered aloud.

"Hm?"

"I know about your offer," I admitted guiltily.

Scorpius pulled back slowly, his bangs askew. "What offer?"

"The one saying you got into the American Ministry." I revealed quietly. "Your father told me."

He face tightened, but then seconds later it loosened. "… I wasn't sure how to tell you."

"What are we going to do?" I asked in a quiet voice that barely carried over the music. "Is that what's been bugging you?"

"A bit..." His expression grew serious. "What do you want to do?"

"I want to be with you."

"Then," He tugged me closer, pressing his forehead against mine. "Fuck the rest."

"But-"

Scorpius put a finger to my lips, his eyes agonized. "Let's just worry about that later. Alright?"

I smiled. "Alright."

"I'm sorry for you know…"

I nodded. "Me too."

And then we spent the rest of the night dancing and said nothing more of the future, but only focused purely on the present.


	25. Graduation

_As we go on, we remember_  
><em>All the times we had together<em>  
><em>And as our lives change, come whatever<em>  
><em>We will still be friends forever<em>

**-Graduation By: Vitamin C-**

* * *

><p>I sat down at the Gryffindor table next to Lauren and Kelly, with my final exam reviews plastered in front of my face.<p>

Lauren let out a loud snort of laughter as she flipped her long blonde hair, "Well nice to see you too Rose."

"Ah huh." I muttered distractedly.

"Rose you already got into the program you wanted….you _can_ slow down." Lauren told me.

I shook my head. "If I don't get all O's they could take a way the offer. They are offering it to the valedictorian of our class."

"Kelly don't you think she should take a break?" Lauren asked not even looking at Kelly.

Kelly wasn't much help to Lauren for support as she was currently ignoring her boyfriend as she re-read her astronomy notes. "Nope."

"You two!" Lauren sighed in irritation; "I'm going to go to my dorm where people actually think about things other than studying until their brains rot out!"

"Have fun." I told her as I turned the page of my book. 

Someone slipped into the seat next to her and put their books on the table next to mine. I didn't look up. I did when a hand slipped into mine and intertwined their fingers with mine. 

"You're aware that not only the whole hall can see you, but that you're spitting in the face of every Slytherin by doing this." I told him without a hint of surprise.

Lately he didn't give a shit who saw us together. I guess now that Quidditch season was officially over he had no reason to hold back. And half the time I wasn't sure if he was doing it for my benefit or his own. One thing for sure was the Slytherin table didn't look too pleased. They looked absolutely revolted that one of the best of them had sunk to being with me. Then again they looked no more pleased than the Gryffindor's who were now forced to endure his inflexible presence.

Scorpius's hard gray eyes gave no sign of comprise. "We're together."

"I know…" I decided to move on and not even bother to fight him. If he wanted to bring on the wrath of his whole house that was his decision. "What are you working on?"

"Potions."

"Well can you please pass the pancakes?"

He did and he also handed me the plate of maple syrup.

"Now how did you know I wanted maple syrup?"

Scorpius gave me a dirty look. "Are you kidding? You lather your food in it. I'm surprised you aren't 3,000 pounds."

"Well my thighs have been feeling thick since last game." I told him teasingly. "I don't get much exercise you know."

"Any help I can provide, you know I'm all for you health." He whispered subtly, his tone entirely inappropriate for the lunch table.

I elbowed him under the table and I heard the students around us grow quiet to hear our conversation. 

Once breakfast was over, we separated. He left for the library while I went with Lauren to my common room. For all her talk about relaxing, she really got down to it when she needed to. I guess her mother's last threatening Owl did the trick to get her into gear. We poured over transfiguration for hours before we stopped for dinner. My eyes started doing this weird thing were they would be so unfocused and then all of a sudden they would snap back to attention. That was the point where I decided to break for the night with studying. At dinner Kelly was still cramming for her exam even though it was a week away. I didn't even bother to try to tell her to take a break. Kelly was the sweetest person, until it came to academics. Something about the pressures of school made her snap into this bitchy little girl who would slit your throat if you so much as touched her lucky quill. 

Scorpius sat over at the Slytherin table, so I spent most of dinner talking to Lily. It was a nice conversation. Then again we never really had to try to find things to talk about. Lily always seemed to know the most lavish gossip. I don't know where she gets half of her information, but I do know that she's the type to check her sources before she spreads the news. When she was in the middle of telling me about this Ravenclaw fifth year we both stopped talking. Why? Because Albus walked into the Great Hall and instead of going straight to the Gryffindor table like he should have, he lingered in the middle. 

Lily furrowed her eyebrows. "What is he doing now?...You know I feel like he's on drugs or something."

"Lily!" I snapped disapprovingly. "That's your brother!"

"When is the last time he even remotely cared about anyone else?" She shook her freshly curled ginger hair, "The minute I see him go back to the way he was I will start treating him like my brother."

Lauren let out a low whistle from across the table. "Well Lily you might get your chance, because he's heading towards the Slytherin table…"

I stood up, and so did a handful of other people. No one wanted to miss this. 

Albus tapped Scorpius on the shoulder. Scorpius, who was a moment earlier sipping his water and making flashcards for charms, glanced up angry at the interruption. When he saw who it was the anger grew and Lily grabbed my arm to stop me from going over there. 

"Let it play out." She told me.

And I did

Albus cleared his throat furiously. "I apologize, for what I did to you."

"What?"

Even from a hundred feet away, I could see Albus gritting his teeth. "I apologize."

"For what?" Scorpius asked, turning to face him, with a malicious look on his face.

"What I did to you." Albus repeated vaguely.

Scorpius inclined his head. "Yes, you said that. What part?"

"The part…" Albus paused as he seemed to be trying to control his temper. "Where I erased your memory and helped Rachel. I apologize."

Scorpius gave him one last look and then looked across the room at me. I could tell he wanted to tell him to shove it up his ass. But instead he scowled and replied, "Fine." 

You know when they say it's so quiet you can hear a pin drop? It was literally that quiet. Everyone watched and listened as Albus walked away from Scorpius, shot me a significant look and left the hall entirely. The noise rushed back into the place I let out a sigh of relief. 

"I sooo thought they were going to fight." I breathed to Lily.

She smiled, this small secretive smile that I didn't trust for a minute.

I lowered into my seat and gave her suspicious look. "What?"

"I don't see it."

"See what?"

"What it is that apparently make men go crazy." Lily informed me, "You seem normal, but you have this power."

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "I guess."

"No I'm serious. That situation wouldn't have happened at all if it weren't for you. A year ago Albus would have punched Scorpius. Scorpius, and his band of Slytherin's would have turned around and beat the crap out of him."

I frowned. She was right.

"But, you mean so much to both of them that they both, put that entirely aside for you." Lily gave me a look.

"What are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying maybe you should forgive Albus for what he's done and really be appreciative of Scorpius…It took a lot of balls to walk over there. And it took even more for Scorpius not to seize the opportunity to squash him." 

Everyone rose, as dinner was over, but I lingered for a bit. Lily's words stayed with me longer than they should have. I rose from my seat and walked over to Scorpius. But I was surprised to see not only he didn't wait for me, but the minute he did see me he sped up so I couldn't catch up with him. What was with him? 

He wasn't in the common room or his room, so I thought I should look for him. I looked in the kitchens in the library before I finally checked the Astronomy tower. He looked absolutely murderous when he saw me. I was shocked, what the hell had I done? 

"What?"

"What was that?" He spat pointing down the stairs. "Was that some sort of test to make sure I was in line?"

I was completely clueless as to what I was talking about. "Scorpius, what are you talking about?"

"THAT DISPLAY IN THE GREAT HALL!" He roared enraged.

"…I didn't tell him to do that!"

He shot me a nasty look of disbelief. "_Sure _you didn't."

"I told him that if he ever wanted a chance for us to be friends again he had to own up and apologize to you." I said defensively, "I never told him to strut up to you in the Great hall and do that."

"Well you as good as did." He scoffed angrily; he took a step down so he was mere inches from my face. "Did you even think of the consequences that would have? The Slytherin house already loathes me. Do you have any idea what this is doing to my reputation?" 

That did it. I tried to stay level headed. I tried to not fly off the handle and get upset, but at the mention of his _precious_ reputation. "I _never _told you to come out about us. I _never _told you to sit with me at lunch or to hold my hand in between classes. I _never_ told you to be nice to Albus, and you certainly didn't have to say anything to him when he came over to you. I _did_ however tell him to apologize. He didn't _have _to take it, and he didn't have to do it the way he did it. The _exact same way_ you didn't have to respond or take his forgiveness at all. All I wanted was for him to own up to it. You deserved an apology whether you wanted to hear it or not." I gritted my teeth as I glared at him. "Now I personally apologize if that was offensive to you. I will work on being damaging to your reputation." My voice grew more hateful with each and every word. "As for the opinion of the Slytherin house. I think you already shot that horse in the face. So if you want to fix the opinions of three hundred people in the three weeks you have left of school, _be, my, guest."_

He grabbed my arm as I moved to leave.

"What?" I snapped, tears sprouting up in my eyes. "Have anything else you'd like to share? Or do you not want me to leave upset because it might ruin you're reputation?"

Scorpius visibly was shaken by my words. I could see the tears whiling up in his own eyes as his jaw grew tight with regret. "I didn't mean…I'm sorry…I shouldn't have…"

"No, you shouldn't have and I'm really sick of this. Either you don't care what they think or you do." I told him, bluntly crying. "I get shit from my house too, but have you ever heard me say a word about it? No, because I love you and I don't care about anything else."

"I'm sorry."

My lip started trembling, "Do you want to know why I came after you in first place?"

"Why?"

"Lily said I should appreciate you more because you put everything aside for me." I starred up at him from my facefull of tears. "So I came… to thank you."

That broke him, he put his hands on my shoulders, tears rolling down his cheeks. "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry. I should've…I won't do it again…I'm sorry." 

Then I broke down. I couldn't even turn away from him. I was so stressed out from everything that's been going on that this was just the last straw. His arms circled around me and we both gradually moved to the floor. He cradled me into his lap as I cried hard into his shoulder. I could feel he was crying too and we began to hold each other tighter and tighter until it was like we became one big crying mess. Finally after however long we both calmed down. It was weird I never expected to see him cry, but I guess we were both at that point where if we were just pushed a little bit farther we would lose it. 

As we wiped our faces I clung onto him and he clung onto me. We were so tired, that we both fell asleep right there. When we woke a few hours later we were both sore from the uncomfortable positions. 

"Hey," I frowned softly swiping his hair off his face.

"Hi," He whispered back with a small smile.

I let out a sigh. "What time is it?"

"Midnight…and we were supposed to rounds three hours ago…" He groaned.

"Well nothing we can do about that now. I doubt they'd even care. No one will be out right now. Everyone's too busy cramming for finals."

He pushed himself up to his feet and pulled me up alongside him. His cloudy eyes flashed with regret as he saw my puffy cheeks. "I really am sorry for yesterday."

"Yeah me too." I sighed, not having the energy to say anything further. 

Scorpius wrapped his arm around my shoulder lightly kissed my forehead before we started walking back to our dorm. Wordlessly he followed me back to my room and waited for me to change and brush my teeth before crawling into bed with me. As I laid on his chest I felt a jagged scar perk up just below the left side of his rib cage. Curiously, I sat up and starred at it. 

"Where'd you get that?"

His face grew dark and I watched as he fought with himself. Before he finally gave in and said. "When I was younger I got into a fight with my father."

"For what it's worth…He seems proud of you." I told him quietly. "Maybe not of your choice of girlfriend. But he seemed really proud of how you've done career wise."

"Yeah, well either way I don't give much stock to what my father thinks."

I frowned. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"You don't speak to your father."

I shrugged, "That's different."

"Why?" He questioned me softly.

"Because my dad would rather hold onto his pride than his daughter." I looked into his eyes sadly. "Whereas your dad…despite however he raised you or what he's done seems to sincerely regret what he's done."

Scorpius carefully brushed my hair out of my face. "What makes you think that?"

"When he was shoving your position in my face…there was hint of pride mixed in there that I recognized. He loves you. He just has no idea what to do about it."

He smirked and he quoted, "_You have a heart you just have no idea how to use it."_

I smiled; he was quoting me to me. "Well you had to get something else from your father besides your good looks." I told him honestly.

"My what?"

I shook my head. "I'm honestly not even in the mood for that."

"Okay okay." He raised his hands defensively.

"I'm just saying. He may never win a father of the year award, but if he tries maybe you should give it a minute before you shut him down."

He eyed me. "What if he tells me to dump you?"

"Well first of all, I'm sure he's done that a million times already. And secondly, he's your father. No matter what he's important to you, and this point he's more important than me." I cupped his face. "Promise me you'll think about it."

His hand held mine passing warmth from the tips of his fingers to mine. "Why is it so important to you?"

"Because I don't want you to be married with kids in twenty years and be mad at yourself for not even opening yourself up to the possibility."

"You really do care don't you?"

I nodded, "Of course I do. No matter what happens. I will always care about you."

"Promise?" He stuck out his thumb knowingly.

I laughed and linked my thumb with his. "Always."

* * *

><p>Then I proceeded to fall back on my pillow and encased me in his arms. I fell into a deep sleep. Scorpius woke me in the morning by nuzzling my neck. <p>

"Come on." He whispered.

I groaned and climbed under my pillow exhaustedly. "What?"

"We have class and you have to turn in your end of the year project." He reminded me.

I squinted up at him with a yawn. "How do you know that?"

"I've seen your planner." He told me dryly as got up off the bed and reached for his shirt. I stopped him sleepily.

"Can't you just go to class like that?"

Scorpius's eyebrows rose with a worn smile. "Just in my boxers?"

"Mhmm…" I muttered rolling over and pulling him into my arms. I put my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. "Let's not go."

"As much as I would love to stay here," He started his voice laced with amusement. "We have to get up."

I groaned and put my whole body on top of his with my eyes still closed. "How about now?"

"We still have to go." He laughed, causing his body shake underneath mine.

"No…Let's stay." I bent down and began to kiss him, after a few minutes of this he was entirely convinced. 

Raw passion began to drive him and I remembered what he had said earlier about my pajama's being flimsy. His hands roamed over my body possessively as nothing drove us but adrenaline and pure lust. We wouldn't have stopped, but right before we were fully naked I heard a voice downstairs shout up. I was beyond livid. Why Kelly? Why couldn't you have just gone to class? 

Pulling myself off of Scorpius I whipped on my shirt and some shorts and rushed to the door to head Kelly off. "Yes?" I asked shutting the door behind me.

"You weren't at breakfast." She replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Well…come on. We're going to be late." 

I wanted to yell and scream, but cute little Kelly had no clue. She didn't see the messy hair, inside out shorts and loose shirt and think anything of it. But I wasn't going to leave Scorpius half naked in my bed. 

"I'll meet you there."

"I can wait." She told me cheerfully.

I shook my head. "I'll meet you there."

"No, really it's no problem." 

I let out a sigh. She really wasn't going to let this go. Kelly was going to make me say it. Oh god…why? I laughed under my breath as I felt so incredibly uncomfortable. How did this become my life? I couldn't exactly lie to her and every attempt to just avoid her was just being shot down. So what did she really leave me with? _The truth._

So I bluntly said to her, "Kelly would you mind meeting me there? I would love to go with you, but Scorpius is half naked in my bed and I'd like to spend sometime with him before class."

Her brown eyes became as wide as saucers. "Oh…_Oh_… I'm so sorry. I didn't realize when you were….I'm gonna just go. I'll see you…later." She then practically ran down the rest of the steps and out of my common room.

As I walked back into my room, I broke into hysterical laughter. Scorpius didn't seem as amused. He was zipping on his pants when I reached him. "I love that you find this funny…"

"What do you want me to do?" I asked him still laughing lightly. "I tried to get her to leave nicely and she wouldn't get it. I'm not happy, but I'm not mad either. She didn't mean anything by it."

He sighed, but didn't say anything as he grabbed his shirt.

"Come on don't be mad."

"Well, now I'm going to be late to class. Which was fine when I thought I would get something out of it. But now…" He shook his head and kissed my forehead. "I'll see you later."

I groaned and moved to stop him, "Scorp-" 

But he moved out of my reach and went to his room. After letting out an irritated sigh I fell back on my bed in agony. After a few minutes I got dressed, grabbed a granola bar and ran to class. I was fifteen minutes late, but my teacher didn't say anything. It was then that I realized Kelly must have told her I would be late. If that was or wasn't true though I would never know because Kelly wouldn't look at me. I don't think she was mad I think she was just severally embarrassed. Which would definitely fade in time. 

Until then I focused on my schoolwork. I turned in all of my work, finished the last of the prefect rounds schedule and even started writing my graduation speech. After all that was finished I wandered outside. I had an hour until dinner and I felt the need to get out and relax. It was weird how genially nice it was outside. The air smelled so strongly of spring that I couldn't help, but walk around on the grounds. Several other people had the same idea. Some were playing sports, some were studying, and some were just sleeping. Scorpius was sitting by the tree by the lake. His pant legs were rolled up and his feet were floating ever so slightly in the water. 

I came up to him and sat down next to him. "Well hello."

"Hi," He narrowed his eyes at me half-heartedly.

"What are you doing?"

"I _was_ relaxing."

I frowned at him playfully. "You still mad?"

"Nope, I just learned that you are a tease."

I let out a short laugh at that. "Oh, I am?"

"Yep." He smirked, unable to hold it back any longer.

"Well..." I leaned forward so he could see down my shirt while cupped handful of water with my other hand. "I'm sorry you think that."

Unashamedly, his eyes lingered, but before I could throw the water at me he caught my arm with a knowing expression. "You don't think I know what you're up to?"

"Ugghhh." I laughed guiltily.

Then without another word he threw my bag behind the tree and tossed me in the lake. I was drenched, and I was wearing white.

"SCORPIUS MALFOY!" I shouted furiously.

He bent over he was laughing so hard. "Nice polka dot bra." 

That did it. I bolted over to him and managed to wrestle him into the water. It was quite a fight as he was almost twice as strong as me, but I managed to use all of my body weight to lobby his in. As we thrashed around in the water we couldn't help laughing hysterically at each other and we made the most ridiculous faces as we tried to one up each other in the water. Somehow, he managed to lift me, but it was weird because one of my legs was on his shoulder while the other was on his hip. 

His face was dripping as he grinned at me, "You gonna stop?"

I shook my head with a grin of my own. "Never!" 

Then he threw me around until it grew dark and we both were tired. And then instead of going straight to dinner we laid together on the tree by the lake to dry off. As I shivered he pulled me closer and pressed his lips to my forehead as he held me securely in his arms.

* * *

><p>Later on in the week we were fitted for our graduation robes, it felt too soon. Kelly started crying when she saw me in mine, which almost made me cry. Lauren, being the tough bird she was told us to get it together we weren't to the end yet. <p>

The next week it got even worse. I spent every possible minute with Lauren, Kelly and Scorpius. Although, we all were cramming for our exams I made sure to make time for each one of them. Once exams were over though it was a free for all. We had a week until graduation and we used every single second we could. 

Scorpius took my hand in his as we did rounds for the last time. "So."

"So." I repeated back at him.

"We should probably talk."

My intestines tightened at the seriousness of his tone. "Yeah…" 

I knew eventually we would have to have this talk. The all or nothing talk and I guess it was wise to do it before graduation. We probably should end the school year the way we are going to spend the summer, but I really didn't want him to be sensible. It wasn't smart for us to stay together if he was going to America in the fall, but I didn't want to give up hope. That little seven year old in me, that fairytale loving girl, had come back sometime during the process of this relationship and I didn't want to beat down her so easily. 

"I think we should try it." He declared finally. "I know it won't be easy…but I think we'll regret it more if we don't at least try it."

My face broke into a huge smile, then I impulsively pinned him to the nearest wall and kissed him, hard. When I pulled away I was still beaming. "That was exactly the right answer."

"I have to say," He admitted sheepishly as rested his hands on my shoulders. "I thought you were going to fight me."

My eyes narrowed in confusion. "Why?"

"You're so practical." He shrugged.

I cupped his face. "I told you no matter what, I'm here. It will take more than this to break us up."

"Promise?" He mocked getting out his thumb.

I waved it away forced him to look at me, my face entirely serious. "I mean it. I love you and I'm going to do everything I can to keep this going."

"I will too," His voice grew intensely resolute. Then, his hands held mine as I continued to cup his face. "I love you."

"I love you too."

The day of my graduation had come so quickly that I was unnerved to find it was already here. 

On my desk, all my acceptance letters sat, neatly folded together. I was accepted into 10 of the 11 programs I applied for. But I still had no idea what field I wanted to go into. That could wait till the summer. I just had to decide before August. For now I had to think about my graduation speech. I finished most of it, but I still needed a closing statement. Something that would get to my graduating class and encourage them for the future. Unfortunately, sweepingly uplifting statements didn't just come to me. Scorpius had finished his last night and I was fairly sure it was only a paragraph long. But then again that fit him, short, to the point. Mine was just destined to be long winded. 

Finally after hours of staring at a blank piece of parchment I finally finished it. I placed it on top of all of my acceptance letters and finished packing. It only took a matter of minutes, but once I was finished I found myself crying. I was going to miss this room. I'd only spent a year in it, but it had been kind to me. It had taken me in, comforted me in my moments of weakness, and supported me through everything. And now I would leave and probably never see it again. I hugged my bed and pocketed my wand. House elves were going to come get my luggage, so I left it all the beginning of the door and I stuck all of the letters in my purse. Starring at my clean and empty room, I frowned. 

"Bye room." I whispered before walking down the stairs. 

I then spent the rest of the morning walking around the castle by myself saying goodbye to all of my favorite places. I even made sure to say goodbye to the kitchen house elves that I had spent so many nights baking with. They all hugged me and it almost made me cry, but I held on. It was going to be a long day if I started crying now. 

What people don't get is that even if you return to a place it doesn't mean the same as when you were there originally. Everything doesn't feel the same, and it's not just that the place has changed over time it's also that you as a person have changed as well. And as I told Tinky not to cry, I knew I didn't want to change. 

"You okay?" Scorpius asked as we walked up to the Astronomy tower for the last time.

"Yeah," I smiled exhaustedly, "It's just…I know I'm going to cry, and I'm trying to avoid it as hard as I can."

His eyebrows furrowed, he didn't get it. "You'll still see everyone after Hogwarts."

"Yeah, but it will be different. I don't want it to. I like the way things are now." I told him as we reached the top and sunlight warmly grazed our faces.

"Anyone that's worth being in your life will find a way to be in it." He told me as he wrapped his arm around me. 

As I eased into his chest, I hoped he was right. We looked across the grounds that had been our home for seven years. For a few minutes we stood there both of us just going through our memories. 

"What are you thinking about?" I asked him softly.

"Just…_stuff_…Do you remember the first time you met me?"

I frowned and shook my head. "No."

"We were on the train." He told me, "You were sitting with either Kelly or Lauren….and I ran into you."

I blinked trying to remember that and then it hit me and I smiled. "I called you a jerk."

"And instead of apologizing I just pushed you."

"And then James and Albus came over and beat you up." I laughed clutching his shoulder.

His eyes sparkled; the light caught his gray eyes making them almost look blue. "That's how I met my friends…they helped clean me up and gave me a seat on the train."

"Really?" I murmured. "I never knew that."

"We better go, we have to change." 

I nodded and gave the view one last look before going down the stairs. 

Lauren, Kelly and I got ready together in the 7th Gryffindor girls common room. Kelly could barely contain herself and I had a hard time not letting it get to me. But I refused to cry before my speech so I just kept them talking about other things. 

"Are you excited for your internship Lauren?" I asked as I finished up my eye make up.

She shrugged as she finished straightening her long blonde hair. "Yeah I guess so…I mean I didn't really want to go into Magical Law Enforcement, but maybe I'll like it or maybe I can transfer to something else when I'm done."

"That's a good way to think about it." I commended her for not using her usual negative perspective. I nudged little Kelly as wiped the smudges of mascara from her cheeks. "What about you?"

She sniffed. "Oh I'm excited to start being a Healer. I can't wait to help people."

Lauren laughed and walked over to Kelly, her flip-flops clicking the whole way. "Oh Kell, please stop crying. It's not like you aren't going to see us again."

"I know…" She half sobbed as we went on either side of her and hugged her. "I just…I hate this. I love you guys."

"Aww honey." I said, "We love you too."

Lauren snorted, "Now, you need to fix your blue robes and get it together or you're going to have to put your make up on all over again."

Kelly nodded obediently and went into the bathroom. 

Lauren sat with me on her bed and we both silently started crying. I rested my head on her shoulder, and the ends of our scarlet robes mingled together. I laughed despite myself.

"I thought you said we had to get it together." I said.

Lauren wiped the tears that had leaked out with a grin, "We won't tell her." She promised as we let ourselves cry a little.

* * *

><p>"We are officially graduated." I announced a few hours later, as I stood on a podium in front of 200 hundred people with my tassle constantly flicking in front of my face.<p>

"We are officially adults, which means ten, fifteen or twenty years from now we will look back on these years. Whether we laugh, cry or cringe, the days ahead are the ones that count. Who we were will never fade entirely, but who we will become will become more important. So I invite each and every one of you to take a moment. See where you want your future to go, and take it." 

Everyone from the crowd started clapping and I moved aside as Scorpius took the podium. He looked positively striking in his green robes. His face was serious, but I couldn't help to stare at the triangle of freckles that lingered only a few inches above his pointed chin. I was so proud of him. I was so proud of all of us. 

"Rose is right," He started bravely, "Today we decide. We decide what career we want, where we want to live, who we want to be. And we should take that opportunity to decide for ourselves. We should date the wrong people, we should get lost. We should take chances, and we should never regret doing so, because making mistakes are what make us unique and human and it's also what makes us who we were." 

Then he starred out impassively out to his peers and walked off the podium and over to me. As the Headmaster was about to speak, Scorpius, wrapped his arms around me and in front of the entire student body dipped me into a kiss. 

I heard a few boo's but overall applause rang out in the crowd cutting the headmaster's speech short. 

Once Scorpius released me, I chuckled at him and then ran over to my family. Lily, Roxanne, Victoire, Ted, Hugo, James and even Albus crowded around me in a family huddle. I felt flashes of camera lenses as I had the whole day, but somehow they seemed brighter when I was hugging Hugo and Lily. When we were done I turned and hugged my Aunt Ginny and Uncle Harry. 

My Uncle ruffled my hair affectionately despite the graduation cap. "Good job kiddo."

"Thanks Uncle Harry." 

I then, searched for my parents. My mother was crying into my father's shoulder and he too looked like he'd been shedding some tears.

"Oh ma!" I took her into my arms, "I love you."

"I know…_I'm being silly_…I'm just so proud of you."

I beamed, "Well thank you." 

For a second my father and I eyed each other, before I just threw away all of my previous anger and threw my arms around him.

He was surprised so it took him a minute to react, but eventually his arms came around me.

"I love you daddy."

"I love you too sweetheart." 

Then the photo shoot began. I took a picture with my mom, with my dad, with my mom and my dad, with each one of my cousins and with all of them together. When Albus took the picture with me he incased me in a big hug that I didn't expect. When I took the picture with James however he insisted that I jump on his back and pretend to be flying. I don't know why, but I went with it. But my favorite was with Hugo. Before we even took the picture I could see how proud of me he was reflected in his big brown eyes. His arm wrapped around my shoulder, and I rested my head against his shoulder in a picture I knew I'd frame for years to come.

Next came the pictures with all of my friends. I took one with anyone that asked me too, but I took about a thousand with Kelly and Lauren. We did everything from casual, where we would be striking poses and carrying each other, to the single shots of me holding one or both of them with the most natural smile on my face. 

I thought I had gotten everyone when I saw someone stand out from the crowd. 

I looked at Aidan, and saw everything we had been through. I wanted to apologize for everything, to hug him goodbye and to wish him for the best with everything. But somehow the words died on my lips. Somehow we'd come so far that it didn't seem like those words needed to be spoken anymore Instead I just smiled at him and turned back over to my family. Sometimes it's just best to leave something in the past where they belong. 

I felt a tap on my shoulder and I was astounded to find the tapper was none other than Draco Malfoy.

"I came to apologize for what I said to you," He told me in a very refined voice, as his extraordinarily beautiful wife held his hand.

I nodded curtly, "I appreciate that."

"It's nice to meet you Rose." Mrs. Malfoy held out her delicate hand and I shook it ecstatically.

"The pleasure is all mine Mrs. Malfoy." I answered politely.

Mrs. Malfoy subtly elbowed her husband and he rolled his eyes and continued. "I also would like to thank you for whatever you said to my son."

"What do you mean?"

"He's been trying to keep in touch more, and he said it had something to do with something you said." Mrs. Malfoy intervened smoothly, her raven hair brushing her face elegantly.

I blushed, "Well I merely suggested he appreciate what he has, if he's done that then I'm glad." 

"_Dad…Mum_?" Scorpius muttered incredulously, his face matching my earlier shock. "_What are you-_?"

"We're meeting your girlfriend sweetie."

"Ah…_Okay_." He froze nervously, his face switching from confused to impassive.

My mother stepped forward and took out her camera with a knowing look on her face. "Would you two like a picture together?"

"Yes, thanks mum."

Scorpius put his arm around my shoulder and I snaked my arm around his waist. "So how weird is this?" He muttered under his breath.

"On a scale from 1- not so weird, to 5- incredibly horrifyingly weird?...I'd give it a 4.5."

I felt his hot laughter on my neck as his parent's scooted over. I could see them and my family giving each other looks, but for once neither said anything. "I'd give it a straight up five." 

My mother held up the camera, "Okay you two, I'm going to take three. Ready?"

I laughed shortly; my jaw was beginning to get sore from all the smiling. "Yeah mum." 

For the first one we smiled and for the second one she got a shot of me holding him in a headlock as he tried to pick me up. In the last one, she took a picture of us beaming as he held me bridal style. Both of our hats had fallen on the ground and my robes were caught on his belt, but it was great. 

When he put me down, we disentangled ourselves and I looked at him. Finally he saw me perfectly for what I was, selfish, impatient, distrustful, career oriented and utterly stubborn and set in my ways. And he still loved me. A part of me felt that we needed our hearts to be broken. If we didn't how would we ever truly know how deep our love went? And how would we ever feel so irrevocably human? To lose each other and test each other as we did made us suffer, which made us appreciate each other when we were with each other. If we didn't hurt we wouldn't have appreciated anything and then we might have written our relationship off as a fluke. So in the end I have to thank Albus, Rachel and Aiden for what they did. Although….I will never say that to their faces.

* * *

><p><strong>Authors Note:<strong>

I love each and every one of you. I hope you enjoyed this, and will be pleased to hear that it will have a sequel. This story is dedicated to everyone who has read this. I hope this gives you guys hope, when your down and you can remember that yes life can suck, but you can turn it around...in a non Barbie movie way lol.


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